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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:58:58 AM | Why would you not want to date someone who is aware of their situation and doing something positive about it?
Someone who suffers from depression is not someone who should be ignored or incapable of a great relationship.
Relationships that are successful are based on mutual compatibility. Therefore if you are the type of personality that matches the other person's that should form a potential foundation.
Would you not date someone because they had flu? | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:40:31 PM | I find this question interesting.
Many people who have issues with depression also have issues with substance abuse (I know this because of my line of work).
A suggestion would be that you ask yourself what it is that YOU KNOW you can handle.
And remember that you are not a martyr, and that you cannot 'heal' or change the person.
CC. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:22:19 AM |
Many people who have issues with depression also have issues with substance abuse (I know this because of my line of work).
A suggestion would be that you ask yourself what it is that YOU KNOW you can handle.
And remember that you are not a martyr, and that you cannot 'heal' or change the person.
I find it dangerous when a person uses professional qualifications to justify stereotyping.
Yes, many people with depression also have chemical dependency issues. However, many people with depression do not. Also, many people without depression have chemical dependency issues. Again, many people without depression do not.
I will agree that there does seem to be a correlation between depression and substance abuse. However, I feel that your post at the very least implies that those who suffer from depression will also have substance abuse issues. I feel that this is unfair and inflmammatory.
I, for instance, suffer from severe depression. However, the only drugs that I take are prescription antidepressants, other non-abused prescription meds, ibuprofin when needed, and caffeine. I will admit to a caffeine addiction, but that's socially acceptable. I almost never consume alcohol, and while I have tried recreational drugs, it has been years because I simply lack the interest in them. Also, I'm far from a rare example.
To lump me in with substance abusers simply because we share depression in common would be as unfair as lumping all women in with the golddiggers who also happen to be women. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:01:01 AM | If you read again carefully, I stated many people, not all.
And yes, my education, experience and common sense allow for me to make such a statement.
CC. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:04:56 AM | Many people that have NEVER been diagnosed as clinically depressed are on antidepressants. Antidepressant are used for many illnesses. So the idea of leaving someone because you spotted antidepressants in their medicine cabinet is narrow minded.
For example 95% of all serotonin in the body is found in the gut, not the brain - so the effect of antidepressants on the brain is felt as a peripheral result in the gut as well. Many people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) take SSRI's and other and antidepressants for their Stomach not for depression.
Also some studies have shown that Antidepressants, such as Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil actually Boost Brain Growth and can Boot IQ's. Someone that has never been depressed might be taking antidepressants to boost intelligence, thus giving them an intellectual edge.
Quote:
"The study on rats, led by Vassilis E. Koliatsos, M.D., a neuropathologist at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, found that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) increase the density of nerve-impulse-carrying axons in the frontal and parietal lobes of the neocortex and part of the limbic brain which control the sense of smell, emotions, motivation, and organs that work reflexively such as the heart, intestines and stomach. “It appears that SSRI antidepressants rewire areas of the brain that are important for thinking and feeling, as well as operating the autonomic nervous system,” said Koliatsos.
The beneficial effects of a widely used class of antidepressants might be the result of increased nerve-fiber growth in key parts of the brain, according to a Johns Hopkins study being published in the January 2006 issue of the Journal of Neurochemistry." | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:27:07 AM | relax_hun said
I'd be more inclined to date someone who's on an anti-depressant versus the one who should be on them but refuses to seek help.
Agreed. There are a lot of folks that have a variety of things that stress them out, or make life difficult, and having an unbalanced brain chemistry is a medical condition like diabetes.
The only folks I know on anti-depressants are people who have TOLD me (usually once we're good friends - if it's a 1st date kind of thing, I view that as a warning sign) and I imagine if they're working well, you'd likely never know.
People who SHOULD be on some sort of medication or would drive me to medication would be more of a problem. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:36:34 AM | | I dated a woman that occasionally took antidepressants and we had a pretty good relationship. Im thinking that the exact diagnossi is more relevant than the prescription. Mild clinical drepression vs manic phychotic depression..... I would go with the first but not the second! | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:48:36 AM | | The question is whether you would DATE someone on antidepressants? Wow, are people really disclosing their personal medical history prior to a date with someone? A bigger WOW, are people really requesting personal medical history prior to asking someone on a date? We are not talking about a communicable disease here, even then, I'm not real sure PRIOR to an initial date is even appropriate. What happened to getting to know someone for who they are? What happened to if this person I've met on this date turned out to not be what I'm looking for, but I'd love to remain friends? I'm not on any form of any type of medication, so it's not as if I'm being biased in any way. And from way back in the posts, yes your right a person cannot cause you to be on antidepressants, but a situation brought on my being with a person, can cause you to seek medical help. Not all people get out of a relationship when they should! Seems we are all in for trouble when people are looking for COMPLETE perferfection in a member of the opposite sex. Come on, who is PERFECT? | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:43:31 AM | Great answer Relax_hun!
[quote}I'd be more inclined to date someone who's on an anti-depressant versus the one who should be on them but refuses to seek help.
And as afew others have said - those that are activly on anti-depressants are usually in a state of mind that they "want" to be happier people. Meds is only 20 - 30% affective according to msot docters - the rest is up to the will and desire of the person.
I would have no problem dating someone on anti-depresents, so long as they "wanted" to break free of it. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 3:13:36 PM | And as afew others have said - those that are activly on anti-depressants are usually in a state of mind that they "want" to be happier people. Meds is only 20 - 30% affective according to msot docters - the rest is up to the will and desire of the person.
This is very true. Meds are only a small part of the whole picture. Please realize that I am speakin from personal experience here, but over the years I've learned I need to listen to my body and what it is saying to me as to what's wrong. Ya know that little voice we all have. A lot of recovery from mental illness (depression, bi polar) is self motivation and finding inner strength. It's not easy to do, especially when you hit the rough times.
Dating can and is filled with with a lot of pitfalls and land mines. The one good thing about them is when you make it through them you find yourself a stronger and wiser person. It's sad that some do not realize this and see only the mental illness "label" and choose not to date you because of this. The flip side of the coin though is when you do begin dating someone and they realize the inner strength you have because of all you have struggled through, and you continue to do so, you know your life has become blessed.
Brat
*Edited to add this post is for the question relating to those on antidepresants used for mental illness. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:39:42 PM |
But with others depression or anxiety is a normal part of life and properly dealing with and recognizing those feelings is the key to getting through it.
Absolutely, most people know how to deal with everyday stresses.
The remaining number out there cannot function without them. It takes courage to ween off the medication. I think the only way to do so would be to clearly recognize the triggers that cause the anxiety and learn to re-direct the emotional responses. Easier said than done.
Would I date? I have. The issue at hand was due to traumatic experiences (post-traumatic stress disorder) Is it the reason why we are no longer together? no. When we were together, I believed deep inside she is strong enough to overcome her fears and learn to handle the triggers that caused panic attacks, I still do. It just takes time.
If I just met someone who disclosed the usage of anit-depressants, I would be more concerned that person is being responsible in taking them as directed. Knowing that the medication has long term drawbacks, hopefully, issues can be overcome and weening could begin eventually. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:51:37 AM |
Would I date? I have. The issue at hand was due to traumatic experiences (post-traumatic stress disorder) Is it the reason why we are no longer together? no. When we were together, I believed deep inside she is strong enough to overcome her fears and learn to handle the triggers that caused panic attacks, I still do. It just takes time.
Panic attacks.....used to have them all the time....got over them.....just had one for the first time in probably 3 years ago, just the other day....really surprised me.
I'm going back to school in Sept. and had just paid my tuition fees...went to Tim Horton's for a coffee, and sure enough....heart pounding, dizzy, sweating...the whole thing.
I just thought, wow, I must be more nervous about this than I thought.
Here's how I solved my panic attacks...ignore them...carry on with what you're doing....concentrate on it and don't even pay attention to the symptoms of the attack.
Here's how I see it...the attack is triggered...in my case by paying my tuition fees...my body starts to react...heart beats faster, I get a dizzy feeling, I start to sweat....
Here is the crucial part:
You now have two ways to go....react to the attack, or ignore the attack.
If you react to the attack, you are telling your brain, YES, we are in danger, send in the troops.....Did I need the troops in Tim Horton's....no....had I said yes, my brain would take it that non threatening situations are actually threatening, and try to send in the troops more often. The more you say yes to the troops, the more often they think you're in danger. In other words, you are training your brain to react to danger, when none is really present.
In Tim Horton's I said NO, and totally ignored the symptoms of the attack. By the time I sat down with my coffee, they were gone. The troops were called, but I told them that they weren't needed.
Don't get me wrong, this does take practice, but I was pretty determined, so it didn't take that long for me. It might not work the first time, but if you keep practicing, you will notice a difference.
And, just because you think you have them beat, doesn't mean it will never happen again...as in my case last week. I knew what caused it, (still works, if you don't know the trigger) I told it to go away, it went away, haven't had a problem since.
I hope this helps somebody.... | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:17:17 AM | This all sounds so good, but if you have to go to the ER with chest pains and can't breathe, and the doctor says that you are going through severe depression and anxiety attacks, you need to take the medication as he orders it. A person should not wake each morning and the first feeling they experience is a feeling of dispair. We have things that happen in our lives that are so traumatic that we often lapse back to a depression no matter how hard we have worked on it or how long it has been. Right now, I am going through a situation where I was emotionally abused by my exhusband for many years (that is the hardest abuse to put behind you, it stays deep inside for ever), I moved back to my home town to be near my children (also my exhusband and his new wife) and it started all over again. I moved away again, and miss being with my children and grandchildren. I now live near 2 of my sisters and am helping care for my mother who is in the endstages of a terrible disease and each day is likely to be her last. I have an illness called Lupus that I have had for a good many years and have done well until the last 3 years and I have had to stop working and I live on a meager income.
Some times the pressures do overwhelm me and I have found that with the medication, I am able to funtion better and do the things that I need to do. If the doctor prescribes it, take it as ordered and be sure to tell him of any adverse symptoms that you may have. Never put anyone down for taking A/D meds, you do not know what they are going through or have gone through. They are not insane , violent, they are attempting to overcome a sadness and stress in their lives and remarks from others are a put-down and add to their problems.
No one but my close family members, my doctor, and my pharmacist know what medication I take. That is my right to privacy. How do you know what meds anyone else takes before you start to date them? | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:29:01 AM | missdix..
Sorry, I should have stated that I take a/d's, and have for a number of years.
My anxiety would break right through the meds.
After a hundred or so attacks (easily), I realized that I wasn't going to die, or go crazy, or even pass out.....and I was sick of them....not afraid of them.
I found that getting rid of that one component of my problems, made a big difference in my stress level. But again, I was determined to get rid of them.
Good luck with your ongoing battles...my heart goes out to you. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:54:18 AM | | Nice to read other posts and find that the stigma is alive and well! I perceive taking anti-depressants the same as taking any other supplement. If you've an iron/folic acid/Vitamin D deficiency, I.B.S. or GERD that needs to be managed, migraines, hypertension, what-ever the malady. It's just a shame that others view depression as an incurable sickness for crazy, unstable people. Like with many other conditions, it can and only will be managed. Like sickle cell anemia, not sure there is a cure there. Colitis, diverticulitis, Crohn's, Lupus, etc., you name it. They all are conditions that have to be managed and more than likely will not be cured by a simple pill, at least not yet. Read up and educate yourselves people! Burning individuals at the stake b/c they are different than you went out a long time ago... Like using cyanide powder sprinkled on the matress to keep the bed bugs at bay. Nothing like poisoning yourself and loved ones to keep blood-suckers away. Step up!!! | |
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