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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:53:01 PM | huh. that is weird. i would never make a belief in god a prerequisite for a relationship. i mean, don't get me wrong, men who are religious in some sense seem to be more courteous and less fickle then men that are not, but i am like you... i don't go to church and would hate to have to just to have a reltionship! lol! i am all for a secular morality, but to each his/her own...
lara | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:02:43 PM | I believe there are more spiritual women than men. There's a difference between loving God and fearing God. I am one who believes in God. Not a Christian God, Hindu God, Muslim God, Jewish God, etc. I just believe in God. Does my partner have to believe in God? Hmmm, I would hope the lady I'm with would understand there's more to the universe than just what we see. Not something that controls our destiny or anything. Just something deeper. There's a differance between being religious and being spiritual. I think women in general are more spiritual than men.
That's just MHO | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:09:39 PM | This is the same thing I felt I was running into in men. It seems like there are a ton of men out there who have to make this big thing out of religion. What I find interesting is the fact that these people will still message me, although I am open with the fact that I am "non-religous." Do they think they're going to be able to convert me into believing their views of the world?
Personally, I am a very spiritual person. Although not extremely religious, I still live my life by certain standards and morals. I don't need religion to show me how to be a good person.
Another reason I find this topic interesting is because I moved somewhat recently from where I grew up in a very liberal city to small-town BFE, which is much more conservative. I have been struck by the large amounts of seemingly-normal people who turn out to be ultra-religious freaks who spout off about fire and brimstone at the smallest encouragement.
I guess it's all about the kind of lifestyle you lead and I would rather learn ahead of time that someone has some crazy, elitist ideas about religion than to be weirded out by it later on.
(note: I don't mean to offend anyone, but think I have the right to believe in what I want and am sick of the "I'm the best one" attitude about religions found in the dating world). | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:13:33 PM | Roses, your profile is a huge turn-off. It consists entirely of requirements for your date, and nothing about you other than the fact that you're Christian- which makes you look amazingly shallow.
Why on earth would any woman be interested? | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:13:44 PM | Question for you, dear OP. If you are nonreligious, why do you have Christian other listed at the top of your profile. My understanding of "Christian other "is that it gives someone who does not belong to one of the more commonly known denominations a place to indicate that they are Christians.
In response to your original question: My reason for being so specific re my choices in who I would like to date stems from my very recent dating experience. A man who is a nonChristian would not be suitable dating/longterm relationship "material" for me. At the same time, a man who wears his faith like a badge, without following what he is taught at church or through reading his Bible, will not be good dating material for me either. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:18:48 PM |
1) Whats up with the incresing number of females seeking "Godly" men lately?
2) Why are you looking for someone who's super religious but at the same time showing the world what a wildchild you are?
3) How many men see the mention of God in a profile and immediately move on, as I do?
4) Why is it so important to anyone of any faith that someone theyre dating believes along the same lines as you so strictly?
OP, how do you know the number is increasing? Maybe you're just viewing more of those profiles than you have previously. I don't believe in God and when I see anything about God or religion in a man's profile, I move on. Problem solved. It doesn't make a huge difference to me if a man has different beliefs, but if he is way down at the other end of the spectrum, I doubt we'd be compatible. And as a previous poster said, I don't need religion to teach me how to be a good person. So why do you care if these women believe in God and want a partner who shares in that? You want a partner who shares in some of your beliefs too, no? If something in their profile turns you off, just move on.
People get to pick who they want to date, you do and the women whose profiles you view do. To each their own, live and let live. As long as they're not hurting anyone, who cares? | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:21:20 PM | Just to clear up a question a few have asked...I say "Christian-Other" in my profile because its simply the best match they gave me to work with. I prefer the label "Spiritual, Not Religious", but POF doesnt have that label. And to simply say Im "Non-Religious" gives the impression Im an athiest, which is also not accurate.
My beliefs in God & things beyond this realm are very different from nearly every organized religion in existence. But since I was raised Catholic, I still hold a few of the basic Christian ideals I was taught (IE---Christmas is Jesus' birthday, etc). I havent been to a church of any kind in nearly a decade, though, and have no desire to. My beliefs are just that...mine...and Ive no desire to push them upon others. Being Christian, to me, simply means believing in Christ...and so in that respect I do consider myself a Christian.
Its just frustrating because I cant tell you how many intriguing profiles Ive clicked-on, and somewhere along the way there's this "Must be a God-Fearing Man" requirement. Well I dont FEAR God. I believe in him, but I dont believe in the whole fire & brimstone idea that He's watching our every move & is gonna send us to Hell if we dont follow the word. Thats just as much hogwash as saying the war in Iraq was over 5 years ago. lol!
I understand wanting to have things in common with one another. I guess I just dont understand why religion is being used as a filter. Maybe its because I live in the rural midwest where a lot of "Red" voters live, I dont know. (With the exception of Chicagoland, IL is very conservative). I just feel that to discount a person based solely on a difference of religious beliefs is being petty. Surely each person in a relationship can practice their own beliefs and come to a compromise on things such as children. I know a couple where the wife is Jewish and the husband is Lutheran & theyve never had a problem. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:33:41 PM | Hi hopeful... not trying to stand on a soapbox here.. but to fear God does not mean to be afraid of Him, but rather to be in awe of Him, to worship Him.
I appreciate your explanation of your use of the "Christian other" designation.
For me, even though I came to faith very late in life... 15 years ago, it is important to me to be with a man who shares my values. Therefore, for me, Christian other - or at least some Christian affiliation, will keep my attention long enough to read further in a man's profile. I have made several friends on POF who hold no particular religious affiliation, but do have merit - and value - for me as friends.
I too have seen relationships flourish where each member had a strong faith, but not the same faith as their spouse. Where there is more likely to be difficulty and lack of staying power is a relationship where one person has a strong faith while the other considers that faith to be "utter cr*p." Sorry for being blunt, but didn't know any other way of expressing what I was thinking. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:46:55 PM | lol...isnt that what the forums are for? Standing on soapboxes?
Please dont misunderstand my original question. I believe there's room in the world for every faith, every belief, and every interpretation. Im not trying to nit-pick or start any kind of religion flame war. Its just so frustrating because, in my POF searches, some of the best-looking, most intelligent, and charismatic women Ive seen are off-limits to me because of that religion filter. Makes me think that church is where all the great catches really are!  | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:17:08 PM | Well... I just roll my eyes up in the back of my head & say " too late B--ch,.. he's MINE!" (in my best "The Exorcist" voice  ) Usually works.. Though I HAVE had some throw themselves apon me and say "OOOOooooOOOoH Lucifer,.. I've been waiting for you!!" so.. it's a 50/50 proposition there... ( but, I MUST say,.. those Bad girls DO get VERY bad!!.. hey,.. I AM a demon, after all)   | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:22:50 PM | | ...because many people have no love for themselves and must believe in the delusion that somthing has our fates and destinies planned out rather than things happening at random and by chance. How can I love something I do not think exists? I grew up 1st baptist and then after years of "finding myself", I discovered modern science. i found my natural need for skepitcism was satiated and my lust for learning also satiatied. I do not question others faiths as cynically as I judged myself believeing in what I bnow concider clap trap at best. I have no problem with someone who embraces their faith so as long as they do not try and force it upon me. I do not try to change you, do not try and change me, please? | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:24:18 PM | Well, in my experience, and from studies that are out there...........and realizing that NOTHING is full proof:
Married couples who have some form of spirituality together, practice it, and make it an every day part of their lives DO have a better percentage of staying together than those who don't.
Personally, I don't think it's possible for me now to date or consider a long term relationship leading to marriage with a woman unless we have a common interest to practice some sort of 'faith' in our daily lives together.
I'm not willing to go into any long details as to why. All I know is, it's better to have a central and common belief together in something greater than ourselves, than it ever would be to value or covet the 'earthly' things that are constantly tearing couples apart from their own selfishness. With the divorce rate as high as it is, it's clearly showing that we as humans have done a terrible job of assuming WE have the answers in keeping a relationship together. And it's always amazing to see people who say they don't believe in God or disavow the possible importance of having a 'God centered' relationship always bouncing from relationship to relationship, never knowing why they can't keep one.
It's just my belief that if you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got...... So why not try something different?? Maybe somebody up there had the answer all along..... | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:33:59 PM |
Its just frustrating because I cant tell you how many intriguing profiles Ive clicked-on, and somewhere along the way there's this "Must be a God-Fearing Man" requirement. Well I dont FEAR God. I believe in him, but I dont believe in the whole fire & brimstone idea that He's watching our every move & is gonna send us to Hell if we dont follow the word.
You really don't understand the use of the word 'fear' here, do you? Because, unless someone is using it differently, it's used to mean respect. Not being afraid...
I've heard the fearing thing as long as I can remember and it's always been made clear that it's respect, not being afraid. Big difference. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:34:30 PM | OP depending exactly the wording on some of the profiles you may have read. Here is my two cents on the mixed signals of the profile vs the photo. The photo is meant to catch your attention (worked), the God reference you need to take with a grain of salt. The code means: a clean living woman looking for a clean responsible man. By throwing in the code, the writers are hoping they won't be viewed as bar room tramps and be treated like human beings and respectfully treated as marriageable women.
So I would suggest looking again. The code can also mean, they've been through hell and would like to walk in some nicer pastures now. So as with all things regarding female communication, read between the lines, it is meant to put of the hoboes and the ferals. A clean living man, would have nothing to fear and everything to be saying relieved thankyous for. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:41:06 PM |
Certain women are hypocrites.
No one said Christians were perfect. 
Whats up with the incresing number of females seeking "Godly" men lately?
YOu say that as if that's a bad thing. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:04:18 PM | ^^^^ for some of us it is a bad thing, okeedokee444 . ..
not all of us are christians or even have fsith. Before you critisize and spare me the "I'll pray for you" and "god help ypu", There are some bad hypocrites out there that make people leave the church. Not to get off topic, but most of the wars that have been fought have been over religeons. People wanting to make everyone see the world their way and their way only.i like to be with someone more centered and definatly not pushy and judgemental. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:14:49 PM |
not all of us are christians or even have fsith. Before you critisize and spare me the "I'll pray for you" and "god help ypu"
Nah, I'm Catholic.....that's the Southern Baptists that do that. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:20:40 PM | | ^^^^LMAO...My point is that faith is not the be all end all for me. it is not a priority in ewhome I date. i would prefer to meet someone like minded, but I am willing to date someone who acepts me for me ans wont change me ( especially to their religeon). | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:20:47 PM | It just means that they want someone who shares the same religious beliefs as they do. You have to have all of the important things in common or your relationship is doomed to failure. Love does not save the day or conquer all and once those rose colored glasses of new love come off it's your differences that will pull you apart.
You would do well op to find a woman who shares your beliefs instead of trying to force a fit with someone who you are not compatible with. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:28:58 PM | Oh hunny you just gotta look hard for those crazy athiests I dont know what is up with the worlds obsession with god. But me personally I require that you must NOT love god | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:31:14 PM |
Oh hunny you just gotta look hard for those crazy athiests I dont know what is up with the worlds obsession with god. But me personally I require that you must NOT love god
Take me I'm yours...hehei agre with you. Too bad there are so few of us and we are all so many miles apart. | |
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| Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:32:19 PM | | rosesforyou YOU ARE SERIOUSLY DERANGED. GOD HIMSELF COULDNT LIVE UP TO YOUR PSYCHOTIC REQUIREMENTS. I HOPE YOU HAVE A FUN TIME LOOKING FOR "THE ONE" BECAUSE YOUR GONNA BE DAMN OLD BEFORE YOU FIND HER | |
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