| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:33:35 AM | Wow, Bucsgirl... how nice of you.
I dare you - ask a question that no one has ever asked before. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:35:37 AM | "I dare you - ask a question that no one has ever asked before."
I have......after I've done a thread search. It's possible, doable....not my rules, it's the sites' but we all agree to abide by them. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:37:14 AM | I did a thread search, ok? I didn't see exactly what i was wondering, so I asked.
I guess this was just a mistake. i didn't intend to incite a bunch of hostility amongst the forum police.
Just forget it. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:49:34 AM |
However, what HASN'T been discussed on this forum?
Sometimes I say there's nothing hasn't been discussed, and then someone will post something...that hasn't been discussed.
Most topics are similar, but people find new matters to bring up. (See also: Holding the Penis Thread. lol)
OP, I think the reason most people suggested a profile review...is because you asked in your original post...what you were doing wrong? No one can tell just by your post. So they wanted to look at your profile. By looking at your profile, they were trying to see if there was something specific to it, that perhaps was a red flag...which is what you asked to have pointed out.
If a woman had written your profile and I was looking at it? I see several red flags that would make me decline to converse with her...but that's me. Another guy might not see something wrong. It all depends on the two people involved. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:32:48 AM | ^^^ We don't kill in GirLand... we only smack people...when they do something wrong, that is. 
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:39:21 AM | Using a site like this doesn't make you entitled to have any luck with it.
Hell, the only people who ever write me are either 1) Uneducated hillbillies who have seven kids with five babymommas who want me to come live in their trailer with them and be their "old lady" 2) Older men looking for a young woman to be a broodmare for them since they're freaking out over being 40+ with no children 3) Men my age who never got past the whole yo-yo gangsta thug part of their adolescence and 4) Men who want me to call them and meet them at the Motel 6 for a booty call that night.
You know what? I don't whine about it. If you use a site like this as your primary way of meeting people you're going to get really frustrated really quickly. Most of us have very little luck here. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:53:19 AM | Change your photos...... i wouldn't look at your profile based on that one...... stop pulling faces and smile!!...........
Nicki x
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:40:17 PM |
I guess my major concern is just that i find it overly rude to just completely ignore someone when they have put some time into something like an email or whatever. I'm polite - I kind of expect the same in return.
You find it rude that they don't respond but it doesn't mean they find it rude if they don't respond.
It's ok to have your personal standards. It's ok to hope that the world around us thinks like we do and holds the same values that we do. It's not ok to impose your standards on other people and expect them to behave a certain way just because it's to your benefit.
I'll share something across this "two way street" Personally, I think lots of women on this site are a bunch of blathering idiots. Why? Because many of them dismiss what men have to say and find attractive and impose their views and standards on men then are baffled and pissed off when the few men they want don't want them back. Now staying on this "two way street", there are lots of men on this site who are a bunch of blathering idiots too. Just like the women, they fail to account for WHAT WOMEN WANT and are equally puzzled when women they desire don't respond to them.
How attractive you are and how desirable you are for a mate is in the hands OF THE OTHER GENDER and none of us has any control over that. It's hard thing to accept for many but it's true. Lots of men and women can stand up and scream, "I'm so damn attractive my face hurts!" But if no one asks them out, if no one bothers to date them, if no one shows any attraction to them whatsoever - are they really that attractive?
You, like everyone else here, man or woman, are entitled to want what you want in a date. What you, and everyone else, are not entitled to is whether anyone of the opposite sex is going to give you what you want.
You are entitled to think there is nothing wrong with your profile. Most of the women here seem to disagree, many of them have tried to say so politely. Personally, no offense, I think your profile sucks. It could use a lot of work. Because you think it's great means nothing to you actually getting more dates. Whether most women think it's great does.
When it comes to dating, the first thing people have to try to give up and let go of before they can make progress in getting what they want is to just let go of their need for control. None of us have that control. There's no point in fighting it. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:55:46 PM |
Using a site like this doesn't make you entitled to have any luck with it.
Hell, the only people who ever write me are either 1) Uneducated hillbillies who have seven kids with five babymommas who want me to come live in their trailer with them and be their "old lady" 2) Older men looking for a young woman to be a broodmare for them since they're freaking out over being 40+ with no children 3) Men my age who never got past the whole yo-yo gangsta thug part of their adolescence and 4) Men who want me to call them and meet them at the Motel 6 for a booty call that night.
This absolutely slayed me, it was so right on. Angela, I would have emailed you to tell you you're the coolest, but I'm too old to get past your age restrictions.  | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:12:55 PM | I would start your second paragraph with "I'm a genuine guy" and then put the fourth paragraph as a continuation. If you say to people "I think I'm a good guy", you are saying that there is something wrong with you and that you are either too blind or too ignorant to know what and do something about it.
Also, having only four interests, one of them "horror movies", don't think it will do you any favours... | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:22:20 PM | Well, ok, but does using a different phrase like that change what it means?
And just what is wrong with horror movies? I like them!
And again, my question isn't so much 'what's wrong with my profile' as it is 'what am i not providing to get responses?' if i get an email from someone, i may not even look at the profile.. i just respond to what is written.
yeah, different profiles can be worded different ways.. I don't work in advertising, and I am not trying to make myself seem better than I am. I'm being honest.
Maybe I'm different, maybe I'm an oddball... maybe I ENJOY the things that I say I enjoy on the profile. Should it be assumed that that is ALL there is to me?
Look at the vast majority of womens' profiles on here... they all say mostly the same things. It's not natural to write a selling description about yourself and make it seem realistic... it's difficult!
My profile sucks? My pictures are creepy? Sorry - that's who I am. I'm not a creepy stalker guy, I'm not a rapist or a murderer... I'm just some dude looking, just like everyone else. Take a moment from profile judging and listen to what I actually SAY when I email you - you might realize it. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:39:11 PM | Your thread title asks, "What Am I Doing Wrong?" People gave you your feedback about things they believed you were doing wrong. You then became offended and defensive.
Solution? Don't ask for opinions. It's not good for you. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:20:00 AM | You do have the "Whiney Nice Guy" feel about you from this post, so that is always a possibility in your outgoing messages.
I find nothing wrong with your profile photos, so if I'm your target demo you're doing nothing wrong...Doubtful that I am, though.
It is not possible to be, "sincere and consise, polite and funny," because the concise part is the main problem. If you spend too much time on the message you get burnt out, if you copy paste, we will know, we DO talk to other women on this site at times.
You could design a feedback form. The women who view you and don't respond, the ones who never respond, etc MIGHT respond to a feedback form.
"Dear Mandy69sm, I would much appreciate you returning this form to me if possible. Thank you for your time, have fun fishing.
When you recieved my first contact did you find it:
[] Humorous
[] Decietful
[] Run of the mill
[] dull
[] Pig swill
etc
Upon viewing my profile did you find:
[] the photos to be distasteful
[] the about me section to lengthy
etc"
There is always the chance someone in your demo will respond. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:45:42 PM | Your thread title asks, "What Am I Doing Wrong?" People gave you your feedback about things they believed you were doing wrong. You then became offended and defensive.
Solution? Don't ask for opinions. It's not good for you.
If you notice, i have given my opinion on every suggestion out here... to some I thought were helpful or at least good ideas... but others just seem to have the wrong idea altogether.
Maybe the entire issue stems from my poor choice of original question? What i was hoping to find out was what sort of emails would be responded to or appreciated more... not necessarily "Hey, check me out, what sucks about me?" But it seems that is what people have jumped on.
I'm not at all trying to be defensive or argumentative, but I don't like to be insulted, either. I don't like the suggestion that I'm lacking character or can't read properly because of the wording of my forum post. I have actually never posted here before, so pardon me for not doing it correctly... or, at least, not correctly in your opinion.
To those of you who gave me sincere advice, thanks, I appreciate it.
To those of you who just wanted to throw out some smarmy comment about redundant threads or be sarcastic towards me for no apparent reason... eh. Bite me. | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:33:29 PM | So apparently I have to stick to this thread, because I tried to start another and was not allowed to.
SO - there have been revisions and edits done on yours truly.
I would appreciate any feedback anyone would like to give... with the exception of some of the ruder, cattier types that were at the beginning of this thread.
Thanks! | |
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| What Am I Doing Wrong???
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:52:33 PM | Gooday,
I found the profile okay and the first date part spot on and by the sound of it i am sure you send good messages to women other than the bore of 'ow r u!!' etc... So in that sense gratz....
My only flaw is with your pictures, the last one is okay and will look good for your main for now. The first pic needs to be striking though i would erase the rest (emo pic optional) and do some better smiley ones.
The emo comment could be seen as funny though for me persoanlly saying Goth is probably just as funny and more tame since the emo thang is more based on suicide and depression than Goths, as far as i know without boring myself with the research and it is just an opinion.
GL  | |
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