| Queen of the universe
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:35:07 AM | | i don't reject guys solely based on his profession, so it's not a requirement that he put it on his page. jobs are major factors in lifestyle, but you can share info as you talk without putting it out there for all the world to see. that is why i don't list my profession per se. professional reasons, and i don't always tell guys immediately either exactly what i do and where i do it. but i do tell guys so they will know. it has nothing to do with how much $$$ they make or don't make or i make or don't make. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:49:30 AM | So someone puts college professor or Banking Investment as their profession....wow how impressive.......oh wait.......it doesnt say they heav been out of work for 18 months and are now working under the table cleaning a bar at night.
I'd rather have it left blank......Things like that can be dicussed after a few conversations. I probably would want to know what their interests are before their profession. Do they own a home or are they in an apartment with a roomie to share expenses? That tells a lot. But, these are all things to find out as two people are talking. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:08:33 PM | I look at the profession for a series of reasons - - -
one it does say a lot about someone - - - -
and you can say all you want - - but America has a Class system - - -
we tend to be looking for someone in our class range - - - -
this relates to education levels, life desires and goals, interests - - and the list goes on and on.
So, why would I as a professional Engineer self employed consultant - - be interested in a woman that has been on welfare for 25 years - - - or is proud to be a mini market clerk for the past 15 years - - - - she has her life style, her priorities, most likely they are not going to match with mine - - - -
If I see she is a teacher - - dental assistant, accountant etc, it says that she is in the normal range of what interests me. Expect from prior experience dating a few hair dressers. I have learned to stay away from them (3 times that I can remember)
So I use it to see something about her - - just as she would with me - - -
You say that income should not matter - - - I agree as long as it is above what is needed to live - - - Why would a professional teacher or accountant want to get involved with an $8 min market worker - - - or a part time laborer at min wage - - - -
and guess what - - in talking with women in my area - - they all have had or know of someone that got involved with a man that in short time lost his job and for reason after reason never is able to find an job and she finds herself supporting the bum.
So this goes on the check list - - - does he smoke, is he single (ah really single), is he looking for a one night fling, does he do drugs, does he have a job - - - and if so that means he might have a car also to take me out instead of my having to take him out all the time.
in this woman, are not really so worried about what type of job he has but that he has one and has been able to have it for years and is never out of work for long periods of time - - So she knows if she gets involved with him that creditors will not be calling every week - -
and by the time the man is in his 30's should be more than a part time mini market worker. and by the time that he is in his late forties and 50's should have something saved up - - I mean why should she who has worked for years to get to where she is today - - get involved with a man that will simply drain her - -
I meet a lady like this a couple of years ago - - - just above entry level job at a retail store,
old car with paint fading and peeling, living with her mother to save money(dodging creditors) - no cash or net work - - - oh she tried to get me in bed and start partying with her - - - So yes, I check to see this about her - - does she like me or does she like the fact that I can make her retirement better - - - - she had nothing - - no retirement - min Social Security - - etc. - - me home owner, nice care - - run a company - - - it was not about love -
So yes, I check, we all check - - - a lot of men in the 50's are scared - - they failed to save anything for retirement and are going rich women need loving too - - - and women have come to realize this - - - - so they check - - - | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:34:46 PM |
we tend to be looking for someone in our class range - - - -
I disagree. Class? Where?
I prefer to look for someone in my character range. Finances can change with circumstances thruout one's life, but our character is what gives us true value. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:43:24 PM |
Men leave the profession blank mainly because it weeds out the superficial woman. Is it really superficial not to want to date a man in my age range that is working at the counter at the 7-11? Or is it wise to want to date a man who has shown dedication to his career, some motivation and a level of education that might make him more compatible with myself? Overall I find that men who love their jobs, are more contented beasts overall.
I think that one's choice of career shows a certain amount of character as well. Particularly those in careers that help other people. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:52:19 PM | Most people date within their socioeconomic class,
although some women reach higher, usually depending
on how good looking they are. Men for the most part,
can't do this!
Many women's profiles are very vague "health care" or
have cute sayings as well. A popular one :Occupation "Got One" | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:58:42 PM | | wow; when i see profession blank, i only assume that he/she had some reason to leave it blank, not necessarily say oh therefore it must be such and such and therefore they are worthy of my time or not. relationships are not about buying and selling to me, but i've known and see soooooo many men who see it that way. wow; i would date someone who has worked at a minit mart if he treats me right, as opposed to "professional" men who do not. i know professionals who are sooo superficial i wouldn't deal with them in dating at all, but some men who have nonprofessional jobs are the "nice guys" hah. and some know how to fix fridges too, lol. and it seems that professional men are willing to date alot of those minit mart clerks with/without kids as long as they meet the stick figure status standard. i am amazed at what people say they require to date somebody or assumptions made about that by others just based on the profession field. my $0.02 | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:11:25 PM | and fyi, there are men who want to date women who make more money than themselves. maybe you all did not know that?
i just don't look at a man's work or income as the most important criteria. sometimes, when a man has this " job", he assumes that all women want him for that. i, for one, would not. and i would not expect a man to want me just because i have a particular "job" or not, esp because "jobs" change.
i've walked away from a very wealthy guy because i was not attracted to him. i would be in a very different position today if i had looked at relationships like buying and selling. and another very wealthy guy, he regularly told me i was beautiful, but apparently i didn't meet his social pedigree requirement and he instead dated a woman that even he thought was so ugly he made her change her whole looks before he married her, but she did meet the required pedigree.?????? so i've been reeeeeely burned by even considering men with more money than me. social "class" does not equal real "class". | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:24:01 PM | | and what about all those men in their "40s & 50s" who have been divorced and their ex got the house, most of the savings, etc.?????? does that mean that they all would not be worthy for a woman to date? so they all should spend the next 30 or 40 years of their lives trying to accumulate money and then they'll be worthy enough for a woman to date??? yes, if having money is what makes a man worthy to date....for me, it takes more than money. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:26:48 PM | So, why would I as a professional Engineer self employed consultant - - be interested in a woman that has been on welfare for 25 years - - - or is proud to be a mini market clerk for the past 15 years - - - - she has her life style, her priorities, most likely they are not going to match with mine
Yea but her character, values and morals may just blows yours out of the water.....
Self employed engineer of the month does not automatically correlate to sweetheart/super nice guy of the month......
Peace | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:58:46 PM | Given how many of the ladies here on Fish have Profiles that are vague in the extreme, I'll have to go with *nothing*.
Although I *have* gotten far more interest from the ladies when I've listed the more *professional* aspects of my working life than the humourous bit that is there now. *What do you do?/How successful are you?* seem to be the two most common questions... It's somewhat amusing how much value is placed on that. :(
Seriously? How important is it what a person does to pay the bills, especially when (as one earlier Poster pointed out) there are many tradespeople who are very successful business owners. How much are you really going to get from what a person puts in the little box online? Now how much are you going to get when you actually talk with them and find out what's behind that little box?
Who knows where a simple conversation will lead...? Nowhere I guess, if you judge people before you even know their name... :(
My grandparents were great friends, despite being from different backgrounds. My dad's dad drove a bulldozer and ran trucking company, whereas my mom's dad was a provincial court judge. Massive differences in education and experience, yet they were good friends. Never once did they go looking for reasons why they *shouldn't* get along...
Yet people here on Fish are so quick to decide that they *wouldn't* get along with someone of *X* group. A friend of mine on met her guy on here and he was the exact opposite of her *list*. No university education, no professional designation, not a single item on her list. He just worked his way from the bottom to the number three position in a rather large technical outfit. All the lawyers and accountants (etc) that she dated before him were (by her estimation) complete duds.
Oh well... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:35:46 PM |
If my profession matters, I don't need to know her. If she's primarily interested in my profession, she's not interested in me.
Same for me, for guys, anyway.
I started my profile with my photo and profession up. Didn't even last a month before I was tired of the insanely high percentage of tards, pr1cks, a$$hats, etc.
I see photos that are on people's profiles but I don't look for them, I only see them while they shoot up the screen going for the guy's profile. After reading his profile I glance at his stats.
I'd care if he did something illegal, but other than that I haven't the slightest care about what he does for a living. PeTA pays lawyers and not all of them are members of PeTA. Some people are their job, some people aren't.
If you are going to judge someone by the job they have you should date more unemployed people so you can guide them into what job you want them to have. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:52:12 PM | here is a question for the poster and that cute little hotshot on the other pages.
i would think that there are alot of people on this site that has money and they no longer work. so they leave profession blank,
the real question is just what the hell are they supposed to put in that box, they are not hiding a thing.
I think you girls are just looking for something to bit ch about and cause trouble.
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:56:36 PM |
we tend to be looking for someone in our class range - - - -
I disagree. Class? Where?
I prefer to look for someone in my character range. Finances can change with circumstances thruout one's life, but our character is what gives us true value.
I would wonder who could disagree with this? Many, apparently. I overestimate people
Re the post above the one I quoted - I agree with that. Class? Where? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:01:25 PM | Similar thread
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/9940935datingPostpage3.aspx#9946949
Part of it is that most men get a job to make money to spend on the rest of our lives. We don't all have an illustrious 'career' (despite the enormous number of women who prefer an 'ambitious guy climbing the career ladder to the top'). We have a 'job'. We don't like to be painted into a box where what we do to pay the bills defines all of who we are. Guys with impressive incomes don't post our job because we don't want golddiggers coming after us. Guys with jobs that could possibly be construed as not typically masculine professions will avoid mentioning it until you get to know us and know why we chose that field. Guys with lesser impressive positions won't list them because it doesn't indicate the eventual title they expect to acquire. Doesn't leave a lot, does it? Me, I just say that I work full time, I'm not in debt, and I've never been unemployed. That should be adequate. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:08:32 PM | I made these comments to high light a point - - -
people have different interest, desires, concepts of life - - -
and intelligent levels and highly varying levels of education.
and we tend to go to what we are - - to the same level of intelligence, education and background - - for that is what we understand - -
how often have you seen the President of a large company marry a woman on the production line - - - his administrative assistant yes - - for she would have been picked for her skills and abilities - -
I do not claim to be the engineer of the month - - - I am simply me - - - who likes to dress up for formal events once in while - - sounds like someone does not like people that own tux's or are educated
Jim P.
my comment
So, why would I as a professional Engineer self employed consultant - - be interested in a woman that has been on welfare for 25 years - - - or is proud to be a mini market clerk for the past 15 years - - - - she has her life style, her priorities, most likely they are not going to match with mine
response
Yea but her character, values and morals may just blows yours out of the water.....
Self employed engineer of the month does not automatically correlate to sweetheart/super nice guy of the month......
Peace | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:18:08 PM | (I guess there are some women online who select men by profession and guys with something to lose tend to not want to say exactly.)
mrvitamix - now that is the funniest thing I ever heard, women check out men for their pay cheque.
OK OK OK - yes very very rich men get the beautiful girls Hugh Heffner and the like, but men on a singles site, and a free singles site at that, ffs they ain't going to be earning enough to make a difference to anyones life, let alone some woman they are, or are not going to date.
Thanks for the laugh.
I am with the girls on this - if people are hiding on their profile, then there are probs from the start, and as the OP says - best to be avoided 'BTBA' 
Men if you that worried about the pay cheque - be more selective about who you date, now that would be a good idea. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:20:37 PM | | OP, the "What else are they hiding?" question is exactly why I do list my job. I could understand that a person might not want to be defined by what they get payed for, and shouldn't have to disclose their entire life history in the profile. But still, when a person leaves that spot blank or says something evasive it does look like they are hiding something. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:27:58 PM | from his post
Although I *have* gotten far more interest from the ladies when I've listed the more *professional* aspects of my working life than the humourous bit that is there now. *What do you do?/How successful are you?* seem to be the two most common questions... It's somewhat amusing how much value is placed on that. :(
Seriously? How important is it what a person does to pay the bills, especially when (as one earlier Poster pointed out) there are many tradespeople who are very successful business owners. How much are you really going to get from what a person puts in the little box online? Now how much are you going to get when you actually talk with them and find out what's behind that little box?
I agree with this totally - - - it does not matter what he does as long as he can pay the bills and it is legal - - - -
in a single communication group - - once we were asked to write a singles ad (before the days of the internet) for the little nickel type of singles ad. only we were asked to write one that we would respond to - - so men wrote what they wanted to see in a woman, and woman to see in a man's. We broke into small groups - - - most of the women wrote this in theirs - - - financially secure - - - a small man - young man - stood up and said - - what do you mean - - Men have to be millionaires or something like that- - - all of the women responded in unison - - - "NO, It means have a Job" - - - - that is what it means - - a job better than a mini market clerk at the age of 30. They do not care if you are a plumber or not (most any away) - - as long as it pays the bills. The women simply do not want to work to support themselves and the man also - - they want a man that can pay his own way. and guess what - - they have found a lot that can not - - or will not or desire not to - -
Now an other factor to realize is the pool of good catches gets smaller as we age past the dating and pairing off age of the 20 something - - - the ones that know what they are doing found a good match and are still with that person - - - so what is left - - -
and guys - - how long does it take to make her yours if she is a good one - - and ladies - - if you see a good guy - - a good match / catch - - how long does it take you to grab him and take him out of the pool of fish - - - so what is left - - - -
Women have long complained about men over 40 - - - - they look at what is left, a lot of them drink to much - - or into drugs - - or do not have a job or can not keep one - - or are gay - - and oh yea - married and wanting something on the side or simply want to get quickie - - - So what is left
So they ask questions and check things out - - just to be sure - - - if he is into drinking too much - - or drugs - - high chance he does not have a job - - - or a decent job - - - So they ask before getting involved - - - - I do not blame them
I look at her to see what I can see about her also - - - now as a professional - college educated person - - would I want to date the mini market clerk that has not graduated from HS, or a teacher or realitor, or other professional field - - - that is in the same class or standing or aspect in life - - - for this same reason - I am not interested in a young chick for she is not at the same point as I am in my life - - - she is after kids and other aspects, I have raised mine, and looking forward to retirement and saving for it. She will not be - - so too many life style differences are present for it to work out - - - and before you yell again at me - - I am 57, what would I be doing with a 20 or so year old girl - - - I do not belong to the FLDS or their concepts of taking child brides - - - women have so much more to offer than simply that - - -
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:34:25 PM | Some men like to complain and explain away - - -
in Washington it is a common property state
now a lot depends upon the situation - - if he had a job etc
but she gets half of the house value increase since they got together
she gets half of the stocks and bonds - - etc.
but only half - - - that is right only half
now if she wants the house she has to pay him for his half of the house - -
this is offset by the amount of savings she does not get - - -
if she wants the house and not enough savings goes to her - - she gets to keep the house for 5 years - - after the 5 years she has to pay him his half with interest - - - by then she should have recovered from the separation - get herself a decent job - worked her way up the pay scale a bit - - and be able to get a loan on the house as the house should have gone up at the same time - - -
I know a lady that her man complains about her taking all of his money to the kids - - - yep she got a chunk but he got the house - - - and in effect had to take a big hit to pay her off - - pay her for his half - - - - but does not say that to the kids - - -
and some men say that she got it all to explain why they do not have anything now - - -
and make it sound like that they did and this is only a setback - - - ah 5 years later - - 10 years later - - - - words are cheap - - - stories are easy to tell - - -
Justifications occur all the time - - by both men and women - - -
Jim P | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:39:40 PM | | What a man does for a living would only concern me if it would get in the way of a relationship. Other than that I don't equate how much education a man has or what he does for a living with how intelligent he is or how compatible we will be; so having a blank profession doesn't bother me a bit. Now if he is into some secret squirrel type stuff, or tells me he didn't list his profession because he was in the witness protection program, I would back away from him very slowly. | |
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