| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:40:15 PM |
Geezus.... they're gonna run for the hills thinking you're gonna kill them with your insatiable sexual appetite 'cause you haven't had it in so long. BRING IT ON!  | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:57:56 PM | | no not a turn off at all,... but mention it once casually and then leave it. Go on about it and talk about your nerves, how it will be better the next time, its been a while etc... total turn off | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:02:13 PM | OP,
Honesty is the best policy in my book. Some one who is open about how they are feeling from moment to moment is a definite plus. I've had relationships in the past where though my partner claimed they were open, they were not about all things. Any new guy worth his salt, would see your honesty as a good thing and if he's interested will show that interest by giving you the benefit of the doubt and engaging you despite your reticence over the whole dating process. Likewise, if he is not interested he'll tell you straight up he has a problem and will back down, anything in between is straddling the line of game playing.
much success. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:08:34 PM |
Are you kidding? It would be refreshing as hell!! It would beat the hell out of hearing how many FWB's or FB's she was doing until the RIGHT one came along
LOL I gotta say its a relief to hear this. And this has been illuminating ... good meter to know whether you've misplaced that decision to finally step out. Or should I say misjudged that first (post divorce) person to sleep with. So far, the gentlemen have voted for "cute", "refreshing", "not a problem", etc. and the rest of you would run for the hills.
Keep right on self-selecting, guys.
Jules
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:19:50 PM | | Certainly not a turn off. More than that, it's not even an issue. It is infact a turn on because it shows moderation, and more openess to sexuality | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:38:14 PM | [I don't know 1 single guy who wouldn't be turned off by a 41yr old woman acting like a HS girl.....]
I don't think she is acting like a HS girl, given her situation as presented she's probably very jumpy.
"Us" girls worry about pleasing men too.
If you are far enough in the relationship to do "it" then you are far enough in the relationship to discuss "it", before you do "it". If you are up-front and honest, most likely he will allow you to take your time, and he will take his. If he bolts just because you let him know that it has been a long time, then he was not worth your time to begin with, better to know now than later. Courage girl, it will work out. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:36:48 PM | ^^^
I don't think she is acting like a HS girl, given her situation as presented she's probably very jumpy.
read Op's post again. Especially the line " Like worse than being a teenage virgin".
She said it herself
not me......
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:40:50 PM | OP - I think there will be some variation on how a guy might react. My personal opinion is that a guy that has a problem with it is likely looking for sex and little else. An honorable man who likes you, wants a relationship with you, and would like to be intimate with you as part of that relationship would be very understanding. A man who is confident and who knows what he's doing can be very gentle and make it a pleasant experience for both of you. I do think that you should communicate your feelings to him well in advance though. It is very important that he know that any hesitation on your part is due to the length of your inactivity and not something about him (if in fact that's the case).
BTW - I'm all for "hanging upside-down from the chandeliers" sex, but I also would have no problem at all going very slow for a woman in your situation (and any honorable man would do the same).
Good luck. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:04:06 AM | | why would that be a turn off, just the opposite, you chose me after your long hiatis, huge turn on | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:15:46 AM | | At least she's honest, plus the best part is that she's lettin you know where you stand right there. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:29:25 AM |
Hey guys, here is a question, I wonder if when your seening a woman how would you feel if she comes out and says thats its been a really looong time for her and she is kind of nervouse about the whole thing. Like worse than being a teenage virgin, not that I am by no means, but like I said it's been a long time. I'm a little worried about how to handle it. Would it be a turn off? Or would you think it was a strange situation?
Not at all...I'd respect her for being so communicative and open | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:21:34 AM | | No, not a turn off. Not strange either. Actually, more understandable that you think. Guys get nervous as well. If there is good passion and excitement between the two people involved it shouldn't matter at all... | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:11:37 AM | Not a turn off at all. All it means is that she is going to have a really, really good time when it finally does happen. 
Not to be too much of a nerd or anything, but there have been studies that have shown that the human brain kind of "programs" itself to achieve climax in a specific way over time. This adaptation also assists in the bonding between partners. A long period of abstinence kind of "degrades the programming", and is like starting with a clean slate where ones body is likely to respond well to the stimuli offered by the new partner.
This is also why excessive "self service" can seem to degrade sensitivity during intercourse by the way.... | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:39:09 AM | I'd think it was cute tbh shows your not slaggy etc....
i would make you more comfortable with yourself | |
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