| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:03:40 PM | ^^i read your post and thought, yes, sex is vital, but not more vital than love - to me - if i had to choose.
and yes, sex is absolutely necessary to make children and continue humanity - but for those who do not want children and are taking measures to not get pregnant - and also those women who are past their baby-making days in age - your thoughts do not explain why we still want to have sex so much....other than point blank it's the only reason we join up with others because it's the most important thing. :) so do you agree it's everything?
hmm.....love without sex is possible, and sex without love is possible.....but together seems to be the real goal these days for many....but not essential.
ok, perhaps i'm a bit clearer now too - no, sex is not everything, nor is it absolutely necessary to have a fulfilling and loving relationship - but it's a perk that most of us think and hope will be a wonderful bonus to being in a romantic relationship.....or so i feel anyway.....and like my other post, i think that when it is missing in both quantity and quality, it can indeed result in the relationship ending....just like if love was missing......imo.  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:59:55 PM | I think what I was really trying to do was to restructure the original question because I belief that everyone is actually taking the OP to literally. Kind of like you did when you asked if he should have left the word "everything" out of it.
Do I believe it is everything?
I think that would depend entirely on the given situation. Certainly an 18 year old couple with hormones raging would see it as much more important than, say for example my parents. Their sex life ended about ten years ago after my fathers stroke and are both getting along fine and relishing in thier friendship. They are both in thier 80's.
As for me I am literally undecided and somwhat torn on the subject. On the fence sort of speak. Philosophically it's sort of like the chicken or the egg, which came first? I suppose if your an evolutionist it would be sex, if your a creationist it would be love.
Then you have to start asking yourself things like, "Am I in love or am I in lust?" to really answer that. It kind of sounds like your on the fence, I think I will stay on the fence, it's a safe place to stay for the time being.... | |
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rjc31
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Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 79 | |
| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:02:28 PM | | Bad sex = bad intamacy. Which turns to poor comunication ending in relationship breakdown. Need good sex to keep it alive. Absolutely. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:15:23 PM | no, sex is not everything, nor is it absolutely necessary to have a fulfilling and loving relationship - but it's a perk that most of us think and hope will be a wonderful bonus to being in a romantic relationship....
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Here is exactly why "sex is not everything" in a relationship. Simply "Everything=100%"
so if your relationship consists of 10% cooking, 5% gardening, 25% talking and cuddling, 20% money and home, that leaves 40% for sex. Now Now, I know this isn't a statistical fact, some couples could be 2% cooking, 0%gardening, 10% clubs, 30% arguing and fighting, 8% money, and 50% sex. And lets say each person thinks their sex life is about 90% as good as it could be (like the guy who wants anal but she says "Oh no, that's disgusting", but he loves her so he doesn't mention it). .9x.5= .45 = 45%.
Put in whatever numbers you want, but if sex is everything = 100%, when do you eat together, walk together, talk together, etc????? | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:28:24 AM | | In reality, in the real world of honesty and truth, sex is a very important part of a relationship.....but I agree...it is not everything....communication respect and friendship are just as important.... | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:40:15 AM | Speaking as a lady in her 50's, sex is not as important as it once was.
Hair, teeth and eyes and the ability to drive at night are "everything in a relationship". | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:13:15 AM | | Sex is not everything of course, but it has been the downfall of a lot of relationships, and it can be the cause of cheating in marriage due to not being fulfilled by partner. Some people have higher sex drives than others, if a partner is not as into sex as their mate it can be a problem in the long run. But by no means is sex everything , there is a lot more to a relationship then just the bedroom. Anyone who believes it is really doesn't know much about love and relationships. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:24:52 AM | Sex is the great equalizer between men and women.
There are some things men do better than women and some things women do better than men.
Sex is the only part of life in which men and women meet each other as equals .
Neither men nor women are better at it than the other. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:23:44 PM | It only becomes everything when you're not getting any!
Other than that, I agree with the majority of other posters. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 1:32:50 PM |  To all the men whom were so nice to say to the poster that they do not think it is a great deal in a rs..HOWEVER as a woman i have to disagree... I think sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, from my experience it makes a great rs if you are both into sex and what thrills it can bring, I do not mean by swinging from the roof tops or anything but keeping it different and trying new things makes it all the more exciting, I trully love dressing up for a partner, looking and feeling sexy not only makes them feel great but also myself..so at the end of the day (to me) A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT SEX IS NO RELATIONSHIP AT ALL!!
kisses
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:57:06 PM | This question has to be asked? What happened to common sense and Captain Obvious? Of course sex isn't everything, which side of the bed you get is everything. Duh.  | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:02:26 PM | Sex is a healthy PART of a good relationship-but it's not everything. I do realize that some people have relationships that appear to be solely linked by the act of sex, which depends on the two people involved. I think there are many reasons why relationships do end and sex is just one reason, but it isn't generally the main one.
JMHO | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:54:08 PM | | LOL. Sex is the easy part of the relationship. It's a tool to keep you both feeling bonded and content. Helps to smooth over the difficult parts. But it's not 'the relationship'. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:12:23 PM | It's that BUT that tells me that it actually is the most important thing in a normal heteorosexual relationship but most are not willing to admit it or see it that way
WRONG. Sex is only part of a relationship. most important part???well i guess that depends on if a person knows what a relationshipo is or not. Feelings come before sex. If sex is all that is important to a person than someone is with the wrong person to begin with. the realationship is alreayd dead.
A relationship is
trust, feelings, love, communication, chemistry, compatibility, attraction, and so much more. sex is only a part of it. most all relationships have sex but if thats all people see in a relationship then they dont belong in one. they are wasting both their time and the other person's time as well. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:06:56 PM | A very easy question to answer.
How important is fidelity? How important is it that your partner be faithful? Would it bother you if your partner slept with the neighbor/mail carrier/co-worker?
The answer to those questions will tell you how important sex is to a relationship. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:14:10 PM | Well, I have heard it from many, had great sex, but it did not last. So there ya go.
It's part of the package, but it is only one piece of the puzzle. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:17:21 PM | Well nogo3,
I cannot agree with that one. I heard it said by a friend, that sex is the measurement of how well your relationship is going. If you are getting lot, something must going right. Alternative that is the opposite. What I hear most from people in problem relationships is that they are not getting any. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:50:00 PM | Oh, so those who are marriage for many years, and lets say, do not have ex anymore are just friendships, huh?
Well, as my Mom explains to me, being married for almost 40 years, it is friendship. It is the friendship that keeps it glued. Sex, though nice and enjoyable, will not be enjoyed by all, for one reason or another. So what do you do then? Leave! NO...you are in a committed relationship period. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:35:11 PM | Dear op ,
there is a big differce in sex and making love to differnt concept's.
Let me put it this way sex is used as a quick feeling it could be over a cheating compaion to get back or if a person is very loney or with out feeling meaning no real love to exspress it.
But making love is very differnt it's a feeling that come's from the heart and soul to be in love to feel the other is so much differnt then just plain sex.
But in any case it shouldn't be the main part in a relationship there's more than making love to make it work right .
The guy's you know like to brag i heard it befor from guy's at work alway's comparing who had the most to me it's sick because it shouldn't be all that and i could inmagine that if the women found out it would be hell lol.
But also see my point most guy's think with there other with out realizing what there getting them self's in to in some case's it could lead in to touble or getting the women prego and then what?
But also i known some women who do the same thing with out thinking and when it's all over they regret it because the end up with Herpes or some other kinds of thing's but any how thats how i feel i rather get to know the person first befor anything. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:41:22 PM | | I think you have to be on the same page sexually, or it can most definitely ruin a relationship. If one person loves sex, and the other person doesn't like it, the first person is going to be frustrated from being turned down all the time, and the other person is going to be frustrated because they are being asked all the time. I went through 2 years of this, and a relationship like that CAN'T last unless one of them is willing to just deal with the other, and THAT is going to lead to resentment, which will eventually poison the relationship. | |
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| is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:42:05 PM | It isn't everything by no means, but GREAT sex is indicative of good communication.
And, good communication is the foundation of any good relationship.
(I know, not always. I said "indicative') LOL | |
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