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Posted: 5/16/2008 10:24:30 AM | Hi SK, that is certainly a big improvement over what you had! good job!
But you are not there yet,it can still be better IMO.
Here are my thoughts for you to consider.
1."He must like horses, I don't care what disipline you ride in but you must enjoy them." You do understand that you are eliminating probably 95% of men that look at your profile with this statement alone? I see your passion for horses come through in your profile, and that is great. That is part of what makes a profile work. Unfortunately, in this case your passion, IMO, is working against you, not for you.
If you truly NEED that in order to love someone, by ALL means let it in there. But it is going to make finding what you want very difficult.
2. You jump back and forth from talking about you, to your man, and back to yourself again. It disrupts the flow of your profile.
But I do have tons to offer and I do know I am a catch.no I'm not concieted but somebody once told me that there is no better praise than self praise...so with that I will also say I am an excellent horsewoman. I recommend moving this up to your about you section.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 10:29:47 AM | Hi again OFCboy...I do get what you are saying...its just that my ex had told me he was into horses when we first met, and I thought "great"...it turned out to be a big lie, and it was very difficult to enjoy my passion or further my career becasue of it(ya there are some bitter feeling left over) so really I guess I would say "yes" this is VERY important to me.
Maybe put this instead......even if you just like them, and have maybe wanted to ride and are interested in doing it as a new hobby?
I don't know..this is important to mee to stress. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 10:34:11 AM | Hey, there you are already! Yes!!!!!!!! Something like this would be MUCH BETTER!
even if you just like them, and have maybe wanted to ride and are interested in doing it as a new hobby? | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 10:44:45 AM | | Tee hee...thanks for the positive critique OFCboy...ok I just edited again...... | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 10:54:02 AM | He must like horses, I don't care what discipline you ride in but you gotta have an affection for the beasts. Or maybe you do like them but haven't ridden but are interested in getting started. I am an excellent teacher!
Do you like home improvement? I do, and I really appreciate a man who is not afraid to get dirty or try a new project.
what else?? hmmmm......I know it should just be a given about looking for an "honest" man, but sometimes it isn't always the case I am a very open and honest girl, yes I will have my guard up and be on high alert, but when I feel comfortable to trust you with my fullest, you are golden. Not that you have anything to prove, but I am leery and gun shy.
You don't need to have the perfept body, looks are not everything, and personality will win over looks any day in my book, but bonus if you are handsome:)
This is better, BUT ! Many are STILL going to click off as soon as they see MUST LIKE HORSES, and never make it to "or an interest in learning". I suggest something more like this.
You must have either a passion for horses, OR , a passion to learn about horses. I am an excellent teacher, and would love to have someone to share my passion.
This goes without saying ! lmao " but bonus if you are handsome:) DELETE
BEST WISHES
OFCB | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 11:53:29 AM | I’ll tell you now OP that you don’t need to stress the horse thing so much, as has been literally beat to death already here for a lack of a better pun, because as a ranch girl you are likely not going to attract a city slicker anyway. City men are interested in hiking or traveling or kayaking sure, but doing chores and stuff like that is generally not in the interest of someone who’s blood runs thick with city in it. It’s the same with you likely not hooking up with a metro sexual. What would you have in common? Your interests ALL focus around living in the country. This isn’t a bad thing, and you are certainly in the right province to do this. I’m not certain how many cowboys are in the Edmonton area, but Calgary IS only three hours away and there’s PLENTY along the way! So I think you should be okay. And besides, where would the harm be in dating someone who didn’t ride horses or have a passion for feeding and caring for them or fixing fences, but liked to do his stuff and you could continue to do your stuff? People work separate jobs all the time. Maybe you meet someone from the city who is looking to get out into the open air and spread his wings a bit; relax.
But here’s another tidbit I’m going to share with you. Want to know who looks at profiles with no picture? The guys that look at profiles with no pictures are either not dating but merely bored and looking for someone to chat with, but primarily speaking they are guys who have likely exhausted most efforts in the pictured category and are starting to venture out to see who is available without a picture. Just remember that these guys may in fact have a rather jaded opinion of women in general as well as the entire online dating process as they’ve probably faced more rejection than a 1960’s black man trying to use the head in Mississippi. A picture will not kill you. What’s the fear? That someone might recognize you and make fun of you? That someone might stalk you? Everyone is doing this nowadays. Relax a bit and put up a picture. You’ll be AMAZED at how many emails you’ll get in comparison, as I’m sure you aren’t getting many as it stands.
I’m not sure I’d refer to your son as a dirtbagger… chances are many of us urban folk won’t grab that term and understand it. Hell, I’ve lived in the country now for 15 years and I can’t tell you what it means! I can tell you what it means to us city folk though, and it’s not pretty!
I’d leave the looks and body section out and merely focus on personality there. Even though you are saying you don’t care what they look like to a degree it’s sort of negative, and all the positivity helps! But then you cap it with a “Good Luck Gentleman” like you just sounded the opening bell to the race to your heart! That was a big turn-off in my books.
This has been stated already but don’t you think you are a bit narrow-minded in your dating range? No one younger but only 5 years older? How many men in your vicinity do you think there are at that age?! And how many of them aren’t looking for a hot young 25 year old still! LOL
I’m sure you can do better that than for the first date. You are country but you must have a good idea what would make you melt. A picnic on the river’s edge? A sunset ride into the hills with a basket of goodies. I’ll leave the basket of goodies up to your discretion! ;-) Make some changes as you see fit and good luck OP. We'd love to see a picture of you smiling with your horse/s though. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:00:24 PM | | yeesh ok......god just when Ithought I had it...k hold on dam it. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:17:38 PM |
you don’t need to stress the horse thing so much
K I toned down the horse thing....but serious, I still am mad at myself for choosing someone who had such a lack of interest and detest for my horses that I just don't want to go there agaon, (I don't mean to be so trigger happy with that)
I’m not certain how many cowboys are in the Edmonton area
not nessacarily looking for a cowboy, but someone to enjoy country living like myself, I don't live on a farm or ranch, its more like country suburbs) I do live in a subdivision on 3 acres. There are alot of people who live out here...
and ya you are right I do not want a city slick, but maybe someone grew up in the country but lives in the city thats totally cool....
lol... guys who quad or ride dirtbikes we call them dirt baggers...I am going dirt baggin' today...my son loves his quad..so he is my lil' dirtbagger....
This has been stated already but don’t you think you are a bit narrow-minded in your dating range?
no I sure the hell don't think I am bieng narrow minded. There is nothing wrong with my personal choice
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ok the pic thing....I will get one out next week, you guys are right...I'll have some pics of me and my skills.maybe Iwill have my hair brushed in one of them..lololol..kidding....yes I am a hick.......but I have style and flare...lol.
k thanks guys | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:31:43 PM | | oh what should Iput for my title cause nobody like the last one..:( | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 12:37:29 PM | I sure the hell don't think I am bieng narrow minded. There is nothing wrong with my personal choice
Whoo hoo, that kitten has claws! You go, girl!
Headline. Something horsey, but not suggestive. That leaves out anything having to do with "ride" or "riding." Hmmm.
"Let's trot off into the sunset." "Pony up." "Can you say "hay"?" "Hot to trot." (No, not that one, sorry.) Um. "I love the smell of good horseflesh in the morning. It reminds me of victory." No, too long. "Have saddle, will travel."
I could go on, but I'll spare you. Hope that helps a little. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 1:11:56 PM | LoL ursulamjor!!! Meeow..hahahhaha|
nothing suggestive, lol...hmm I love to ride......thanks for the suggestions. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 1:49:15 PM | I think "hey is for horses" is perfect here. Or "what does a gay horse eat?". I think most people have heard the joke before so it will make them smile as it's damn funny, and if not they'll likely want to inquire. And I wouldn't worry about being politically correct here... you aren't trying to pick up homosexuals anyways so you should be fine!
I still think you are being a bit unreasonable about your dating range. I agree everyone is entitled to their preferences but what if he came along and was 35 or 28? Or 25 and well established and mature? Hell, I'm 28 and kick azz! I'm bad-azz! But that's your loss... ;-)
I AM just kidding about the above by the way.
EDIT POST:
Thanks for posting pictures but they are both too distant and too blurry or dark. You can pretty much go back to the drawing boards there. But nice Carhartt’s by the way! ;-) I’m a Dickie’s fan personally for work gear.
I don’t remember this part but you should never start a profile with “hmmm, what to say” or anything similar: hey, not sure what to write, I’m not very good at these things, I hate talking about myself. It’s kind of rhetorical. I’m a little confused about something though. You say “someone who can get things done with his actions and not just words(or BS about it)”. To me it reads that you’d like him to talk with his actions and not his words, unless he can BS well enough to get by on just words. Maybe consider rewording this.
A more fitting first date with some humour! Thank you! I giggled at the medieval reference. I’d have capped it off with something like “; I ride a mean horse.”. Just a thought.
Otherwise it’s looking much better. You need some better pictures and a close-up of your face would be best for a main. Also, try and organize things a little better into paragraphs. It’s pretty broken right now, and you jump from you to him to you. Also, run a grammar check on the thing, and when you finish go through it and proof-read it all.
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Posted: 5/16/2008 2:02:55 PM | god you complain alot...its what I had on my pc for now...this weekend i'll get some kick ass ones.
and I will revamp on monday as well...check out my headline...I find it funny...tee and hee.... | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 2:06:06 PM | | k i edited a bit....oh ya my winter carharrts kick ass, I love****es as well......k later guys have a great long weekend...... | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 2:35:47 PM | Didn't you ask for a critique?! We aren't here to pat azzes and paint your nails honey! No, we're here to kick some tires and light some fires... under azzes. It's all in good fun also, but perhaps sometimes our sarcasm and wit isn't purveyed to the reader the way it does to the inner circle here. I am uber crotchety today though so maybe I owe you an apology in advance! LOL
The new headline is better but I think you made a faux pas with the words, as I think it's supposed to read "My hair is long so my neck doesn't get red".
I'll look over the rest as I'm leaving work early without consent. Shhhhhh. | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 2:43:31 PM | What *does* a gay horse eat? Is it something other than hay? Well, and oats. Grass. The occasional apple.
OP, I like the changes, and I know you weren't crazy about the idea of posting pics, so big kudos to you!
That crotchety guy is right, though -- we can make out that you're female, but still can't quite tell what you look like. You're going to have to bite the bullet and get some head shots up.
Think of it as a "work in progress." And you're progressing!  | |
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Posted: 5/16/2008 8:03:54 PM | | The punchline is lost without the actions and the gay lisp, but imagine a flaming homosexual doing the stereotypical finger snap and arm wave, and then a big gay "HEY!". | |
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