| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:29:54 AM | I don't think that having/obtaining a PhD is boastful. There are certain people who are boastful - with or without PhDs.
I am currently working towards a PhD, but it's not on my profile. And I also don't expect anyone I date to be as formally educated as I am. I'm not doing it because I think I'm better than anyone. I just really like school, and I really love what I am studying. Not everyone is the same, and I think that's great. I like talking about what I am studying, but I also like talking about a lot of other things. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:38:37 AM | | This much I know: most men with doctorate degrees would prefer to date an educational peer, but it's not a make a break issue --- believe it or not, they'll still go for looks over education. (Unbelieveable, eh? LOL) Well-educated women, on the other hand, tend to be much fussier regarding a potential mate's education. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:01:56 AM | i think there are people who are boastful about degrees, and those that aren't......just as there are people that boast about other things they consider to be important
getting a PhD (or and MD, or a JD, or any advanced degree) takes years or hard work; i respect that......however, having an advanced degree does not automatically make you a good person or a "great catch"
i went on a date with a PhD last week who proceeded to, shall we say, "pleasure himself" in a movie when i refused to do so.............a fluke, perhaps......will i assume other PhDs would do the same, no.........my point is one's education does not automatically mean they are great people
i think relationships probably tend to work better over the long run when the intelligence level of the two people involved are in fairly close proximity to one another...........a person can be extremely intelligent without necessarily having lots of formal education, and a person with 3 PhDs may have no social skills or common sense (ie my Pee Wee Herman experience above)
i think education and intelligence are often INCORRECTLY interchanged.....they are not the same
i think if i found someone to be a braggart about anything, education or otherwise, that would be a huge turn-off for me
as always, jmho | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:44:30 AM | "Well-educated women, on the other hand, tend to be much fussier regarding a potential mate's education. "
This is very true in my case. Being with an educated man is important to me, because of the way I speak. Now I lam an autodidact and enjoy other ones too. I have gone out with guys who said I was a walking encyclopedia and they could not keep up with my references. The just asked me out based on looks, never thinking about my interests. I also cannot be with someone who is no curious about the world and knowledge.
I need a lot of mental stimulation. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:09:17 PM | Did you know that Blossom(from the show Blossom back in the day) has her PHD?!
Crazy.
Sad how you always hear about the child stars who screwed up their lives, but never the ones like her who made something with their lives.
I would be proud of having or nearly getting my PHD. I would post that as well. It would probably help weed out the idiots who didn't even have their high school diploma. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:04:25 PM | This is very true in my case. Being with an educated man is important to me, because of the way I speak.
I never confuse being educated with having gone to school. One sign of education is the ability to meet people on their level, recognize intelligence where it exists even if the person's talents are things with which you are unfamiliar and do not require formal university schooling as a prerequisite. If you can't fix your car, then you could learn a great deal from a top notch mechanic if you cared to learn from someone else. ANYBODY can deal with someone who caters to his or her narrow range of interests. That is not being educated no matter how many years one goes to school with the intent of forgetting how much there is to know outside one's narrow field of expertise.
Education is about having a large vocabulary in order to be understood better in a variety of circumstances, not because it enables you to talk in hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian sentences that narrows your audience.
I also cannot be with someone who is no curious about the world and knowledge.
You say that, yet you expect someone to be curious about some particular idiosyncrisy of yours. Have you considered how much more you could learn by being curious enough to keep up with others whose knowledge differs from yours? Let's make this more concrete. I'm a physicist and I enjoy talking to people who know a lot about things like relativistic quantum field theory, general relativity, particle physics and so on.
Believe me, one can easily make references to the mathematical and physics terminology in a social context in a way that another mathematician or physicist would find hysterically funny while being completely lost on everyone else.
Can I expect you to be curious enough to keep up with me on those things or should I realize the obvious - that those things are simply not the kinds of things the average person gives a sh*t about and utilize my supposedly fantastic education to talk about and find interesting, things others want to talk about? Reality has taught me the latter approach has more going for it if I expect to talk to very many people. I pride myself on being able to talk to anyone about anything at any level, not being unapproachable because I know a lot about one thing. I'm also very uninterested in people who can't step outside of their own limitations, no matter how much they know about that one thing.
You might very well think you're cirious about those things, but so far, no one who has ever told me that has been curious enough to get past the comic book explanations, so I'd be inclined to doubt you. Either that, or you have two different standards for what it means to ``keep up.''
On the other hand, the most valuable thing I got from my education was the ability to recognize all of the opportunities I have to learn something different from people who know something I don't, not become disappointed by how few people have an interest in hearing me wax eloquent on the beauty of gauge theories ( and anyone who knows what I just said knows why I might be inclined to do that :)
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776877
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Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 81 | |
| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:58:59 PM | Although I don't know 'hundreds' of Phd holders the ones I do know are nothing more than professional students that sucked from the family teat for several years.....and in the end never managed to get a job even close to their field of study.
I couldn't care less if a woman/man has a phd, Bsc/DVD, its clear though that those people who have degrees really do care so just avoid them as you'll always have to grovel to their 'superior' intellect. | |
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DanXS
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Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 82 | |
| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:46:21 PM | | Personally I find that doing a PhD is a turn off for women, it says you talk too much about stuff nobody is interested in and you have no social skills cos you just wonder around on your own like a looser etc. Most PhD students I know are either already married or are lonely as hell and probably never get the company of the opposite sex at all. I come into the second category there myself sadly. But anyway, sorry this was ask a girl. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 5:50:35 PM | So if you think not having a Ph.d or not going to college means someone is an idiot Not at all. In my opinion, a lot depends on what a doctoral degree is in and the awarding institution. I've worked with Harvard professors who were terrible writers, narrow minded and totally lacking in common sense.
Furthermore, as a former ESL/GED teacher for 6 years, I taught students whose IQ's were no doubt higher than mine and my PhD friends/colleagues. (2 happily married to spouses with lesser degrees, BTW.)
OP, some of my ESL/GED students were extraordinary writers, artists and problem solvers who had to drop out of school, flee their countries or (in 2 cases that I recall) dropped out due to sheer boredom. Think of them as idiots? Not for a second! | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:04:21 PM | You know, I think I'm okay with girls/guys with that expectation - even if that cuts me out lol (since im a late bloomer as far as education goes).
It's not always going to be a superficail reason - it might seem unfair, but thats life - they have dedicated alot of time and effort into it...more then anything else - I can imagine some simply want to find another that "can" be that dedicated - either to his/her education - or another person, its interchangable...jsut easier to prove as a ph.d heh...
to surmize,, They seek a sign of responsibility and dedication above and beyond words. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 8:31:31 PM | Perhaps after all that education and years of learning,t hey want someone who match them in that level. Nothing wrong with seeing someone who has as much ambition as they do, but I do agree that they shouldn't judge others if their levels of ambitions isn't the same. It's their loss if they let someone go who may be great but not have what they prefer, but to each their own.
And because someone dosen't have a phd they don't have high levels of ambition.
Just because im not a scientist doesn't mean I don't love science. I actually buy copies of scientific Americian monthly and enjoy reading them. I even enjoy reading about psychology and other things. Just because I don't have a phd dosen't mean I don't have the ambition to learn about science. A phd or diploma can even be just a certificate that proves a persons level of education. It dosen't mean someone else isn't comparable.
Im not saying im at the phd level. Though I have met educated people that are shocked by the things I know and sometimes I even outdo some people who are educated.
My circumstances aren't yours just like my ambitions aren't. There are things that happen in life that lead to where you go in life. I know quite a few people that wanted to be teachers but aren't now. Just like im not exactly doing what I thought I would. It dosen't mean I don't have a thirst for knowledge and self improvement. But everyone has to work with the situation they currently are in.
For example, I have my G2 but do not drive. I need to do a few more classes but when I was working at night and due to lack of sleep. I had to ignore that necessity for quite a while and hold on it until I had better hours and feel ready to focus on that need.
So we can't say that people don't have ambitions just because they don't have a phd or any other thing. Maybe their ambitions and circumstances are differed in variety. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:37:48 PM | I live in a college town and do not have a Ph.D. but know many who do. Frankly, as a whole I find this group to be the least snooty and much more prone to modesty.
I don't see any reason not to indicate advanced education. If the person wants the same, that's their prerogative. I wouldn't take offense to it or generalize. | |
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DanXS
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Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 87 | |
| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/10/2008 10:16:37 AM |
So we can't say that people don't have ambitions just because they don't have a phd
I completely agree, it is not so much if someone has a phd or not, it is more if they are into things in general. Someone doing a phd isn't in general just doing it to get a phd, they are doing it because they are following their interests which happen to lead them into doing a phd. In the same way an artist will continue to paint because it is what he likes and what he considers himself to be talented at.
Like anything, the only way people get good at things is by practice. But practice and ability is not limited to doing a phd. In fact I would say that if you are doing anything for any motive that isn't related to interest in the subject then you are probably not going to be successful at it. It is like wanting to be famous but not having ever tried to act or sing or be a comedian or anything. These things are not handed out, they are earned through hard work and a passion for something. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:52:12 PM | Well, Alben, when I discuss Picasso's art or Socratic dialogue, I hate to see the clouds roll over his eyes. I do think it is nice to be around someone who is curious about my interests and visa versa.
Your post pretty much proved my point. | |
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