| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:02:00 AM |
I want to see what a man does for a living because it tells me something about them.
In that case I'd rather prefer a "style of interiour design" slot... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:42:32 PM | | Personally, I think it depends on what one is looking for. For long term, yes, the economic status has some importance, for simple friendship it doesn't, for an e-mail conversation it does not either. One can always discuss this things along the way. But it is a choice and a preference. I would understand if somebody wanted to leave the field blank....maybe he/she only wants his/her special person to know, not the whole world or everybody in the forums. I leave my religion under 'others' for instance, because I do not want to be pre-judged; I leave my job preferences vague for the same reason. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:04:40 PM | profession > income > vampire
There are not a few women online whose aim is to bag a meal ticket. I once posted a humorous blurb mentioning my vast international holdings, and within minutes found several sultry emails had arrived. This post will no doubt have the same effect, bless their hearts. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:19:34 PM | Funny you make that statement. I recently asked that question to a woman on this site because I noticed the same thing. She did respond but to tell you the truth I felt as if I still don't know why people, both men and women skirt the question cute or not?
John | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:17:23 PM | Everyone acts like people want your money if they want to know what you do. Well I don't want anyone's money.
For instance, John in message #104 is a teacher from California. Thats great! It tells me that he is educated, and for the most part pretty selfless and compassionate since most Teachers work very hard and are paid way less than they are worth. Teachers are great and letting us know he is one tells us alot about him. Unless they pay Teachers in California alot more than they do Teachers anywhere else, you can be pretty sure that John is not rich. At least not from teaching. Does that matter? NO!! Fact is as a physician I would most probably have more in common with a Teacher than I would with many other people in more lucrative professions. So you see how it is valuable to know Johns profession!
So are there selfless, dedicated, intelligent people who work as store clerks, or bus drivers or ditch diggers???? Sure there are! But the likelihood of them having alot in common with me, a physician, is limited and at age 48 I would prefer not to have to spend all that much time just looking for someone compatible so having more info from the beginning is helpful. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:36:06 PM |
But the likelihood of them having alot in common with me, a physician, is limited and at age 48 I would prefer not to have to spend all that much time just looking for someone compatible so having more info from the beginning is helpful.
You persuaded me to change my listed profession from time traveler darn it. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:44:44 PM | | Wise move Prince. Being a Computer guru with an MBA sort of helps add multidimensional character to the mohawk and lavender hair type persona. Lets folks know your a free spirit and an "original" but not totally irresponsible. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:38:11 PM | | I have my profession posted on my profile but I have considered leaving it blank because of rude, ignorant, and offensive emails I've gotten because of it. I don't think there is anything wrong with leaving it blank. You can always just ask. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:16:02 PM | For anyone who believes that higher education, or being a lawyer, doctor or an investment banker makes you any better than anybody else, I would have to tell them they have a bigger problem than needing to know what I do for a living. I am a professional, who has spent most of my working life working with CEO's, Lawyers and Investment Bankers and although most of these individuals were good, hard working people, there were some that were literally common criminals, white collar, but nonetheless criminals.
With that said, if you really feel as if someone's profession defines them, what do you say about the single mother who waitresses or scrubs floors to put her child through college? Or the man who digs ditches to feed his family? Or the man who picks up your garbage who supports his elderly parents? Honestly, I think people need to look less at the actual occupation and look at the work ethic and the circumstances which make up someone's life before proclaiming that you would have nothing in common with this person simply based on whether they have a "job" or a "profession." | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:11:26 PM | ^^^^^^
For anyone who believes that higher education, or being a lawyer, doctor or an investment banker makes you any better than anybody else, I would have to tell them they have a bigger problem than needing to know what I do for a living.
That's not where I'm coming from and the most hated question of mine is "what do you do for a living" In america we are an economic class based society, at least to the snooty people.
I like intelligent, real and open minded people regardless of profession. I listed my profession because I do like to hang out with educated/intelligent and/or open minded people and listing it will give me a better chance at making connections.
A lady with a professional degree and/or who is well read will grab my attention every time. Not because she is better than someone who's a dishwasher, waitress or clerk but because there is a greater chance of us having more things in common.
I don't watch tv on a regular basis, I don't kiss-ass at work, I don't follow celebrity news, I don't go to church and I could care less about sports. People who do the aforementioned things aren't better or worse than me, just different.
I paid my dues to get to where I am now with my own car, place and good job.
I have had some nasty brutish jobs and lived for five years in shack with no running water to get back on my feet and make it through my bachelors program. I've been in the army and been homeless twice. I've sacrificed a lot to get where I'm at and I don't feel the need to be shy about it.
Me wanting to spend time with educated, well rounded and intelligent ladies now is no different than someone who is a fitness nut who wants to spend time with in shape people. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:51:40 PM | ^^^^^ so if a totally smoking hot hard body college cheerleader who recently got fired from her job as a grocery bagger because she was incompetent and this hottie was crazy nuttso about you, wanted a relationship with you, hang out with you and wanted to rock your world and satisfy your every manly desire ....... you would tell her to politely hit the road ?
Peace | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:28:42 PM |
^^^^^ so if a totally smoking hot hard body college cheerleader who recently got fired from her job as a grocery bagger because she was incompetent and this hottie was crazy nuttso about you, wanted a relationship with you, hang out with you and wanted to rock your world and satisfy your every manly desire ....... you would tell her to politely hit the road ?
First I'd buy a lottery ticket. 
Then I would check to make sure that all the kitchen knives and sharp implements are locked and hidden in case she's a nutter.
The odds of this happening to me are really quite low. I'm a fat computer geek and I've got a snowballs chance with either thing with women but together? Its like being the anti-poon in most situations. | |
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| Queen of the universe
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:35:56 PM | | I dont put my picture in my profile its not because im ugly its because i signed up here last week, i saw the guy i was dating recently i was pissed when he viewed me so i closed my profile and deleted my picture--but if someone would ask me about my picture--im willing to show it. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 7:06:38 PM | I think some of you are missing the point. I don't think anyones saying a person is less valuable because they are unemployed, or employed as a clerk, ect... The point is that profession is just one more bit of information to help people get an idea of whether they might be compatible with the other person.
For example, why list body size or enter photos? Why not just leave it to the imagination until you meet the person? Because it allows you to write to , or meet people who you believe you would be the most compatible with. Without photos or weight categories, people would end up talking to a lot of people and actually having to judge them based on their personality and conversation instead of their appearance. But when they finally met them they would find that as much as they might like them as a friend they have more stringent requirements for their life partner.
Why is listing profession any different? What if, for example, I had the hots for guys that work in construction and wear a hard hat. Would it be such a crime for me to be able to know before writing them whether they were likely to be my dream man? What is the difference between that and checking the photos and weight listings for that hard body.
The difference is how the individual feels about their profession, or their body size, or their appearance. You rarely see someone tall complain about women rejecting short guys. Someone thin rarely complains about men rejecting fat women. Someone employed in a fullfilling lucrative career rarely complains about others rejecting the unemployed or underemployed.
On another thread a man employed in a min wage job was upset because professional women reject him. He stated that his daughter was a professional so why isn't he considered "good enough" for a professional. My answer would be a question. Why would a man work hard digging ditches to send his daughter to college? So that she could have an easier life than he had? If thats the case, would he want her to then marry a ditch digger and have just as hard of a life as he had despite all his sacrifices?
You see.....It depends on your viewpoint! | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:13:34 PM |
For example, why list body size or enter photos?
I don't see how those can even compare to profession. I really don't know what a job has to do with compatibility or attraction, for that matter. If someone is working a dead end job at Burger King as a cashier at 35, I'd say their job is less of a problem and their ambition is more of the problem.
Some people have issues with some careers, sure, but I'd say that's probably a lot less likely to be a problem compared to how hardassed people are about looks. I don't think I've ever looked at someone and pulled them out because they weren't in a certain profession or whatever.
If someone is a lawyer, how is that any different from someone working as a secretary or whatever? The time spent at the job? They could work just as long at either job, so that's not really something that can be said based entirely on their chosen career. It's more likely someone would have a problem with someone being a stripper or in the porn industry than other jobs, how likely are those to come up?
People look at others and think 'must be skinny'. I don't think anyone looks at someone and says 'must be lawyer' or anything like that.
Maybe that's just me that can't see the connection between attraction or compatibility based on looks or personality when compared to profession... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:55:03 PM |
With that said, if you really feel as if someone's profession defines them, what do you say about the single mother who waitresses or scrubs floors to put her child through college? Or the man who digs ditches to feed his family? Or the man who picks up your garbage who supports his elderly parents? Honestly, I think people need to look less at the actual occupation and look at the work ethic and the circumstances which make up someone's life before proclaiming that you would have nothing in common with this person simply based on whether they have a "job" or a "profession."
When reading this the term "respect" crossed my mind. Lots of it. So much more than for someone who took dads company over, claiming maybe even really believing he accomplished anything. I remember a guy in school who sat right beside me. It was always hard for him to learn and I know how hard he tried. Success didn't come easy, but if so it was a celebration of happiness and it was fun to share this with him.
The people you mentioned don't wait until some luck comes around, if you are afraid of gold diggers you may like to stick with them, if you want to know someone who makes the best of what life comes up with this would be an indication that you have found one.
Yet a word about the moms... the guys who raised kids at least for a while got a clue about the job a mother does I think. This job never really ends, it's 24/7, including public holidays. It requires lots of different qualifications. And if this wouldn't be enough... not only a few wait for their mature kid coming home from work to feed them too, several ways...
Not sure whether the term respect hits the mark well enough. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:13:04 AM |
I don't see how those can even compare to profession. I really don't know what a job has to do with compatibility or attraction, for that matter.
This is because your only 21 and have not really started your career yet. You don't know how big an influence on a persons life their career can have. Personally, I don't think "must be skinny" or Tall, or rich ect... Infact finding someone with things in common mentally would be more improtant to me.
Also important is finding someone compatible with my lifestyle. I like to travel. If I want to go to Europe next summer and want company, will I have to pay that companions airline ticket because he works for min wage and can't afford it? Or is he a CEO workaholic and the chance of us ever getting to go out of town on a Vacation is slim to none?
So, OK, its not important to you and quite frankly I could care less if a 21 year old kid like you lists his profession, but it is reasonably important to some of us. I actually wish it was possible to search the profiles based on profession. For some of us it is important. Gold digging? Not at all! Superficial? Maybe...but no more so than looking at weight or height. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:10:49 AM | What are we evolving to? That just a simple question like "what do you do for a living"? is attacked? And we are made out to be gold digging, money grabbers, or thinking we are better than others. Nobody said that, at all. Another "ego" area to work through. I happen to like what I do, and I am not ashamed of what I do, I work hard, and I've worked hard to get to this point. What is so wrong with wanting someone who has done the same? In the real world, your profession, your income, looks, values, morals, your past, your smoking, and other bad habits, and God forbid, your weight, are all considered in any potential relationship. Get over it. It is the way it is. If you dont feel good about posting your profession, if you are in some way insecure about it, then, maybe you need to change it to something you are proud of. A lot of my self worth comes from my job. It has given me the ability to raise my children a little bit better than just getting by. How sad to go to work 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year, and do something that doesnt make you feel good, that you dont want to admit to doing, that your afraid to be judged on.
There are a few professions, I wouldnt date. The police (too dangerous) a stripper, semi driver--gone too much; farmer- been there, done that, dont want to again. Professional athlete, Doctor, or Lawyer, CEO. no offense to the doctor commenting in these forums, but the education and income, and experiences would be a bit daunting to a country nurse, like me, who has never even been out of the country. Maybe I wouldnt always remember the correct fork to use, or the appropriate wine to order. I know this because I know me. No judgement on everybody else, they do what they have to do, or want to do. So do I.
The question of occupation is going to come up, at some time or another. Why not just be upfront about it? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:26:38 AM | | I have also noticed that, and they also don't just tell you. It doesn't bother me, though. Some profiles don't say much, but neither does mine. If they don't state ***anything about themselves, then I take it that they don't like to talk or aren't serious on here. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:32:12 AM | Roadpilot, you said.......If men are here on this site for a long term relationship, the subject should come up. I think a lot of women will pass them by and they may miss a great chance.
Why do you assume that 'a lot' of women will pass them by???
If that's the case, then I must be in the minority!!
Maybe it's another 'American' thing?.........not having a dig here, but I have never come across this question being asked in a British dating site forum, yet I do have quite a few male Americans who tell me that this is the case.
Quite frankly, I find it ridiculous. I do like a man with some degree of intelligence, but am not bothered what he does for a living, in fact it's the only thing I don't even notice on a profile. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:51:50 PM |
Maybe I wouldnt always remember the correct fork to use, or the appropriate wine to order. I know this because I know me.
Don't worry Forum 101. I'm sure your table manners are far superior to any Physicians or Attorneys. Anyone can do dinner and wine. Silverwear is always used starting farthest away from the plate. Bread plate left. Drink glass right. Red meat=Red wine. No elbows on the table. No picking the nose or any other part. Thats it! No rocket science involved. Most physicians I know have worse table manners and even worse bedside manner than anyone you would ever meet! LOL. But hey, Folks need to take pity on us and not make us eat alone our whole lives....
Oh and by the way, my undergrad degree was in nursing. I'm proud of being a nurse and although I put it on inactive when I got my medical license, I do still have my nursing license. Nurses make just as important of a contribution to medical care of the patient as the Doctor does. Sometimes more. When a patient is dying on Hospice the doctors care isn't really worth squat any longer other than to order pain meds. Its the nursing care that gives the patient and family what they need. | |
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