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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:34:41 PM | | Ah..Ya, thats cheating... Ever hear of mutual masterbation, thats what I would call that and it belongs between you and your spouse! | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/27/2008 11:46:13 PM | First of all why does this sound like a THERE'S THIS FRIEND OF MINE STORY???
Second, were you on overtime???
YES! THAT IS CHEATING. DAMN! | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 1:00:25 AM | | I don't consider this situation as cheating, but I do believe that both losers should get a life. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:58:17 AM | | Cheating isn't about the physical acts involved, it's about the betrayal of trust. In the situation described, there's a betrayal of trust despite the fact that no physical contact was made. So yes, it's cheating. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:26:12 AM | Yes it's considered cheating.... they both acted out on there feelings for each other
by doing that lude act and the intent was there sexually and so they did the next
best thing a fastasy of each other.
In the back of their mind of what can be cause
they did not want to hurt there spouses but in all reality they both did cheat.
To think this happened after work hours in a place of business really shows they got
no respect or morals.
Yes it's a grey area in every sense of the word it's still cheating
I don't care how you look at it they acted out there attraction and feelings for each
other by self pleasure and the fantasy of what it could be like together.
They had already had the chemisty and the physical attraction and they were drawn
by that and as the plot thickens again they acted out upon fantasy and feelings thinking
no one would get hurt.
I'm sure if both went home and told there spouses they'd be
hell flying everywhere and maybe even divorce court.
It's cheating and what I'd call
office sex without the physical touching instead they both got off sexually and as
both looked upon each other and lived out for one night of what it could be like
having each other .
They both were adults and acted out there fantasy on there own
bodies and the sick thing is they should have been working not doing a lude act in the
work place I'm sorry as a boss that would not set too well with me.
I guess to them it was not cheating cause they acted on them selves and did not care
or think about there spouses only there own sexual fantasy and I'm sorry the intent
to cheat was there or they'd never done this act in the first place, YES it's cheating !
Thank You...Dave the Author for sharing this , I hope Dr Phil steps in and chews them
a new one teaches them the value of office manners and respect.
These two had no morals and I wonder how they feel about each other now?
I thought this was something done in private but in the work place ,
man that took some guts and some balls.
Neither one had any good sense at all.
Personaly I don't think sex with a co worker is right it 's tabo ,
if they had any sense at all. Neither acted like professional people.
Or they'd not done this if they had any respect ,
for each other and there spouses that they loved at home ~Brenny | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:36:25 AM | | YES, anything one would not do infront of the partner, should not do when she or he is not around. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:50:31 AM | Same answer is internet porn cheating. The up close and personal has a huge chance of going farther. Hope there are no hidden cameras. I know people in the office of many buildings that have porn show galore. Many do no realize hidden cameras in hallways, entrances to doors and in elevators. All be ware.
Cheating maybe not. Still not good, and the visison is certainly there. Thye are fooling no one. It is always eaiser the second and third time and then what? | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:55:51 AM | It is cheating when:
- your partner has not consented to you doing whatever you're doing,
- you wouldn't want your partner to do the same with a person of their choice,
- you keep activity secret from your partner.
To me, the OP scenario IS cheating. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:56:46 AM | if you have to ask....
i figure if you can't go home to your partner and tell them if thy ask, you have a problem.
not that we can't have private lives inside a relationship, but this seems to speak to an emotional attachment that would trangress the boundaries of each of their other intimate relationships.
hard spot, that one.
a | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:00:56 AM | | I would consider that ignorant outside a fantasy. Cheating to me implies intent as well as actions, so yes, that would be a cheating dealbreaker. I have a very low tolerance for people who do crap like that at work anyway, must less two married people and just what kind of twisting does one have to do in their mind to consider that respectful to their spouses? On the other hand, if the spouses know and are allowed the same privileges, then it wouldn't be cheating. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:37:38 AM | | alot of people are calling it cheating. they have to ask themselves this "if your at home and masturbate byy yourself is it cheating? what about if you masturbate while watching some porn that you both have watched together? the way I see it if there is no physical touching, or fluid exchange. that also includes shooting your load from across the office onto her. and since there was neither of the above, its not cheating. but this is one hell of a story. this a story that you brag to you friends whether they be male or female. cot damn! that was a hot story. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:55:23 AM |
If it's something you would do in front of your spouse, it isn't cheating. If you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse, it is most certainly cheating.
Phil and I agree on little. We are a bit closer on this than we are apart and we are still apart. I would say if you wouldn't tell them about the event and/or feel ashamed, clearly a boundary has been crossed.
Cheating, on the other hand occurs anytime the negotiated relational agreement is breached. It doesn't have to involve sexual interaction. Cheating can be as simple as withholding intimacy after both have agree to love, honor, and cherish as the boilerplate vows go. Cheating occurs when one partner takes off when times are bad and only staying when times are good. Cheating occurs when one partner doesn't support the other in times when the relationship is worse rather than better.
At its root, cheating occurs each and every time one or both partners violate their marital or relational contract without the other's consent. It is not confined to sexual behavior.
Regards,
ACP | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:06:27 AM | Personally, I don't think cheating is defined by whether or not two people allow it to occur or not. It's like saying "I lie, and you lie, so therefore lying's okay, so long as we both do it and we both condone it. "
Cheating is wrong, regardless. And if you're married or in a committed relationship, and you screw around with someone else, you're cheating...even if your partner condones it, encourages it and participates in it, it simply means you're both cheaters. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:14:40 AM | I don't know what would Bill Clinton say, but I'd say it's obvious cheating, plain and simple.
The non-contact sex isn't the issue. It's that "an inappropriate relationship" has been established.
I know any number of happily married people who discovered very sad stories in their spouses' cell phone records. The explanation is always the same. "I know 125 calls a month may seem like a lot, but we work together. We're co-workers . . . and friends . . . maybe close friends . . . but that's all."
Usually it's not, of course. Even so, a "friendship" that overtakes a marriage is a betrayal. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:18:38 AM | | Well it is in a way! They should not be doing that. It is disrespectful to their spouses. Even though they are not touching each other they are touching themselves for the other and thinking about them and that is what is getting them off, the thought of the other. You can bet their spouse would think so. | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:20:33 AM | First let me start by saying that this sounds like an illusion created in the mind of the **OP**
JMHO
But, since many others are responding, then I shall humor him as well.
HELL YEAH it's cheating..
Listen to the most righteous post here...
Well, I am going with, yea, because if my husband did that and I found out he'd no longer be my husband. You just don't "get off" for another person when you're married.
Amen sister!! Just fantasizing about another, when being sexually oriented or "intimate" is cheating, for the heart is NOT with the true mate.
Open relationships are sickening, and heartless, and taboo in my opinion. Pleasuring yourself to a magazine, or live person from across the room, or while on the telly, WHATEVER!! One should not have a mate, if one can not BE one!!  
Sheesh!!
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:22:36 AM | Without a spoken word, when the mind went to those unspoken thoughts and actions followed........the focus was taken from when it should have been........with the spouse(s).........
he cheated.........she cheated and let me conjugate........they cheated.
Cheating starts in the mind and the body follows.
Lusting in the heart and mind, automatically pushes the spouse over to second, leaving the spouse out of focus.
....true love is true in mind, body and spirit.
And devoted to the love of their life.
It's about loyalty, integrity and character...betrayal.
Just as sharing intimate feelings/thoughts, with someone other than your s.o., is cheating.
She/he's been cheated out of knowing those intimate thoughts.
Cheated their employer also.....
My opinion only.......people can use all kinds of extra effort and energy to justify anything.
Energy and effort that could have been spent on the s.o. and their relationship.
That's right up there with; "I did not have sex with that woman"!
That like trying to convince me....bull shi$ is apple butter. ...then trying to feed it to me with a long handled spoon. 
ceeceekitty | |
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| Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:27:25 AM | Yes it's considered cheating.... they both acted out on there feelings for each other
by doing that lude act and the intent was there sexually and so they did the next
best thing a fastasy of each other.
Please, I know it's petty and at the same time, it's more than annoying. The term is "Lewd" and is loosely defined. "Lude" is a mind altering drug. Geesh, now I feel better.
To think this happened after work hours in a place of business really shows they got
no respect or morals.
Actually, the location is irrelevant and your statement is an inaccurate generalization. A more accurate way of stating this is that they do not have your personal respect and your personal morals. They likely have morals, they simply do not align with your own.
I'm sure if both went home and told there spouses they'd be
hell flying everywhere and maybe even divorce court.
Of course. This is the common attitude. What is lost is how this occurred. Behaviors do not simply occur ex nihlo. When these things occur, the reasons that are easily traced back to unresolved issues within the core relationship. The typical response in today's society is to quickly end the relationship, divide the property, figure out financial and sometimes putative settlements, and destroy the lives of any children involved, rather than looking at how this occurred and how BOTH partners contributed to the event. That, however, requires personal ownership of one's actions and behaviors, which most people refuse to recognize. They simply wish to blame the overt offender and refuse to acknowledge their own covert activities that contribute to the situation.
Neither acted like professional people.
Or they'd not done this if they had any respect ,
for each other and there spouses that they loved at home
Perhaps, and then perhaps they did this because their spouses had no respect for them.
Regards,
ACP | |
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