| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:13:32 PM | Thats great! It tells me that he is educated, and for the most part pretty selfless and compassionate since most Teachers work very hard and are paid way less than they are worth.
You know all this about someone because they are a teacher? Do you know how many teachers there are who teach because they want the summer off? I mean no disrespect to the teaching profession but for every hard working, kid loving teacher there is one who teaches to have the summer off.
So are there selfless, dedicated, intelligent people who work as store clerks, or bus drivers or ditch diggers???? Sure there are! But the likelihood of them having alot in common with me, a physician, is limited and at age 48 I would prefer not to have to spend all that much time just looking for someone compatible so having more info from the beginning is helpful.
How do you know this? Unless, you sit down with someone and really talk to them, learn the circumstances of their lives, invest the time in learning what makes them tick, how do you really know? Highly intelligent people know, that you can learn something from everyone, whether it be a physician or a ditch digger. As I said before, I have spent most of my my professional life around highly educated people and the funny thing is as book smart as they are, they don't seem to have a lot of common sense or street smarts for that matter. Some of the other qualities that are quite often missing are proper social skills, compassion, empathy and the ability to socialize with people that may be different from them. Not everyone in this world is cut out for college, not eveyone has the natural born inteeligence to succeed in the academic world. But you know that ditch digger who breaks his back to send his kids to college? Well, he does it because he has a huge heart and loves his kids and knows that true success in life is giving back, especially to those you love and I bet he didn't mind digging those ditches either and I bet he has read a book or two as well. If that doesn't sound like someone you woul d like to get to know, that is your loss. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:40:43 PM |
If that doesn't sound like someone you would like to get to know, that is your loss.
EXACTLY!!! Thats what I'm trying to say. I've been practicing medicine for 18 years and I'm willing to bet I've known more ditch diggers than you have. Most of them have been fine people but I don't want to Marry them.
You presume to know what I have and have not experienced or tried. I have paid my dues. I came from a poor family and didn't have anyone to pay my way in life. I've worked since I was 14. I worked my way through college and medical school. I don't owe you or anyone else anything and If I prefer to find a boyfriend who is NOT a ditch digger, that should be MY choice. If you wish to find a boyfriend who IS a ditch digger, You know what? Thats YOUR choice. So I would like him to list his profession so that you can find him with great ease! OK????
In actual fact, I WOULD be willing to date a ditch digger BUT only if he had written enough in his profile for me to tell that we might have something in common. Unlike you I don't have enough spare time to "sit down and really get to know" every guy on the internet. I already "sit down and really get to know " every patient I see every day and there just are not enough hours in the day. So I look at the whole package. Profession is part of that package. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:27:29 PM | Also important is finding someone compatible with my lifestyle. I like to travel. If I want to go to Europe next summer and want company, will I have to pay that companions airline ticket because he works for min wage and can't afford it? Or is he a CEO workaholic and the chance of us ever getting to go out of town on a Vacation is slim to none?
Again... that's more along the lines of how much time they have than simply profession. Obviously someone working for minimum wage has other things that you should be looking at, not the fact they're working at McDonald's taking people's money and giving them their change.
How does a profession affect anything here? It looks like a matter of time and money to me. Unless I missed something, that's what the problem would be.
This is because your only 21 and have not really started your career yet. You don't know how big an influence on a persons life their career can have.
Of course, I'm only 21, I'm not old enough to work or know how things work in 'the real world'. I'm still living happily in the dream land given to me by my parents' basement.
A workaholic is a workaholic, it doesn't matter what they do. A lack of money is a lack of money, no matter what you do. So how is a job the issue? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:46:45 AM | | Jana60...I'm completely with you. Everything you're saying I've said in other threads. My money is mine...his money is his, but he needs to have a profession that will allow our lifestyles to be similar. I know that won't be popular, but it's MY truth. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:32:07 AM | exciting1 Said
and what about all those men in their "40s & 50s" who have been divorced and their ex got the house, most of the savings, etc.?????? does that mean that they all would not be worthy for a woman to date? so they all should spend the next 30 or 40 years of their lives trying to accumulate money and then they'll be worthy enough for a woman to date??? yes, if having money is what makes a man worthy to date....for me, it takes more than money.
Thank you very much for saying this exciting 1
I have been around POF for almost a year now and i personally have seen women post there profiles stating what they wanted a man to make in the way of money, What kind of car they wanted him to drive, That his house be paid for and a whole host of other shallow things. It's for that reason that all i have on my profile is i work at the AJC. That's all. I don't say what i do there because i don't want every money hungry woman on here bugging me. exciting 1 sounds like the kind of woman that every man would love to find. I don't know her but i am bragging on her. The reason for it is because there are a lot of men on this site that have seen the same type of profiles posted as i have. What exciting 1 said is very refreshing to a lot of men. Anyway, I also don't feel like it's anyones business what i do as far as making money goes. I save that for when i have had a chance to get to know the woman a little bit. You know, Feel her out some. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:49:31 AM | Jana60 Said
I've been practicing medicine for 18 years and I'm willing to bet I've known more ditch diggers than you have. Most of them have been fine people but I don't want to Marry them.
Jana60, With this one statement you just alienated over half of the guys here on POF. Not saying that there all ditch diggers. All i am saying is this web site is full of just regular guys. Not just ditch diggers, But factory workers, fork lift drivers, people who work in a chicken processing plants, carpet mills etc,etc. These are regular everyday people who can sympathize with the ditch digger. As a matter of fact i know a guy here on POF that is a ditch digger. He makes very good money doing it. As a matter of fact he owns his own ditch digging company. But after your last statement, I don't think you have to worry about being contacted. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:09:56 AM | Well OP...my profession is discussed in my profile because i want it to be there.....I guess I find a woman might find it easier to relate to me if she knows what i do for a living.....JMO | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:58:06 AM | You presume to know what I have and have not experienced or tried. I have paid my dues. I came from a poor family and didn't have anyone to pay my way in life. I've worked since I was 14. I worked my way through college and medical school. I don't owe you or anyone else anything and If I prefer to find a boyfriend who is NOT a ditch digger, that should be MY choice. If you wish to find a boyfriend who IS a ditch digger, You know what? Thats YOUR choice. So I would like him to list his profession so that you can find him with great ease! OK????
I don't presume to know anything about you other than what I read in your posts and from what you have written, one might surmise that you put an awful lot of importance on someone's perfession as opposed to what kind of person they are.
Edit: One might also surmise, that you have worked very hard in your life to put your blue collar roots behind you and in the process have become somewhat of an elitist in your way of thinking and that opinion is based on your posts, which you have chosen to make public. You are correct, you don't owe me anything, but if you are going to put your opinons and view in the forums you do run the risk of people forming an opinion about you. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 4:29:17 AM |
: Jana60 Said
I've been practicing medicine for 18 years and I'm willing to bet I've known more ditch diggers than you have. Most of them have been fine people but I don't want to Marry them.
Jana60, With this one statement you just alienated over half of the guys here on POF. Not saying that there all ditch diggers. All i am saying is this web site is full of just regular guys. Not just ditch diggers, But factory workers, fork lift drivers, people who work in a chicken processing plants, carpet mills etc,etc. These are regular everyday people who can sympathize with the ditch digger. As a matter of fact i know a guy here on POF that is a ditch digger. He makes very good money doing it. As a matter of fact he owns his own ditch digging company. But after your last statement, I don't think you have to worry about being contacted.
So Eddie...you say that Jana has alienated people...what about you? You don't want to talk to anyone without a photograph. You say looks don't matter, but they must do. If they didn't then you'd have no issue with that whatsoever. You're drawing a very clear line for Jana so I'm drawing one for you.
Everyone has preferences and things that are either musts or dealbreakers...everyone. Jana isn't saying she wants someones money...she wants someone who has a chance at having a similar lifestyle. If you like thin women would you start dating big women because if you wouldn't then you'd be passing good women by.
There is no black and white...she has alienated no more than a tall/short man thread...a BBW thread...a thread on older men/younger women would. Everyone has something and by having a preference you bypass a certain number of people. As long as she isn't looking to take advantage of a rich man, what is the harm?
One thing to think of here...if she has an income that is higher than a mans...do you think he'll be happy with that for long? Couples fight over money more than anything--lack of it, what to do with it, who makes more, who spends more. Why should she not be looking for someone with a similar situation financially? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:30:49 AM | The men at this site don't write anyway so it doesn't matter. I've given very clear, and logical reasons why someone should list their profession. You ignored the second half of the post and most of the things I said in prior posts. I have observed that most people will not change an opinion once formed no matter what information is presented. Thats probably because they have selective hearing/reading and see what they want to see.
We all spend at least 1/3 of the total hours we are alive engaged in our work. If you believe that your work/profession does not in any way define or contribute to who you are then I can only presume that you have wasted 1/3 of your time and therefore wasted 1/3 of your life! | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:55:14 AM | | acttwo, I have a real simple answer for you. Women message me all the time with no picture and i answer. But, I am very careful. The reason i said that about pictures is not because i want to see what the woman looks like per sey. In case you haven't noticed we have a few female wanna bes on here. As a matter of fact more than one. But at least i have good reason to be the way i am. At least i don't come off like a womans pocket book means more to me than the woman inside. And all the women that have messaged me when they ask about my picture preference at least i can tell the truth about it with coming off like i am a male gold digger. One more thing. It took a long time for me to learn this. Not always what we want is what is right for us. I don't know, Maybe the man that is right for her is just a regular Joe. As far as money goes. If you look for the right thing inside a person instead of what he has in his bank account money won't matter. Again people, Nothing matters but what is inside the person. What makes him a man isn't his money. It doesn't matter if he digs ditches or sits behind a desk at a bank.. It's who he is and what he is that matters............. Ditch digger or doctor. And by the way, My profile doesn't say i will not talk to anyone who doesn't have a picture. Read closer. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:03:33 AM |
I think they should replace profession with "average penis size (when in use)
well, then you also would have to have a field for breast size, its only fair
That would be fake, like an increasing number of breasts are...lol.
With weaves, extensions, press on nails, implants, botox, nips & tucks, your woman could basically be Ms. potatohead, all you need to do is customize her to suit what you like. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:42:24 AM | Eddie...you're right...your profile doesn't come right out and say you won't speak to them, but it certainly gets the point across.
Read closer...that's rich. You're also sounding as though I'm coming across as a gold digger...care to explain how? I want a man to make his own money, as I make mine...I want nothing from a man and I don't want to have to support a man. Once a commitment is made things change and so do circumstances, but when I'm dating I want to be able to say to someone--fancy a weekend away--and know it isn't going to be a matter of him deciding if it's buying groceries for the week or having a weekend away. I don't want anything from a man...I want him to have it for himself. To me that doesn't sound much like a gold digger.
You have an incredibly idealistic view--the only thing that matters is what's inside the person--bull. I've known absolutely wonderful people that live in squallor by choice. They don't feel it's necessary to have a job that pays them enough to have a decent place and they may not be neat so it looks like a sty. Those same people would give me anything and be at my side in a flash--I wouldn't live like that for love nor money (or lack of it). It doesn't make them bad people, just people I wouldn't want to live with. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 6:25:30 AM | | I think it is that some people do not want others to know who they are on here, of course I find most guys do not want to be upfront with women about anything on the internet. You do not know who or what you are talking to on here, and then in person it is like pulling teeth to find out details about the person's life. We are all paranoid I guess. I confess that I have not read this whole post.... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 6:56:17 AM | ActTwo (msg#129):
Jana60...I'm completely with you. Everything you're saying I've said in other threads. My money is mine...his money is his, but he needs to have a profession that will allow our lifestyles to be similar. I know that won't be popular, but it's MY truth.
Guess, this can be a good approach to make things clear, like these marriage contracts (or the way you put arguing kids apart  ). Maybe it's even the best general approach to avoid conflicts because of this issue and probably I also could accept this as a starter. So this would never ever be a reason for me to judge someone with bad experiences who found some rules not to make the same mistake twice.
Otherwise this would lay like a curse on my soul in a relationship, making me aware of mental walls, maybe because of a lack of trust. It's one of these things that makes you feel lonely even when being with someone. I didn't want to think, feel or live like that.
I think people adapt to their environment, to the people they surround themself with. I had bad experiences too, yes, but instead of putting up a rule like that for myself I'd rather prefer to be with people who are giving or who are at least half-decent. In fact, there are no demanding people in my life, not that way and not that I knew. I don't expect someone to be financially equal, the one may be one of the most giving persons though.
Sometimes people feel pretty ashamed if they buy and give an expensive Christmas present to someone and they get something personal in return that must have taken days of effort, coming right from the heart. Even to share someones happiness who doesn't have much more than just this to give back at a certain point can be priceless.
When traveling, getting in touch with all kinds of people who live pretty different life styles, the most amazing thing to me was that I never really noticed a strong link between happiness and the social/financial status of a person. It was always a pleasure to know and talk about a happy persons focus...
The profession would be just a nice thing to know among many others (which still don't appear in a profile) if I get curious for a certain person. Honestly, I think that's also a logical reason not to pay too much attention to someones profession. May everyone feel free to use or consider that slot the way he/she wants. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 7:08:53 AM | Restlessmind...do you know I've never had an issue with this during my life? I've struggled...I've had a bit of money...with partners and without. Now, I'm 45 and headed into retirement. I don't want to play catchup for myself or anyone else...I want to be able to have the financial freedom to take a weekend break etc. I see no sense me looking for a relationship with someone who is not going to be able to do the same...I want someone with similar interests and I want someone who I can share such things with.
Know what...I'll probably meet a cabana boy somewhere and all of this will go out the window...I'm like everyone else. I have things I look for and I want...if they change...go with it. But at this moment in my life this is what I'm looking for. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 9:42:39 AM | acttwo, guess I fully understand this! Really. We are just walking down different roads, hoping that it will take us to the place we'd like to be.
Now that you know my opinion you may wonder after your experiences "omg... will that guy never learn?"
Well, I am willing to take a certain risk to get what I want, what makes me happy and I would feel bad without it.
I agree with you at this: we both know what we want, what makes us happy. That's already a good start. You have dreams and hopes, not out of reach, so go for it. Everything else might become a regret. That's why I think you're doing the right thing. We may have different interests, we don't have to agree. Nonetheless I wish you luck and I encourage you to do so. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 2:43:16 PM | acttwo Said
I want nothing from a man and I don't want to have to support a man.
This much i will give you. I don't want to support a woman. But how many men end up doing that with a woman that says she doesn't want to support a man. It ends up that way more times than not. The woman tries to spend her money and his to. Been there done that.
You have an incredibly idealistic view--the only thing that matters is what's inside the person--bull.
This one statement says it all for you. This one statement tells me that you must be one shallow person. I know a lot of people in the business i am in that would love for a woman to look at the man they are. It's not idealistic, It's the way it is with most men i know. Every man who really wants a relationship with a woman want to be accepted for who they are. Not there pocket book. Not there earning potential. Who he is and what he is. That is another reason there are so many divorces now. People don't look for the right things before they jump into marriage. I can't tell you how many women i personally know that the first thing out of there mouth when they meet a guy is what kind of job does he have. I have had lady friend of mine to tell me that one of the big reasons she married her husband was because of the cushy life she would have with him. He had a heart attack and couldn't work anymore. Put him in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. She left him. She left him because she didn't love the man within. She had her own money but didn't want to spend it on him. She wanted his money and what he could do for her. That's why most guys are very careful about women with your attitude. I don't know you. You may be the best thing since sliced bread. But going by your last statement if i was a man that was interested in you i would be very careful. One more thing, I wasn't talking about you in my last post. I was talking about what Jana's post made her sound like. It really sounded like' "I am a doctor. I am willing to take your money with a smile. I will prescribe the ditch digger med's. But i am better than you. Might not have meant it that way but that is the way it comes off. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:12:30 PM | The men at this site don't write anyway so it doesn't matter. I've given very clear, and logical reasons why someone should list their profession. You ignored the second half of the post and most of the things I said in prior posts. I have observed that most people will not change an opinion once formed no matter what information is presented. Thats probably because they have selective hearing/reading and see what they want to see.
Yes the men on this site do write, some very nice men as a matter of fact. If they are not writing to you, you have to wonder why. And just for the record, I am being very selective in what I am writing, but make no mistake I read everything very clearly, maybe a little to clearly for your liking.
We all spend at least 1/3 of the total hours we are alive engaged in our work. If you believe that your work/profession does not in any way define or contribute to who you are then I can only presume that you have wasted 1/3 of your time and therefore wasted 1/3 of your life!
Of course our profession makes up part of who are. However, it doesn't define you, it doesn't make you the person you are, it doesn't give you the right judge others in their chosen field of work. Or to deem them unworthy of your time. Let me appease you by saying this, elements of our professional life will always seep into our personal lives, but it doesn't make you the person that you are. You decide the person that you are regardless of what profession you are in. There are doctors who actually view it as privilege to have the skill and compassion to care for and treat people, and they do because that is the kind of people they are, not because they are doctors, but because they are good people. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:48:36 PM | Jana60 Said
The men at this site don't write anyway so it doesn't matter.
Jana, I am not trying to jump on you. I don't mean any harm to you. But, Did you ever think that when a guy reads your profile then reads your forum posts that he sees a attitude that is a turn off to him? Did you ever think that the attitude that the men see in your posts makes them not want to write? This thing you said about the ditch digger. Didn't you think there were a lot of people on here that fall into that category? You know, Regular working people that do the hard work that know what a hard days work is. I don't know what kind of family back round you came from. Maybe your mom and dad were just regular working people. I don't know, All i do know is what you said is insulting the regular working guy and gal. If it wasn't for the regular working people your job would be obsolete. Your statement, It just has this "i am better than you" ring to it. | |
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Posted: 5/20/2008 6:32:40 PM | Not a guy, but I have to say that that shouldn't matter. If you're interested in someone as an individual then their profession won't mean squat anyways. Personally I wouln't skip on anyone cause their profession was left blank. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 8:03:19 PM | If you believe that your work/profession does not in any way define or contribute to who you are then I can only presume that you have wasted 1/3 of your time and therefore wasted 1/3 of your life!
Poppycock.
It is about the ethics, character and integrity that you BRING to your job, whatever your job/profession may happen to be, that truly defines you and contributes to who you are..........a job or title or a particular profession does not give one character, ethics, values, integrity and morals....... it`s the other way around.......
But then that would put you on a even keel with someone of a lower profession and we surely cannot have none of that !
The men at this site don't write anyway so it doesn't matter.
I am a man and I write to women. I simply avoid writing to the pompous types......and I am sorry that men do not respond to your profile and write to you.......how utterly sad.
Carry on....
Peace | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:13:18 PM |
With that said, if you really feel as if someone's profession defines them, what do you say about the single mother who waitresses or scrubs floors to put her child through college? Or the man who digs ditches to feed his family? Or the man who picks up your garbage who supports his elderly parents? Honestly, I think people need to look less at the actual occupation and look at the work ethic and the circumstances which make up someone's life before proclaiming that you would have nothing in common with this person simply based on whether they have a "job" or a "profession."
Well said!  | |
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Posted: 5/23/2008 9:52:48 PM | | Now they have added a slot for education. Just gives those who have been so hostile about the profession slot material to make a whole new thread. You can title it "superficial college grads who are unwilling to date people with only a 5th grade education"! Well all I can say is there must be quite a few of us superficial people. I very much doubt they made that slot just for me. I do sort of wonder about the new do you have a car slot???? After all, alot of folks who live in a big citys don't own cars since there is nowhere to park. | |
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Posted: 5/24/2008 7:24:36 AM | First, the car slot is not new, and at the risk of sounding shallow and materialistic, I drive a Lexus and that is not too shabby for someone with an Associates Degree. However, that does not mean I would not date someone who drove a pick-up truck. Second, I think you missed the point of why some of us took issue with your posts and that is unfortunate for you. Furthermore, there is really no point in trying to explain it any further when someone is not open to learning life lessons.
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