| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:56:51 PM | wow, as for a community property state, it's irrelevant how those women got their shares of divorce settlements; my point is that those guys who have been through that aren't at the same place financially as someone who has not been through that, so does that make them not worthy of a woman??? also, guys that are in bad financial situations for whatever reason can post their jobs, but does that make them worthy of a woman??
yes, i've seen a plant manager marry a line person; not very often but i have seen it.
wow, i just can't think more highly of a man because he has such and such "job". maybe he had great mentors or free college or whatever or maybe he worked nights and weekends at that minit mart to get through college by himself, or put his ex-wife through college and she then dumped him. i've seen too many of such men who assume a woman wants them for that and treat women accordingly. i am soooo not impressed by that.
not all women in any age range want kids, no matter where they work or don't work. maybe you didn't know that.
i know lots of men 50+ who are trying to get the 20s, 30s; hence my comments about that issue elsewhere, and nice attractive women in 30s 40s sit single. Just look through some of the men's pages here and look at the mail restrictions and/or preferences. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:06:23 PM | as to whether a guy drinks or not, i believe there is a separate field to disclose that information, besides the profession field. i know "professional" men who drink, drink too much,  smoke, do drugs, love vegas and strippers anywhere, and lots of other things that i would run far from. but if i judged them based on their "jobs" then i would think they would be what i'm looking for. it just takes more than that for me. i do know that there are some women, both online and offline, who will take anything, though. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:09:54 PM | | when i see a guy with profession blank, if we talk for awhile and he hasn't already told me, then i will ask. because lifestyles can be different, such as extended travel, being on-call, etc. but i would never expect him to post it for all the world to see in order for me to consider him a potential date without even knowing him. and i never dreamed that a man would make assumptions about me based on whether i disclose a job or not, much less on what the job is. it helps explain why men in person do what they do sometimes, though. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:20:28 PM | I have encountered 3 different types of men who do not list profession.
1) Those for whom publicity of belonging to an online dating site would cause problems on the job.
2) Those without a job who are looking for a free place to live.
3) Those who wish to avoid the female version of #2.
Guess which one I'm going to avoid.
I have never asked a man what he does. He'll tell me when he is damned good and ready.
As for that socioeconomic class crap--I have a PhD and married a dentist. We met in college. Considering that I'm on this site-guess how well that went. In contrast, the man I dated for a year that worked at a car wash was probably the most respectful man I ever met.
Even so, there are a couple of professions I avoid--doctors and lawyers. Because they are so class conscious and way too impressed with themselves. Who wants to be around that all the time. Oh wait, there are women who do want that, but not me, so they can look elsewhere.
To both men and women on this site, not listing a profession is definately not one of those deal breaker things. Get to know the person. Stop being so judgemental. You might be pleasantly surprised. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:49:23 PM | "If my profession matters, I don't need to know her. If she's primarily interested in my profession, she's not interested in me."
Touche'. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:42:07 PM | Great points there. Good food for thought.
Given the state of our economy right now, a person could lose their job while in the early stages of dating a stranger.
Maybe somebody should start a site for unemployed folks? It could nip the issue in the bud for everyone involved and help ease their tensions.  | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:35:33 PM | In my case, I work in a highly visible position for my company and in a what seems to be a very interesting industry. I keep it hidden to NOT get messages related to it, rather than messages from all the hotties looking for a date.
Admittedly I could put my "Official Title" in there, but then it would look like I'm in an industry that I'm not actually in.
Sometimes in social situations, I feel like a Doctor at a Hypochondriac’s Convention dodging everyone's "What do you do?" questions. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:20:23 AM |
I feel like a Doctor at a Hypochondriac’s Convention dodging everyone's "What do you do?" questions.
Thats really cute....but in a way true. People always tell me their medical ailments when they find out what I do. It seems like people with more education and better health insurance have been less likely to do so. Some folks just want to prove that they know more than all the physicians on the planet. I'm sure they do know more than me about many things as I am sort of an idiot savant but they need not feel compelled to prove it. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:16:56 AM | Have you ever thought that a lot of people dont list their profession because it is a way to weed out potential gold diggers?..YES!!..THEY ARE OUT THERE!
Most of the time when you have a conversation with someone and you ask them what they do..they will tell you anyway..Its not like they are hiding anything. They just dont want to advertise.
If it bothers you that much...then just stick to the profiles with pics of fancy cars and the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ symbols all over thier profiles | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:53:19 PM | I don't want a woman who's focused on my profession. She might be after my job.
I'm looking for a lady millionairess business owner who's looking for a husband-cum-personal-assistant by the way. If there are any out there. I want to live to a standard my imagination has become accustomed to.
I pretty much ignore any woman who seems too interested in a 'thing' about me. I know a guy who's a cleaner who's also an accomplished artist - a guy who's a factory worker who's also a wood carver and several people who have day jobs and run businesses on the side.
I know teachers who are immoral and highly religious prudes who will sleep with any woman willing.
You really can't fully trust anything anyone puts in their profile. I had one lady tell me she was the manager of a travel agent's who turned out to be a prostitute and a real nutter.
As for 'impressing' people or 'ladies moving on' - I'm not bothered in the slightest. There's a bigger picture to build rather than 'what job do they do'. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:54:31 PM | | OP, mine isn't blank, but apparently technical writer is a huge turn off. Maybe guys are afraid that their profession will turn women off as well? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:21:05 PM | For me, when my profile was visible my profession was either blank or some smarta$$ remark because until you get to know me, what I do for a living is none of your business. It isn't about hiding it or deception, it is about her getting to know me instead of my wallet (or the possibilities it contains). I would rather her get to know me and who I am as a person before what I do for a living.
Now, for those that will say I am stereotyping women, I bet you all do something to protect yourselves based on your past experiences with those you have dated. | |
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ebre1
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 92 | |
| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:29:55 PM | | Shouldn't matter really. I used to be caught up in all that BS about income and type of job because I have an MSc and worked in IT. Now I've been unemployed for year and couldn't care less, I'm enjoying myself. I suggest everyone does it, for a while at least. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:31:44 PM | To the OP:-
People tend to place a great deal of significance upon what a person does for a living.
The perfect example is that profession is placed near the top of the profile page.
The general answer is obvious:
Professional = money+ success + clean living etc
Burger flipper = pathetic + stupid
Unemployed = The 8th deadly sin. (as if there is anyone who has never been unemployed)
Society makes us define each other by our social status (money) rather than whether we are actually happy, fun, nice people and enjoying life. It doesn't matter where you have been, what you have done, how you treat people, how you have lived. All that matters, to a lot of people, is profession.
Personally, anyone who asks me what I do for a living before they know anything else about me is just not worth talking to.
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:10:42 PM | "What else are they hiding?"
I don't know, I really am a International Woman of Mystery so I can't answer this. I also don't want to find some gold digging man who is only interested in me for my money.
 
I do agree with this statement though....
Most of the time when you have a conversation with someone and you ask them what they do..they will tell you anyway..Its not like they are hiding anything. They just dont want to advertise.
Some people just don't like to advertise what they do for a living. Everyone has a reason for what they put in their profile. If you are curious ...just ask! | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:41:17 PM | I think this question can work both ways. I never gave it a thought, not filling in the blank, on my profile. On the one hand, someone may be looking out for the "gold digger" But honestly, how many people make so much money that it has to be a concern of those that we have come across on POF? It isnt like millionares are on this site.
Then, there are the ones, who wont list their jobs, because, they maybe feel inferior, or lacking in that area. Maybe they are at or below the poverty level. It, to me, is just another one of those things to find out, before I decide to date someone. And it could save a lot of time, just filling in the blank. Whether the occupation is a waitor, at the age of 50, a chemistry professor, or doctor, or CEO, just knowing these things, gives me a better idea of the person. Whether we are in the same ball park or not. What the potential for relocating may be. are they educated, physical, artsy, a number cruncher? Otherwise we go through weeks of messages, only to find out he or she, is without any goals, or ambitions.
The guy in walmarts can work anywhere, where as the CEO, is usually restricted to his area. It just saves time and effort, knowing the potential for relocation. and the future of any financial responsiblities. honestly, that stock boy at walmarts, at the age of 50, bearing an extreme situation, has not done alot with his life so far, and probably doesnt have many financial plans in the future. What will he do with my 401K? What a person does, says a lot about them, are they hiding it, ashamed of it? I think these things when I read profiles. So sue me. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:43:42 PM | What is the big deal? Even when meeting someone in ordinary Real life, one of the basic questions asked is 'What do you do for a living?' This is about Openness and Honesty, not about the size of your wallet. I have filled out MY POF profile in it's entirety, and I expect the same courtesy. (Tip: Most women nowadays have Our Own careers & money, we don't need or want yours!)
My personal experience is that men who are vague about basic things like their occupation, children etc. Do indeed have something to hide & it isn't anything good. I am not willing to become acquainted with someone who hides basic information - it makes me think "What ELSE are you hiding? and if I date you, what will you be hiding from me in the future?" | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:39:18 AM | Agreed forum101 and gingersnap...I want to see what a man does for a living because it tells me something about them. Are they are carer, are they a businessman, are they in the armed forces...it's part of who they are and quite frankly that's one of the first things that I look at when I see a profile.
I don't want their money...I want them to have enough so we can enjoy ourselves, but what's theirs is theirs and what's mine is mine. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:51:02 AM | COMMUNITY PROPERTY AFTER ONE CHAT ON PLENTY OF FISH.
Oh My God - have things got that bad in the dating world,
Loz shuts up - not sharing what I got with no one | |
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