| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:57:47 PM | sex isn't everything but it sure does have some part of the relationship....i think it's somewhere between sack (bed) and suck (oral) since that's what a lot of people consider to be really important.
i'm sorry, to me, there has to be that love, trust, and respect before sex comes into play and even at that i don't just want to be f*cked i want to be made love to. | |
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P.P.
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Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 52 | |
| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:59:37 PM | Sex isn't everything, but how could you have a great relationship with out it?? I personally want it all friend, "LOVER", life partner.  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:49:15 PM | To have a great relationship takes other things being good besides the sex.
But if there's problems in the sex area, it will cause a strain on the relationship | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:06:01 PM | | I agree, sex isn't everything... only plays a part in a relationship.. if your friends think sex is so important, then seems only kind of relationship they want is a sexual one. They don't know what a real relationship is. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:46:50 PM | | A nice girl shouldn't have to put out to keep her man around, but you'll notice the guy will treat her like rat diarrhea immediately. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:58:36 PM | Naturally lots of sex is part of a new relationship. I have noticed though, most people are intoxicated by the chemistry of sex but not so thrilled about the responsibility of a relationship after the chemicals are gone (around six months to a year or two).
Always ask yourself, if we didnt have sex would we want to be with each other. Would we be willing to tolerate each other differences?
I have learned when someone says "we have chemistry" it usually means we will be good in bed. So hold off on the "chemistry" until you spend time together to see if you have good
"emotional compatibility" first.  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:40:15 PM | "Everything in a relationship?" I don't know what that means. It's not the only important thing in a sexual relationship but in an exclusive sexual relationship it's high priority.
Great sex will not a relationship make, but the wrong sexual match-up could unravel an otherwise great relationship, for sure. Unless both partners just aren't very sexual people. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:18:51 PM |
No, it isn't everything. There's fishing and cooking contests, also
a man after my own heart...
The sex is only good for me if I have an emotional/mental connection also. If that connection isn't there or goes away, I just am simply not interested - no matter how technically good it is. And chances are good I won't make biscuits and gravy and chicken fried steak for you anymore either... | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:56:31 PM | | It isn't everything - but oh yeah - it's a huge part. I love it (with him). Now, if we were married, and a yr or so down the road something happened to where we could not physically have sex anymore, then yes - I would miss it - and would take care of it myself - so - the sex is kinda still there - but no, I would not leave because of it. It's a huge part - but it ISN'T everything. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:03:28 PM | | No it's not. But if the couple are not sexually compatible then it's a problem. Feelings and emotions are expressed but it's possible the expression of physical love just doesn't work, they don't fit well for whatever reason. Knowing this is important and finding all around compatability is key. If there 's only good sex, but no intellectual connection, interests, shared values, no laughter or enjoying company outside the bedroom, what do you have? | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:05:16 PM | | your friends are wrong. sex is NOT everyting. if sex is everything they why bother having a one on one relationshiop with anyone ever? | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 7:33:42 PM | Well.... No it's not.... and yes it is.
We humans are a funny lot. The most important thing in a relationship changes as our needs are met. Ever hear of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs)
If you have problems (needs), sex is not so important, but if you have none, it can be the only problem.
Take two people. 1 has financial problem but getting sex, the other has no sex but doesn't have financial problems. Both problems are just as big. Just as important to both people. But I think no sex is in deeper trouble.
I don't want to be that content. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:04:40 PM | Sex is one important component. If it isnt there in the relationship, or youre on two different pages, it will put strain on other pieces of the puzzle.
But its certainly not everything. My last girlfriend was a prime example of it. When we were together, we had a blast! But after a few months I began to realize that, if the sex were removed from the equation, what else would we have? The answer was an ever-increasing "not much", which is why we eventually split.
I think that if you want to put ONE thing as being an absolute "everything" in a relationship, it would be intimacy. Sex is a part of that, but sex alone is NOT intimacy.
Just my 2 cents, anyways. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:40:23 PM | in my opinion everything evolves around sex.. so in a way yes sex is everything..think...
you a person, get to know eachother, become good friends.. everything is perfect no problems...right..then you decide to take things to another level of intamacy..sex of course being the most intimate thing a human can do...is the way it happens..well things go good from there...but when lack of communications happen in the bedroom, they create issues that are undealt with in the concious...just like people not communicating outside the bedroom on a regular basis.. like the comment was made about divorces being about more than just sex... but all the misunderstandings, and miscommunications start from sexual miscommunications..although they dont always come out that way when people fight...
I know some people dont get along right from the start... but for the people who do....what if everything does evolve around sex.....??? | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/28/2008 11:01:45 PM | Sex isn't everything in a realtionship ??? Hmmm Let your S.O have sex with someone else then... Then get back with me an let me know how important sex is..  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 2:04:44 AM | Op, is it possible you're both right when you leave the 'everything' word out of it?
Your middle sentence was
Sure sex is something that's a part of the relationship but I don't think it's everything and my friends think opposite that if you can't please your partner in bed it's over
Using the word 'everything' is extreme, but then you said he meant that if you can't please your partner (and I am taking that as both people pleasing each other), then the relationship won't last and I agree. I think love-making reflects the love in the relationship and, just like a relationship very often that is only sex won't usually last long-term, a relationship without satisfying sex I believe also won't last long-term.
I don't think it's always something that can be improved to the point of being great if the two people are basically not really sexually compatible. And it seems many, if not most, long-term relationships lessen in intensity sexually over time, and I think that is one main reason many relationships break down after so many years (and perhaps a major reason so many cheat). When people say you have to work on your marriage or relationship, I think they are talking about this aspect of it also to keep it alive and fulfilling for both people.
So, I'm surprised how many here have answered it's not that important, because to me if you can't please your partner in bed, or be pleased, then the relationship is missing something really vital and I agree with your friend - no, it's not everything, but I think a relationship missing that, just like missing love, will eventually end (unless of course there is medical condition and that is different, but I'm talking about two healthy and sexually functioning people).  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:03:34 AM | WeAre1, I think of all the posts yours is the one that makes the most sense to me, but I came away after reading all the posts with a little bit of a different view.
You wrote...
Using the word 'everything' is extreme, but then you said he meant that if you can't please your partner (and I am taking that as both people pleasing each other), then the relationship won't last and I agree.
And I agree, the majoriy of the people wrote...
No sex isn't everything, BUT....
In essence both of these statements are the same
It's that BUT that tells me that it actually is the most important thing in a normal heteorosexual relationship but most are not willing to admit it or see it that way. First let me get this out of the way just as you did, non-sexual relationships do happen, but are very rare. Our ability to think and to reason tends to make humans believe that they are something more than an animal, entire religious beliefs were formed on that assumption. However our basic platform for existance is that we are in fact animals and in so being are subject to an hormonally driven sexual drive that insures our continued existance though procreation. This in fact being the essence of our continued existance makes sex the most important factor in a normal heteorosexual child bearing and rearing relationship.
Look at it this way, there are people in this world who are not capable of having sex either though physical problems, illness or mental incapacity. These people need love too. Who amoung you who is normally sexually active is willing to commit a lifetime relationship of love and devotion in a non-sexual relationship just as you would in a marriage or sexual relationship? | |
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