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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:41:58 PM | Thank you so much for all your input. Watch too much CSI, maybe. My daughter in 3rd year Laurentian University in Forensics. I dunno.
Me thinks he was already in town, around my apartment, knows where I work after seeing me leave in the morning. (Would I see him parked across the street, don't think so)
The guy looked at me straight on in the car. Window rolled down, me clearly seeing him. Wonder how he would have reacted had I walked a little close and said hi.
I went home, got on line within the hour (he could be at a motel in town, what do I know) I got on MSN and said "Hi, where are you?".... he said 'talking to you'. I just about lost it.
Still creeped out! | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:44:04 PM | That sounds scarey!! You have every reason to be concerned. There are a lot of crazies out there. Male and female.
I wouldn't go to the police just yet. Just be cautious. Keep an eye out for him and if he continues to follow you, than report it. The police will likely dismiss it. They don't tend to take these things seriously unless someone gets killed.
Good luck! | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:44:28 PM | Actually she has been accessing POF through the ON Star on her new On Star equipped ** vehicle... One of 33 so equipped models...
Small Town.... How many grocery stores could it have....
Op is likely talking to someone local....
Could a local single guy shop the same small town grocery story as a single girl?
Oh no, that would be a co-ed grocery store... Obviously the OP would never shop at a co-ed grocery store....
ME Thinks OP needs to go to see doctor... | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:48:16 PM | To post 21
How do you define 'computer savy'?
I am ok whne it comes to Pc's but I am not geek.
But I have been able to sort out some problems that a lot of people might not be able to fix.
But could I track a person using just an e mail?
NO.
No wonder I am not getting any response. I am probably e mailing women to distrustful to respond to me.
Or they are attention seekers that won't hide their profile.
I am serious about finding someone.
But I am beginning to think POF is as good as what you pay to it.
While it costs nothing, you get nothing. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:53:14 PM | Lauren,
When you chatted with him yesterday, after this all happened, why didn't you just say something to him like "So I saw you at the grocery store today - you saw me, I saw you -- why didn't you say hello"? and then see his response. It's not too late to do this.
So are you saying he doesn't live in the same town that you do?
If you both live in the same town and it's on the smallish side, I would imagine there aren't a lot of grocery stores - so would it be that hard to imagine you'd end up at the same one? Maybe he stared because he was trying to figure out if you were the same person from the pic he'd seen.
based on your conversations the 2 nights you chatted, did you gather from him, any reason that he'd be driving a car w/ a dealer plate on it? (car salesman? did he say he was looking to buy a new car ((and maybe taking this one for a test drive))?) | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:54:25 PM | I was walking around the store for half an hour before seeing him. Who says he didn't come in after me and go to the check out ahead of me.
A lawyer friend said years ago, if you can think of it, it can be done. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:12:08 PM |
Msg: 25 -- several people were basing their response on the misbelief that her place of employment was this particular grocery store.
I must admit that was the basis of my original post, but I STILL believe that my queries supercede that presumption. BOTH had made contact PREVIOUSLY. BOTH apparently knew the face of the other. My ONLY problem with this whole encounter is WHY **NEITHER** said **OUGHT** to the OTHER!!!! From what I can discern, they BOTH recognized each other but chose NOT to acknowledge the fact. WTF does THAT mean?
You see, THIS is the MAIN THRUST of ALL my posts on this thread. BOTH have reciprocated contact. BOTH know the facial features of the other. And YET, in a PUBLIC LOT, they, umm, **WHAT**?**, choose NOT to openly acknowledge some sort of recognition? THESE are the questions looming in my mind. WHY did he CHOOSE not to VERBALLY recognize her? WHY did she CHOOSE not to VERBALLY recognize him?
Personally, I find BOTH parties at fault. BOTH communicated at WILL. BOTH **FAILED** to communicate FACE-TO-FACE. And, you know, the *****SADDEST***** part of all is that they BOTH **FAILED** ****MISERABLY**** at experimenting with a relationship that could have been exponentially REWARDING for the BOTH of them. WHY? I can't say for him, but Msg: 1 was EXTREMELY suspicious, and I DO **NOT** fault her for that. The "Signs of the Times" do exist, after all. I DO, however, place fault more in HIS court. HE TRULY FAILED. HE DROPPED THE BALL. HE **SHOULD** have SAID **SOMETHING**. And FOR THAT, he BEARS the BLAME for the **FAILURE** of what COULD have been an idyllic relationship.
JMHO | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:19:04 PM | Okay re reading this, you were saying the guy DOES look like the guy you spoke too,, your words were a bit out of order so I was confused... however,
I still think you are being paranoid We see people in reality all the time that we also see on POF, doesnt mean they are stalking you.. means that they get out and have a life.. this would be like me joining a meetup group and seeing out a guy on there I also met on POF , doesnt mean he is stalking me its a counisidence (spelled wrong) happens all the time..
I was being silly about you working at a grocery store, but how are you saying he tracked you there? makes no sense
I have a theory about people who watch way to much tv, ever notice the dateline shows s on couples killing each other are on weekends when singles are alone? watch enough of these and you may not want to venture out of the house..
pick up a hobby get out and maybe you will meet someone at a event,and even recognize them from POF and hopefully will realize that its just a counsidence
to the message above..he may have thought she looked famialr but didnt know from where,and if he was wrong about knowing her from somewhere it could be awkward,or based on her reaction by just seeing him,scary, she may have run off screaming | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:29:18 PM |
Msg: 26 -- The guy looked at me straight on in the car. Window rolled down, me clearly seeing him. Wonder how he would have reacted had I walked a little close and said hi.
Yeah. As I said earlier, I **ALSO** wonder what would have happened had EITHER of you responded the way I think you SHOULD have. But then I grew up in a different age. I lived in a time when picking up hitchhikers was NOT risky. In the 60s and 70s I picked up hitchhikers ALL the time. THESE DAYS I pass them by without even a second thought, not even a pause on the accelerator. HEAR WHAT I SAY. At one time in my life, I would have picked up ANY hitchhiker. THESE DAYS, I pick up **NONE**!!! I have learned that such a practice CAN BE FATAL! Now, I have never had a LIFEnDEATH battle with a hitchhiker, but I HAVE **READ** enough to be fearful of such an encounter, hence my life-long decision to NEVER trust another. Since I TRULY don't understand the female analogy of the same sort of experience with a new relationship, this is the ONLY concrete thing I can fall back on. For that reason, I can't blame you for your reticence on responding to him. I DO, however, find MUCH fault with him for not acknowledging his recognition of you. He suffered no threat. You did. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:31:36 PM | | Playing the devil's advocate - assuming this really WAS the guy she's been communicating with, maybe he thought SHE was stalking him? After all, she would have parked her car after he did, she went into the store and left it, after him. He could be wondering the same thing. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:45:51 PM | I have many unanswred questions:
(1) do you work at the store ? this is asked be cause you refer to it as my store and you say you get on POF from work.
(2) Did you set up your msn account from Home or work?this has bearing as to where the ISP was addressed
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:50:45 PM |
Msg: 36 -- Playing the devil's advocate - assuming this really WAS the guy she's been communicating with, maybe he thought SHE was stalking him? After all, she would have parked her car after he did, she went into the store and left it, after him. He could be wondering the same thing.
WOW!!!! Truly, I NEVER would have thought of it from THAT angle! Having NEVER been in that situation, that sort of thing would have never crossed my mind. BUT, as SHE related the sequence of events, it COULD have seemed that way to HIM. She was NEXT in line. She arrived at her car AFTER him. She FOLLOWED him on the way home. WHEW!!!!
Umm, OK, now, refresh my memory? I'm a bit confused at this point. WHO is SUPPOSEDLY **STALKING** WHOM????
D@MN, WTF sucked me into THIS thread to begin with?
Ahh, I remember, now. It's a bit dim, but I think it has something to do with bats, night vision, candles, a belfry, and perhaps a bit of premonition. But this is SO unclear to me at this point.
This situation may be further exacerbated by my uncertainty of spirit, confusion of mind, and infirmity of body. The contribution of these three in unison quite probably results in my confusion concerning this subject. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:57:18 PM | | Him thinking she was stalking her? that was my other thought as well, especially since she then FOLLOWED him in her car (actually was only behind him, see how things get misconstrued?) . lol so who is stalking who again? he is probably on another thread about leaving a grocer store and being stalked by a woman who stared at him... I need a score card I think | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:11:52 PM |
Msg: 37 -- I have many unanswred questions:
Umm, yeah, and so do others, including myself. So far, I have seen NO adequate response.
(1) do you work at the store ? this is asked be cause you refer to it as my store and you say you get on POF from work.
From what I have admittedly inaccurately ascertained, she does NOT work at the grocery store, contrary to what I had originally presumed.
She apparently works elsewhere, but this is not accurately documented.
(2) Did you set up your msn account from Home or work?this has bearing as to where the ISP was addressed
This question has, at present, ALSO been inadequately addressed. Personally, though, I don't see the pertinence. BOTH **CHOSE** NOT to acknowledge one another. THIS is what I find disconcerting.
They BOTH exchanged emails. They both exchanged photos. They BOTH apparently recognized each other. WHY WAS THERE NO VERBAL EXPRESSION OF RECOGNITION GIVEN BY **EITHER** OF THEM???? You see, THIS is where my comprehension becomes a bit twisted. Why NO sign of "I know you, we talked, we emailed, we exchanged pictures"????
There TRULY is something MISSING in the translation of all this. AND, even though this is truly NONE of my business NOR should it be of ANY concern to ANYONE ELSE, the fact that it has been POSTED to THIS forum is VALID CAUSE for my curiousity.
My apologies for being so bold, but I think that the readers of this forum DO have the right to know. Msg: 1, you posted it, you REALLY SHOULD let us know more about what you REALLY fear. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:16:49 PM |
I went home, got on line within the hour (he could be at a motel in town, what do I know) I got on MSN and said "Hi, where are you?".... he said 'talking to you'. I just about lost it.
Still creeped out!
You know that 'talking to you' would be a smartass remark? That's something I would say to someone just because... well... it's obvious, isn't it? I don't see how this is creepy at all. And I do think you're being entirely too paranoid about the matter. Why don't you just say something simple like how you thought you saw him at the store? Or is common sense replaced by paranoia?
The whole ISP tracing thing... uh... yeah, sure, you can manage to find someone's ISP but the whole finding the information like your address and all that, how is that easy? I'm very computer savvy and have no knowledge of how to do this short of being some sort of cracker that can manage to get into an ISP's info.
I find it pretty hard to believe that this guy is so good at doing all this stuff and how he wants to stalk you like this and conveniently do everything right to follow you like they do in the movies or on TV or something.
Really, the odds of this happening aren't very likely. Not that it couldn't happen and you should rule it out, but I think there's far too much emphasis being put on this whole idea that he's stalking you. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:43:50 PM |
Msg: 39 -- Him thinking she was stalking her? that was my other thought as well, especially since she then FOLLOWED him in her car (actually was only behind him, see how things get misconstrued?) . lol so who is stalking who again? he is probably on another thread about leaving a grocer store and being stalked by a woman who stared at him... I need a score card I think
OK, two forks in the road. First, she stalks him. Second, he stalks her.
Wanna go for a third? How about they BOTH are SO **ENAMORED** with each other that they BOTH are IN FACT STALKING each OTHER????
Hey, this IS a far-fetched stretch, but who is to say this can NOT happen?
SCENARIO:
She sees him in the checkout line. According to the story, he IS in fact ahead of her in the line.
He sees her behind him. He chalks it up as a future opportunity. BTW, so does SHE.
He packs his groceries, then sits and waits.
She approaches and packs her groceries.
He sees her and pretends not to notice, presumably out of shyness.
She sees him and pretends not to notice, again, presumably of shyness.
EACH of them presume the onslaught of a STALKER and EACH **FEAR** the presence of the other for THIS **REASON** ALONE!!!!
HE departs, heading toward his domicile or possibly using a deceptive path because of his fear of being stalked.
SHE, apparently having the UPPER HAND, simply FOLLOWS him, for NO OTHER REASON than the fact that she is going HOME and he is going in the SAME direction. She has NO REASON for evasive action since she is APPARENTLY following him.
I won't carry it any further at this point, but would anyone be willing to fill in any blanks that I may have missed?
Key points of translation: Why does she follow HIM? Why does he follow the path toward her domicile? After writing each other, why do they SEEM to FEAR each other?
Summation: Would they NOT have met anyway? Would NOT one of them have suggested a "coffee" or "doughnut" in SOME public place? Truly, I am curious as to HOW this situation SHOULD have worked out, since the way it DID work out was TRULY PATHETIC ON SO MANY LEVELS. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:48:04 PM | I go along with the notion that he just happened to be there. He was there first. How could he possibly know that you were going to go for groceries after work?
And sometimes strange things do happen.
I communicated with a guy who lived 3 hours away from me, but he lived in the same city as my daughter...
I went to visit her, we went out to a pub...and lo and behold...There he was.
If it wasn't for the fact that I was with a date, I'd definitely have gone over to talk to him. Instead, I snuck glances at him, he snuck glances at me...
My point (and I do have one) is that no one was stalking anyone.
Coincidence. That happens sometimes. That's why we have the word "coincidence" in the English language.
And always, the best policy is to be direct.
When you're chatting to him, tell him what happened...That you thought you saw him at a grocery store. That's the quickest way to find out the truth.
Good luck to you. And lesson learned, I hope. Don't use the computer, at work, for personal business... | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:00:50 PM |
I wouldn't go to the police just yet. Just be cautious. Keep an eye out for him and if he continues to follow you, than report it.
Report WHAT? That the guy parked next to her looked at her? That he looked like some guy she saw a week ago on a dating site?
If the OP lives in a small town, she probably DID see the same guy, if he lives in the same town. She probably sees him all the time, but just noticed him after seeing his picture online. He was staring at her? Maybe he was trying to see if it was the same person who's picture he saw.
I'm sorry, but that average person can NOT track down your address from an IP address. It doesn't work that way. IP addresses change at least daily, if not every few hours. If you have dialup, your IP address changes every time you log on.
If you are this paranoid, get off the internet before you have some poor guy locked up just for looking at you. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:27:08 PM |
Msg: 29 -- But I am beginning to think POF is as good as what you pay to it.
While it costs nothing, you get nothing.
Hmph! Ever been on a REAL LIVE DATE???? I mean, REALLY gone OUT with some woman on whom you hung your heart, only to find that she was just a plastic Barbie Doll? Truly, have you? If so, then WELCOME to the REAL WORLD!!!!
If, in fact, you have had this experience BOTH in the REAL world AND on POF, then STAY with POF while at the same time trying to work the same magic in your real life.
HARSH WORDS HERE: POF **IS** REAL LIFE!!!! The ONLY thing POF guarantees is the opportunity for REAL CONTACT. "OH, did she get the message?" No point in even ASKING that. POF ELIMINATES ALL DOUBT. Check your "Sent Messages". You will see either "unread/deleted", "read/deleted", or "read". For the first two possibles, there IS NO DOUBT SHE IS **NOT** INTERESTED. I mean, REALLY, how STUPID do you have to be to NOT KNOW that "unread/deleted" or "read/deleted"? Umm, may I pose what I consider a PROFOUND REVELATION? Hmph, OK, even WITHOUT a request I will POST the OBVIOUS: if your "Sent Message" shows "Deleted", whether "Read" or "Unread", that MEANS you **WASTED** your time with her. The EFFORT you used to construct the MESSAGE was **WASTED**! Now, I truly don't know what to say to you MEN out there, but FOR MYSELF, when I detect a WASTED EFFORT, I **TRULY** MOVE ON! I do NOT relish the idea of WASTING effort OR time. So, when a woman sends ME a CLEAR MESSAGE that my TIME/EFFORT is WASTED, that BECOMES my strivings toward her desires.
Translation?: OH, COME ON, DO YOU **REALLY** ****NEED**** this? OK, sorry for the insult to those who TRULY do NOT understand, here comes the CRUEL revelation.
If you see "read/deleted" or "unread/deleted" in your "Sent Files", then, your heart's desire is *****NOT***** INTERESTED!!!! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT HER AGAIN!!!!
If you see "read" and NOT "deleted", there MAY be a chance, but I hold no hope. Wait for the message to AUTOMATICALLY disappear from your "Sent" listings BEFORE you send another. The method by which you accomplish this task varies WIDELY from one system to another. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:35:10 PM | Let me see, small town, same grocery store at the same time.
Never met in real life but know what each other look like.
Hmmm........ maybe he was just as shocked to see you as you were to see him.
Maybe he wasn't sure if it was you and wasn't sure whether to say anything or not.
Naw........ everyone knows things like this don't happen.
I am willing to bet he bought duct tape and garbage bags. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:19:50 PM | Oh, my. No wonder every other person on this site thinks they have one or two or many "stalkers."
I can only imagine the conversation the poor schmuck later had with a buddy about the "intense" woman who stared at him in the grocery store, glared at him when she got to her car (which happened to be beside his) and then apparently followed him for a bit.
OP, I seriously don't see how this encounter was "scary," even if by one of those strange co-incidences he WAS the guy you were talking to (co-incidences happen even in huge cities, much less smaller towns). I just don't see the scary, creepy, call-the-cops factor in the original scenario or any of the follow-ups.
People bump into one another sometimes. It doesn't mean anything, unless it escalates. Really. Take another look at what you've posted, with a dispassionate eye. | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:36:24 PM | To go back to the original question for a moment.. About ISPs and being identified....I got kicked off a site they said for spamming, which I did not, but they said the spam came from my ISP. How can this happen? This happened right after I started messaging on yahoo with someone new so I am suspicious of him, and my connection became slower than dialup the next day (I have DSL), but called my IP and tech support helped me get it back up to speed (no pun intended)........either that or someone on that site made it up to get me kicked off that site. Please educate me....thanks  | |
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| Can one be traced to their ISP (computer),
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:48:54 PM | Hi Psyche_Doc,
I'm not a computer expert by any means but here's what I think happened in your case. I used to frequent a hobby forum that was often hit by spammers or trolls. Often these creeps used large ISPs like AOL. Because uses on AOL don't each have a static IP# such that the Admin can specifically trace the offender to their IP# and then block THAT specific IP#, she would have to block the entire AOL domain. (with AOL, each time you log onto the internet, you're assigned a slightly different IP#, it's never the same, it's "dynamic" as opposed to "static). What this meant was, innocent people who used AOL were inadvertently banned as well. I suspect that may have been what happened in your case? | |
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