| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:02:42 AM |
I think it's pretty "bitter" when someone points out that maybe, just maybe it's not only men that should take all the pressure of being the perfect lover, and a women has to come back with the old cliche "he must be bitter" statement to try and deflect the topic. People really need to come up with more original material in here. It makes me laugh. No one here has used the term "perfect lover" until you showed up. If you are feeling this pressure, it's your pressure, not one we have unfairly burdened you with to make your sojourn on earth more difficult or you are choosing your partners very badly.
Hate to confuse you with biological facts, but in most cases it takes longer and there are more variables for a woman to reach orgasm than for men. There are variables here, like body image, because we know men are visual. There are emotional/psychological components as well.
Most women are looking for the lover that works for them. No woman that I know has ever expected a man to be perfect in bed. Pretty much all we could wish for is for a man to be sensitive to our needs. That is not something that requires advanced training, it is a mindset.
Every woman is different, we don't all want the same things, need the same things, or like the same things. One woman's perfect could be another woman's nightmare. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/12/2008 11:33:52 AM | Give me a break; you sound like an add that is trying to say unprotected sex without expectations is what women should ask from you.
All men ejaculate some during sex. Even if its a small amount.
Don't believe the hype ladies. A man will make every excuse in the world at having unprotected sex and NONE is acceptable.
The way to help you in my mind is to get you to go to counseling to get over your fear of condoms. However phony it may be. Very mental. No condom, no sex. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:27:01 AM | | Phoney, like hell, I have tried the woman helping me, and it just does not work! Arrogant veiws such as yours don't exactly help either. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:46:58 AM | Lotsa BS on here. I have no prob using rubbers with a lady I know I am 99.999% sure I don't need them with, about a one in ten chance with one I don't. It's a little like sticking it thru a hole in the wall of a men's room stall not knowing what's on the other side except it's alive. No I don't do that either.
Never heard of a guy that didn't ejaculate, an old GF told me about one that didn't lose his hard after he did, and she could just stay on as long as she liked. I told her might better see if you can get him back! | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:00:01 AM | Personally... I still think men are generally under some sort of pressure to "perform". But last I checked... Some of us men still do enjoy a challenge... I know I do.
However the OP has touched upon something here. I'm sure there are biological and psychological reasons for this pressure... But there is also a vital influence coming from our 24/7 media.
More and more women are being encouraged to cum. Heck... Even some of them feel that pressure to "squirt" or "cream" or "convulse" whatever... So perhaps "sexual performance" is more of a symptom of our hectic, 24/7 rat race that is modern Western society.
Anyway, prepare to get your tongues into shape Gentlemen!  | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:12:54 AM | to mr nobody
Sometimes not being able to ejaculate is because of a deep seated fear of making a woman pregnant in your past.
You need to ask to be referred to a psycho-sexual therapist.
Tantric views on this are that as long as a man orgasms he doesnt need to actually ejaculate (they are two entirely seperate entities).
can you ejaculate if your prostrate is massaged?
as for unprotected sex?
Stupidity first class in my opinion, unless you're in a long term utterly monogamous commited relationship.
unprotected sex means you may as well have sex with every single person that person has had sex with.
There is NO excuse!!
you can put sex into a relationship, but you cant put a relationship into just sex!
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:24:03 AM | | OP I can really sympathize with you. I used to have the same problem as you, but luckily for me not nearly as bad. What I found was that it wasn't a physical problem, but rather a mental stimulation one for me. Sounds to me like you are missing a key ingredient when it comes to your sex life, much as I was. For me I found that I have to be in total control in the bedroom, ie, bondage and all that kind of stuff. I know it is all mental, but for me I couldn't finish physically without the mental part also. Also, this is nothing to be ashamed of, we are all wired differently, some of us just have a little different wiring is all. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:38:53 AM |
but women don't have any pressure or really care if they're perfect at love making or not. It seems like women's egos are so huge in bed they think that they're perfect at love making just because they show up. Big news flash, there are just as many women who are LOUSY in bed as men.
I don't know about this dude. Most of the women I've been with were interested in giving me pleasure and that I also came. In fact, my gf now, is one of those that if I don't achieve an orgasm, will wait a little later and then try again and again, until she gives me one. Of course we have to be careful during the week, or we will end up, UP all night and we do have jobs and things to do as well. Hehehe. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:54:13 AM | Sexual perfomance - I have no expectations other than "Willy" to get his groove on when we have the desire to share in an intimate moment. "He" does not have to ejaculate at "command" nor have I known a man that does not ever ejaculate so this is not an issue.
Deflate when about to get it on? Hmmm....Possibly is turned off by them or not fully "charged". At which point, the partner can do things to get him where he needs to be. Unless this is a medical condition/issue. Then you seek medical counseling.
Depending on the situation and the level of the relationship, it may hinder the relationship.
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:07:38 AM |
Are men under too much pressure to perform sexually in every aspect of sex?
I don't think it's just men, I think it's all people! Men are always expected to get hard, last long and offer up a huge finish. And women are expected to reach multiple orgasms, be very vocal but not over-bearing or "whorish" and be able to do almost whatever the man asks for. Society as a whole puts this pressure on thanks to unrealistic porn movies where men stand there humping for what seems like hours and women are looking so lustfully at them begging and pleading for more, more, more! Hollyweird really messes everything up - from the 'G-rated' movies all the way to the porn industry.
Also have problems with condoms, show my tackle a condom, it deflates
Sorry but that's a psychological issue and not a physical one. You make it sound like there really is a 'brain' in the 'head' down there and make men who use there God-given brain look ridiculous with statements like this one. Thanks to HIV/AIDS as well as other STDs it's almost become a needed thing to either have one or wear one when the time comes for sex. Just because "bareback" is becoming the new fad in the LGBT community doesn't mean that straight men and women are suddenly going to just turn the clock back to the 60's and 70's and start having unprotected sex with just anyone. | |
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| Sexual performance.........
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:21:49 PM | Well of course we all want to be considerate of our partners and enjoy it for ourselves as well. The acid test is what we do when it does not work out for one partner or the other? Can we talk about it honestly? Can we laugh about it at times? IMHO if we or our partner get upset and blame the other, then the relationship is in trouble. If that goes on very long, the relationship is dead.
In my understanding, neither men nor woman have complete control over the sexual actions and reactions of their bodies. We need to understand and accept that, and do the best we can to make sure both are pleased and satisfied. We should have fun while we are learning how to both please and enjoy our partners. To me, that is as it should be and that is perfect. | |
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