| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:19:43 PM |
I'd say it's a lot better then them trying to meet you at your house or theirs on the first few rounds of contact. That pretty much means sex.
That's funny, cos I've met guys at their house or one has come to mine... usually after we've spoken on the phone a few times and it doesn't mean sex. I'm not looking for it and they haven't expected it.
I don't get how people can just say this. Yes, for some people it may mean sex.... but in my experience it hasn't. It has meant a nice comfortable meeting, watching a dvd perhaps, not having to get overly dressed up, just nice and casual companionship. But that is only if I feel comfortable with them on the phone.
One example comes to mind, we chatted for hours on the phone, on a few occasions before meeting and the meeting was spontaneous.. had been on the phone for quite some time when he said "how about we meet up now?". Neither of us felt like going out, so it was decided his place was the best idea... before I arrived at his house, I did let a trusted friend know where I was going, gave her the address and name and let him know that I had done that.
I treat men as friends when on the phone and when meeting... no sexual innuendo, no coyness or 'too' flirtatious behaviour. Perhaps this may have something to do with how they treat me. Maybe I am foolhardy or brave... but I don't see it as a big deal in these circumstances... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:32:26 PM | "If they're asking to meet you in public for coffee , it's a sign they're intereseted.
I'd say it's a lot better then them trying to meet you at your house or theirs on the first few rounds of contact. That pretty much means sex.
With a coffee shop that implies there will be conversation and a chance to get to know each other before the clothes start coming off, you can always decline to go somewhere else with them.
If you like them, go for it. If not, then move on."
I copied and pasted the whole thing, because it makes sense, unless you have something to hide... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:54:00 AM | | hi I really like to just know who I am talking too ,waiting to meet somone is good aswell ,I just find it hard to hold good conversation online, | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:37:33 AM | This is a difficult one as personal safety is always paramount. I think if somebody messages you asking for a meet up before you have even exchanged messages is probably pretty desperate and these people are needy and as you said yourself looking for casual meet ups.
Having said that, should an exchange of messages take place and a mutual attraction be there I think it is important to meet up sooner rather than later as endless messaging, texting and telephone conversations can cause you to think there is more there then there actually is and then meeting can be a very disppointing experience.
Good luck and (not wanting to sound like a mum) use your common sense and always go with you gut instinct xx | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:49:42 PM | | my comments, are the eyes are the window to the soul . yes i'd rather meet and talk over a cup of coffee, and see where things go from there. to each his own thanks . | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:59:48 AM | ROFL....You have hit the nail direcctly on the head! In this information age we live in, giving out a phone number is as dangerous as giving out a social security number, and you might just as well give them your address, because it is linked with the phone number!
I am so glad I ck'ed this forum feature, as I was just about ready to pull my profile, as I am a new user, and I thought well, maybe I am just not suited for this type thing, and thought it was just me!
Tks all, I am writing this with a lighter heart, and feel much better about things.
And as Eddie2704 said, just be careful and dont' be naive! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:28:05 PM | I think its kinda weird, I wouldent ask to meet someone immediately. For me it takes like a month or so,
exchange messages over PoF
the IM each other for a week or two
talk a few times on the phone
THEN meet in person, makes me more comfortable and you know the person somewhat and can talk about their intrests.
but thats just me, im not saying im right, to each their own. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:34:05 PM | I sometimes get women doing the same thing.
They say they prefer to meet face to face rather than spend hours chatting online only to not like someone when they meet them.
I prefer to chat a bit first then meet. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:04:41 PM | I am glad to see this subject brought up. I have had a few who in the first message wanted to meet up straightaway. When I write back and say I need to get to know someone first by e mails on the site, I never hear back.
No way would I give out my personal e mail address or phone number to someone I know practically nothing about. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:52:45 PM | | I think meeting immediately is smart. Find out if you click right away. Don't waste time sending emails for months & months just to find out you're not well suited. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:30:21 PM | | I've had that happen a few times - one with a suggestive name hinting at what he was really after. The more persistant a guy is in meeting you when he hasn't talked to you on the phone or emailed you letting you get to know him a little better, the more creeped out I feel. There's just too much danger going on these days for me to meet up with someone I barely know who hasn't even taken the time to email me a time or two before asking for my phone number or meeting up in a public or private place. I want to hear from them that they are a decent person before I go out and get myself killed or what not. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:45:57 PM | | I have met people in person and found that there was no interest after emailing for a while. It felt like a waste of time and excitement. Your mind starts filling things in like the sound of their voice or how they gesture when they speak and then you have an inconsistency when you finally meet...not to mention sheer lack of chemistry. It is better to get it over with fairly early on... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:55:42 PM | | With me , I prefer to meet early on so nobody wastes anyones time. I can usually tell in a few minutes if there is enough reason to continue getting to know someone. Why waste bunches of e-mail and time to find out there is no Chemistry. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:56:06 PM | Oh, I know where you're coming from OP. When a (fairly) interesting guy e-mails me in my area, he usually wants to meet with me within a few days. If I'm a tad (just a tad, mind you) interested in him, then I do consider meeting him within a few days of initial contact.
Unfortunately, the last few dates that wanted to "meet with me right away" (and I met with them face to face), I could only stand to be in their presence for 1 hour and 43 minutes each..I counted.
A red flag goes up for me now when someone wants to meet me so quickly. I feel more comfortable if I'm conversing with someone for a few weeks online and by phone in order for me to observe some consistency in their behaviour and to see if their "needy" thermometer is at a low level.
Sans | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:07:56 PM | I get alot of messages from guys with phone numbers or simply can we meet and I always explain this... I dont even know your name so why would I? I am also here to meet someone and agree with some posts on here that say this is just a first contact site but I am choosy and like to think that guys that would like to meet me also are.
I prefer to exchange a few messages and then speak on the phone and then meet. Sure people can lie and be misleading but I like to think I have a fair judgement and can pick up warning signals so for that I need to chat a bit first. Not saying that theory cant be wrong but if I said yes to every guy that wanted to go out from here Id be busy 24/7! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:31:27 PM | | I've seen the same. If you have the time to be bored witless meet right away. I will want to chat with them or talk to them briefly to know if they are safe in the head first. But not chat and email endlessly before you finally meet and know your/their time is being wasted. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:51:51 PM | | yeah i hear ya calichick and understand where your coming from,i offer my number to women after we have mailed each other a few times ,i ask if they are comfy with me giving my number.i,m here to meet women and maybe find a life long partner not a pen friend.i have had giving out my number backfire on me too,i spoke a few times on the phone to this woman,who really wasn,t who she said on her profile,she turned out to be rather nasty.i got calls all hours of the night for ages from this nutcase.there are alot of men on these sites that are looking only for one thing,it ruins it all for us honest and real men.i have heard the stories from other women on here too......sad really. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:01:13 PM | | I would meet them for a lunch or afternoon coffee and this way you do not waste time building imaginary feelings with IM words or a pic that may be 15 years old -giggle | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:49:45 PM | | I used to be the type where I preferred emailing or Im'ing back and forth for a while so that I could see if we actually had enough in common to meet up. However, lately, I've changed to where I'm all for meeting relatively fast. It doesn't have to be literally in the first initial email to the girl, but if someone writes back and says they also seem interested in your profile, then I think it's best to meet up within a week or so. All of the things you'd ask or say online or by email get taken away from what you'd ask on the first date/meeting, leaving even less to talk about! | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:06:02 AM |
I feel more comfortable if I'm conversing with someone for a few weeks online and by phone
You gotta be kiddin'....WAY to long to wait.
I hate it when you talk to a person on here...find out they live within practically walking distance of your home, and they still aren't "comfortable" meeting for l unch....what's up with that? Why waste your time chit chatting online with someone that lives across the street from you?? | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:11:01 AM | Unfortunately, the last few dates that wanted to "meet with me right away" (and I met with them face to face), I could only stand to be in their presence for 1 hour and 43 minutes each..I counted.
Wow, Sans - that's a LOT longer than I could sit there. I give you credit. I'd give it about 15 minutes - tops. Not sure I could sit with a guy almost two hours I actually liked...at least not so early on.
I might not talk to someone a long time, but I don't plan to meet for more than a pit stop in my schedule. | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:20:57 AM | | Why not...Do you want to play ping pong emails or do you want to get out and meet people and have fun....what would you have done if you had meet someone as you go about your day and they asked you out?...would you ask them to meet you where you first met them twice a week for a month so you can get to know them before you went for coffee...I dont think so....these websites are for meeting people not for building a relationship with them on it.... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:21:07 AM | | I usually do meet if they live close but its very dangerous becuase there are so many nutt cases online. as my mother tells me....one day u are gonna meet the wrong man who is gonna kill ya. think aobut it a murderer is not gonna tell ya he is a murderer. tehy have to be nice. so us women are taking a huge chance when meeting someone from the net. I always look at their eyes. the eyes usually tell it all. there are lots of men i would never meet due to their eyes. so getting to know them first online is not a bad thing. ur fun could turn into a nightmare if meet too soon. course it could turn into a nightmare anyway. its a chance us ladies all have to take. ya it could end our life but then again it could be a wonderful outcome. you jsut never know. they are lots of horror stories from men and women meeting off the net. there are men out here strictly to lure women and children out and then kill them. lucky for me i have never came across one but its not like i meet many either. anyone murders me and im coming back to haunt them if I can. lol | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:33:25 AM | | I really do believe, if you like someone and they like you and it feels right, then go for it...why waste time, emailing, texting, and IM-ing. I think way to many people hide begind these means. We are all sort of playing a visual game, with hints of mystery by being on here..., but if you like someone why waste anymore time waiting when the mystery becomes way to much and then you fall into a sense of disappointment after meeting them because of having an email/text/IM relationship where there was no voice connection and no physcial connection...which face it that's what we are really looking for..., right..a great connection... | |
|
| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:22:11 AM | | Some guys do us a huge favor and show their asses pretty quickly, that way we dont waste gas or time meeting them. If a guy is capable of a decent conversation on the phone, no nasty talk, I will most likely want to meet him. I once had a phone call with an interesting guy I seriously thought I would meet. We talked for 3 hours on the phone, then at the end he starts getting this strange, desperate tone in his voice whining how he wanted to meet me. We had earlier talked about meeting at Dunkun Donuts the next day. His phone got disconnected, I thought his cell went dead and went to sleep. The next day he told me he drove around Dunkun Donuts three hours looking for me. At the time I didnt have a picture to send him so how he thought he would find me was a great mystery. Talk about weird. I think the saddest thing is that you build up something solid, talk on the phone, have lots of laughs, meet and there is no chemistry but the potential for a great friendship is there but they just want to get laid and write you off. I have met guys where there was no chemistry but we stayed friends and I would recommend them to women they would probably hit it off with. No hard feelings, it happens. A really great guy is one who dosent rule this out as a possibility, sometimes we can be friends. | |
|
Home
login 
