| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:56:09 PM | Well, butterfly, I DON'T have to ask, because I'm not involved. And that's the only practical question here. Sure, making any partnership, including marriage, means knowing your partner's expectations and respecting them. But, the question remains unanswered here: If it isn't your partner and you are not involved, does it make any difference what you prefer?
Fortunately, most posters here recognize this is a question of personal preference, and not some hard and fast definition. Look back, and you'll see most qualifying their outrage as what they object to, and not suggesting that everyone should agree.
After all, consider a couple who get off together by taking less-than-sex sidetrips like this and talking about them. Does it matter in the slightest what you think? Of course not. None of your business.
Most simply, you and everyone are free to do whatever pleases you. That includes making a contract, like marriage, with somebody. But that contract doesn't have to come out of some standard form. You can agree to anything together. You don't need anyone's approval.
Honestly! If you get to judge what these people do - whom you don't even know! - then I get to judge what you do, too. Don't I? If your judgment matters to these strangers, if they have to respect it, then you have to respect mine, too. Don't you?
Alright then! That corncob doesn't belong there!
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:32:56 PM |
the question remains unanswered here: If it isn't your partner and you are not involved, does it make any difference what you prefer?
...most posters here recognize this is a question of personal preference...
Does it matter in the slightest what you think?
It does make a difference as to what I prefer. 'Cause then one can kick to the curb, give them a an ultimatum or insist on that janitorial position. Not to mention the other gazillion actions one could prefer to take.
My personal preference is not to partake in this kind of behaviour, and be judgemental of whoever does or condones it. Although, I can accept them as friends but no where near the status of SO.
These POF Forums are, IMHO, about people sharing their ideas, circumstances, dilemmas and last but not least, approval of others. In this sharing, we may just find another who is similar enough to work together late in the evening... washing desks, chairs and keyboards.
For good cleaning/disinfectant agents.
Call Ur.
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:59:32 PM | | First off I would like to say thanks. This thread gave me a good laugh. Quite entertaining reading everybody's view on the subject. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:09:09 PM | I heard/read it somewhere.
It is cheating if you are doing something and feel that you shouldn't be doing it.
I am almost totally behind that as a definition, however I have known a few people (e.g. Bill Clinton) that didn't feel that they were doin' anything wrong. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:12:00 AM | My last love, as a young actor in NYC, was walking down the street in the theatre district, just after rehearsal. A fine looking lady, clearly a practitioner of the world's old profession approached him, he waved her off. Nevertheless, she told him, that this was her afternoon off, and she wished to gift him with herself. Shaking his head in disbelief, he followed her to her apartment, where she did indeed pleasure him immensely. She was so fine, he did in fact offer to give her a little something. She refused, he kissed her and left. When he arrived home, he told his girlfriend, still shaking his head with the wonder of it. She left him.
I can't swear to it, but I don't think I would have.
FWIW I would, personally, consider the opening scenario cheating. . . . | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:54:20 AM |
wasn't that a plot in an episode of "moonlighting"
Nope. Sounds like an old story in Penthouse Forum. Kudos on the copy 'n paste job.
If this is cheating, the cheaters got cheated. They got a hand job from someone they've known longer and better than their
respective SOs, but with no cuddle, no cigarette, no sandwich, even. I think I left my girlfriend because that pretty much describes
our last chapter of do-it-yourself (and let me sleep) intimacy. Ouch.
The OP isn't asking what this will lead to--anyone can imagine tawdry trysts blossoming from this prurient posturing. It's a
tree-falls-in-the-forest zen puzzle, with an answer that depends on your point of view. Animals would not even consider this
a productive enterprise (and most species don't have a concept of cheating, since multiple partners is the norm for all but a few). Only
bored humans could come up with this (likely fictional) titillating scenario. It's a tailor-made wet dream for the lust-in-their-heart
married set (think Jimmy Carter) that wouldn't do the horizontal Mambo with anyone but their spouse.
Couldn't they have just played Dirty Scrabble? | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:42:41 AM | | People MUST be honest with their partner. Whether they consider masterbating in front of another person cheating or not, it's a sexual act, and they should never keep it a secret from their spouse. They must talk to their spouse about it. The fact that they have longings for another tells me there are serious problems with both their relationships. If they are as committed to their relationships as they say, they need to break out of their comfort zone and discuss some of the issues that are keeping them from feeling the level of intimacy they desire with their partner. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:10:53 AM |
She gets her jillies off and he pops his cork.
Unless “jillies” are a brand of shoes that she’s slipping off after a long day and he’s popping a cork off a champagne bottle to celebrate closing a sale, I would say, without a doubt, they cheated. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:44:21 PM | | If my SO did something like that I would consider it cheating. It is an initmate moment with someone other than your SO. Being initmate doesn't have to involve physical contact. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:55:26 PM | | Being intimate doesn't have to be sexual at all. That is typically when the problems begin - at an emotional level not physical! | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:00:50 PM | | They shared a very sexual intimate moment that would horrorify their spouse it they knew exactly what transpired. ..maybe violating something scared like the true elements of trust , especially if held in secret from their loving spouse. Yah! I think we know that it is cheating..there is more then one way to cheat...such as cheat the heart, cheat the mind, cheating others out of truth they should know by consealment, ..it isn't always about voilating the body through phyical contact....Let's face it..if the other spouses knew, they would go through the same mental process as if they caught their partner in the sack with someone else. This voilates someones sense of security in a relationship..cheats them out of what they rightfully should have and maintain. Cheating don't mean touching..It means so much more, on so many levels. Word! | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:32:24 PM | | YES ITS CHEATING!!! People have said if they could'nt tell their partner then its cheating, if they are in open relationshps, swingers whatever, its cheating! Something you do and don't confess is cheating because we all know what the next step is, "and one thing lead to another"! As humans we get attractions and when we are married we are tempted but at the end of the day when we rein in our darkest desires and come home to our spouses thats where a healthy sex life is necessary. Like an old man told me if the man or woman is getting a "smorgasborg" at home they are less inclined to try the take out menu else where. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:37:55 PM | Anything that you could not go home and say to your partner that you done that day is cheating. End of.
Could you imagine her going home and saying I just jacked off to a man in the office who was doing the same, what would you like to eat tonight hunni nope think the respective partners would not have been very happy. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:48:46 PM | Generally I say, "If you have to ask, it's cheating."
In my view lusting after people you know is cheating. This is mutual gratification even if they didn't acknowledge it or touch each other.
Would you tell your partner about this happening? Probably not. I feel like the fact that it is something that you would never talk about makes it questionable. I would consider it cheating if someone I was dating engaged in this.... | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:55:55 PM | Hmmmm........ It's in the eye of the beholder.
Isn't this similar to picturing someone else while your having sex???? The only difference was, they were looking at eachother instead of closing their eyes or viewing a computer screen.
How many MARRIED men or women go to their computers and do the deed while viewing a person naked or/are chatting with someone who is????
I have come across a few!!!  | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:11:35 PM | I consider these 3 ideas when I wonder if it's cheating Is it something that you would do with your spouse and are now doing it with another who isn't your spouse? Yes, in this case.
If you can go home at the end of the day can you be totally open and honest about all of your daily events...with anyone....and no one is upset? Doubtful here. It's really not something that they would bring up at the dinner table, so it's definitely a no no.
Would it hurt the other person? Again, yes. The beginning of the story has us believing that both parties are extremely attached to their respective partners thereby leading us to believe that co-workers and spouses are equally happy and content in their relationships.
This is an easy one. They cheated. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:14:50 PM | | If they think their spouses would be upset over this...and I do think they would be....then yes, this is a form of cheating. There dosen't have to be actual physical touching for it to be cheating. You can bet this would be something they wouldn't tell their spouses about. | |
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