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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:42:44 PM | Moi?
I'm just a student - now! - but I have both a college diploma and a degree so it won't be too much longer before I'm not only gainfully employed, but happily and fulfillingly employed. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:37:44 PM | Oh, sweetie, I consider student a job - IF you are working towards a goal, which it seems you are!
When you get to that goal, bon chance with the job search! | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:28:01 PM | | I don't mean to hijack the thread. But i just had to ask, would guys date a woman if she was unemployed? | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:36:13 PM | I don't mean to hijack the thread. But i just had to ask, would guys date a woman if she was unemployed?
more than likely ya. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:46:55 PM | Don't be lazy, read the thread! The general concensus here is that someone who is unemployed and feeling some stress about money matters would do better to focus on obtaining employment before turning their attention to dating...
...regardless of whether that person is a man or a woman. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:51:21 PM | Don't be lazy, read the thread! The general concensus here is that someone who is unemployed and feeling some stress about money matters would do better to focus on obtaining employment before turning their attention to dating...
...regardless of whether that person is a man or a woman.
assuming they went against general concensus the ladies would still be able to date often. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:39:28 AM | I think...that a lot of men still maintain an old-fashioned belief that they should be a provider. This is why I think an unemployed woman would be likely to get a date.
Personally, I have sort of chosen not to go out on dates since i've been unemployed. I don't want to get in to a situation where I can't put as much in as i'd like, due to finances. That being said, I pay all my bills and still have money in the bank for whatever I want. I think I feel a bit incomplete, without a job, and maybe that's why I haven't dated.
Also, for the record, I worked in financial services, cashing people's pay checks every week. You'd be surprised how many women make a significant amount more than their significant others! I think this says something about the belief that women are after the coin. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:06:06 AM | Basic primal instincts, GENERALLY (Don't hate on me for it) men want to provide, women want to raise children, etc.
Society is making both sexes into equally able to raise children and provide for family, so it throws out the initial instincts. That can scare a guy I guess, might make him wonder what purpose he is needed for with having a family.
Who knows where our society will be in a century, as I'm sure jaws woulda dropped if they knew wives could be earning much more than their husbands. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:41:53 AM |
I think...that a lot of men still maintain an old-fashioned belief that they should be a provider. This is why I think an unemployed woman would be likely to get a date.
we mostly care about looks and availability at first. as long as you have the means to bathe and groom yourself we don't care about your money.
same with personality in the beginning. It helps sure, but not really necessary to be a good, or interesting person as long as you look hot. Some of us don't even mind for months or years if you just look really good. It's not fair but people ascribe all kinds of personality characteristics to physical characteristics. You ever hear the joke that when a good looking person smiles at you, you think, oh they're nice...but when an ugly person smiles at you, you think: what does it want? Basically true. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 7:47:40 AM | probably i'll get alot of criticism n' crap for this post ..but i could care less
I admit I am quite lazy ... I haven't had a job in 9mths. shock/horror
.. It wasn't always this way, i'm 22 now and from ages 17-20 I was physically unable to work due to a medical condition that left me in chronic pain for most of the day, this really messed up college for me and i failed everything...
things are alot better for me these days, the pain is gone ... but the laziness I aquired over that time still lingers. I haven't really been trying all that hard recently. I could definately try harder.
idealy nobody wants to date someone with no money. I'm not surprised at all that alot of the women here say they would not date someone without a job.
speaking personally, atm I would not target to date a woman who has a full time job, I would be quite embarrased if she had to pay for everything all the time ...or each time she wanted to go out i couldn't afford it. ..i'd aim for someone with a part time job maximum..
unemployed guys, If you want to date with little money, best to adopt a different strategy. this is my survival guide.
.. younger girls are better(18-22) ..on the whole you will generally find them more accepting of your lack of funds than older women. alot of them themselves are not leading lavish lifestyles due to being in uni/college and having big debts to cover. The majority are also not dating with a view of settling down yet ..as they are still young so it usually dosen't matter as much to them how much you make compared with a woman in her 30's for example who's looking on settling down.
they'll still be put off if you don't show any career aspirations, ...but on the whole they are more accepting of your financial situation.
also you may have to lie. you may not like lying but at the end of the day you'll have alot more success.
If they ask what I do I lie, I lost my job a couple of weeks before we met due to redundancy and now work 1 day a week in a shop while I am looking for more perminant work. ..thats what i tell them.
then a long time later (if we're still together) I may decide to come clean and tell her the truth that I haven't had a job for 9 mths. by that time she's more emotionaly invested and has developed feelings and therefore much less likely to NEXT you for someone who does have a job.
if you date women 23+ then more and more will have full time jobs and expect you to have the same. the higher in age the more likely she is to be working and earning more money. also thier proirities in life are begging to change ...more and more are looking to settling down and a man and dating a man without a job becomes less and less acceptable to them.
also the women on this website I notice are very demanding and picky about what they want (and expect) from thier man. they can afford to be so.
Many get more messages from potential suiters than they can respond to (or so the claim). with all that choice why is she gonna take a man with no job over one that does have one?
you are seriously disadvanged compared to the competition.
solution? may sound cheesey or whatever but get your ass off this website ..and onto one of those seduction websites and learn how to sarge.
you will have a harder time with it if you live in the USA because TV shows and stuff have pushed it more into the public eye over there ..so you are more likely to be caught running game, ..however in england (where i live) it's alot less likely they'll realise.
if you have no job then probably you wont have the funds to go to bars/clubs often to meet women. but if you do have no job you will likely have free time on your hands.
get yourself off to a mall/shopping centre (certain times of day are better than others) and start working your magic.
if/when you find a woman who is interested. first date should always be go for a coffee or something cheap like that.
true that she may be unimpressed with your lack of funds ...but then again she likely hasn't got an endless list of suiters a mouseclick away either ...so she's more likely to not ditch you.
if it dosen't work out and funds become an issue and she ditches you ..get back out there near the mall and find another woman.
I don't know how old some of you guys are but if you are too old you won't be able to hit on 18-22 girls without looking like a perv, ..or you may just not want to date girls that age, in that case you'll have to go for women nearer your own age but expect more resistance. in that case perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to unlazify and get a job.
me ..i'll get a job soon, yeah it's definately harder after so long ..but i'm beginning to get out of that lazy mindset. but yeah the above is how i got by with dating. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:27:25 AM | | It would really depend on why and how long they have been unemployed. I agree with the others that it is more acceptable for a woman to date and be unemployed than a man. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:41:45 AM | I agree with the others that it is more acceptable for a woman to date and be unemployed than a man.
this is simply because a man doesnt mind paying the bills. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:48:26 AM | I didn't date when I was unemployed (for a few months after being laid off) because I'm not going to be a moocher, employed or not..
I still say that if someone wants to date when they don't have a job, that's fine. Just make sure that finding a job is your first priority and you do things that are cheap or free so the employed person doesn't get taken advantage of. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:58:49 AM | | I won't date a guy who isn't gainfully employed. I work every day and I want someone who does the same and is responsible. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:04:50 AM | Defiance888,
Hanging out at coffee shops and malls trying to pick up other lazy, or otherwise unmotivated people is what most women, i'm sure, think the problem is. Sure, you can find someone just like you, who is equally unmotivated, and the two of you may end up living a very mediocre life filled with financial struggles ahead! Sounds fulfilling to me! Perhaps you could I dunno...spend the time getting a job, before settling down to such a way of life.
The alternative in your opinion, is to try and date "up the food chain" to a woman who *gasp* has something going for her, but this would only work if the relationship was based on a lie, you say. Do you actually have experience with this scenario? I've got to know. The women you date must have the IQ of a freaking doorknob!
If a man lied to me about his work, or any other area of his life, in order to try and get a date with me, i'm sure i'd see through it. If I didn't, when I found out, emotional connection or not, he'd be single again pretty fast! If you need to lie about your life, to make it seem interesting, or purposeful, perhaps it's time to actually go out and start being interesting and meaningful, don't you think?
Is this what it all comes down to? If you don't have what you think makes you a catch to a woman, it's best to deceive her into liking you? Get a job. Do something meaningful with your day, your life, etc. A woman values a man who values himself. Do something productive in your day, and maybe you'll get a date without having to lie! | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:54:16 AM | lucretia21
I know lying about it is not good ... but for a guy to date without a job It'll sure help your chances.
and i don't outragously lie ..that would be stupid, I know i'd get caught out, i don't say i'm holding down a 9-5 job because it's not congruent with my situation and they would see through it pretty quickly as i'd have little money , ..i can see no way to fake that.
by saying i recently got laid off and am working 1 day a week whilst looking for something full time it is congruent with the amount of disposable money I do have and dosen't sound all that bad.
the truthful alternative would be to say i haven't had a job in 9mths and haven't been trying as hard as i could have ..and am recieving job-seekers allowance. ...that dosen't sound good. Upon hearing that on a first date/encounter i'd probably ditch me too.
and no the women I date arn't dumb, but like i said women 18-22 are generally more accepting of my finanacial situation as they too are often in similar ones as alot are in college/uni with not too much funds available.
and in regards to job prospects I am in the process of getting my life sorted and unlazifying. I don't expect to be still jobless in 3mths time...
just decided to post what has worked for me while jobless for other guys in a similar position. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:05:08 PM |
Hanging out at coffee shops and malls trying to pick up other lazy, or otherwise unmotivated people is what most women, i'm sure, think the problem is. Sure, you can find someone just like you, who is equally unmotivated, and the two of you may end up living a very mediocre life filled with financial struggles ahead!
How come you automatically assume any guy out of work is a 'moocher' or lazy 'good-for-nothing?' There's layoffs in Manufacturing, I.T., Accounting, etc. etc. It could be in any sector or area of the economy. It might take a long time to find work again or someone might want a career change and have to settle (regarding a job). You and the girl above are pathetic in that your values are all about materialism and that's superficial and shallow. I keep noticing a bunch of wussy guys on here, too, that don't have the guts to state this. They're afraid girls will think they're whining or that they don't have a $90,000 income or whatever. They're almost as bad. I think this society sucks in that everyone is measured by looks and how much money they make or what job they have. Everyone is a number. That's why I have this complaint, this isn't whining as this is a critique on society and how this attitude has deteriorated humanity and relationships. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:25:49 PM | who has the right to say its unacceptable? is it goin to work? sure. some women don't care about that kinda stuff. ya know.. money. bills being paid. stability.
but seriously.. shouldn't you be concentrating on finding a job instead of dating?
IMHO.
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:37:33 PM | but seriously.. shouldn't you be concentrating on finding a job instead of dating?
IMHO.
no.i would say by this thread ,this is the best time to date.apparently you would be able to find someone who is able to get to know you,without worrying about money. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:38:34 PM | everyone has a right to date..
however finding a woman that will date you might be tough..reality is women dont want to date a broke man when they can date one with money...it just doesnt make sense.
But if you can make a woman feel comfortable and at home and put some effort into making your life a little better i dont see why you wouldnt get a date. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:43:05 PM | LOL if you think that she's sittin there ... at burger king across the table and not worrying about money... you're only playin yourself.
look.. its all good. you have a right to date and have a good time and find love. but no one is sayin its goin to be easy because the lack of a job makes you unstable. i'm not sayin you should become a workhorse. just sayin get your priorities straight.
no.i would say by this thread ,this is the best time to date.apparently you would be able to find someone who is able to get to know you,without worrying about money.
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:50:39 PM | LOL if you think that she's sittin there ... at burger king across the table and not worrying about money... you're only playin yourself
thats good.i will make sure to tell my friends to take thier dates to burger king then.if she calls back the next day,you at least know its not money she is after its you.
priorities?if the girl is that worried about money,i guess she better figure a way to make more. | |
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| Looking for love without a job?
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:04:17 PM | | For the love of Pete, it's not about the money! It's about the lack of motivation demonstrated by someone who would be willing to be unemployed over a long period of time. I would be more than willing to go on a McDonalds date with someone I was already in a relationship with who happened to be going through a SHORT period of unemployment, but if it has been more than a month or so the person is just being lazy. | |
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