| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:43:06 PM | I am like you. Been trying hard. No success in meeting a decent honest person and am ready to give up. I think the others have all said it very well :
When we least expect it, it will find us.
Best wishes to all. :-) | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:59:53 PM | I lost my husband suddenly 5 years ago and it does suck! That isn't what I wanted to tell you, you already know that. What I do want to say is how awesome you are to have come back after a blood clot in your brain. You said that you are back 99%! That's great!! You should be very proud of your accomplishment! Keep up the good work!
As a few of the others have said, she's out there...quit looking...she'll find you!
Have you given thought to helping someone who is going through rehab now and maybe you might be the person one person that can encourage them to join the 99 soon to be 100% club... Who better to encourage when you've already been where they are now!!!
Take care
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:46:32 PM | Never give up, the only thing that is timeless in any society is the persuit of happiness. U give up, you could pass bye your ship in the storm.....  | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:06:20 PM | """have been a member of nearly every dating site you can think of, all the major ones, lots of obscure ones, Christian ones, ones for motorcycle riders, local ones...you get the picture. I send messages, wink, break the ice, everything and rarely hear back. I have had a few dates in the last three years, but only a few. To make matters worse"""
I think you are trying to hard. By now you have learned most men don't get replies to their winks, etc. Haven't you "figured out" how internet dating works?
I'd stop paying those other sites (except maybe your one favorite). Just come here and BS around. If you see a local lady's profile, send her a charming , witty, masculine message. I've had great luck with "I have two tickets to the play this friday and was wondering if you are free". Sure, that may not be real personal since you don't know her yet..but at least the lady knows she gets to go to a nice play..instead of chillin with drinks, or riding a noisy motorcycle.
Who would say no to that, heck, I'd go with you! | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:16:46 PM | | The time to give up is when you have asked yourself that questionn far too mnay times. I think I've asked myself that too mnay times, and I more then likely wont be on here much longer .A person can only take so much. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:27:17 PM | | First of all......... your not the only one in this lonely world, but you did mention two teenage daughters, isn't that reason enough to keep going..... I myself get a lot of views but not getting any replys.... I come to realize that it is going to take some time for me to find my mate. I tell it like it is and maybe women had rather become excited by men whom lie.....Ever hear that let someone be telling a lie and people will gather in the numbers.......but when the truth is spoken , it is just too boring......All I can tell you is to find other things to live for .....and use this site for enjoyment .....you have more going for you than you realize...... | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:52:21 PM | | i'd go out with you if you lived closer. ND is too cold for me, brrrrrr. sorry to hear about the woman who dumped you, she sounds like a real winner, very insensitive. you don't need someone like her in your life. sounds like she was a fairweather friend. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:13:23 PM | | It has gotten brutal out there. Don't have much experience myself as I'm only 22 (Not too far from 23 Haha) But as a person with a very low amount of confidence I know how it is. You spend all your time pep talking yourself almost having a heart attack as you attempt to walk over then screw it up with your nerves anyway haha. Then you end up analyzing everyone and everything around you and constantly question yourself and question why not me and let me tell ya 9 times out of 10 it's wrong to think it's really you that's causing it.... It all boils down to confidence with a small slice of arrogance and then in the end it all points to your wallet size. Hate that it has to be that way in society nowadays. I've noticed more and more women giving up on true love purely based on their evaluation of finances in years to come. Think of what it's gonna be like in 20 or even 50 years, scares me even thinking about it. Oh none of this is supposed to be offensive towards women btw. Just a guys perspective having seen it first person. Who knows when to give, up don't think it's something anyone can advise you on really. Think it's something you just have to evaluate and execute on your own terms. Good luck mate. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:03:41 PM | You can't give up. Just keep chugging along you will get there. I have been on here for about five years, I know I will find him sometime soon, either here or there.
Be happy and it will happen, you seem like a really sweet person. You are better off without that one, she may have made you very unhappy. I could never turn my back on someone I loved, and you deserve better than what you received from her. So cheerup and keep fishing. LOL
PS, just go out for coffee the first date, that way no one owes anything to anyone. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:38:36 PM | Hi...I noticed the forum really late - IM'ng most of the night!
Have to say - you sound like a phenomenal guy! Strong, brave, loving, considerate, etc.
Do NOT ever let anyone with standards, beliefs and values less than yours make you question who you are and what you deserve! I know it is easier said than done but you have to believe. Good things come to those who wait... What goes around comes around... Believe and you shall achieve... Cliches - yes you are right but they are absolutely true.
I admire people who are strong and loving even if they have been chopped down. Hang in there...you will get what you deserve which is the love back that you give.
Best wishes & lots of luck & love...
Lora from Toronto - Canada | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:44:52 PM | OP, I looked at your profile you look like a great guy.. sorry for all the problems you have had. Being a cancer survivor I know how hard it is to recover from serious illness or injury... it can be devestating.
As I read your profile it says you are on 25 favorites lists.. hmm sounds to me like you are doing pretty good there.. I dunno..
You are pretty cute why don't you come down to Mississippi and visit me.. heheheh rofl. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:51:39 PM | Hey Sleepsafe:
Just want to say never give up, I been down a bad road myself lost my wife of 23yrs.
To cancer 6 months ago,after a long battle and a few more very much loved one in
in the last few years,It"s really hard being alone, but i got to tell you , its not you my
brother , theirs alot of selfish people out their.especially on these dating sites,they
don"t even no what they want, so don"t waste your precise time ,trying to fiqure
them out, move on ,your a better person ,and most definitely a stronger one ,its
just another bump in life"s road, you can do it, after what you been through , this
should be easy ,play the cards you were dealt,and beleive me you will come out a
winner ,I beleive someone will come alone when you least expect it. Wishing
you luck Brother it will be O.K. Take Care & Never Give Up You Never Did
Before....... | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:56:11 PM | Dear Sleepsafe,
I think its time for you to stay off the sites. Perhaps its time to go out and meet people. Join a club or church or volunteer for some charity, highway cleaning whatever...I think that creating friendships with people - men or women will take you out of your home and into the population. This (dating sites) is only one way at meeting people. Get out, mingle, go to an art opening me. Sitting in front of your computer will not make them knock down your door and say date me! Sometimes you can make friends who might have a sister, or cousin, or friend in which (in time) you can meet. You never know. So i wish the best in your journey. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:26:44 PM | | There is never a time to give up. We do not own life, we rent it. There are lots of decent people - - perhaps we look too hard and miss what is right in front of us? | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:35:35 PM | sleepsafe..its sounds like you are going thru a bit of a rough patch....you are only what..53yrs young? You have a bit of a stretch to go. From reading your profile you sound like a sweet man who is confident in himself and has alot to give (you're an Aries for golly sakes)..to the right person. Never give up..she is out there for you, maybe not here in line land. When you want it to happen it never seems to..it will probably happen when you are not expecting it. In the meantime get out, enjoy the world, make some friends and be happy with the knowledge that it will happen.
The problem with online dating is that there is always a door#2. That is why so many are so fussy.
Ride On Baby!! | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:52:07 PM | It is never time to give up on anything, if you really want it badly enough. But sometimes the cards aren't dealt the way you want them to, so what to do? You deal with it, and then set your sights ahead to the future. Oh I know what you're thinking, that's easier said than done, and maybe you're right. We all deal with grief and disasters in our own way, but we can't sit still, life goes on with, or without, us. We only get one life, and not a second chance to walk on this earth again, perhaps a little wiser.
Sometimes when things aren't going the way I want them to, I focus on something else. One thing happens, and then another and before I know it, life is wonderful. Trying to find a mate is one thing, but there are so many other things in life that can bring happiness. Join a group, volunteer your time, help others who are less fortunate, start a new hobby, learn new skills. The thing is to keep busy, meet new people but you have to put yourself out there!
Pink | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:37:53 PM | | If you are using the word "lonely", as in dying a lonely old man, then you are not ready to give up. I think that there are going to be plenty of people that will stay alone, and not pair up, but those people have to adjust to the idea that they can be alone without being lonely. They'll be just fine alone. You have to keep trying, because it doesn't sound like you're one of those people. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:51:18 PM | | sleepsafe, very interesting. i posted something similar and was told i violated the fish policy. anyways i hear what youre saying. i feel the same way, but its not about quiting. just focus your attention on things you like to do, hobbies, interests, church, friends and family. i think in time you will meet someone so awesome for you. i really wish you the best. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:52:09 PM | Just try and relax some. Think of things in terms of " I am where I am suppose to be". What is going to happen is going to happen when it is suppose to happen. In the meanwhile get to know the neighborhood and if there is anything you have a natural affection for see if there are any places that could use a helping hand and voluntieer.
The point is to always feel useful. When you are not useful it tends to make you concentrate on yourself to much. If you have any neighbors at all you could post some signs and invite people to a "welcome to the neighborhood cookout. Nothing fancy and just make sure you have hot dogs, hamburgers, and potatos handy so if more than expected show up you will have enough.
You could make it a Saturday event , to say , between the hours of until? just so it could be flexable.
Hope things get better for you.
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:51:23 AM | I really wish I could give up! My life would be so much easier and carefree if I didn't have such a huge desire to share life with a woman. I just can't ever seem to get into a relationship. I'm not trying to be all sad about it either I'm just saying the ability to give up would make me enjoy life more at this point. I guess I am still young, but it's not like I'm getting younger.
I really feel for the OP and hope things get better. However, he should be happy that he found someone and enjoyed being with them for such a long time. She's in a better place now and one day you'll join her. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:04:48 AM | OP, I liked your post. It shows humanity and that is something that a lot of people do not possess anymore... people for example, that would make comments such as "Get on with your life, You sound like your bathing in Selfpity". That really disgusted me when I read that.
Good luck OP, you seem like a really fine fellow to me. Don't change a thing, keep just being you. She'll come along. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:01:16 AM | I think some of us can get a bit to deep into the search for a partner and it can take over our lives,i have been like that and have shared your feelings with regards to giving up the search..i do think that if you are looking for a partner you should try and not just leave it to the chances of the internet if possible look elsewhere(irons in the fire as they say).I think to a certain extent you have to treat the search as a thing that may be fruitful but to remind youself its only a possibilty that something may turn up and not to have any real expectations.I dont want to sound negative but this is the way i deal with it after my own experiences.
good luck | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:13:29 AM | I gotta agree with shankari in msg #7 and man it will get better in time but it does take time to heal as well.
Peace man all will pass in time but we must give ourselves time to heal as well and before you know it that special person will come into your life. | |
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| When is it time to give up?
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:09:04 AM | I gave up once; and wasn't even looking; and a great guy found me. Weird story...save it for another time.
Keep the great job; the place you live sounds ideal...and never, ever give up. Sorry about your wife; and the other woamn; couldn't see you through your illness / injury - she had a picture of healthy perception; and your being laid up - shattered it...she couldn't look down the road and see a recovery. I think you have done very well. A limp; wear it like a badge; as it was a hell of a thing to recover from. Congrats!
I think you should invest in your job; the area you live; and continue on your path to health; perhaps play around a bit with dating sites; and I feel out of the blue - love will find you! Hugs | |
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