| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:23:33 PM | | Wouldn't be a turn-off, but not necessarily a turn-on. It would be somewhat of a weight off my shoulders since I would be in the same boat though. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:28:07 AM | Ah, Yarimelma...
I don't know 1 single guy who wouldn't be turned off by a 41yr old woman acting like a HS girl..... I guess you don't get into role-playing then, 'eh?
Annudder | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:11:47 AM | Tell her you understand that she may have lost some flexibility, but that's why K-Y was invented. Tell her to lie down, open up and you'll have a look into it to see if she's got enough extension. Keep saying "....a little more...." until she's ready to take the QE2, then "....nah, not enough, we can't do it."
She won't let you out of the home until she's fisted. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:25:39 AM | | I've been busy trying to raise a child with some special needs issues, so although I had dates I wasn't really into anyone that I met. And I don't think I have it in me to just sleep around with whoever just to scratch an itch. Yes, I understand there are people who do the fwb thing, but the very last man that I was with I thought for sure I could trust him, and when we finally did go there I didn't let him know it had been so long, my fault, I know I didn't realize I would have the reaction that I did. It was a little akward and then I had to tell him and unfortunatly I guess it wigged him out a little. Like pissed him off a little. So now I'm faced with the situation again and this time I just want to make sure ya know. And no I really don't think I'm acting like a HS girl, I am an adult obviously, but just a little burned. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:09:06 AM | I don't think you are acting at all like a HS girl. You are trying to be honest and come to grips with something that is uncomfortable enough just to talk about, let alone live through.
That's called maturity.
I'll go out on a limb and label the guy who seemed to get pissed immature, although I wasn't there and that may be unfair to an otherwise okay guy.
I've never understood the FWB thing, either, but that's just me.
My opinion? (worth all of 2¢ US, which is pretty much next-to-nothing these days) ...You are doing the right thing in trying to meet the problem headon by discussing it with your SO.
Good luck...
Annudder | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:03:21 PM | For me it would be a turn off. It shows that she is approaching the matter in a self centered and insecure way. To me it has nothing to do with sex, it means she is still unsure of herself, of you, and the relationship. Therefore I would not continue or approach the subject, or activity, until she was secure in herself and actively wanting to participate. Otherwise almost every action is going to be second guessed. Therefore her mind isn't in the situation or moment, it's on what the situation or moment means.
It's not like riding a bike. It's like walking after prolonged periods of immobility. You may need physical therapy to get back to normal but you have to want to do it... and sometimes you need to practice on your own. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:47:26 PM | | It wouldn't be a turn off for me. It's not unreasonable for people for be nervous about something that they haven't done in a while. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:28:13 PM | | I don't see why you really need to tell him at all. Just relax and be yourself. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:59:37 AM | The sharks on here see this as a feeding frenzy; I haven't been on a date in so long I don't have a clue, I'm new to dating so take it easy on me, I just went through a break up and thought I would give this a try, I'm new on here so maybe for the first date we can relax with a few drinks and take it from there, my friends told me I should try this site out etc... | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:48:36 AM | | Thanks again, all of the insights have been if nothing else a BIG relief. Sometimes I am just thinking there are so many who act like having sex is like kissing. IDK! So not for me. For me anyway it is something that is shared between two people who care about eachother on a very deep level. Thanks again | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:27:45 AM | | Why would it be a turn off? Also why would it be a turn off if you were a virgin. It's amazing that it's now a turn on that a woman has had a lot of hands on her. Sorry, I'm not into that type of girl. You should be fine. If he has a problem with it, then move on. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:29:37 PM | | Not a problem. It's like riding a bike; if you haven't done it in a while, might be a little fumbling around at first, but that's part of the fun. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:26:18 PM | | mr Firefighter......... Sharks?frenzy?dont'have a clue?break up? A FEW DRINKS ????????? ahhhhhhhhhhh yes that should loosen her up!!!!!!! Wine and chat,yup that should do it!!!!!!!!......Looks like your on the recovering road to a relationship.......beats sittin around crying over spilt milk!!!! | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:41:51 AM | | I would appreciate her openess about her feelings. So definately wouldn't be a turn off, better knowing that (than having some unknown issues arrise later on) | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:26:59 AM | | I would say that this situation calls for a lot of tender loving care. I would just have to suffer and take my time to make sure you enjoyed yourself. “OH GEE IF THIS IS TORCHER THAN CHAIN ME TO THE WALL.” | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:41:47 AM | I would think it was kind of cute.
But I suspect that is not the real issue here, but a misplaced diagnosis of why the dude got weird after sex. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:53:36 AM | Most that think that way, and willing to share it, will also be the ones leading the way to make it happen because they found someone that has tapped that side of them......
There is nothing right or wrong with it at all, just one more thing to discuss and enjoy about that person, if they are to be with you and you them.....
Just my opinion.....   | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:19:32 PM | Been a while for me too, so scratch my back and I'll scratch yours?
If you get my drift? No more problem | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:40:13 PM | | If we weren't to the point where she felt comfortable enough to talk about it, we would not be at the point of being ready to do it. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:12:25 AM | Would have a few thoughts rushing through my head, such as:
"You seem fine to me, are you about to change all that?" or
"Is this the part where you open up the suitcase with all your emotional baggage in it?"
To me the poster's phrase would indicate a lack of self confidence. Certainly not a dealbreaker but I wouldn't dwell on it as a topic of conversation. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:41:38 PM | It would be a turn off if the lady wouldn't clarify WHAT exactly she was talking about, instead of getting straight to the point. The poor guy would be left scratching his head.
thats its been a really looong time for her
Long time for what exactly? Do you mean, a long time since:
1) sex?
2)a date?
3)dinner at McTuckies?
4)being allowed out of work early?
5)a holiday abroad.
6)sex on a holiday abroad....
blah blah blah...
If the answer is - any of the above, I would at least listen to what she had to say, & then thank her for being honest, before saying - no it would not be a turn off. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:12:46 PM | | not a turn off at all. its all good. it would be kinda nice and refreshing actually. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:40:15 PM |
Geezus.... they're gonna run for the hills thinking you're gonna kill them with your insatiable sexual appetite 'cause you haven't had it in so long. BRING IT ON!  | |
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