| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:06:31 AM | sorry,,,,,,,,i can not understand how anyone could have the time to talk with someone for years online??????? and to let there emotions run wild with what could be or maybe this,,, or that.. it is not real life,, it is some kind of internet fantsy.. iam not trying to be cruel,,, but YOU HAVE TO BE WITHIN DRVING DISTANCE. beleive me i have talked with some very nice women from other states,,, and i would love to know them,,, but iam not moving for any women that i started chating with online
and,, i would not expect them to move either,, and are you really going to put your life into someone hands ypu chated with online??????? i hope you understand what iam saying???? best of luck 2 u!! | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:16:49 AM | i can not understand how anyone could have the time to talk with someone for years online??????? and to let there emotions run wild with what could be or maybe this,,, or that.. it is not real life,, it is some kind of internet fantsy.. iam not trying to be cruel,,, but YOU HAVE TO BE WITHIN DRVING DISTANCE.
^^^ Just a comment to that.
I know many many people who've had relationships from the internet. Some successful, some not...however...
The 4 I know of that resulted in marriage and are successful...were all people from different countries (as their partner) who worked hard to spend time together and be together.
Whether that actually means anything or not...I dunno. But seems the bigger the obstacles...the higher the success rate.
Maybe its because these couples work together...as opposed to taking whats convenient *?* | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:55:13 AM | I appreciate all your comments and opinions and respect them.
Yes, it's been a long haul for the both of us...remember, we were BOTH dating others during our years of talking.
I'm seeing him over Memorial Day weekend, we're going to the Indy 500. I'll be there 2 days prior to that and we'll see what happens then.
No, I have not 'strung him along'. He knew and I knew where we were at the entire time we talked.
Again, only time will tell.
Thanks again all! | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:40:10 AM | Wow!!!! Huggles you have a lot of ????? I'm not sure what to call it.
I sure hope you are not disappointed upon finally meeting him in person, people can be a lot of things on line ....until two people actually meet and all the chemistry two people have created transends from online into reality it is only a fantasy. You sure did take a leap of faith here I only hope on your part that he turns out to be all that you wished for...
Warm Regards,
Diane
When I was first on line I did the chat thing for awhile and shared about myself for weeks sometimes months, then would meet finally meet. I can't tell you how I was let down that what I felt on line/phone did not transend in reality. I learned my lesson quickly and now I only meet if he is in within 1 hours drive and we meet within the first 7-10 days. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:14:27 AM |
^^^I'm sorry - no, we have not met in person, only via web cam. We'll be meeting in person over Memorial Day.
This is going to come out harsh but: OMFG....are you nuts? You're willing to spend the rest of your life with this person and you've never even MET?
Oh man, I don't even know where to begin........
Ok, to start off with: the showing up at your door with a ring, that was facetious. It was probably a response to something you said that warmed his heart. For example: I once asked a woman to marry me but that was right after she gave me the best BJ of my life.....she said yeah sure lol. We both knew it wasn't a "real" proposal, just like his comment wasn't.
One cannot replace the physical world. As much as we all think of ourselves to be "deeper" than that, there is NO getting around it. While you may LOOK at him and find him outwardly attractive, there are so many dynamics that you haven't even touched on yet.
For eg: each of us has our own individual "odor". I don't mean B.O., I mean the pheromones that we give off. The chemicals that surround us constantly. Some people just don't get along that way. Some people's unique "smell" just turn them off. Just like some people get immensely turned on by it. (I had a gf that used to come over to my place when I wasn't around and watch TV in my bathrobe and she'd steal a t shirt of mine out of the dirty laundry to wear to bed when we couldn't be together).
Then there's physical contact: I can't tell you how many truly beautiful women I've met and thought, OH man, it'd be so great to "do" her, but the second we hug, it's like EWWWWWWWW
I could go on but I believe anything I say will fall on deaf ears. Suffice to say that while you can communicate well and get along well 'virtually', that is no guarantee that you will in "reality". I'd suggest you rein in your emotions just a tad until you've met in person. Believe me, I know of what I'm talking about from experience. I used to organize parties all over N. America for another singles site and have met literally thousands of people. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:00:43 AM |
Remember, we were BOTH dating others during our years of talking.
Why is it you keep labouring this point? What is it about the subtle distinction that eludes you?
He wanted to date you from the very start. You didn't want to date him so he dated others. You were his 1st choice. When his 1st choice turned him down he had three options. 1) Pine after you 2) Enter the Priesthood 3) Date other people. He went with the latter.
You didn't want to date him from the very start. Your 1st choice was to date other people. After 4 years of not dating him you have now decided that you want to date him.
So, once again, so that it is perfectly clear. You were his 1st choice. He is your [insert number of men you dated over the four years here] choice.
Do you see the difference? Do you???????? He had no choice but to date other people. The person he wanted to date (YOU) turned him down. You could have dated him if you wanted to but YOU chose not to.
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:15:28 PM | wow, you are very self absorbed; what if he's now not ready; I mean waiting around for 4 years and then someone "blesses them" saying, OK now I'm ready, lets do this.
Maybe all these years of you not being interested when he was has worn him out. If he was so into you he would have jumped at the chance after your letter/email.
He's either way over you or he's very leery about you. I mean does it mean dating for years and maybe getting married some day.
You sound like you have some serious commitment issues especially if you avoid men that want to be with you. The trouble is often when people are finally ready, the ship has sailed and they end up alone or with multiple divorces or broken relationships.
I have several women; I'm sure other men have too; that contact me saying, oh you meet all my criteria or I think you and I can date, when can we meet. Well who asked me if I even wanted to date these people.
You may now have a friend; your chance may be lost. Remember, the choice is for 2 people in a relationship; not just you. You forgot to ask him if he wants this, and so far the answer is no. It's not all about what you want; it's not all about you. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:08:37 PM | 4 years..????? he's not the only one who is shell shocked, my mind is boggling... 4 weeks is too long, 4 years is ridiculous.
have you considered what you are actually giving up? how are you going to feel, when you do eventually meet, and one of you goes eeewwwwww......????
are you prepared to give up your online friendship? all that sharing and caring? all those emails, letters, webcam chats, phone chats....? they will all be gone.
what are you going to replace them with when the relationship that you are anticipating doesn't happen and the friendship fizzles? | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:11:18 AM | I hope he's seen other photos of you other than the ones you posted on this site.....
I still have no idea what you look like
I've seen... a red poster... a photo of a very white person holding a baby... i think that person has eyes .... and 2 pictures in sunglasses...... and the one with your friend....i'm kind of guessing which one you are.. on the right?????
I wouldn't be able to pick you out in a line up | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:22:55 AM | | 4yrs online...way to long. your just a online G/F some one to swap dating stories with and thats it...i don't think he will date you when he gets back from bike week...have you ever gone to bike week? i am sure he'll have some stories for you then. happy for you? no....any trek that takes 4yrs to complete ...is a life time that you'll never get back. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:17:08 PM | Re the Opost and follow up posts to the Opost
I am a believer in the online medium and I do believe that two people can get to know each other well via e-means (mails, calls, webcam meets, etc etc).
But unless they actually meet at some point, the "connection", any type of connection, pals or romantic, is still incomplete. And 4 years, !!! OMG, well that is a terribly long time to be strictly "e" anything!!!! Even when they are continents apart! 4 years w/o having met??! OMG! That is for the Guiness Book!
Thus, alas, I will side with the fellow posters who think that he may have put the OP deeply in friends zone by now, although of course one never knows until one actually meets face to face, IRL! So if I was in the OP's shoes, I would keep my expectations "moderate", be ready for a romantic bit also a Platonic friends outcome.
4 years, incredible! I admire both persons, but I think that if it took 4 years to meet, friendship is the most likely scenario to be expected, but then again, who knows, until they meet, finally, face to face!
Good luck!
PS. "4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......". This title is, frankly, reflecting the problem. 4 years to get ready, the boat must have left by now! Again, good luck!
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:43:50 PM | | im in the same boat as the creater of this thread, i've known a girl for 5 years......and for like 3 of those years she viciously persued me but i would not commit, not because she wasnt a great catch, but because i have rarely ever felt anything for a girl and did not want her to get attached to me only to get hurt, now 5 years later i've fallen for her, and i think its too little too late...i tried to tell her how i felt (she lives two hours away, went away for college) but she never gave me a date as to when i can drive up and see her........so i've given up........i dont want to get attached, and just get some tail.........life is alot less difficult when you just got one thing in mind regarding women........ | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:26:17 PM | Will keep you posted as to what happens.
I appreciate all the comments and opinions and yep, this is a tough one to swallow...what guy WOULD wait around 4 years? We'll see.
And to those who think this is all about me, I'm sorry you feel that way, but no, it's not. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:14:00 AM | This is as simple as honey on toast.
You talked to him for 4 years, and kept secrets that you've just now revealed in a letter?
You're not who you said you were. You lied by ommision.
He doesn't know you.
He's been falling in love with someone else.
..........Guess what? He doesnt trust you now.
Its not him, dear.
It's your fault.
I would RUN LIKE HELL from a woman who did this to me. I hope you learn from it. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:17:50 PM | [[This is as simple as honey on toast.
You talked to him for 4 years, and kept secrets that you've just now revealed in a letter?]]
Where does she say that she kept secrets from him?
From what i understand they have been honest with each other and have been able to talk about everything and anything that has been going on in thier lives. Something has kept them apart for 4 years but now she's ready to take the next step. What's the big deal how long it has taken her to fianlly decide she is ready to meet him in person. It's probably better that she waited till she was ready because now she can give him a real chance. If she would have met him before, he would have never gotten the chance and they wouldn't even be friends now. And don't forget, He's stuck around and waited for her. I don't think any guy would stay friends with a girl he has never met if he still didn't want the chance to maybe bring it to the next level.
You go Huggles...Knock his socks off when you meet him and i hope it works out for both of you.
The best relationships start out as friendships. | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:54:11 PM | ^^ thanks Ruckus...I haven't held ANYTHING back...he knows EXACTLY what's been going on w/me and I him.
He's back in town and he's about to read all of this.....so.........some of you may have helped me AND him, or made him think even more about what he plans to do.
Gotta say, this is like having 10 therapists and again, thank you all for your input. I'll let ya know what he thinks........ | |
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| 4 Years of online chatting.....and now I'm ready......
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:25:26 PM | {{Gotta say, this is like having 10 therapists and again, thank you all for your input. I'll let ya know what he thinks........}}
I'll be sending you 10 differnet bills for the therapy. I take paypal.... | |
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