| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:41:05 PM | We've eaten inedible food at the homes of friends or relatives,and pretend it was delicious we've told our girlfriends that their new hairstyle looks "nice" when in fact it DOESN'T
To me that is lying so i don't do that. I am socially inept but true to my upbringing. I will leave food untouched if it doesn't taste right to me and if asked simply say i don't like the taste or i can't handle the texture. whatever the reason is i don't like it is what my answer is. This is why i take very small portions of things i haven't had before.
I've told people they look good enough to eat and also told them they looked like something the cat dragged in. Not at the same time. People look different in different circumstances.
So i know the problem but am not going to change it. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:50:06 PM | FBfan1027
Hey, I am also sorry you feel so confused, but you know look at it from a different view.
You had a good time, you said you had a lovely dinner a couple of dates, great sex! why can't you just leave it at that and don't make it sound like you were doing him a favor when you said "I obliged " , can't you just take it as f*cking not as making love. AND don't make it sound like he owes you something now that you "obliged" you had all the choices in the world. You did say it was "AMAZING". Hold your head up high and say: Boy what an experience, what did I learn from this.
Just think of it that you really don't know him long enough to get too cut up about it.
Best of luck, you are a gorgeous girl, have fun, don't take things too seriously until you get to know someone a lot longer than that. Get on with your life, and put a SMILE back on your face: | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:05:06 PM | I wouldn't focus on anything you did in regard to what happened in this situation.
In my opinion the guy in this sitch' didn't have a handle on what he wanted and you just ended up suffering as a result.
Don't sweat it, move on. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:18:02 PM | Well I have learned that on a site like this you need to be pretty thick skinned. Not to say be totally wary and not give a guy a chance but just be a bit more careful with your heart. Online dating is a process and thats it.
You should get a book called, "He's just not that into you". It's by a guy who wrote for, "Sex and the City". I am the same age as you and although this was written by a guy in his early thirties, much applies.
Obviously, he didn't know he was passing up a good thing. But more importantly, it's a good thing you found it out after a few dates rather than wasting more time on him.
So go to the guy tree and get another one!!
Good luck sistah! | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:26:42 PM | To quote Sex and the city and Greg Berendht He's just not that into you. He was just making b.s. excuses. When you really wanna see somebody you make time for them. Sure you can't expect people to be at your beck and call but at the same time kicking it once or twice a week or simply returning a phone call at some point during the day shouldn't be that much to ask. So I say keep it movin and maybe you'll find somebody better. K.I.P. Keep It Pimpin' | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:35:15 PM |
I met this guy on here awhile back and was just curious if anyone could answer this for me or if i was just being naive about the whole situation...
Sounds like you were being naive. Understandable, since you're still a young'un.
* I figure if you like someone well enough you will make time for them!!!!*
BINGO! Remember this hon...it applies to both sexes.
If you step back and consider this Man's situation...in general...he has a LOT on his plate and is too fresh out of a relationship (with 3 kids on top of it) to BE more to you. Maybe he realized this and ran...instead of, at the very least, being up front.
My suggestion would be to take the experience 'as is' and learn from it. Don't beat yourself up over having had sex with him either. You both made that decision. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:42:43 PM | Some people here are far too moralistic about you having sex... its normal behaviour and we're only human.
He was confused and giving you mixed messages. If someone confuses you its a bad thing.
Might be worth reading up on the warning signs early on in a relationship (red flags). | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:43:14 PM |
'He's just not that into you'
My last girliefriend read that...OMG It caused chaos...vertually everything I did was being judged....If I didn't text, or "i fancy a night on my own"....crazy That book is tripe I tells ya!... Makes a girl paranoid to the 9th degree.
recently had this happen where my GF was making assumptions about what I was thinking. It caused arguments and led to our break up. A damn stupid way to break up. She probably read that dumb, paranoid-inducing BS mentioned above.
OT: Op.. I guess you have to concede that he told you he wasn't ready for anything serious... although he certainly was giving you mixed signals about that. Eventually you will get the hang of this on-line crappolla and learn to take one day at a time ~ with any type of relating you happen to do with everybody you relate to. (hope that made sense *scratches head* ) | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:56:25 PM | " I wouldn't focus on anything you did in regard to what happened in this situation.
In my opinion the guy in this sitch' didn't have a handle on what he wanted and you just ended up suffering as a result.
Don't sweat it, move on."
This guy has hit the nail on the head. I totally agree you did nothing wrong. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:01:39 PM | | Let him go and take it as a lesson learned. It's never a good idea to get involved with someone with that kind of recent baggage. I've made that mistake myself, lots of us have. Oh and for the people who say "he got in your pants then walked on....thats HIS bad not yours " - don't believe them! It might sound harsh but sleeping with him too soon was your fault, not his. If you don't learn from your own mistakes you're bound to repeat them. You look like a really positive person by your profile so I'm sure you'll have no trouble meeting someone! | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:18:30 PM | What do you think his deal was??
He is still banging his ex- even though it was good with you he still
needs to bang the Hag.
He does not know what he wants- I suggest you ignore his ass and find someone
who wants to spend the night when you ask and doesnt give the bullshit
excuse-"Im falling too fast for you" - thats a crap excuse. When a guy falls fast
he cant do without you- he will get up at the crack of dawn to text you.
Dont beat yourself up over this. Its his loss. He has a taste for Hags - you
want a man who has a taste for caviar. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:31:05 PM | bonniesluv:
1 THING DATE LIKE A MAN HURT THEM BEFORE THEY HURT YOU
PretaPorter:
Ooooo - yikes. I would ignore that comment.
Definitely agree here! Shining example of what NOT to do.
To the OP: Please, don't take advice from the bitter. It only serves to cloud your own sense of right and wrong. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:54:29 PM | kUNG fU MASTER OF love?
Yep that 35 year old, Martial Arts master OF LOVE ,he wanted a THROW DOWN ,"friendly contest". and you obliged him one. he went from a BLUE BELT master to a HIGH RED BELT when he was with you. He was practicing and perfecting himself in Golden Tae Kwon .
OK
From master OF LOVE to chickenchit in .4 seconds., here is how,take a stance and put that punkazz in his place, before you cuddle .
The night he was texting with the x he left your place and met up with her and here is what he said to his x ,BUT BABY, you know I love leglocks... They give me a tingly feeling. Every time I pull one off, I audibly say 'Sweetazz' n finish it.I was practicing my ART OF Bullshido.
He SAID ,I wanted a THROW DOWN and that NO BELT wanted one to. He says but honey , any white(garter) belt with any functioning brain cells, will pull her pants up when the master player takes the deep stance OF LOVE and WANTING TO MAKE LOVE within two weeks of knowing him. So, she is just a gullible , no belt ,a Bimbo , she was practicing her submission grappling techniques and it was BJJ and I was just helping her to improve her skill level , it was a "friendly contest" is all and nobody got hurt .
But baby It is wushu I love and not her .
Kung Fu...eeeeeeeeee
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:13:12 PM | | Jeez does anyone not know why men do anything?Why women do anything? We all do things for different reasons...the big thing was that the ex was still in the picture..he couldn't commit probably it was a fresh cut in him, just started to heal and couldn't heal yet...he wanted to move on, really liked you from what it sounded like, but has a ton on his plate...he probably was to usy with his boys, veru hard to go through break ups and have kids too...I can only relate to the breakup part, becasue it has taken me along time to let go in a healthy manner...and move on, very hard to do ...evryone is differentand reacts to these things differently, you might never have an answer, but move on, no matter how hard it is...to much on his plate for you to handle, if I were in his situation, I wouldn't want to put my burdens on someone else, no matter how much I loved them...especially at the beginning of something new...sounds like bad timing... | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:25:10 PM | Some red flags:
1. Never meet a guy for the first time, at his home. Just not smart. The fact that he'd have you over, a complete stranger - with his child there; not the sharpest knife in the drawer (him).
2. You both texted religiously. Whatever happened to talking by phone? Or in person? If your major form of communication is texting, not a good thing.
3. You were far too accommodating and eager. You would drive 45 minutes to his work, just to be able to see him for 20 minutes............not good. Makes you look like a pushover and men lose respect for women like this. Why was it you always running to see him and not him reciprocating?
4. He tells you off the bat that he isn't ready for anything serious yet 2 weeks after meeting, he asks if can "make love" to you? LOL Puhlease. That's nothing but smooth-talking BS....carefully chosen words to make you melt and increase the chances he'd get laid. It worked.
5. Not even a month into things he tells you he feels like he's falling in love with you. BIG RED FLAG. You 2 didn't even KNOW each other well enough to have fallen in love.
6. Him sitting there at your home, texting back and forth with his ex.............having the lack of class to SHOW YOU his ex's texts in which she's wanting him to come over. OMG, what a tool! How you didn't tell him to F off and get out, I have no idea. That's the height of immaturity and disrespect. And oh - how convenient.............suddenly that night he couldn't stay over because he wanted to take things slow.............or, did he want to run over to his ex's house??????????????
Have no further contact with him. Do not phone, do not text, do not email, do not write to him through here. He's made it clear where his head (and**** is at. He was clearly not over his ex. You deserve better. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:23:16 PM | ChiChi Damour Says,
He was confused and giving you mixed messages.
There was no mixed messages here. He was not sending mixed messages about his X. His message was clear. His message was, I am talking to my X right here in front of you because your just a piece of ass that i don't take serious anyway. Wake up ladies, This ain't rocket science.  | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:21:26 PM |
bonniesluv said
I LEARNED 1 THING DATE LIKE A MAN HURT THEM BEFORE THEY HURT YOU
Umm no, if you end up being a vindictive person over what some other man did to you will only suffer more of a loss than you already have. Seems to me it's best to take what good you can out of a situation and move on intact.
Good Luck to you! | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:34:44 PM | As to 'intact':
be sure to get yourself tested for every STD under the sun. Some men sleep turn slutty after having a vasectomy, and think they don't need testing or condoms, so they become Typhoid Nellies: often no symptoms, but pass around everything from chlamydia to herpes and venereal warts and worse.
Be safer next time, and get him tested. And if he won't pee in a cup and do a blood test for you, he cares more about his next orgasm than you. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:06:34 PM | What a loser! Is it any wonder why his past relationship did'nt last. What a real shit. He woo's you then he abused you by taking advantage of your obviously trusting nature.
The line he used on you, " could I make love to you or is it too soon?" In other words, please feel sorry for me, I want to shag you. Honey, move on. This guy will hurt you. Sometimes we tend to let our guard down, and the thing that happened here was that this man brought baggage with him and he used it to get what he wanted.
There are decent men around that will treat a woman such as yourself with the utmost respect and in fact, all women need to be treated with respect and not exploited.
I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear but I stand by what I say.
You deserve the best, don't take anything less.
Peace be with you always and you have a super day.
Cheers for now. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:20:40 PM | Hey OP,
Don't beat yourself up.. This is how I see it.. I know we hear all the time.. "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free".. thing of it is this.. if this guy was really into you because of who you are he would have hung around.
Yes you are amazing.. yes you are a wonderful woman.. he just wasn't wanting the same thing as you want.
I honestly believe that guys get into a woman pretty fast then they back pedal.
Yes it is wise to not go to bed with them quickly.. or get physical with them quickly.. but bottom line is this.. I know of too many couples who have wonderful relationships who slept together quickly.. that is not the issue here.. the issue is that he probably doesn't want anything else other than the quick touchy.. feely.. feel good experience.. then he is off again to the next one or back to something familar.
That is it.. the guy is into experiences rather than relationships... not your fault.. it is where he is at. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:50:42 PM | | most of us are very much grown adults, who are no longer virgins. we sense the need to become closer by bonding sexually. to most of us it is " Making Love " to others it is a score.. a notch in the belt. there is no understanding ... this has been in effect since high school. they build us up, gain our confidence, our trust and heart strings, and the sentimental fools that we are think with our hearts and emotions and give to them. the same applies to those break ups, we are still governed by our emotions yet men seem to have just walked awy from the relationship without a thought much less an emotion. do not beat yourself up about it, we all must learn from experiences in life. and for keeping your knees together... well that little miss should look within herself before blurting out such BS. her name and photo do not scream come and get me.......please ! i am a very open person and had a wonderful loving marriage for 15 years, the wonderful sexual adventures we had were awesome and we were very loving, now a widow i find that men are very much afraid of me,because i know what i want and not afraid to say so. but i feel for you because i want longterm loving relationship and they think i am just some over sexed nympho. it is difficult to tell you any advice, except it is his loss, he will wind up alone in life, or being led around by his so called EX. you my dear are beautiful and have heart you will find a loving caring relationship...just dont want it too much..........love will find you. have a great day. | |
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| A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :)
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:58:35 PM | | sorry to say this but i think he just used you and wanted to get laid. it's happened to me too. next time be more careful and take things more slowly. i've done the text messaging thing too and i noticed after i had met him, my bf became a bit distant and seemed to be taking me for granted and this was only after our first date!! told my guy friend about it and he said lots of times people change after you meet them and become complacent. also wondering now if maybe he got back with his ex?? sounds like something funny was going on there with all the text messaging back and forth. frankly i would have said something to him about it, seemed extremely rude of him to do that in your presence. | |
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