| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:46:16 PM | | too aggressive or too passive...tough start to any date ....but better aggresive and get the (NO), then passive and the lady thinks you are a wimp or gay>>>>> | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:30:16 PM | If they fancied you they would have asked to see you again.
I know the feeling though, thanks but no thanks she says.
So you just move on and keep trying............... | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:47:31 PM | | I second all the flirtacious advice given so far. I don't remember how many dates I went on with my longest-term gf before I kissed her, but it was quite a few. I love the responses by the insecure men on this thread, though. If a guy doesn't put out or at least try to kiss the girl in X dates, then he most certainly is gay or unmanly? Bahahahaa. Keep thinking that way, guys, and you'll still be on POF in your 70's, asking women to see your wrinkly thing. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:22:36 PM | Hi tradingaces,
i kinda wish i had your dilema. i like it so much when guys take their time. Wow for a change someone taking his time on things. Id take that as a compliment.
Maybe he really likes you and doesnt want to rush things, some girls get turned off.
But its also worth discussing if you feel comfortable enough, or maybe he's really shy and hoping you'd make the first move? | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:12:28 PM | Not sure what's the big deal is. Been four dates -- not 5. (Just kidding).
Never know until you just talk to the guy. Or just make a move to kiss him.
And like a guy said before me.. guys SUCK at signals. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:48:35 PM | | Awwww...sometimes it can be really sweet that a guy likes you, brings you flowers, and is shy or reserved, but then sometimes... if you are not as reserved and are dying for a kiss it could mean disaster...I thought in my similar situation it was cute, but then realized not only was the kissing reserved but so was every aspect of the relationship(would not share openly, very guarded, very not willing to share, and I was just asking for a little),soooooo a little to reserved for me...not that I wanted him to make all of the moves right away, but there is something to be said about at least seeing what's there in a kiss, a spark?...especially by the end of the second or third date...are you two on the same page? | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:19:05 AM | | That's a tough one, a hug and maybe a peck on the cheek is fine on the first date, on the second I'm kissing her, especially if she is touching my arm, rubbing my back, etc... This is one clueless dude, do what you want, it's nice that he apparently isn't a dog. If I was attracted to you and you showed interest like that, you would've been very kissed by now. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:09:25 PM | Well, there is a general written rule which is followed, and that is if either party is unsure then wait for date 3 before a full on kiss. However, the lack of kissing could be down to bad experience of perhaps breath that smells worse that yesterdays nappy contents?? Whatever the reason, you need to take control of the situation and here is what you should do on your next date. FORGET subtle glances and touches (men reallt are pants at picking up on these) if you're not into holding hands or walking with your arms around each other then hook your arm around his whilst you are walking; he will know that you then feel safe and secure in his company, that you are thinking of him in a partner fashion. Pay HIM compliments (just one or two mind) and use the word handsome if you think he is - you'll be amazed that this will take his breath away. Finally, at a point when you are somewhere private-ish and it's quiet-ish, tell him about a new conditioner you have been trying and that you love the way it makes your hair feel, ask him to see for himself and if he doesn't want to, playfully pick his hand up and stick it in your hair! While he's touching it, look him in the eyes, lean your head slightly up and to the side exposing your neck; all men know on a subconsious level that this means you are surrendering yourself to them, that you trust them enough to expose a VERY vonerable part of your body to him (this is where the concept and fear of vampires come from and it's built into our deepest desires). Then, glance from his eyes, to his lips, back to his eyes, pause, back to his lips and finally back to his eyes. Now, move slowly forward, gently until you are about 15cm away from him, tilting your head so that you are ready to kiss and pause. He'll damn well kis you and if he doesn't them you know he NEVER will but, you do not need to kiss him that's why it's SOOOO IMPORTANT to stop otherwise it won't be his final choice and you'll still not know anything about how he feels! Hope that helps  | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:03:29 PM | Why don`t you just kiss him???If he didn`t like you he wouldn`t keep asking you out.
Hmm ,you are 34 ???????? | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:04:57 PM | | He wants you to meet his boyfriend before he moves further. His boyfriend probably lets him date women (he calls them "fish" ironically!), but boyfriend must approve before things go oral. Keep us updated. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:19:14 PM | Maybe he hasnt dated in quite some time. Maybe he's a little rusty at it. I havent dated for a while myself and its not as easy getting comfortable w/ intimacy again as some make it out to be.
If its going to happen, remember it takes two..show him youre into it and he'll respond.. one way or the other.
just my 2 cents.. plus GST | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:49:40 AM | OP, he's not gay or weird or anything. He's just scared. Who knows what he has been through. He obviously wants to get past it with YOU or there would not have been two dates let alone five.
It's time to grab the bull by the horns and open some DIALOGUE. Pick a private setting where you won't be overheard and where he can feel safe to open up. Everyone harps about "communication". I think now is the time for some.
IMHO. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:07:22 AM | | men get funny when we get older we hit on so many women in are life Its are trun now we have good jobs homes cars hit on us and see what happens | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:49:55 AM | He sounds shy or is afraid of rejection. It might sounds like a weird question but does he have nice teeth, sometimes if a man doesn't, he worries about the first kiss being less then great.
If it was me, I'd put on a lip plumper to make my lips soft and natural looking, smile a lot and softly touch my bottom lip with my finger a few times in conversation (not too much or it would look obvious) if he didn't kiss me after that. I'd ask him why he hasn't kissed me yet because frankly it would concern me. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:52:16 AM | Sounds like a good man to me!! A man that brings flowers is a man that is very into you.
Its all about communication at this stage and that will also determine the future of your relationship...ask him how he feels!! I think this world today lives far too much in 'code' - we are not mind readers and you will never figure someone out without open communication.
Or....kiss him already...its 2008! | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:52:09 AM | | well, i do have a few questions. what part of the country was he raised in? it seems to me that ppl in california are a little quicker to the kissing, etc. than a gentleman from the south would be. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:12:15 AM | | Sounds to me he may be unsure weather to or not and wants to be respectful. If you want it go for it seems like a guy with a close personality to mine and it may be a few before he does or becomes comfortable doing affectinate things. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:25:07 AM | Well, at least you know what you're getting with the folks whose only response is some variation of "what a fag."
If he's nervous and has been out of the game for a bit, he may very well just not want to scare you off. And being male, he can't read signs worth a cr@p. Kiss him, and if he freaks, then move on. Just my $0.02 | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:35:56 PM | | He sounds like he could by shy, or he could just really like you and doesn't want to mess it up. It's 2008...it's ok for a woman to kiss first :-) Men like to be romanced too ;-) | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:11:25 PM | | I think the guys is just shy and scared, 4 dates and you not even talked about kissing or sex. Just ask him the next time if he is looking to get a good night kiss and if he says yes then whisper in his ear...damn i was looking to get good night laid that should do the trick. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:57:51 AM | | Sounds like he's really shy, he really likes you and dosesn't want to fu.ck things up.. Sounds like he's been in the POF forums read'n about how much of a dog/pigs guys are and dosen't want to be put in that category. Maybe he's wondering why he's take'n you out on 5 dates and you still haven't kissed him... Poor guy probably about to buy a hooker just to get a kiss at this point. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:25:20 AM | under the impression that kisses can be started by either party, so the OP has made no attempt to grab him and kiss him ?
Maybe the guy is shy and or not good at hints, not good at hints either and can be difficult to guess what the other person is really after, so asking them is best :)
OP could mail them or hope they have date number 6... | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:03:02 PM | I'm agreeing with "Sam I am" on this one.....
if you knocked his socks off(got that line from another thread)...then he'd have given you a kiss on the first date.
However....with that said..........I could be wrong....it would be nice if I was...hope so...cause I like good endings. | |
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| she kissed the boys and made them cry...
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:16:08 PM | there is no rule that you have to wait for a kiss. if your feminine charm isn't working, (dont ask) -just throw your arms around him and lay one on him
if he didn't like it or runs away crying, -you'll definately want to throw that little fishie back in the water. | |
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| 4 great dates... and no kiss?
Posted: 5/20/2008 6:40:56 PM | | Sounds like he might be a keeper. Sometimes a good first kiss moment just doesn't present itself. Create an opportunity; jimi77's "laff and put your forehead against his then look deep in to his eyes as you pull away , but not to far away he might get that hint" sounds like the right approach to me. | |
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