| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:47:46 AM | That man does not love himself. No amount of trying to love someone else on his part will ever fill that void within. A person has to love themselves at least some in order to truly be able to love another. He sounds like he was grasping at straws & will likely continue his life repeating the same trip unless & until he learns to love from inside himself.
Hang in there OP, & be glad he cut the abuse & left. It hurts now, but at least it won't hurt for a lifetime. | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:04:22 AM | If he started to criticize you after three days .... why in the world did you continue to see him and marry him ?
Truth is .. when you fall for someone , you learn to ignore signals which you shouldn't ignore.
Be certain in your heart that it was him NOT you....
He played you ....
You will find other to love ....
Good luck | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:07:46 AM |
I knew in my heart that he didn't like or love me.
You knew this, he started hurting you three days after you MET, but you still continued having a relationship with him, and them married him to top it off?
I can't imagine why he wanted to waste our time like this!
I know you are down right now, and heartbroken, but you've got to take some responsibility here, too. You are an adult and you know that love is not someone who is mean to you and puts you down. It seems like you have some self esteem issues you need to deal with. You didn't just stay in a relationship with someone who treated you badly, you went into it knowing that he had treated you badly right from the start. You say that he told you he was with you due to desperation, but why were YOU with someone who treated you badly if you weren't desperate yourself? I'm just curious. | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:13:05 PM | | It hurts to find out that your love was not returned in the way you thought. Some people have different definitions of what love is. Some feel it deeper than others. Don't let it get to you anymore - you will find someone who returns your love in the same way - it just takes time to find. All I would suggest is that if the person hasn't shown you any sign of returning your love in a time period, then don't let it continue. Waiting for someone to love you will never happen if it isn't there to begin with. | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:41:23 PM | | I once dated a guy for 3 months who criticized things about my appearance. I have a freckle on my nose that he insisted be removed (!), and he wanted me to get fake nails because mine are really short, and also I bite them. I really cared for him, so I overlooked his obsession with changing my appearance, but I had a sinking feeling about it. The thing is, he had the money to change all the things he didn't like about me and buy me a whole new wardrobe if I wanted. At first, I thought it might be cool to have perfect teeth, perfect nails, fancy clothes, etc. But I had this sinking feeling in my gut that one day he would want me to get a face lift, a boob job, and who knows what else. I just couldn't do it, and we eventually split. I totally understand and relate to how you can accept a person's flaws when you love them. But didn't you get that sinking feeling in your stomach? I don't know how you can ignore that! For years after I split from him, I was self-conscious about the freckle on my nose, even though guys I dated and my friends all thought it was adorable. I actually tried to have it removed but it wouldn't come off. Now I have come to peace with the little freckle, and I wouldn't remove it for the world! | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:46:45 PM | Sheesh! Snakewhisperer...you are FORTY SEVEN years old...and you look like you are in your TWENTIES...you're gorgeous, woman!!! If dude had a problem with a freckle...OH LAWRD! lol
Now I would have a problem with the creepy crawler critters...lol
(and yes...I peeked at the profile to see if I could see this god awful freckle! LOL) | |
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| Coming to terms with the fact that he never loved me...
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:08:15 PM | | HarleyKat, you are incredibly kind!! No you can't see the freckle in the pictures--it's really tiny and probably covered with make-up. My last post was just to show how damaging criticism can be to your self-esteem! And BTW, you could learn to love snakes--they are so cute and cuddly! | |
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