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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:01:44 AM | Back to the original question...
I would. Only because I know how it feels.
I've been officially diagnosed with clinical depression, but the signs have been apparent since I was a child.
I think the biggest issue I have right now is dating someone who understands depression and doesn't see it as something I can just "get over."
Those words hurt me more than anything else. You can't just "get over" an issue with your neurons being able to properly reuptake your seratonin. As much as I would LOVE them to...they really don't want to.
I feel like some guys I have dated think I am using my issues as an excuse to be kinda off my rocker. It's pretty lame. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:16:12 AM | Artful Codger and Kittenshere,
I fully acknowledge that when administered or monitored improperly, antidepressants can be dangerous. As I described above, one antidepressant I took gave me panic attacks (which are scary as hell by the way). Also, I outlined how even a properly functioning antidepressant can increase risk of suicide simply by increasing the patient's energy level. However, if extended use of the medication cause a person to go downhill, I don't believe that it is the medication that failed; I believe that the administration of the medication failed. Also, I stongly believe that condemnation of antidepressants as a group because of how some of them may affect some individuals is at best irresponsible.
painter,
I think the only trouble with someone on antidepressants is they have a bit harder time in the sexy part....
Having tried several antidepressants, I've unfortunately encountered this side effect as well. Fortunately, there are things that can be prescribed (including a certain type of antidepressant) that can help with this. Also, there are a wide variety of antidepressants, and not all have this side effect. Also, with a touch of creativity and patience, it can be less of a problem. (Still very frustrating for both parties though.)
baisez_moi_svp,
I think the biggest issue I have right now is dating someone who understands depression and doesn't see it as something I can just "get over."
Those words hurt me more than anything else. You can't just "get over" an issue with your neurons being able to properly reuptake your seratonin. As much as I would LOVE them to...they really don't want to.
I couldn't possibly agree with you more on this. I actually can't find the words to express how strongly I agree with this.
If you ever make it down to California, look me up. We can pop SSRI's and make fun of drunks together.
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:02:32 AM | For starters: There are a lot of people who have stuck to this notion that there is "nothing wrong" with people who are depressed and taking antidepressants. I don't agree. I'm not saying that there's any sin involved with being depressed, and commend those people who do get help the same way that people with Acid Reflux go on Nexium or Asthmatics use pumps. The fact of the matter is that if clinical depression were truly a normality it would affect everyone on this planet and probably wouldn't have a term or treatment regimen associated to it. I think it probably comes from depression being vilified so drastically that the only way to get people to deal with it outside of the closet was to make it sound like it affects everyone. That having been said --
If I could avoid it I wouldn't date someone who took antidepressants because of the dependence someone's emotional state has on them. The ups and downs in relationships are difficult enough to deal with sans this other factor, which concerns me a bit as it comes across like a wild card. If I met someone who didn't carry themselves like she needed uppers or downers how would I know that she was taking them unless she told me anyway? By the time I found out it may be so far down the track that I'd be willing to deal with it during the journey anyway, and though some might find this deceptive and I don't know how I'd feel. I will admit that despite having experience with close family and friends who take them I have much to learn about depression and its treatment. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:28:51 AM | Hi plumpassion,
If you start to date anyone you like,you can't then start to dictate to them how they should live their lives,because they are now with you.
Anyone who is on anti-depressents has an illness that is being treated,which must be a much better situation than dating someone who is depressed,but isn't doing anything about it.
Anyone who has any kind of mental illness,is just someone like me or you, who is ill. To not date anyone because they are ill,beggars belief!! | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:09:53 AM | BelieveTheHype,
To be clear, I'm not trying to state that dating a depressive person on antidepressants is anything like dating somebody without the disease. Even with medication and treatment, we can have setbacks, relapses, or whatever. When I was married, I lost my job and my insurance and thought I could handle it without medication. The worst thing was that I didn't realize that it had gotten out of control until it was way too late.
People battling depression (or any other mental illness) can be very difficult to be in a relationship with. However, we can also be pretty awesome people when we're functioning well.
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:30:35 AM | I can't help but be amused by those who say things like " People with clinical depression can't be considered normal", or depressed people are less sexy. I guess this is misguided opninion.
Normal people have diseases. This does not make them abnormal. In fact depression is so prevalent these days and in the news because it is more understood and people have become more educated on the matter.
If a person becomes depressed situationally, (not talking about clinical here) it is a feeling they go through and YES, depression can be the motivator for change. They don't call it the dark night of the soul for nothing. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:22:10 AM | | RIGHT ON. When I meet a man, I disclose that I am on anti-depressants and have been for 22 years now. They ALWAYS say the same thing, "you don't act like it", LOL! Duh, cause I'm on anti-depressants! I use to be ashamed and hid it, however after doing extensive studying on it, and learning more about my family history, I realize it's not something I can help, and nothing to be ashamed of. The best part about find out about my 'now medically recognized'condition is understanding that it is typically inherited and helping one of my Son's through his diagnosis. I will tell you the same thing I told him, thank God there is medication for it the same as all other conditions. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:53:56 PM | Feminine Muse: If your last post was directed towards me, I am not saying that people with depression can't be considered as normal, just as people with other ailments, diseases or disabilities are afflicted but still normal. At the end of the day, misguided or not, this is nothing more than a play on words. Your take -- Normal = Normal. Normal with a disease = Normal. Compliments of Dictionary.com for DISEASE
1. a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.
2. anyabnormal condition in a plant that interferes with its vital physiological processes, caused by pathogenic microorganisms, parasites, unfavorable environmental, genetic, or nutritional factors, etc.
.....
The play on words is that saying someone who has an abnormality (i.e. imbalance in Serotonin levels, for example) is not normal. I'm not saying that. I just don't think that depression should be obscured and downplayed in relationship building in the same way that a smoking habit might be for example. This is why I don't agree with the notion that someone can say "I'm just like everyone else, and I take antidepressants." Something is different about someone who is taking them, particularly the need to take them to maintain a certain level. If I am factually wrong about the previous statement please set this misguided soul straight. Different doesn't equal bad but it does equal different, and just as I chose to deal with someone who doesn't smoke I'd probably look the other way with respect to someone who was taking antidepressants. Looking at family and friends, people with depression can be just as spectacular as someone without. I completely agree with MalibuSteve about people with depression potentially being pretty awesome to this end. On the same note, there are plus sized women who are awesome that others might overlook -- its a preference thing not someone avoiding a depressed person due to them being infected with the plague, so to speak. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:09:13 PM | | ^^^^^^^ My brain does not manufacture correct levels of certain chemicals, much like a diabetic can't produce the correct amount of insulin, or someone with a thyroid condition doesn't produce the right chemical levels. So, abnormal in the fact that my body doesn't produce chemicals the same as yours would be correct but, again, you wouldn't know that on meeting me and it's not something I would normally bring up lest I be percieved like some people I know complaining and telling the world about every little health condition they experience. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:57:42 PM | Hi! I wanted to reply to this post..
I Definately believe that you should be open and honest about taking meds with your partner. How would they feel if you didnt tell them if they found out by accident? It is serious ... and more serious to others.. and if they can't handle it.. then so be it. and they weren't meant for you. But to be in a healthy relationship.. you have to be honest. I don't think it is the kind of thing you should hide from someone you are seeing.. They have to accept you for who you are.. period!
April | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:38:42 PM | | I think it all depends on the context. If anti-depressants are intended to cope with depression that could be mitigated by life-altering behavior, then no. However, anti-depressants for congenital conditions, temporary shock, or abiding trauma are different. In other words, I am far more concerned with a person's attitute towards therapy than the****ail prescribed to them. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:40:33 PM | I have an extremely low opinion of people who have to take the "happy pills". To me, it's a cop-out. Yeah, yeah, people got their issues, but stand in line, that' s the bleedin' way it is. Who doesn't have their issues?! Life in general is hard and tough, no one said it was going to be easy, but the bottom line is, folks, it's you're one chance to shine. To me, life is a gift, not to sound all religious or whatever, but I myself, intend to make the best of whatever this strange torpedo called existence or life throws at me.
I've seen things that would make normal people want to gouge out their own eyeballs...but I think like this....and I will quote Fight Club..."I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
So simple, so true. I want life to give me its best shot, b/c I know for a fact that I can take it. You can spill my guts, and I'd eat them and ask for seconds, b/c that's the way I roll.
Am I a junkie for pain? No, not really, but is there a morbid thought process that goes along with the idea of just exactly how much I can take and still stand? Well, I must most assuredly answer yes!
I feel like since everything that has been thrown at me, there's very little or nothing that can affect me, or put me down. Do I have my own low points, my slumps, if you will? Well yes, most assuredly so, however, I tell myself, that based on past experience and random insanity that I Will Not Allow Anything To Put Me Down. I have my "moments" and I say to myself to stop being a wuss and move forward, b/c bottom line is, that's all we CAN do in this life. I'm sure as hell not going to allow anybody or anything to bring me low. I will fight past it, and move on, and survive.
I've seen my fair share of 3rd world countries, and believe me folks, the U.S.A is not that bad, nor whatever emotional strangeness you run into. Nothing you may be dealing with at this point is any excuse to give up.
Granted, some people do indeed have some sort of chemical distortion that requires the use of the aforementioned "happy pills". Whatever....
Not everyone needs that pill to make them "normal". A lot of times, people through their own weakness, self-loathing, or just the simple fact they want to blame someone /something else for their own weirdness, believe they need this thing in order to survive. And to me, that's sad.
I've known guys who've been to war, and seen some things that'd make your hair turn white, but they still handle it. They live amongst you now, and a lot of times, you'd never even know what exactly they had seen. You know why, b/c they're stronger mentally and emotionally, and they don't feel the need to prove a point by talking about whatever medication, or what they've seen to substantiate and justify their actions. They live like normal people, and they move on, and live their lives...
I guess the bottom line is people, is that there's a lot more going on out there that people deal with day in and day out that will make whatever pitiful hang-ups you may have seem stupid.
Think about what's really going on in the world. See things a little bit further than just right in front of your face, and think about if it's really that bad. You may be surprised...
-Undercross | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:13:16 PM | Undercross said:
Granted, some people do indeed have some sort of chemical distortion that requires the use of the aforementioned "happy pills". Whatever....
Not everyone needs that pill to make them "normal". A lot of times, people through their own weakness, self-loathing, or just the simple fact they want to blame someone /something else for their own weirdness, believe they need this thing in order to survive. And to me, that's sad.
I've known guys who've been to war, and seen some things that'd make your hair turn white, but they still handle it. They live amongst you now, and a lot of times, you'd never even know what exactly they had seen. You know why, b/c they're stronger mentally and emotionally, and they don't feel the need to prove a point by talking about whatever medication, or what they've seen to substantiate and justify their actions.
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I agree. I'm on antidepressants and will likely be the rest of my life. This doesn't need to be 'my story' but I'll give the synoptic. I take an antidepressant that measures chemicals in my body and you can scientifically see what levels make me the most 'normal' and stable and what levels are dangerous. I don't have to rely on elusive 'feelings' that may change from day to day, I can show you on a chart here are these levels and here is where I was at depression-wise.
For the truly chemically deficient, anti-depressants can be a pretty close to exacting science if you insist on monitoring, questioning, and evaluating on a regular basis. God knows I don't want to take one more thing than necessary.
I agree that some people can handle anything, others can handle nothing. I've got no reason to that because there are so many factors. Some people really are more inclined to be whiners than others. I was the 'strong silent' who broke down in front of a flatscreen TV one Christmas because I couldnt' afford to buy the $8,000 gift for a loved one and I know something was VERY wrong then.
Things get better, and through medication or other resources some will fight to get better and some just want sympathy. That's true whether or not you are on any kind of medication.
Would *I* date someone on antidepressants? I don't know. I'd have to know they were a strong person, and you can be on 'pills'. If their life is well managed and they happen to have this chemical deficiency, ok. If they're bouncing to doctors like bunnies on acid and nothing's helping, I wouldn't touch it with a 50 foot pole - and they shouldn't be dating in that case anyway. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:14:22 PM | | Hey I was flipping through and I noticed someone said people on antidepressants have problems with the 'sexy' thing'. LOL Ah, maybe too much info but in my case. . . .not a problem at ALLLlllll. LOL | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:33:04 PM | Undercross...
I have an extremely low opinion of people who have to take the "happy pills". To me, it's a cop-out. Yeah, yeah, people got their issues, but stand in line, that' s the bleedin' way it is. Who doesn't have their issues?! Life in general is hard and tough, no one said it was going to be easy, but the bottom line is, folks, it's you're one chance to shine. To me, life is a gift, not to sound all religious or whatever, but I myself, intend to make the best of whatever this strange torpedo called existence or life throws at me.
Read my profile and tell me I don't think life is a gift, or that I do not make the best of my torpedo.
And as far as happy pills go? Those that take them sadly are the only ones who seem to understand that this does not make you somehow HIGH. It evens you out. I don't take an Effexor and run down the hall shouting "WEEEEEEEEE!" It keeps the chemicals in line. And perhaps I should clarify by saying, when I mentioned situational and chemical depression, mine is quite honestly both. As I am on different hormone blockers at different times to keep the cancer at bay. So my situation is living with incurable, metastatic cancer (breast, lung, liver, spine, lymph nodes, sternum). But my medication causes the chemical reaction. I am able to function because that level is regulated. If I had allowed myself to get down too far, I could have easily given up after 8 years. But I take it upon myself to stay as positive as possible. I have a strong sense of responsibility in that.
It troubles me greatly to hear them called "happy pills". This is the "just get over it" mindset that perpetuates outdated concepts of our brain as an organ. Your thoughts come from an organ that can malfunction. If you took one of these pills you wouldn't immediately get "happy" and you might have a sexual issue to boot. How can you not respect someone willing to make that sacrifice to walk in the sunlight.
Perhaps I have fed the troll here, but if someone else is lurking, watching and I can help adjust their mindset. You may very well say "quit your ****in" but we can say the same about those who **** about us. At least we aren't in this case criticising what we don't understand. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:03:41 AM |
I have an extremely low opinion of people who have to take the "happy pills".
I have an extremely low opinion of people who judge others based of ignorance.
While I'm so impressed that you know people who have seen awful things and managed to cope (actually, I'm not, but I was attempting to be polite), that in no way invalidates those whose bodies don't allow them to cope with lesser things.
There are people who smoke heavily and never get cancer. You may even know some of them. Do you have a low opinion of those who use chemo or radiation therapy?
As I mentioned before, my body properly regulates insulin. Should I have a low opinion of those who use insulin injections?
I have crossed the street thousands of times without getting hit by a car. Should I look down on those who were less fortunate and now use wheelchairs?
Having a low opinion of others for receiving proper medical attention for a health issue really illustrates how little you understand about it. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:01:04 AM | I have an extremely low opinion of people who have to take the "happy pills". To me, it's a cop-out. Yeah, yeah, people got their issues, but stand in line, that' s the bleedin' way it is. Who doesn't have their issues?! Life in general is hard and tough, no one said it was going to be easy, but the bottom line is, folks, it's you're one chance to shine. To me, life is a gift, not to sound all religious or whatever, but I myself, intend to make the best of whatever this strange torpedo called existence or life throws at me.
I've seen things that would make normal people want to gouge out their own eyeballs...but I think like this....and I will quote Fight Club..."I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
So simple, so true. I want life to give me its best shot, b/c I know for a fact that I can take it. You can spill my guts, and I'd eat them and ask for seconds, b/c that's the way I roll.
Am I a junkie for pain? No, not really, but is there a morbid thought process that goes along with the idea of just exactly how much I can take and still stand? Well, I must most assuredly answer yes!
I feel like since everything that has been thrown at me, there's very little or nothing that can affect me, or put me down. Do I have my own low points, my slumps, if you will? Well yes, most assuredly so, however, I tell myself, that based on past experience and random insanity that I Will Not Allow Anything To Put Me Down. I have my "moments" and I say to myself to stop being a wuss and move forward, b/c bottom line is, that's all we CAN do in this life. I'm sure as hell not going to allow anybody or anything to bring me low. I will fight past it, and move on, and survive.
I've seen my fair share of 3rd world countries, and believe me folks, the U.S.A is not that bad, nor whatever emotional strangeness you run into. Nothing you may be dealing with at this point is any excuse to give up.
Granted, some people do indeed have some sort of chemical distortion that requires the use of the aforementioned "happy pills". Whatever....
Not everyone needs that pill to make them "normal". A lot of times, people through their own weakness, self-loathing, or just the simple fact they want to blame someone /something else for their own weirdness, believe they need this thing in order to survive. And to me, that's sad.
I've known guys who've been to war, and seen some things that'd make your hair turn white, but they still handle it. They live amongst you now, and a lot of times, you'd never even know what exactly they had seen. You know why, b/c they're stronger mentally and emotionally, and they don't feel the need to prove a point by talking about whatever medication, or what they've seen to substantiate and justify their actions. They live like normal people, and they move on, and live their lives...
I guess the bottom line is people, is that there's a lot more going on out there that people deal with day in and day out that will make whatever pitiful hang-ups you may have seem stupid.
Think about what's really going on in the world. See things a little bit further than just right in front of your face, and think about if it's really that bad. You may be surprised...
I know people on antideps for life, some are transient when you have a loss of a close family member or tragedy its hard to come to grips with it, some really never get over it.
I agree with some of your points like "Yeah, yeah, people got their issues, but stand in line, that' s the bleedin' way it is. Who doesn't have their issues?! Life in general is hard and tough, no one said it was going to be easy, but the bottom line is, folks, it's you're one chance to shine. " but disagree with many especially your stance on them in general as being pointless etc etc... they are needed to get people to an activation energy for day to day activity, without them people would just waste away in inaction. Its getting to that hump that the medications can help. I agree many abuse them, I also do not agree with most doctors who put people on medication for their entire life, the easiest way to get over your psychological issues is tie them to things you enjoy. Often the best medication is just being happy doing something you enjoy.
To each his own I will never diss anyone for taking anti depressants ... they work and have saved countless lives many abuse them granted.. but the benefits out weigh the consequences. As far as dating someone on anti depressants I would be Leary myself ( not to sound hypocritical) but as long as they are not schizophrenic you don't have too much to worry about (laughs) most people on antidepressants act "normal" if that is a word on their medication. Thats the case in point why they are on medication to get on with their lives. targeting someone for this anti-depressants is a form of discrimination, like race, color, creed and its not justifiable.
If you hate people on anti-depressants maybe you hate black people or Hispanics or white people maybe you just hate yourself and are a miserable person anyway. Point is unless their "psychological issues" are beyond control and visible never judge a book by its cover.
Everyone deserves a date or friendship and the right to be happy .. to each his or her own.
Don't disown your chances of meeting a wonderful person by sheer notice they have a prescription of Wellbutrin, Lithum, Zoloft, and the list is endless....
Been there done that moved on..
Count your blessings that you arnt in their situation but give them a hug when you see them around..
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:08:39 AM | I'm mostly against antidepressants myself. It seems to be a trend in recent times to take a pill and cover up the issues. I believe that very few people honestly need them. In most cases, there are healthier, more productive ways to work through depression.
Still, they are a bit of a fad. It seems like the majority of people take them, so it's hardly a sign that people are instable.
But then again, my husband had a slew of anti-anxiety medications and a prescription for medical marijuana (California) when I met him. When he started blaming me for all of his problems, the multiple bottles of Ativan, etc. made it obvious that the problems started long before I arrived!
So, I don't think taking mood medications is a problem in itself, but you definitely need to consider the overall situation. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:26:53 AM | | I would definitely date someone on antidepressants. Obviously if they are on them there is a reason for it. I also would rather date someone who is on them because they have realized that they need to be on them instead of self medicating themselves with other substances such as weed and alcohol, which most people do because they won't admit to having a problem that needs to be taken care of. That is only masking the problem temporately and can also cause long term effects on themselves and the people around them. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:16:14 AM | Hazeldreaming....
Good luck with your fight....you are an inspiration
Undercross
You are very young, my friend, and haven't experienced all of life yet. I know a Vet who was in Mogadishu...came home and was fine. One night one of his friends, who was very depressed, pulled out a gun, put it in his own mouth, and shot brain matter all over my friend. My friend now suffers from PTSD....don't think you are "immune"....you may be on "happy pills" yourself one day. Unless you care to deal with your depression in a different way.....like my friend's buddy.....
I have successfully put my depression into "remission". I will never be cured of it. It runs on both sides of my family. My father committed suicide when I was 18, and a cousin on my Mother's side committed suicide three years ago....he was 14.
My Doctors take these suicides very seriously...strangely enough, they're more worried about the cousin, than my Dad. That's because it's showing that it's carrying on through younger generations.
Am I on anti-depressants....you betcha....am I depressed...nope, not at all. I have done so much work on negative thinking patterns, that I'm the most optimistic person I know.
I take a very tiny dose of Effexor...I have no problems thinking....if I'm "happy" it has nothing to do with the pills, I've been on them forever....I have no sexual side effects whatsoever....no side effects at all at this point...I did years ago.
Will I stop taking them....nope....I have been STRONGLY advised by numerous Doctors to not "rock the boat".....it wouldn't serve any useful purpose, and could cause BIG problems for me.
I can live with being on them for life....I don't need to be a "hero" and "kick the habit"...... | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:20:46 AM | | My first thought to your question, 'what a stupid question'...now dont take me wrong, maybe its where your from or you dont know a lot of people who have a mental health problem (lucky you)...its quite a common medical problem (where i live anyways)...large ad. campaign etc...However, to answer your question, just because someone is on antidepressants doesnt mean that theyre 'weird' or 'unusual'...just means they need help with their coping abilities...just my 2 cent worth... | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:56:26 AM | | Undercross - do you also believe that people with high blood pressure shouldn't take their meds or that diabetics should not take their insulin. Many people that take anti-depressants do so because of a chemical imbalance that the drugs treat. Your lack of knowledge regarding mental health issues is evident in your post. These are not sad people that need a pill to make them happy but people that have a medical condition that is treatable. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:03:26 PM | 'Would you date someone on antidepressants?'
hell, honey - I've dated on a bucket of Absolut & 6 pints lager.
Reckon I could handle a couple of happy pills. Especially if the date's a minger. | |
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| Would you date someone on antidepressants?
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:50:53 PM | Now FA that is an excellent question!!!!
All of our challenges need a little "soothing" in way or another...
(The mental imagery and bad days that you just made me think of are enough to send me into emotional distress. Anyone on high dose pain meds can I get a witness?) | |
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