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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:05:33 PM | I think it needs to be said AGAIN that there is a HUGE difference between someone who is taking antidepressants for chemical imbalance/situational depression....eg: post partum depression, as opposed to someone with Bi-polar disorder or BPD.
Please resist the temptation to lump various mental health issues together. They are very different from each other, and should be distinguished as such. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:07:08 PM |
Racheljay
Your boyfriend had much bigger problems than depression.
The bigger problems are what caused his depression.
Antidepressants wouldn't be very effective for his underlying problem.
My intention was to say that he was overly tired which was caused by the medication.
Of course his problems were an issue before he took them, that's why he took them, to make them better but they didn't seem to work. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:40:12 PM |
Please resist the temptation to lump various mental health issues together. They are very different from each other, and should be distinguished as such.
 Thank you ~ I can not believe all of these arm-chair professionals arrived in one thread. Wow ~ we've hit the lotto on "I can diagnose and tell you all you are a bunch of crazies if you need a pill to get through this or that" on here. 
~OT~ The original post has been complete ignored, the judgments somewhat naive and at best, uninformed. But then again ~ for me it's pretty simple: until I get a degree from Harvard, choose mental health as my profession of choice, and delve into the personal lives of others ~ it's really a person to person decision and definitely not up to me to determine who or what anyone else thinks.
I've known some folks on meds who were wonderful and while stabilized and under professional care ~ I would have NEVER known they were on meds had it not been for their honesty. Then again, I've known people not on meds that clearly needed "happy pills" of some sort . Those people are the ones I'd stay away from ~ toxic little individuals when imbalanced..... ekkkk. Nevertheless, it's personal opinion. I have taken meds for anxiety ~ I'm only dateless if/when I choose to be. Guess my little tic-tacs aren't a detourant for those who know or have known/loved me. As for anti-depressants ~ if I get to that stage, I'm takin' the meds ~ if there is a "he" at the time, he can either get over it or move right on down the road because I have no use for anyone who judges others based upon something such as a blip in my ability to be completely blissful at all times. Not all people on meds require meds long-term, not all people on meds have such horrific underlying issues they can't overcome whatever is going on at that present time, with meds for short term. If he can't deal with an anti-depressant ~ can he deal with breast cancer three years down the road? Probably not ~ but, to each their own.  | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:57:33 PM | | Okay, so I admit to not reading every entry on this exhaustive thread, but since its free and many posts seem gentle my figurative two cents enter the pot. Simply placed and within good reason, there really is nothing quite like the descent into the utter blackness of mental anguish , no matter its genisis. Situational, chronic or chemical, life's enjoyment beckons from beyond an unopenable door and surrounds one with a vast pallor of all that is profoundly bleak. What you knew becomes a unknowable, what you did undoable, and the mind untenable. They/us/we/them cannot be loved or doped out of such a state and into bright places minus experiencing the excruciating, really really excruciatingly painful loop of realistic assessment and (unfortunately) some degree of experimantation. In such a condition and in many instances, recovery may well not be wished for on ones own volition, rendering the worse all the more so. And yet, recovery can and does take place over time. The correct pharmacuticle relief takes hold, a situation improves, therapy jogs loose the trappings of interloping encumbrances, poor choices regarding alcohol and/or recreational drug usage are amended, love enters and pushes the door from the outside. Meanwhile its work, work like nothing before or after. So would I date someone on anties? In a beat of the heart. IF they are doing this work and I never, never, ever offer myself as something systematically integrated to become part of the cure. Good day everyone! | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:25:03 AM | I guess message 167 was the one I was waiting for...the following is on subject relating to dating someone on AD's:
I went to the market one morning to collect some things for breakfast, milk, butter, bread, eggs and bacon...yum! When having gathered everything I stood in line to check out, when the feeling I'd forgotten something came over me. I thought as hard as I could of what it may be, but dismissed it as must not be important. Arriving in my kitchen I opened the door to the refrigerator and there it was, the word "BUTTER" inside the door. Of course! The Butter! I knew I forgot something.
I do know what meds and depression are like and understand the value of some really good talking. Because, like the butter, we hide things in our heart like King David recognized millenniums ago: "I've hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you". There are many things we hide in our hearts that have an effect on our lives. It's a natural and necessary function because we cannot attend to everything we've learned or experienced in our lives. So, we hide stuff that makes us who we are, and like that darn butter, we wont always be able to put our finger on it.
I wouldn't dare say that talking is enough for everyone after I've viewed brain scans of malfunctioning brains...some of drug abusers as well. Pitiful changes of irreparable magnitude many times. Medication often revives and renews the brain and people do get better.
Medicine is good!
When I hear such an unsubstantiated claim as I do put forward by you Kittenshere that is so adament about the cause of your husbands death, what I begin to think is, what is it hidden in your heart..."Your heart" in relation to his death? Do you need it to be the AD? ...and then there's the answer you're looking for?
When we become so unreasonable in the face of someones using AD's, isn't it really about us? Do you really know what gives your gut that push so that you can't really see straight? "Whatsoever a man thinks in his heart, so is he"...I think King Davids son Solomon said that one. The heart doesn't think, but what we hide there certainly does.
Kudos verygreeneyes! For your posts! I use an AD everyday and was a partier years ago which changed me. Years went by and I discovered AD's and things changed. I'm bright, intelligent, creative and I care. Like every average Joe, I have my days...I talk, and tomorrow is a new day. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:06:33 PM | Kittenshere...
Again, going off topic...My Dad committed suicide. He had a long history of hospitalizations for depression...was on every anti-depressant known to man.
The fact is, that the day he committed suicide, he could have gone to the hospital. He didn't have to take the action that he did.
The anti-depressant may have contributed to your ex-husband's death, but it did not "decide" his course of action for him. He had to plan, and carry out his course of action. He could have chosen differently.
Suicide is a choice. | |
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jaemey
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Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 257 | |
| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:32:31 PM |
The anti-depressant may have contributed to your ex-husband's death, but it did not "decide" his course of action for him.
I completly agree. The anti-depressant may or may not have had an influence. Either way he wasn't on the right dose or medication, if the ending was so tragic. Like I said before people need meds in conjunction with many other things to be effective.
He had to plan, and carry out his course of action. He could have chosen differently.
I agree with this statement, but it is not the only circumstance. Everyone always has a choice... that is the beauty of life. Might not always like the choices, but they are always there. For some people though, especially when deeply depressed, they feel they have no other choice... they see no other options. It is sad because they don't see any end to the agony they endure each day etc.... and in there state they really see suicide as the only choice. I guess what i am saying is that although someone looking in can see those choices, the other person has no sense of reality at the time to make a clear judgement.
People attempt suicide in different states of depression as well. They could be driving down the road and *click* want to end it all and drive their car of a cliff, and it is common to keep an eye on those that are coming out of depression.... for the warning signs as well.
I think that the point is that people that have been through it can recognize their symptoms...know they will come out of it, and ask for help when they need it. Without a really good support system... and even with.... suicide happens. Chronic sufferers will reach a point where they can see the stages and cycles of their depression and be aware of when to get help. If they choose to .....
so yes, suicide is a choice, as hard as it is to see sometimes.... | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:52:27 PM | | deppression is a symton of spirtual bankruptcy. I recovered from such by meditation and total abstinance from drugs and alcohol. I also exercised as a day to day activity to break my unhealthy daily patterns. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:03:15 AM | In answer to the SUBJECT question. YES i would date someone on antidepressants.
WHY: I have done in the past and understand their needs, they are no different than you or I.
Its amazing that people CANNOT read the subject and answer the question without goingoff on a tangent.Maybe they should start their own post. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 11:18:15 AM | Eh..........................antidepressants? Who.....where and how? Damn it.................I have forgotten to take my lithiam today. I wonder......................up or down?I am forever blowing bubbles. Who said that? Me? Nope! Well................. I don't think so? What the hell.......................okay I did it.
And.................................................you want me to change all this for a "normal" life? Hey........................who is the mad one,eh?
Anyway....................... trying desperately to get back to the point.................is there any BiPolar ladies around? | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 11:26:40 AM |
deppression is a symton of spirtual bankruptcy.
And you base this conlcusion on what? Clearly nothing factual or based in reality. Please don't stereotype all of us with depression just because you were "spiritually bankrupt" at one time.
Your post is a symptom of intellectual bankruptcy. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:45:45 PM | I hope he's using that as a metaphor, Steve....I get overdrawn at the memory bank ,sometimes too.....( a funny metaphor.)
polarman....people "across the pond" don't understand your dry British humour, like I do....
I can hear all the comments, now.....*in best Shirely Temple voice*..everything is taken vewy sewiously hewe..... | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:25:11 PM | Heck, Most everyone I work with has been on antidepressants at one time or another. Not a bad thing. Life is tough sometimes, sometimes people need some help to get thru the bad times...Between work, personal issues, gas $4 a gallon "Thanks Bush", and all the other things that goes on in everyones life, I think it is normal to be on them at some time in your life. If you live on them, thats a different story. But just becasue you are having a bad time, doesnt make you all bad. Maybe with a good relationship, with a good person, that in itself, having someone to talk to, can help them get off the Pharmacuticals.
Just my thoughs, | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:44:45 PM |
I'd be more inclined to date someone who's on an anti-depressant versus the one who should be on them but refuses to seek help.
I have read some of the responses on here and it's really intriguing reading everyone's thoughts. Dating someone or considering dating someone that's on antidepressants is a complicated issue.
Some people do take antidepressants as a result of difficult times in their life and when these problems resolve some people with go off the antidepressants. All depends on the individual really. Anyway there are others, such as myself that have battled clinical depression for years. Before I was diagnosed (in my teens) and treated I was a mess. It hurt my loved ones particularly my mum seeing me in that state. Admitting I was depressed and seeking help was the best thing I did. I am able to function now and contribute back to society. I'm not saying that antidepressants are the only thing that helps. I also have cognitive therapy.
As you can imagine telling someone you have depression is a big leap of faith. Most people I have told have been very supportive. I'm of the opinion that if you have depression or other mental illnesses you should tell the person you are dating as soon as possible. The dilemma is if you tell them on the first date you risk scaring them off.
I guess the important thing I try to remember is I am me. I am not depression. Judge me for the person I am, not my illness. I try to make the most out of a difficult situation. I try to support others like me.
In life I strongly believe that "my actions should not negatively impact others". Depression is not something that is contagious. However I understand the concerns some of you have regarding the impact dating someone would have on you.
I can't talk on behalf of others. Only myself. When I'm dating a guy I don't actually want to talk about my depression that much. I want to go out and have fun. Be distracted from it. Who wants to be miserable all the time.. Talking to a professional helps but talking to loved ones about it only upsets them and me.
So I guess what I'm saying is if a person you are dating tells you they take antidepressants it is ok to ask them questions. But please don't let it consume you time and your relationship. It's not worth it. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:13:38 PM | [alot of people taking anitdepressants end up comitting suicide. it has happend over and over and over. it also happend to my ex husband 4 months ago. so no i would not.]
Statistically speaking, the number of suicides of those ON anti-depressents is not so high; in relation to the ratio of how MANY people are actually taking ADs - it is quite low.
Know your facts before making blanket statements please! | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:19:31 PM | If they are responsible and taking care of themselves, i'd consider it. Besides, everyone has hard times, some people battle and have it rough; then theres those who stew in it and want to be rescued. So for me, i'd take my time and be careful and if it looked like that person truly tries and is working on themselves, why not.
My overall suggestion woud just be, careful.
My ex was on combined anti-anxiety/depressant, i loved her, it went 6 years. And being on meds had nothing to do with how we ended. I'm not saying this would be the case however for everyone. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:43:26 PM | As for me, Yep, sure would.
Some of the answers here are the general idiocy of ignorance -
... deppression is a symton of spirtual bankruptcy. (shall I give spelling lessons...? Nah)
but, as usual, we have some really heartfelt, intelligent answers as well (Love this community)
Since I'm not looking to date, I feel like I can be pretty open on this subject. I've taken AD's for about 14 years now. They have allowed me to break the chains of how I was raised, and give my kids a normal life for the most part.
I've also wondered why we, as a society, seem to be on mental meds so much these days. I often wonder if it's not a leftover of the psychedelic '60s. There's really no telling what smoking pot, hash, etc, did to the kids during the era of free love. I know my mom was a hippie, serious alcoholic, general user. What she wasn't was a mother in any sense of the word.
So, when I had my kids I was SO determined to give them better - no foster care, midnight arrests, insane people having a 3 day party. I've never been able to drink when I had a problem to deal with (Thank God), never been interested in drugs for the most part, was able to get a college degree and keep things together while they grew up.
They never gave me the feeling of euphoria - I still struggled financially (no education or child support until the two were older), never let me forget my problems, never gave me those rose-colored glasses.
What they did give me was the ability to think clearly enough to sort out those problems, allowed me to use energy in my daily chores and kid raising tasks instead of using it all to just get up and take a shower, and keep the emotions in check to normal response levels.
Without those meds society would have had yet one more generation in the 'system'.
With those meds, we have a solider, worker/student, and great kidlet.
I really liked this one because it made me think...
... fully engage that and find a deeper meaning in life than to just supress the signals with meds
I do, at times, feel like I've had to make a choice between maintaining normalcy at the price of deeper feelings. I have happily paid that price to give my kids a normal childhood vs the utter struggle to do something other than curl up in a ball and hide under my covers while they grew up. I get up, go to work, pay my bills on time, take an interest in their lives and activities, and tell them every day I love them. These are things the 'normal' person takes for granted yet is a struggle for some of us - with no reason, no sense of what we could fight or figure out - it just 'is'. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:49:10 PM | | If they were depress and wouldn't get help, I certainly would not. Depression is a medical condition that can be helped and could be brought on by circumstances that happen in life. For example, if a person looses a close loved one to death, such as a child, they may need a bit of help to get past the rough spots in their life. If they have a pschotic personality, ABSOLUTLY NOT. Men have more of a problem with this than women do, I think. In the past, the most normal thing he would do would be to self-medicate with alcohol. I had rather them take a medication monitored by a physican. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:03:21 PM | | Well, it would depend whether the reasons behind were caused by that person’s faults or the factors outside that person’s control and maybe whether it is chronic or acute condition. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:08:37 AM |
[alot of people taking anitdepressants end up comitting suicide. it has happend over and over and over. it also happend to my ex husband 4 months ago. so no i would not.]
Statistically speaking, the number of suicides of those ON anti-depressents is not so high; in relation to the ratio of how MANY people are actually taking ADs - it is quite low.
Know your facts before making blanket statements please
If I was married to her I'd kill me too. Pills just wouldn't be enough. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:09:57 AM | | Xinxpired, you do not know what ur talking aobut. you did not know this man. therefore you cannot tell me anyting abouat what killed him. You have no idea. all medications are not good for all people. everyone reacts differently. my ex did not take them right as i was told by his sister adn they screwed him up bad. she told me recently he was not taking them everyday becuase he woudl forget to. maybe thats why what happened happened. but I do know he was loisng his mind. I watched it...you did not. he got so messed up on the damn things he coudlnt even be sure of his own kids b day. and anyone who knows that man knows he brain was like a damn computer. he always kept up with dates and times. then one day came it was all gone. he was confused all the time not sure of anyting. so to tell me those depression pills had no part in it is crazy. they did. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:33:54 AM | Kittenshare....
I can tell you from personal experience, and from watching others....my Mother for example....that A/D's not taken properly, or withdrawn from cold turkey can be much more dangerous that the condition they were prescribed for.
My Mother was taking Paxil...she was withdrawn from ALL her medication, while her condition was assessed. Seven hours later, she was in a psychotic episode...she was given her medication. Within an hour, she was lucid again.
She had been taking a couple of these medications for 30 years.....
There's a very good reason why the prescription bottle says...."Take as directed" | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:47:48 AM | My best girlfriend just had twins and she started her prozac when she had them she was not going to go through the PPD that she had with her first child. She will be on it for about 6 months. Heck 3 kids and a full time job to go back to as a social worker in hospice care.
As for me I am epileptic. That is a lot to handle. When is the next seizure going to happen. Look for tile. Dont loose that drivers license. Fvcking stitches AGAIN!! New medications. Where did my brain roll to this time? I am not on them now but have been and have no problem with it and most are. My ex was bipolar and I wouldve shoved the sh1t down his throat if I could.
I went to my shrink and my diagnosis is "adjustment disorder" that means I am not adjusting well to this sh1t hole town and I better move out before it sucks the life out of me and I need drugs. Gotcha | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:50:11 AM | | I wouldn't jump into bed quickly with him. Take at least four months of talking on the phone, dating, being with his friends. Check him out. This is the only way you can find out, whether or not he is stable. Let a season go by. Three months, before you determine if you want to be EXCLUSIVE. He probably needs a friend more than a sex partner. He needs to come clean with the guilt of what he did, and ask for Forgiveness, in order for him to move forward with himself. Guilt and fear are two emotions held frequently with anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, respectively. Why does he get nervous? In other words, what does he fear? Why is he depressed? Go to the gym and work out with him.... this helps with anxiety and depression. Hope he doesn't drink a lot of caffeine and alcohol, as these two substances will certainly promote the feelings of anxiety and depression, within the chemically imbalance people, such as those who need these meds. | |
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