zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 26 | |
| Old bachelors and BACHLORETTES
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:56:54 PM |
There! I'm now a BACHLORETTE!!!
Oh, I love it! Thanks! And being a reality TV show junkie, I can tell you there is another season of "The Bachelorette" coming up...!  | |
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| Old bachelors and BACHLORETTES
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:58:42 PM |
They get ever so much more wily with each passing year.
Note to self: "start practicing wily"
Maybe POF should hold it's own "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" reality shows | |
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| Old bachelors and bachelorettes
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:00:11 PM | Lots of people marry past 60.
I can't imagine getting married after 60, especially in a society where marriage has become as optional as it has in ours. Marriage makes sense when raising children, but for the over 60's? There are so many knotty issues like inheritance, taxation, Social Security, and snoring --that it's just too daunting. Many married couples have to sleep in separate bedrooms to get any rest. They may as well live in separate house and avoid all the paperwork and legal hassles.
Going steady is the answer. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/13/2008 9:39:47 PM | Also 51 here, and never been divorced. Was engaged for a while, and I'm glad it didn't move forward (I'd be divorced or in jail for homicide, one).
Fishie tells me that these circs are a plus. No drama with psycho exes. No dammitalltohell griping griping griping about the goddamn ex, the goddamn divorce, the goddamn child support. And did I mention no custody battles or kid drama?
My church celebrates crone-hood at age 53. Gloria Steinem married for the first time at age 66. Live with no regrets! | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:46:36 PM | | I would love to find a site for being who have not been married. But then maybe I am the only one who feels as if men ignore me without getting to know me whey they find that I have not been married.....helps weed them out though, which is a good thing in the pond. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:55:57 AM | Never being married means never having to say your sorry!
Ok, Let's crank up the "Tijuana Brass" and let the "Dating Game " begin.
Bachelorette #1....If you were a Ice Cream flavor, which one would you be?
Bachelorette#2....If an old foggie chased you around the room and tried to
smooch you, would you run or skip?
Bachelorette#3....If you really liked someone, at any age ,would it matter whether
they were ever married or not?
Maturity and wisdom tends to gives me the confidence not to worry or
rush into a relationship. It's just harder for this old foggie to identify the
crones and spinsters .....er ah... bachelorettes out there. Viva la Difference!
Skunk aka Old Bas...er...bachelor! | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:32:13 AM | I am dealing with an old man now of 50... not that his biological age is old, but mentally he is... he has never been married, no kids. I believe he is losing his mind and have to end the relationship as he is not making sense and a little bit more than acting crazy. Its too bad he has no wife or girlfriend to help him... but he does have a large family thank god. I have to keep him away from myself and the people in my life as he seems to like to start up drama and can't remeber any of it afterwords.
Its sad but I think he lost his mind, not from drugs but old age disease....... something I'd never thought I'd be dealing with concerning friends, but I guess its a reality in life and happens.
If anyone has experienced anything similair with a friend getting this alheimers, please email me.. I'm not sure what steps to take next other than to end the friendship since he is off the deep end saving water in buckets in his house and things like this. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:32:09 AM |
Bachelorette #1....If you were a Ice Cream flavor, which one would you be?
That would be me. Bachelorette # 1 Pralines and Cream.
OP: I have an aunt who had two long term "dating" relationships before she met her husband, who had also never been married before. They were married on her 60th birthday. They were married for 20 years before he passed. Where there's life, there's possibility. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:15:57 AM | Having had three wives now.... and children with each of them (4 total).... I hardly qualify for an Old bachelor. However, I have been single now for over a decade...and it is beginning to feel very much like I have never been married. I suppose the fact that the last marriage was so pathologically dysfunctional (she was very young and an alcoholic) that there was little affection in that union, has something to do with it too.
though, I have trouble comprehending how someone could make it clear to 50 or 60 without ever being married...(because of my own path), I suspect that in the end, it is all just a state of mind and attitude. I also see that a lot of people discount long term live in relationships?? Isn't that really kinda cheatin'?? Hmmmmm? I think true "old spinsters and bachelors" are very light on the over-all intimacey thing. Like... you know.... havn't gotten laid much. ha! that is not a judgemental statement...just a fact. thats all. I think no matter how ya look at it.... I am coming closer to qualifying all the time! sheesh! ha! I still havn't sheet canned the marriage idea however. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:39:19 PM | I'm with Fifi and her comments re a never married person being wise enough to never commit to a marriage that was bound (my addition) to end in divorce.
Why have I reached the age of 53 without ever being married? I've been engaged twice in my life. One of these men turned out to be an abuser, a fact that I discovered firsthand before the wedding day...and the other was a momma's boy, still living at home while in his early 40s. Re the second man, as much as I loved him I had absolutely no desire to have to "compete" for his affection.
Do I regret never having been married? Sure, but especially because I didn't have the chance to have and raise children in a loving, committed relationship.
Am I content to be single? In many ways, very much so. I enjoy my private time and space, and also the way that all decisions in regard to my life situation are made by me - finances, housing, friendships, etc.
My reality is that I still dream of waking up beside my forever love each morning, and I will not do that outside of marriage. | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:44:59 PM |
generally speaking, if someone hasn't committed by age 35, they are NOT gonna!
Might want to tell that to the two I wanted to marry... one cheated on me a month after I asked, and the other one broke up with me 2 months before xmas (when I planned to propose) because "you're never gonna marry me" (I didn't find out that was here "thinking" until years later, at the time she just blew me off and refused to have a real conversation).
Oh, well, in the long run I'm glad I *didn't* marry either! | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:11:26 PM | | you know i really take offense to the term *spinster*. it's almost as bad as *old maid*. very negative terms. how come men who never marry are called *bachelors*?? i think *bachelorette* would be much nicer and kinder for a woman who has never married. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:23:00 AM | Dear pinebreeze, I find myself wanting to take you to task for the first time in the many months I've shared space with you in these forums.
You say,
also see that a lot of people discount long term live in relationships?? Isn't that really kinda cheatin'?? Hmmmmm? I think true "old spinsters and bachelors" are very light on the over-all intimacey thing. Like... you know.... havn't gotten laid much. ha! that is not a judgemental statement...just a fact...
While I can't speak for the other spinsters (I too prefer the term bachelorette) here, I can tell you that not only have I had 2 longterm live in relationships - one of which lasted years longer than some marriages in my circle of friends, but I know that I have had a healthy sex life during my "spinsterhood." I choose to be much, much more selective now in regard to intimate relationships, simply because fwb has not worked for me, especially when there are feelings involved.
Still a fan of yours, just wanted to take a stand re your statement of "fact." | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:19:46 PM | | Mr. Vitamix, what in the world does potential "early onset Alzheimer's" have to do with whether or not someone has been married? I don't see ANY connection! I think the two issues are not at all related..... | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:49:02 PM | *Marketable*
I consider myself _Very_ marketable..!!
...to a Lady that is Equally Marketable...
and open to at least Discuss the requirements of an LTR...!!!
I didn't create *Namats* by grabbing letters out of Mid-air.. | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:32:15 PM |
many of us never marrieds were wise enough not to commit to a marriage when we knew we would end up divorced.
Can you say "self fulfilling prophecy" ? | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:45:50 PM |
Bachelorette #1....If you were a Ice Cream flavor, which one would you be?
...Oh thats easy....without a doubt, I'd be "Strawberry".
Bachelorette#2....If an old foggie chased you around the room and tried to
smooch you, would you run or skip?
.. depending upon who that old foggie was, I just might let him catch me.
...maeflowers | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:57:32 PM | Where the hell did I put my jogging shoes?!  | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:08:05 PM |
Where the hell did I put my jogging shoes?!
...If I lived closer....you would be the one needing them
...maeflowers | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:36:07 PM | I've never been married, and more than likely never will be. I'm not quite a "spinster" in the true sense of the word, because I had one long-term, might-as-well-been-married relationship that lasted 25 years.
But I've just got to comment on the post by the guy who questioned why someone 60-plus would even consider getting married. Although personally it's an extremely unlikely scenario for me because I never did believe in the "institution" of marriage, if by outside chance I ever find myself in another committed relationship, being older MIGHT sway me to make it "legal," in spite of myself.
As a middle-aged person who lost her partner, I experienced a couple of rather traumatic events during those horrible hours. He was dead and gone. But although I knew his thoughts on the issue, I wasn't allowed in that Emergency Room nightmare, to sign off on organ donation. I had to pull myself together, go out to my in-laws' home miles away in the country, break the devastating news, and then ask his oldest brother (by law, the only one allowed to make the decision), to honour his request. Thank goodness the timeframe was do-able, and a blind person got new corneas, and some burn victims got some of his skin. His heart was not viable, but they attempted, without success, alas, to match his kidneys to patients.
Now, five years later, I'm thinking more along the lines of making life-and-death or long-term care decisions for a partner. For him and for me.
It's actually MORE complicated and heart-wrenching at this stage in life than during the mating and procreating stage, given the social acceptance of divorce.
Crap. Another darn thread that's made me sad. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:47:03 AM | | Sel fulfilling prophecy? nope, smart emough to know that marriage to the men who wanted to marry me after dating me a short period of time would never work, since I was not interested in dating them, so breaking it off seemed like the best thing to do....self fulfilling prophecy has nothing to do with not wasting my time or theirs when no interesst was there for me. | |
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| Old bachelor/ettes
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:20:00 AM | It wasn't a "self fulfilling prophecy" in my case either, but rather a safety issue in the one situation, and a "sanity" issue in the other.
I'm not going to marry someone just for the sake of experiencing marital "bliss."
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a person who chooses not to get married. Nor is there anything warped or lacking in a person who has not made the trip up the aisle.
I find it amusing that in many POF threads it seems to be the survivor of multiple divorces who is loudest re singing the praises of marriage. | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:22:26 AM | 54, never married, never will. Yes, had one very long term relationship, yes, I'm spoiled, yes, I'm not normal. I believe that for a successful marriage the partners have to be ready to be ready to sacrifice a lot, and it takes not only courage and intention, but mainly strenght. I haven't got that strength.
However, it goes deeper than that with me. I haven't had many nightmares in my life, but the two absolute worst ones, that made me scream in my sleep and wake up in cold sweat, both had to do with getting married. In the first one my aunt decided I needed to get married, and I knew there was no "out" for me, becauses Auntie had a very strong personality. So I woke up screaming. The second dream I forgot, but I woke up screaming. It wasn't even that the parties would be bad: One was a girl from my youth who, in real life, later became a physician (yeah, dream on, sucker), the other one, like I said, I forgot.
What do you make of this? | |
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| Old bachelors and spinsters
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:42:53 AM | | My therapist sense is tingling. I'm thinking there might be more to you and powerful Auntie than meets the eye. | |
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