| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:33:16 AM | Thank you Jim for the nice words. I notice in my last post that I spelled "College" wrong but hey, I worked all day and part of the night so I was in a blur and didn't think about using spell check But, On topic. I have already said this on this thread already. The way I see it it is no ones business what I do to make a living. If I start talking to a woman here and the conversation flows well and she asks I will be glad to tell her what I do. Right now my profile says AJC. To me that is good enough. What I do there is no ones business and to me common sense says you don't post to much info in a place where anybody can get to it. There have been countless warnings on my local news about posting to much info on the Internet and how it can come back to haunt you. The way I see it you keep information on open websites to a minimum. There are to many nutty people that can take what you think is harmless information and turn it into a nightmare for you. So, As for me, I will only share information about my job in private. Not on a open website like POF or any other for that matter. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:54:26 PM | One poster said she felt that couples were most successful when similar in age, income and education. While there are certainly exceptions, overall I agree with this. People take it as a personal insult if someone wants to date those with more education or more money.
Ignore the profession slot for a moment.
PLEASE CONSIDER THESE THREE THINGS:
1) Hypothetically, if two people get married and one of them earns $25,000 per year and the other earns $175,000 per year. They are married for 5 years and as with most marriages it ends in divorce. During their married life they earned a cummulative income of $200,000 per year. A total of $1,000,000 during their married life. Assuming they do not spend it to live on during that 5 years, at the end of their married life each person would walk away with $500,000. This means that it cost the person with the higher income $375,000 dollars for the "pleasure" of their spouses company for that five years. This is assuming that the spouse with the higher income protected his or her assets and savings with a prenup before the marriage. Is this fair? So what are your choices if you are the higher paid and don't want to lose your savings for those years? There are only two. #1 you don't get married EVER. or #2 you get married to someone who earns an equal amount to you.
2) Now consider that while there are exceptions, most careers that consistently earn a high wage also require extensive education or training. As I stated in another thread people don't just learn the information required for their job in college. They learn how to learn. Through learning the mind becomes fit, just as the body becomes fit through excercise. While a few people may have fit minds with rapid learning ability without formal education, you are more likely to find fit minds among those trained to make them so. Add to that that women are raised to seek and value men who equal or excede them in intelligence and abilities. In other words they are taught to seek out a man with a fit mind.
3) Finally consider that you have spent your entire life earning your education, forming some degree of financial security and you want to meet someone to share your life with. You don't want to give up half of your income if the relationship goes bad and your want a man you can look up to (just as you were raised to) so what do you do. To ask a man's education level or income is deemed to be insulting by the community at large even if you have very logical reasons for asking.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO??? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:33:30 PM | OK, Doctor, I've read what you believe about the educated or trained, fit mind. I find positive value from your perspective.
My older Brother is and has been a gainfully employed staff doctor working at a hospital for many years. He has earned multiple college degrees, teaching certificates, an MS and a Doctorate. He even attained the rank of Major in a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces, retiring his duty in the Medical Corps. several years ago. He was confined to a mental institution for the better part of a year in 1979. One pharma. he was medicated with was Thorazine. He and his first wife declared bankruptcy in 1995. His natural children are changing their last names when they're turning 18. He has now married multiple women with advanced degrees. That's some of what he's done so far with his education-based fit mind, in seeking other education-based fit minded partners.
Many of us didn't learn how to learn, or are not as capable to learn as others. I know I don't learn education too well, for whatever reasons. I don't believe that my mind is an unfit or unlearned mind, it just isn't educated. Some uneducated fit minds do well in many areas of their life, and some don't. Some uneducated/untrained minds have accrued large tangible assets over a lifetime, and some haven't.
If a fit mind through education led the way to insuring a sizable income, healthy personal relationships and finances, happiness and contentment in life, I think I would have bought into it by now. I believe I know different.
At this stage of my life as a never been married bachelor, I would not like to be hustled into marriage for only my ability to earn, or earned tangible assets. I think many of us are in the same boat there, and do what we can to guard against becoming a victim. I am open to dating a woman whether she's a homemaker, hairstylist, airline pilot, flight attendant, doctor, attorney, fitness instructor, athlete.......etc. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:43:47 PM | I didn't say that being educated = sanity. But it sure as heck does not increase the incidence of serious mental disease either. There is a possibility of illness occuring in any person. But the incidence of Schizophrenia beginning after age 48 with no prior hx of mental illness is extremely low. Also Hx of serious mental illness is grounds for the State not to renew medical license here in Oklahoma so I've actually never met a practicing physician with Schizophrenia or any other psychosis. Also most physicians and other educated professionals have health and disability insurances to pay the bills even if disabled for the rest of their career. As a Veteran your brother would have qualified for disability income that others would not be able to receive.
Education and a sizable income does not ensure healthy personal relationships, finances, happiness and contentment in life but having a partner with equal expectations and compatible lifestyle does not CAUSE unhappiness or discontentment either.
It is easy to find just one example of any situation but tell me, why are all the men here so bitter about how they fared in the divorce if its so great to marry someone with less income? If their wives had been earning the same income as they, both would have come away from the table with equal assets other than child support for the custodial parent.
I am open to dating people who are less educated and have less income than me but I'm just not eager to date people who I would have to support in order to continue my lifestyle or who have no formal education. The education level wouldn't matter as if the guy were one of those folks with a naturally "fit" mind. Compatible lifestyle still would. Lets face it. Most of us are here because we long for that other person to complete our life. That person that we can share our love with. That we can feel happy with just sitting and holding hands. But at the end of the day, if your being realistic, the world will intrude on that fairytale if the differences are just too great! | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:18:25 PM | Jana, your posts are so generic and singularly minded, my god. I am surprised your profile doesn't read...
SWF seeking SWM making $250,000 with an I.Q. of 160 or above. White collar only please, no disease or history of disease please, all applicanants must be perfect in every way...
We get the point Jana, but no one here is getting upset about it, weeding out the weak and inferior is your whole point. I am sure that all of those who do not list a proffesion will be glad to answer the question when it is put to them, Unless you ask mine.
Oh and by the way, divorce doesn't work that way either, find a place called reality and check out some books. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:21:58 PM | There could be any number of reasons a person hasn't listed anything in that space.
-they just don't feel it's important
-they have a career that can not be described easilly in a limited space
-they have a career which traditionally attracts gold-diggers, and they're trying to avoid them
-they may have a job which is considered by some to be demeaning
-they just never bothered filling in that space
-they wish for some privacy, and don't care to publicly broadcast their type of employment, or the name of their employer to the entire internet
-they'd rather let people get to know their personality first. Rather than be judged immediately by people who have pre-concieved notions about what a person's career says about them
-the list of possible reasons could be endless | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:35:59 PM |
There could be any number of reasons a person hasn't listed anything in that space.
-they just don't feel it's important
-they have a career that can not be described easilly in a limited space
-they have a career which traditionally attracts gold-diggers, and they're trying to avoid them
-they may have a job which is considered by some to be demeaning
-they just never bothered filling in that space
-they wish for some privacy, and don't care to publicly broadcast their type of employment, or the name of their employer to the entire internet
-they'd rather let people get to know their personality first. Rather than be judged immediately by people who have pre-concieved notions about what a person's career says about them
-the list of possible reasons could be endless
Thank you. I didn't read this whole thread... know why? It's stupid. What a stupid, stupid thing to care about.
People on these sites need to stop acting like they are owed this information being filled out on your profile. You don't know me; it's none of your damn business until I decide it is, and that is not likely to be before I've even met you and have never spoken with you.
Get a damn grip. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:50:31 PM | I think it is a personal choice of whether or not they want to list thier profession.
It isn't only about privacy but also I think people should have an interest in someone based on who they are, not what they do. I have seen profiles out here of men that state "doctor" or "lawyer" but have absolutely nothing written in thier profile yet they have a high favorite count. Why? They saw the profession and then saw $$.
Also I met a man out here that left that blank. After getting to know one another I asked him what he does and he told me he is a physcologist but doesn't like to tell people that because then they think he may be analzying them.
I do not have my profession stated on my profile. Instead in that spot it says "I Have One" meaning I work, I pay my bills and I support myself. If I get to know someone then I will explain to them what it is I do.
When I read men's profiles I honestly don't care if it is stated or not. The only thing I care about in that regard is are they able to support themselves because let's be honest here... no one wants to date someone that can't. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:57:09 PM |
We get the point Jana, but no one here is getting upset about it, ...
Thats just it spaz, you ARE spazzing out over the fact that some people, including folks other than me DO want to know the profession of those they are considering dating and don't want to have to ask. After all, I didn't start this thread so at least a few other people are in favor of listing info in the profession slot. I don't really give a damn whether you agree. I also don't care if anyone else at this site agrees. I would like to find someone compatible for a long term relationship. If I don't, thats fine. I would rather be alone than with the wrong guy. I'm happy as I am and will continue to be so with or without any man from POF. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/7/2008 3:47:22 PM | I've met guy's who make as much as $20.00/hr that leave their proffession blank so it doesn't automatically mean they're unemployed. I tell them they should put a proffession because they can use that as leverage since women put alot of stock in a guys wallet but they say they don't want that kind of woman (and who can blame them?)
Why do you care about a guy's proffession anyway, got a profile on one of those gold digger sites ;-) | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:50:30 PM | tsdtaln Said,
People on these sites need to stop acting like they are owed this information being filled out on your profile. You don't know me; it's none of your damn business until I decide it is, and that is not likely to be before I've even met you and have never spoken with you.
Well, What can i say? Can't get much clearer than this. Couldn't have said it better myself. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:11:01 PM | tsdtaln Said,
People on these sites need to stop acting like they are owed this information being filled out on your profile. You don't know me; it's none of your damn business until I decide it is, and that is not likely to be before I've even met you and have never spoken with you.
i agree with that too. there should be still some sense of "mystery" (and not the crazy kind) when you start chatting with a person. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:16:01 PM | I've got to agree with the 2 people above me.
tcdtaln's comment about the thread being stupid, and people needing to quit thinking they own your profile, was the best post of this thread.
it's none of your damn business until I decide it is, I've got to agree.
I have no problem telling a person, who I'm getting to know, what my profession is.
I just don't see a need to broadcast it to the entire internet.
Also, if someone refuses to contact me, based entirely on the fact that they don't know in advance what my profession is: then I'm not likely interested in getting to know them anyway.
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:29:01 AM | | Its hardly surprising that folk are leaving their professions off their profiles. Especially when theres a thread dedicated to the professions of ppl who you wouldnt date - included in that are sales, doctors, lawyers etc. Then what the **** do these picky people want? No wonder so many people are single. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:15:55 AM | I live in a small town and work in a public place and by not putting my "profession" in---it could help keep me from stalkers--because once I put my profession in that slot, I would be very easy to find.
I also don't look in the income part--because as long as he supports himself and children (if he has any) then I'm good with that. Because I support myself and my children.
I do have a degree and graduate hours---but am not working in a field related to that degree at all. Does that make me less intellegent? Would it make me more intellegent if I were working in a field related to that degree? I still have the same income---although the "other" profession has more prestige---I just got burned out and choose not to stay in that profession. I am a lot less stressed now and generally happier. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:39:54 PM | | Some guys might be in fairly prestigious fields with high earning potentials. They might leave out some of that information for fear of attracting gold diggers. I live in a university town with a lot of blond haired, big sunglasses wearing, ugg boots owning bimbos who are just at school to get their M.R.S. degrees. Oh yeah we're in gold digger country... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:35:00 PM | | Consealing one's job or profession if any, will likely be the beginning of an end game they're playing. If someone is defensive about, or unwilling to provide information as mundane as that, it may indicate an overall deceptive way of life for some......it's unlikely to be explained any other way that could make sense. One could likely expect a "lot of insecurities and gotcha" surfacing from them in the future. That's been my take and experience with people manipulating facts about themselves I've met over the years. By in large, they're not trustworthy of getting to know a forthcoming and genuine person.......especially when dating. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:14:09 PM | Sam R.
This is all i can say about this. To me there is a lot of dishonest people in the world. There are people out there just waiting for some dumb sucker to share to much information. I resent the implication that if a person is not willing to share what they do on a wide open web site that we who don't do it are not trustworthy. To me it shows a persons intelligence when they keep some things to themselves and not go around blabbing about themselves and the job they do and how much money they make. Also about how successful they are especially on the Internet. Who knows, I may be nothing but a lowly paper delivery guy at the AJC. Then who knows, I might be a reporter, I might be on the board of directors. Then again, I might be the guy who sweeps the directors office. Either way you cut it, It's nobody's business until i say it is. If that makes me untrustworthy, Then so be it. But nobody is going to know exactly what i do until i have talked to them and if "I" see fit then i will tell them in private. But never on the Internet. Any time you post to much information on any website you are opening yourself up to being played or scammed. Sorry folks, Just plain common sense. If there are women here on POF that will not talk to me because i refuse to share private information on my profile without talking to the person first. Well, To me that sounds like a woman that isn't trustworthy. Not the right kind of woman for me . | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:49:59 PM | People can choose who and where they disclose any personal information. Just because they don't broadcast everything to the world means nothing.
There's no requirement for people to disclose any information to you or anyone else. Just because you'd like to know their job doesn't mean you have a right to know and that they should automatically tell you or put it out there for the world to see.
No one owes you any kind of personal information and I don't know why anyone would act like they have a right to it from the start. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:55:46 AM | | It's one of those things that if you want to know,then write and ask. If you don't like my profession, move on. But thanks for the interest to at least ask. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:03:18 PM | | If you established a writing relationship, you could always ask. Start with how your day was.... then ask him how his was... then, ask him what he does for a living. Some people in law enforcement and private I's, need to remain confidential. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:12:21 PM | From the looks of things, some people at the very least seem to be hiding out......from what or who? Who knows? I've never encountered a bit of trouble from anyone on earth knowing my profession.
Many people have a delinquent present or past, that can catch up to them if they disclose any information about themselves.......yeah, that's my kinda date. LOL! | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:14:31 AM |
I've got to agree with the 2 people above me.
tcdtaln's comment about the thread being stupid, and people needing to quit thinking they own your profile, was the best post of this thread.
it's none of your damn business until I decide it is,
I've got to agree.
I have no problem telling a person, who I'm getting to know, what my profession is.
I just don't see a need to broadcast it to the entire internet.
Also, if someone refuses to contact me, based entirely on the fact that they don't know in advance what my profession is: then I'm not likely interested in getting to know them anyway.[/quqote]
I agree that anyone has the choice to not include their profession and that's fine, but these reasons are silly. You can put whatever in that you want...if you're the owner of GM say management...if you're a research analyst say research. Is that giving so much away that it's threatening anyone? Are either giving enough away so gold diggers and gigolos can cozy up? All it's doing is giving one more bit of information that gives no detail but enough to spark some interest--it's compromising no one in any way shape or form.
It's a good thing the posters who don't want to put their professions down don't want to speak to anyone who it's important to because we feel the same about your decision to not include it. | |
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