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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:55:44 PM | Your right.! Its not profession! Its a combination of factors that I think are important in a long term relationship. Since I don't really give a darn what anyone on this site thinks of me, I'm willing to say exactly what I think. Furthermore, I'd be willing to bet I'm not the only one who feels this way.
1. Attraction: Its that chemistry that makes you feel happy when your with someone for no reason other than their presence. It may be instant and animal in its intensity with some partners or it may be a slow to form but none the less a persistent warm glow that lasts. Either way, its presence is essential!
2. Common Values and Ethics---
Some people value security above all else. Others live in the moment.
Some people believe in absolute honesty. Others believe a lie is OK when needed.
Some people devote their entire lives to God. Others believe all spiritual beliefs are a figment of peoples imagination.
Most people lay somewhere on a continum between the two extremes when it comes to Values, Honesty, and Spirituality. You just have to find others close to where you are or at least close enough for you to accept.
3. Education-- There are many people without formal education who are extremely intelligent but so far I have not found very many of them who are also single and in my age group. A professor of mine once said....."50% of what you learn in college will be obsolete by the time you graduate and you will have forgotten the other 50%. So what is gained from college? Mainly it just exercises the brain. Just like exercising the body the brain needs exercise too. The "fit" brain is able to learn rapidly and efficiently. So just as some seek others with a "fit" body, others seek partners with a "fit" brain. Some persons may have learned to exercise their brain without formal education but the odds are certainly greater for finding a "fit" brain among those trained to make it so.
4. Common Hobbies and Interests--- While it is possible to develop new hobbies and interests, most people already have quite a few by the time they reach my age. Its certainly not necessary to live in each others pocket but if your partner does not enjoy any activities with you, where is your fun in life together?
5. Income-- I don't want anyone's elses money. I make enough myself. But, I have spent my entire life working hard and I have finally reached a place in life where I can afford to do more. I want to travel. I want to have a little fun. I DON'T want to be limited by having to pay my partners way every time but I want to have a partner in life who has both the desire and the where with all to explore the world and its options with me.
A lot of factors make up the total package of what a person wants in their partner. All people are lacking or at least not as well endowed in one or more of these areas. I think most of us are just searching to find the best match possible to the ideal total package. Are we likely to find that ideal total package? Of course not. But I don't think its right to put others down for seeking what to them is their ideal mate, whether you agree with them or not. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/24/2008 1:46:13 PM | Hi Jana, sorry I've been away so long.
Obviously you do not know the meaning of "Vanity".
Definition of Vanity per Wikipedia:
"In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others. In many religions vanity is considered a form of self-idolatry, in which one rejects God for the sake of one's own image, and thereby becomes divorced from the graces of God. In early Christian teachings vanity is considered an example of pride, one of the seven deadly sins. "
Ah, I see, a Wikapedia education you have, apparently you haven't heard, I will leave that one on you.
Unfortunately how you choose is a direct compass on your vanity. While I may ask what you do for a living out of curiosity you ask because of how it effects you and your lifestyle.
Gold digging? Not at all! Superficial? Maybe...but no more so than looking at weight or height.
But at least you admit it...
And I say as a representative of ditch diggers everywhere, the next time you take a class or read a book try to understand the concept and not the definition. Good luck to you Jana... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/24/2008 1:56:16 PM | I am female and yes I have a career, but choose not to post it.
If I have conversed with someone enough and if we choose to meet and end up spending time together then I will tell him what I do.
I just prefer for man reasons to keep that from being public, as this is public and open to all.
There are many things I do not put in my profile for various reasons.
I don't think someone's profession or lack there of should be a deal breaker, to me that rings of shallow gold digger and I have met just as many gold digging men as woman. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:31:18 AM | eddie, thanks for your compliments. i'm just soooo tired of seeing people make assumptions about a future potential partner based on a blank field on a computer screen, or similar. if the field is blank, ask for it to be filled in. how hard is this to type??? if the person does say "i'm in the witness protection program" then maybe there could be cause for concern. but most people are not in that.
same for the no pic posted issue. if no pic is there, ask for one. then you won't have to make any assumptions about how a person looks ; you will know for a fact. i am amazed at how difficult this seems to be in the era of email and www. i used to not post one because i didn't want my guy friends to know that i do internet dating, but if they were on there then they would be doing it too, lol. i finally posted pics because it's just easier to get that out of the way quickly.
i do not list specific profession because i do not want everyone to know exactly where i work and for what organization. and it might not look illegal or anything for work purposes, since i am single, but it might not be the best either.
and no, men don't choose women based on whether i judge them for their job or not. they choose women based on physical features, so it seems. and more often than not, they get the consequences. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:46:11 AM | People this site is an OPEN site for anyone to look through. While some people would have no problem putting down their professions, other wouldn't. If you have children, as i do, I would be more careful as to what personal information I place on the web.
Thats between my employer, my family and friends. If you become one of those classifications, then full disclosure is certainly in order. :)
Good Luck | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:13:07 PM | | I had no idea leaving the profession slot blank was such a big deal! Mine has been the blank the entire time I've been a member until I read this thread. I gave up and filled in a vague description of what I do....so vague that anyone who is interested is still going to have to ask what I do exactly, lol. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:11:31 PM | Once upon a time there was a woman who was dating and she put in "unemployed single welfare mom". Naturally, everyone but the pedophiles passed her up. Then one day the book she wrote became a best seller and made her the richest woman in the country. That woman was J.K. Rawlings. Well, I actually made that up. But the point is, people's economic status can change dramatically over a lifetime or even within a few years.
There are some other valid reasons not to name a profession besides those listed above. For instance, therapists might want to not mention they are therapists lest they attract all kinds of advice questions about how to attract healthier people. School teachers might not want people to know what their personal preferences and especially might not want people to know their sexual orientation. People in transition from one career to the next might be vague or might choose not to put anything in at all. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:42:36 AM | I still think George Carlin put it best.....
“Somewhere in the world is the WORST Doctor.....and somebody's going to him RIGHT NOW!!”
And let's not forget about a certain President who gave a commencement speech at an Ivy League school, who encouraged everybody who graduated that, yes, they too could become President with a 'C AVERAGE'....(not to mention a LOT of COCAINE AND ALCOHOL!!) And if you truly knew what I know about that certain group of 'well-to-dos', and knew the REAL reason why gas is now at FOUR DOLLARS A GALLON, there would be a 'BALL HANGING' the likes that hasn't been seen since Mussolini met his fate with a tether wire.........
If life taught me one thing, it's never to 'underestimate the opponent'. And since this certain arena involves a 'battle of the sexes', I can tell you that people will SURPRISE you all too quickly if you were to judge them merely on their current choice of profession.....
Like the dishwasher from Israel, who comes over to America, pretends to not speak a word of English, who is able to eavesdrop on the owners of the restaurant, who don't think he can understand a WORD THEY'RE SAYING right in front of them, so he can learn trade secrets and then go open up his own place and start his own FRANCHISE, becoming a MILLIONAIRE!!!
Or hey.....how about the Dominatrix for hire, who can tell ya stories of Lawyers who are out cheating on their wives, who like to actually be tied up, wear balls in their mouths, and be whipped into submission from all the GUILT they hide for being money hungry, bottom of the sea scum sucking ***holeS during the day.......
Or the guy who does tie dye shirts at the local flea market who, upon entering his place, shows you airbrush pictures of Einstein, Lennon, and Marilyn Monroe hanging on the wall, that look so real, you could swear he did them via brush stroke, all without depth perception due to loss of one eye in a car wreck.....and he makes more money at the flea market than from his gift........
Or the blind IBM software developer, with three Java patents, who only five years prior was a musician playing in a VFW lodge making six thousand dollars a year and on public assistance because no college would hire a guy who ALREADY had a Phd in Philosophy and wanted to be a professor---- due to his handicap....who gets a lucky break to move to another city, play in a big club, starts actually getting LAID by some very beautiful women, who then banks the money he's now making, goes BACK to school while playing at night....and then gets a HUGE job with IBM....finds a woman online....gets married and now is expecting a kid........
In my twenty five years of a certain business I was in, I can flat out tell ya, that you will NEVER be able to judge how a person will love you, or if you will have anything in common solely based on their profession......period...end of discussion....
That clerk behind a counter at the convenience store might just happen to be a guy who works as a professional for a major company, but decides he wants to make a little extra cash so he can buy an electric piano for his daughter's college classes.........only to get stabbed to death while doing it.....
Whether you dig ditches, or spent your entire life on WALLSTREET, each and every person here can loose it ALL in a New York minute......... It doesn't matter.... I've seen it happen to the best of 'em. One day you're up to your ass in hock with a beautiful house, Beemer, and every toy that can be put on your PLATINUM card.........the next day, all of it's wiped out by a hurricane, flood, earthquake or California style brush fire...... Or heaven forbid you don't suddenly get hit by a drunk driver, have a heart attack, or be told you have six months to live......... Because it will happen to us all....
So as the saying goes....'be careful of the toes you're stepping on on the way up....they may be the very ass you kiss on the way down......'
The only thing you can do is do what Mr. McCartney said..... “In the end.....the love you take...is equal to the love you make.”.....
Unless of course, you happen to be a blonde, broke ACTRESS, posing as some compassionate philanthropical socialite with a HEART........then you can get about a cool forty million pounds for merely sucking....um....the life out of somebody for a mere two years............. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/27/2008 1:49:48 PM | Listing a profession is important to me, but not because I'm interested in money. I get along best with women who are well educated and professional. Women who have careers, not jobs. Women who are interested in making a better life for themselves and who are willing to work for it.
Most people don't realize how much effort is required to get a masters or PhD. Most people who start one never finish. It takes dedication, intelligence, and the willingness to put up with a colossal amount of BS! People with that level of dedication but who also know how to enjoy life are very attractive to me.
Jana, if you weren't 1000 miles away, I'd hit on you every day. I might anyway!  | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:00:36 PM | I think everybody should put their current Bank account on their profile and update it on a regular basis.
I like to know that the woman I'm dating has money and is careful with it and ready to spend a whole lot of it on me.
Btw, for anyone who is ditzy like a "kitten" - I'M KIDDING
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:24:11 PM | In addition to my message 25.
Like I wrote, it doesn't matter the occupation. One cannot judge anyones intellect, humor, compassion or all around personality by what they do for a living or have as some have stated they would require or prefer someone with....."a career".
Just for me personally someone's job/career is not an issue if I have found something in them that intrigues me, especailly intelligence and sense of humor. But that's just me.
I once knew a Steelworker, with no formal education, who is ONE of the most intelligent men that I have known. Very smart. Ranked right up there, (no, I'll say, surpassed him) with a lawyer, with whom I used to go out. (Shhh, don't tell anyone I went out with an attorney. lol. Just kiddin' *bluesman* if you read here. I know you are of that profession) This Steelworker can carry on long, involved, conversations with anyone, from any walk of life. And NO, I'm not dissing that occupation. Merely an example. | |
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| Queen of the universe
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:00:55 PM | when i was single and looking i had my profession as long haul truck driver, and i wasnt getting any hits, and i was thinking its because for some reason truck drivers have this dark cloud over them with things like dirty, stupid, low lifes that are lazy.
when in fact most of us arent like that. so i took mine off and got a few hits almost instantly. it sucks to be labeled like that but oh well. what can u do, its a shame that girls or just people have to so decisive because of the bad rep some professions have,
i chose to be a long haul truck driver, to make some money while seeing a ton of country that would take most people a lifetime to see, | |
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| Queen of the universe
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:16:20 PM | There is no justice in type casting anyone by sex,or income level.....it's sad, but it happens. Especially since many Americans believe that money buys happiness.
That said, socially I often reference that my older Brother is a doctor, to let people know that someone in my family has "smarts," since I have no such title or similar accomplishment in life to hang my hat on.
Sometimes I wonder how I'm able to get out of bed in the morning, what with only a high school diploma. | |
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| Queen of the universe
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:37:45 PM |
when i was single and looking i had my profession as long haul truck driver, and i wasnt getting any hits, and i was thinking its because for some reason truck drivers have this dark cloud over them with things like dirty, stupid, low lifes that are lazy.
when in fact most of us arent like that.
It is ashame, it really is, but some women do seek out those with certain types of professions and it does have more to do with vanity than anything else. Take airplane pilots for example, back in the sixties that was considered one of the dream catch jobs a man could have for woman to swoon after them, and it was. If you were a pilot for Pan-Am you were a God among men. Was being the key word here since now they are on the same level as truck drivers, long hours mediocre pay, difficult to raise a family on. Even doctors and lawyers today do not hold the prestige that they once did and are no longer the attractive catch as what once was. To many of them maybe? To many getting a bad rap, I'm not sure. But after reading this thread to be honest I can't think of any job that really has all that much prestige behind it anymore. Unless you want to talk about the entertainment industry, but then that is more about scandle and the only way to get real press time is to murder someone, do drugs or sleep with someone your not suppose to.
These are different times we are rolling into, now it is just a good time to have a job and we should all be proud of what we do, regardless of if we choose to put it in our profile or not... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:33:32 PM | | Some simple minded people are of the opinion that a persons job reflects thier personality, and who they are. Aside from Porno stars,lawyers, and daredevils, and a scant few others,this brand of logic is flawed. By this model of logic every job you've ever had was indicitive of your character, and personality. That crappy job you had in high school, or college. How about that second job you took to get that car you wanted, or to go on vacation. They all represented you as a person??Most folks leave the profession slot blank not to be secretive, but because it's not anyone's business, until THEY decide to tell someone. Let's say you saw on a guy's profile that he was a male nurse. What impression would you get of him? Let's say 4 months later you run across the same guy's profile and you see that now he's a barber. Would your impression change? If so, why?...it's the same guy right? I know you want a guy who actually HAS a job, but just because he's not puttting it in his profile doesn't mean he's hiding anything. I get the impression that would just might pass over a decent guybecause he didn't have the 'right' profession. I may be way off target, but I kinda get that vibe off of you. Why does it matter? If you click w/ a person THAT should be what matters. Besides what about all the ladies that leave the children, or body type slot blank. Or even funnier, put average. I guess being 5' 5" and 245 qualifies as average for some people. What are they hiding? | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:48:03 AM | | could be the same reason that the ladies do the same thing..look at some womens profiles, they insert many a saying in this slot | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/28/2008 5:39:26 AM | There are alot of reasons why people would want to leave that blank. Line of work can be easily talked about durring the first emails. Some people have high profile jobs, property and investments, or high incomes that would be represented by the job title, or easily traced. And of course this is another area where I've noticed while chatting, people may be not honest with. So all the more reason to keep it vague. this seems sensible.
But I think for the most part people generally want to get together with others who have things in common. A simular lifestyle. As I was reading this thead last night I kept thinking this is almost impossible to express by egample without offending others in some way.
Then there are the times people meet from totally different backgrounds and love survives all. I feel its better to keep the heart open. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:10:23 AM | | has any one noticed people dont go around with a tag on them saying there job, its a very common thing to ask in person, also is a good conversation/ ice breaker thing. O | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:44:41 AM | Thank you icey43 for backing up what I consider to be the real truth behind most of the inquiries about other peoples profession and income..
There ARE just as many men that are gold diggers as there are women gold diggers..
I am not dating anyone online so I don't care if anyone here knows about my being a property owner..
I couldn't care less what any of these people think of me.
I will add that there seem to be some guys that agree with the women just to get more dates from these women.
And the women fall for it.!!
Afterwards the women are on here complaining about how they just got used for sex.
The whole time , they was trying to use the guy for their money..
This whole game is so funny... | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/29/2008 2:18:58 AM | exciting 1 Said
eddie, thanks for your compliments.
exciting 1 your very welcome. Women who think that way now are getting harder & harder to find. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:13:34 AM |
Now they have added a slot for education. Just gives those who have been so hostile about the profession slot material to make a whole new thread. You can title it "superficial college grads who are unwilling to date people with only a 5th grade education"! Well all I can say is there must be quite a few of us superficial people
Just for amusement, I performed a search for women having the same level of education I have and who lived within 200 miles. I found five women and I seriously doubt any of those five would understand anything about what I do. Aside from the fact that I'm dating someone and not looking, that would seem to be a severe handicap except that long ago, I came to the realization that education should not be confused with having gone to school. I also realized that if I asked my dates what interested them instead of trying to interest them in what I do, I could learn a lot of interesting things (which is why I went to graduate school in the first place.) A college degree is not the same thing as a certificate of intelligence or education. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/30/2008 8:43:21 AM | ^^
I also realized that if I asked my dates what interested them instead of trying to interest them in what I do, I could learn a lot of interesting things
I've always had that same idea. It makes me kind of glad to be an unprofessional with not that much to interest someone, lol
I don't have a degree of any kind but I'm quite sure not very many people have found me unintelligent or boring. I think people who are interestED, are interestING | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:22:36 AM | | well i know a few women who do not judge a man based on his job. most of us sit home without dates too.....i also know some who are wanting men who are more well off. one friend is extremely wealthy and she wants the same in a guy. another one is just middle class professional and she just wants someone who is at her level or higher. wouldn't all the above be nice, but some nicer guys do not make very much money, but they have other qualities, such as if they are hawwwt, lol, or things in common with me, values, etc. and i've been burned by guys who do have more money and possessions. of those two, if i have to choose, i'll take the one who treats me better. i just can't stand men who are so used to having women fall at their feet and they treat them like trash because so many are available, either because the guy has money, looks, talent etc. | |
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