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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:22:22 PM | | i agree with the post about the lack of educated men both in the present and the future. yes i've seen stories that talk about colleges having a higher percentage of females and female graduates. yes, those girls will not find equally educated men, or alot of them won't. i'm definitely willing to accept someone less formally educated than me, but sometimes it seems that those men are intimidated?? and alot of the ones who do have more education or success than me are looking for a woman with social status. and a huge percentage of men of all education levels and lack thereof are specifically looking for a certain physical type first anyway. so...what else is a girl to do???? and now, i'm even having to explain to guys why i am still single???? i just try to be open and flexible and look for mutual attraction, common interests, etc., regardless of education. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:50:58 PM | clasact,
If you knew my real name (even my first one) you might be able to find her by her relation to me. At least I am listed when you google me. She is not, even if you knew her full name. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:21:04 PM |
It's so fascinating to me how oft times there is this desire among professional well-educated women to only date well-educated, professional men. It seems the motivation is that the women want intellectual equals in the very least, but status that degrees confer and opportunities for higher household income also play a role in this choice. This is absolutely true, in my experience. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:34:38 PM |
If you knew my real name (even my first one) you might be able to find her by her relation to me. At least I am listed when you google me. She is not, even if you knew her full name. I do not use google. More professional "tools" are used, since this was MY profession and area of expertise.~grins~ Everyone isn't on google. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:15:09 PM | Welllllllllllllllllllll...........some women prefer guys who's hands never get dirty.
AKA ........pencil pushers/white collars............$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Even when some hands on guys make some good $$$$$$.
In my field we talk about women. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:21:31 PM | Gee!!! I put medical field, could I be a housekeeping in the hospital? or a dietary aide? Is that why men dont write me? lol . Just joking guys, it really doesnt matter if they leave it blank or not, BUT its nice to know what they do on thier work situation, to see if we have something in common.   | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:39:46 PM |
The blank job section, is personal choice, I don't think it's anyone's business what it is that I do, afterall aren't you supposed to be here looking some the person, not what they do for a living and how it can benifit you?
like activejon says! my profession is only a small part of who I am and I'm not interested in meeting people based on what I do for a living. It's honest and pays the bills and that should be enough for starters. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:25:06 PM | I'm just not interested in dating the unemployed.
Well.....were he available, that weeds out Bill Gates, the soon to be unemployed high school graduate, worth $50,000,000,000 billion dollars. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:31:37 AM |
As a guy who puts stupid things in there, it's because I only want to meet people who don't care about it. Anyone who judges people based on that is someone I don't even want to know - and that includes the girls who's first question about someone's new guy is what they do for a living.
Everyone successful or in a good career on here that I know downplays what they do if they're looking for a relationship. I'm a "Crazy Old Man" - self-made 26 yr old multi-millionaire who runs 3 companies in his spare time. You never know what you're going to get with those empty fields. :)
Disagree with the last paragraph...most men that I've talked to with funny things or blanks on the profession slot are either on disability or unemployed. The people I've met that are well off or successful have put something there or given a bit of detail in their profiles.
I don't judge someone on their profession alone, but it's part of what might interest me...no different than height--I like tall men and I like men who are proud of what they do and enjoy their work...who can support themselves and are comfortable with it. If you could care less about a girl who wants to see that....remember she could care less about someone who doesn't fill in the slot so fortunately you'll more than likely never run into each other. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:29:48 AM | This thread has raised one of my pet peeves. It's the double standard about income.
On many dating sites there are places for a woman to state exactly what she wants in the way of a mate. She can say that she is only interested in a man that makes $50,000-75,000 or say $1oo,ooo plus. Just pick it from the drop down window. On the same sites, a man can do the same thing. now here's the double standard....
It is perfectly acceptable in our society for a woman to be looking for a rich man. No one thinks or says a thing of it. But if a man states he is only interested in a woman that earns $75,000 -$100,000, then he is considered a gigolo or user. If I was ever labeled that user or gigolo, I'd be greatly offended. But some women would shallow feel low for being a gold digger.
To me it shows that she is not interested in a man to love, but only a man to support her. Is that not a gold digger? So when I saw this thread asking about someone's profession on their profile, it suggests to me that what is really meant is how much do you earn before I contact you
I am a man of modest means. I work hard and do OK. Damn sure not ashamed of the fact that I don't make more then I do.
So with that said, if on those other sites where a guy can say how much he earns, I guarantee you that the guy will get tons of mail from interested ladies if his profile says he makes $100,000 or more as an example. His mailbox would be overflowing. Kind of like the mailboxes of women that have sexy hot photos in bikinis, cleavage shot etc. so what will this guy really get? Some woman that was attracted to his bank account and not him. Oh she will go through the motions of really caring about him, maybe even say she loves him to get to that bank account. I for one would never feel secure in that relationship. I'd always wonder if it was me she was attracted to or my bank account.
So one of my fantasies is that I win the lottery, have tons of money. But I never tell anyone. I would still live in a modest home, drive a modest car and never wear my gold rolex. Then I meet a woman that falls in love with me and I her. Once secure in the fact it is me, not my bank account, I then tell her,"guess what......We are going to Paris for dinner tonight, the limo will be here in an hour. get dressed." The limo shows up to take us to the chartered jet and off we go. Well you get the picture. So no, even if my profession was say CEO of a major gas company, I'd never put that in my profile for fear of attracting the gold diggers.
But turn it around...Say a guy is a blue collar construction worker, a maintenance man, or other lower income job. He writes to a woman that posts her income of say $75,000 PLUS. Chances are this woman would not even respond. He has to earn as much or more then she does. But a man that posts the same income would not be as likely to turn down the hair dresser, store clerk, bank teller or file clerk. Us men don't really care if there is a chance for a relationship. But many woman, not all would shun even a great looking guy if he has lower income.
I guess it is a hold-over from the days when a man was the only income source and the little woman stayed home to cook, clean and raise the baby's.
The reality of it is female gold digger and a male gigolo are the same if the profession or money is a factor in finding a new mate. Now I know some woman will sugar coat this by saying things like they just want a guy that has the same education, intellect etc. I say Bull to that. Just a nice excuse or justification for looking for the all mighty dollar. But I still believe money can't buy love. But if there is both, life is better or easier.
OK, off my soapbox. Let the flames begin! lol | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:06:20 AM |
This thread has raised one of my pet peeves. It's the double standard about income.
On many dating sites there are places for a woman to state exactly what she wants in the way of a mate. She can say that she is only interested in a man that makes $50,000-75,000 or say $1oo,ooo plus. Just pick it from the drop down window. On the same sites, a man can do the same thing. now here's the double standard....
It is perfectly acceptable in our society for a woman to be looking for a rich man. No one thinks or says a thing of it. But if a man states he is only interested in a woman that earns $75,000 -$100,000, then he is considered a gigolo or user. If I was ever labeled that user or gigolo, I'd be greatly offended. But some women would shallow feel low for being a gold digger.
Jim...no one, in this thread, is asking for amounts of money being made. They are looking for what a person does. I'm sorry, but I'm a believer in someone's profession being part of who they are, therefore part of what I am, or am not, attracted to.
So one of my fantasies is that I win the lottery, have tons of money. But I never tell anyone. I would still live in a modest home, drive a modest car and never wear my gold rolex. Then I meet a woman that falls in love with me and I her. Once secure in the fact it is me, not my bank account, I then tell her,"guess what......We are going to Paris for dinner tonight, the limo will be here in an hour. get dressed." The limo shows up to take us to the chartered jet and off we go. Well you get the picture. So no, even if my profession was say CEO of a major gas company, I'd never put that in my profile for fear of attracting the gold diggers.
If you had tons of money and never mentioned it in an appropriate timeframe I'd be as angry as I could be when you told me the truth. Says a lot about being forthright etc doesn't it? You may think that deception is ok, but I wouldn't give you the time of day after that.
The reality of it is female gold digger and a male gigolo are the same if the profession or money is a factor in finding a new mate. Now I know some woman will sugar coat this by saying things like they just want a guy that has the same education, intellect etc. I say Bull to that. Just a nice excuse or justification for looking for the all mighty dollar. But I still believe money can't buy love. But if there is both, life is better or easier.
OK, off my soapbox. Let the flames begin! lol
I agree that a gold digger and gigolo are on an even keel...one thing in this I take issue with is this--money can't buy love, but it can kill it. More couples argue over money than anything.
You say that if there is both life is better or easier--so why is it anyone should compromise when trying to find someone with a profession and income on a par to theirs? Your words...not mine. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:56:02 AM | Acttwo,
I am not here to judge you or debate you on this topic. But this is an open forum, so we do lay ourselves out there for opinions that we may not agree with or like.
So I respectfully disagree with your statement that profession does not equal money. In fact your last statement about finding a profession/income the on the same par as yours bares that point out. You kind of stepped on your own feet there Acttwo.
So let's you and I agree to disagree. And play nice. lol Gee, now I wonder if I was "on par with you profession wise,(and I don't even know what that might be) would I have gotten the same response? We will never know.
Jim...no one, in this thread, is asking for amounts of money being made. They are looking for what a person does. I'm sorry, but I'm a believer in someone's profession being part of who they are, therefore part of what I am, or am not, attracted to.
You say that if there is both life is better or easier--so why is it anyone should compromise when trying to find someone with a profession and income on a par to theirs? Your words...not mine.
If you had tons of money and never mentioned it in an appropriate timeframe I'd be as angry as I could be when you told me the truth. Says a lot about being forthright etc doesn't it? You may think that deception is OK, but I wouldn't give you the time of day after that.
Boy you are a hard one! I agree deception is very wrong. But so is judging someone by there profession....In my opinion. In the first place, it was a fantasy that I shared. Second, even in that fantasy, I not once did I lie or deceived. I just waited until the "appropriate" time to mention it. And in a romantic way. Unless you think my not showing her my lotto ticket on the first date would be deceptive.
I beg your pardon, but you have a weak argument about what I wrote as being deceptive. Just smart to protect my heart (and bank account) from gold diggers. Even ones that sugar coat what they really are. ( and that is not suggesting you are. Do not take it that way)
To many men and woman profession or income does not make a difference at all. If it does to you, that's OK. Your choice. Just like my preference to not see anyone that would make that an issue. I perceive it as being to shallow overall. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:07:08 AM | Note: I mean this sincerely and not in a flippant way.
Maybe I should have looked at your profile first. I now can understand your need to make profession a requirement. I see you are British. You live in a society where the "class" system and separation is still alive and well. As told to me by a couple of my British friends. Not your fault. I do at least understand those differences
Ironically, I was just talking to a new friend that lives there. She agrees that many things in the UK and the culture is different. and difference is OK. Just like between you and I.
Even though we disagree, I'd guess you are a pretty nice person.
Guess what? So am I. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:09:06 PM | Jim33903 wrote:....Say a guy is a blue collar construction worker, a maintenance man, or other lower income job. He writes to a woman that posts her income of say $75,000 PLUS. Chances are this woman would not even respond. He has to earn as much or more then she does. But a man that posts the same income would not be as likely to turn down the hair dresser, store clerk, bank teller or file clerk. Us men don't really care if there is a chance for a relationship. But many woman, not all would shun even a great looking guy if he has lower income. I think as Jim33903 does in this vein.....
I'd be as interested to go out with an attractive hairstylist, as an attractive woman of any other mode of employment. Just my perspective. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:44:37 PM | Gee Sam, I came back to this thread hours later, looking for the line of woman that would dispute or disagree with my statement.
Man that makes $25,000 in his job... wants woman that makes $100,000 in her Profession equals = gigolo considered a bad person 
Woman that makes $25,000 in her job...wants man that makes $100,000 in his Profession equals a smart woman and is OK in our society. 
I'm not complaining, just pointing out an interesting fact. A definite double standard  | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:04:10 PM | Jim,
Since I'm not a college graduate, I figured that I'd start posting in the Forums, in hopes of a good woman being attracted to my mind, if not my income.
Hope you don't mind me piggy-backing on your cogent points. I'm not as prose-articulate, as I regard some here to be.
Regards, | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:46:22 PM | | Only got on this site and read part of the discussion but interested in the discussion. Sometimes profession or woman with a point is taken as a minus in relationships. No matter how much education we have we still fall in love for the very basic reasons and make the same mistakes as woman lives in the jungle. We can only control ourselves to some extent the rest is back to our nature being as a female I guess. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:13:40 PM |
Man that makes $25,000 in his job... wants woman that makes $100,000 in her Profession equals = gigolo considered a bad person
Woman that makes $25,000 in her job...wants man that makes $100,000 in his Profession equals a smart woman and is OK in our society.
Personally, I think the marriages/relationships that have the best chance of longterm survival are the ones where both man and woman come from similar occupational ,educational and financial backgrounds.
Woman that makes $25,000 in her job...wants man that makes $100,000 in his Profession equals a smart woman and is OK in our society. I don't think it's so smart. Smart women marry men they love.
And given that most men who have 2 nickels to rub together seem to see goldiggers around every corner these days, a woman who goes hunting for a man with a markedly better income better be able to f*ck like a mink or she'll never pull it off.
Cindy O | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:10:38 PM | Caring what others choose not to post seems kinda pushy to me.
If someone wants to keep some part of themselves private (for any reasons) it seems to me that should be their prerogative. Just cuz there is a slot for an answer doesn't mean it's a question everyone wants to answer. It just means its a choice.
I don't see leaving out information as a problem at all. It's just a matter of privacy. If you want to know more about someone then ask them. If you feel you have to have all sorts of info on a person before you communicate with them an that they need to fill out a questionnaire the way you want them to, then in my humble opinion thats kind of a control freak behavior which I personally would prefer doesn't contact me any way :)
I think a more bothersome behavior is when people lie with words and pictures. 10 year old pictures. Glamor shots that look nothing like the person posting them. Then there are the people who hold the camera up an strange angles to try to hide whatever flaw they feel is needing to be hidden. Leaving out private information is one thing but trying to manipulate the someones perception with makeup and photography tricks is just blatant false advertising, a sign of fear, insecurity and lacking honesty.
Profession missing? I'd still write if there were something interesting in the profile. Manipulated pictures? Not a chance. Instant ignore for deception. Might sound cold but life is short an I really don't have time to sign up for a partner fulla fear an shame. Scared dogs bite. I prefer to be around people who are perfectly ok with who they are. It's always good to try to make yoursel fa better person both physically and emotionally but a facade is not makin things better. It's hiding things as they get worse.
Sincerely
DAve | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:24:14 AM | Well, To be totally honest and tell the truth about myself. All i have is a GED that i got back in 92. But even after doing that i found out that in a lot of ways i am smarter than a lot of collage educated people. Don't mean that to sound like i am bragging or trying to put any one down. What i am trying to say is there are people who get there education by going to school or collage and that is OK in and of itself. But there is one thing that will teach you more than any school. And that is life. I guess you might say i have street smarts and i have survived when the text book smart didn't know what to do. Don't get me wrong, Nothing wrong with a good education. I want my two sons to have what i didn't have but at the same time i also want them to have my kind of smarts. That way i know they will survive. I have found in my life that education will get you to the door. But plain old horse sense will get you through the door and out the other side. That is why when i look at a womans profile i never look to see what kind of education or profession she has. Doesn't matter to me. Don't mean to step on anyones toes here but i have seen collage educated people that didn't have one whit of common sense and couldn't understand simple things. Anyway, I still say all that matters is who they are and what they are and a big education doesn't make the person.  | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:47:51 AM | Hi five to eddie2704 and DV8nation
Without a doubt, two of the best posts on this topic I've seen.
Eddie, Will Rogers said it best: "Everyone is ignorant, only in different subjects."
Yeah, like you Eddie, I have a GED. I was orphaned at age 16. Overnight, I had a mortgage to pay and and needed food to put on the table. I was not one of the fortunate ones that had a mommy and daddy to send me off to college. so I suppose I missed a lot. The beer bashes, all night drunk parties, pantie raids, and the 4 years to get through the doors with a piece of paper that says I be smart!
Fortunately, I have held jobs that many well educated people have never had the good fortune to attain. Owned my own businesses a couple of times. I did alright.
Then I perhaps foolishly fell in love and forged my birth certificate to get married at age 17. And to this day I am mad about that. The well educated judge forgot to ask me for it! And this street smart guy had to spend $4.oo on a bottle of peacock blue ink to change the date on this fancy, suitable for framing certificate from the hospital I was born in. That was the best and ONLY forgery I even did! and all for nothing! LOL
I have met more educated idiots then you can shake a stick at!
I am not bashing college educated people...far from it. I honestly wish I would have had the opportunity, time and money to have gone. I admire many in professions that only a school of higher learning will prepare you for; Such as doctors and nurses. Especially nurses.
OK, off my soapbox with this closing note: I have read many profiles and forum posts from those that are well educated. So tell me why I see so many typos, misspelled words and sentence formation you can't even understand? Hell, at least I am smart enough to run spell check!  | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:36:46 AM | | Tired of women who messaged me hoping my pockets were deep. Personally I don't see where that would be an issue unless you're either looking for a certain status, or narrow minded in who might be your match. | |
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| Lack of information in profession slot
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:09:16 AM | Hey Jim...I have no problem agreeing to disagree with the fundamental issue of it being important to me and not to you. I will however respond to your comments from your posts 214 and 215.
First of all...I'm not British--I'm an American who moved here 6 years ago. I'm originally from a very small town in Maine and now live in a good sized city in England.
Then...I separated income and profession in my comment. I did not put them together...they are not one and the same. I consider someone's profession as part of their personality. If someone is in law enforcement or the medical services it might tell me they work shifts...if someone is in education it might tell me they probably will have a lifetime of learning and such...there are a million reasons for looking at a profession. If the arbitrary 'education' is put in, how on earth does that correspond to an income? They could be teachers assistants or substitute teachers or tenured professors-bit of discrepancy in incomes...to me I find it interesting to see the field the person has chosen. I do want someone with an income on a par to mine...I've done struggling and fighting over money. I've been stuck in over weekends and not been able to afford to go to the local cafe for a cheap meal...I much prefer to have someone who is able to enjoy things as I do now. I don't want his money, but I want him to have his and for us to be able to enjoy our lives. I don't want the lack of money to be an issue as I get closer to retirement. Profession and income are completely unrelated.
As far as your dream about the lottery...your opinion is that it's romantic and you're sharing the information when you should, but I disagree. I'm not being hard or difficult about it--it's my feeling. You are being deceptive about part of what you are if you don't bring it up until YOU are sure of the relationship...great showing of trust as the relationship is developing.
And to your comment about 'playing nice'--you assumed I looked at your profession I take it--I didn't. My response would have been the same if you were a shepherd in the hills of Scotland or the CEO of a multinational company.
I absolutely agree you have your right to not add it, but this is a public forum and I've made my thoughts public.
Agreeing to disagree now... | |
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