| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:24:24 AM | I might not talk to someone a long time, but I don't plan to meet for more than a pit stop in my schedule.
Would you wait until you're at least done eating? lol | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:28:11 AM | Would you wait until you're at least done eating? lol
LOL...there's no food. Takes about 10-15 mins to drink a coffee/water...and the beverage travels if I can't stand being there even that long. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:34:22 AM | YES, absolutely.....have gotten MANY like yours. My feelings are that if a man isn't willing to correspond with you for at least a week or two, before getting to phone numbers, then they are just interested in a quick look and a fast leap into your bed!
I insist, before spending the time getting dressed and driving to meet someone, that I at least want to know something about this person. By e-mailing, you can tell an awful lot about a person...his intellect, his feelings about things in general...and whether you think that you would have anything in common with this person.
If they are in that much of a hurry...makes one think,....... doesn't it? | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:35:54 AM | Some of them are on here cuttin n pasting, must have the idea that the more they put out there the better their chances are of getting someone to fall for the b.s...lol!! I've ONLY ever exchanged cell phone # with someone I feel okay to talk too. And I've been lucky I suposse, that way. The more decent ones have not been so eager to meet immediately. Alot of men do seem to want to get to the meet, to see if the attraction is there, and some are looking to get more ....I've never meet the few that really pushed me over e-mails..and don't seem to believe my schedule or that I'm just not ready or have too much going on that week...
the few creeps that get over pushy usually stop after I ignored them.... got a voice mail recently..lol!! Of a guy singing " You're a biotch..." lmao!! but it came from a computer generated number on caller i.d.
The majority of guys I've talked/e-mailed are decent enough to not push for more than I am willing to do.
I do agree it's better to meet someone sooner rather than weeks of messaging, I try to anyway... cause I've had a few admit to me after a month or so that they are actually still married, and trying the dating scene out!!! So alot of guys may be leary of women that are pulling something like this too?! And guys are just different than us on a whole
look at how they shop?! Christmas eve...5p.m. lol!! Men can walk into the store purchase what they came for and get out. It's their nature to get things done. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:44:01 AM | | The first night I signed on here I was having difficulty putting a pic up and a guy started sending IM's and asking me not to post a pic because he didn't want anyone else seeing it and wanted to take me off the market immediately. He wanted me to just send a pic to his email address. Talk about RED FLAGS! As for whether to meet right away or not. I think we could all be whoever we want to make ourselves out to be in emails or even over the phone it's not until you truly spend time with someone that you find out who they really are. I firmly believe that even that sometimes takes years. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:44:58 AM | | Generally, I like to exchange a few messages or talk on the phone once or twice before meeting. However, if I feel that the person and I will have a great connection, I'd like to meet them right away. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:52:46 AM | finding a lot of ppl just want to talk on here and have no intention of meeting....
emails tell u next to nothing... and phone calls are ok, but the real test is seeing each other...so its better to get the worst part over 1st and go on from there.... | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:53:20 AM | | I had a guy wanting to pick me and my son up and go out to dinner with him and his daughter after the first time we talked!! Needless to say I hit the "block" button. Some guys jump the gun and it makes women run. They don't understand that women take a huge risk when we go to meet a guy. Sure it's in a safe little coffee shop but we don't know if this guy is going to follow us to our car or follow us home and then have to deal with him stalking us! It's better to be safe then sorry and talk to the guy on the phone a few times, try and see if he is crazy BEFORE you meet, that way you save time and gas money. My rule is I wait a week or 2 before meeting someone. I've met 2 people off this site so far and it's turned out pretty good. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:57:04 AM | Ok, I maybe in the minority here, but based on my experience, people rushing to meet without even knowing something about each other are only after one thing. Sorry, after 6 months here, that is my conclusion. The only successful meeting I had was one way after saying hi. The other two, well, let's say though not a bad one, should not have happened based on the outcome. They did admit they were after one thing and it was a waste of time in terms of my search for friends; and theirs, in terms of their search of an instant activity/sexual partner.
In short, that all depends on what you want. To each their own. It's too bad that anything associated with friendship first is a bad word for some guys. I think people should really read profiles, understand them and ensure that they are in the same page and not get all bent up about whose fault it is that they feel they have wasted their time. Some people have the fear of establishing rapport by any means of communication except in their bed. It's a red flag if they cannot carry their end of an intelligent conversation and they want to meet asap. Meeting some guys because they are in a rush is not my idea of not wasting my time. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:58:03 AM | I state specifically in my profile that I want SOME online communication prior to meeting.
Why men have to exaggerate and call it endless emails or serial chatting I dont know.
Well, I do ... it happens but not with me! I set a limit to online connection as soon as it starts.
Its the modern version of courting. As a few women have mentioned here many of my basic concerns
can be alleviated by a few conversations and questions. Also amazing what comes up that definitely ends it for me
without a face to face meeting.
No one has mentioned communicating via webcams on messenger. I am exactly who I am in person
when seen on cam :mannerisms, facial expressions, body language and voice. I find this to be generally true for the person
I am talking to as well. Since I have a hectic career and do not drive, I appreciate this method of cyber meeting to test the waters
and it is much more convenient for me than a face to face.
If THAT works out I wouldn't hesitate to get together in person.
All of the interaction I seek to reach that point rarely takes more than a week.
If a guy cant wait a week and gets communication with someone he feels he is interested in
in the meantime then he is too impatient/immature for me!
This really does seem to be the deal breaker on either side.
Unfortunate, since you can easily sit a week or months refusing to
at least exchange a couple of informative mails and get none!
Opening up to a limited version of online communication could open
up way more REAL opportunities where quality women with the good sense
to protect their lives is concerned.
But then, maybe that is not who the pushy types want
and if so, I am glad they are shining me on! | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:29:23 AM | | There can be many reasons: 1) it can be a "canned" letter to everyone putting their hook into the water to see who they can catch. 2) On the other hand they could be sincere (and lonely) or 3) they could be unimaginative and can't figure out what to write (now that sounds like most men) LOL If their profile interests you, just communicate. I usually say, "Let's write a little more, or ask "why they are so QUICK to ask to meet or give their phone number. Once we email for a bit I will not meet them without talking on the phone first. A real conversation is very important in qualifying the buyer LOL If you wonder why someone does something, communicate, ask why? There are just too many reasons to know which one is correct, unless you ask. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:55:40 AM | No offense ladies, I know your safety is tantamount. Though I have found a number of things. 1. drawn out email/im leads you to conclusions about a person that may or may not be so reading the written word as opposed to the spoken. 2. drawn out introuctory periods on here sometimes leads to feelings, even slightly, that are squashed when a first meet happens due to lack of chemistry. 3. Since there are 6 or 7 guys on here to every woman, we understand you are getting bombarded with emails everyday. While you may start a dialog with a guy, and it seems to be going somewhere, then you recieve an email from some other guy and you disappear. Perhaps it would have worked, perhaps not, a meeting would have shown if there was chemistry or not. This does happen due to the vast supply here in the candy store.4. just as you point out there are many men here just for sex. There are many women here for ego gratification, they will email you for 2-3 weeks, flirt, say all the right things, though they have no intentions of meeting and when pressed they disappear onto the next guy to do the same.
In short I realize you should insure your safety, you don't want players or sex only guys. I know you want to get a sense of who it is your meeting. We ALL came here to meet someone, we ALL face problems in the process, MOST of us are honest. It is far better to get that sense of us quickly, meet in safety in a public place for a drink or coffee, then to lose 3-4 weeks of your life emailing, IMing, phoning only to find there is no chemistry and start the process all over again. My 2 cents, Bob | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:17:38 AM | No one has mentioned communicating via webcams on messenger. I am exactly who I am in person
when seen on cam
I appreciate this method of cyber meeting to test the waters
and it is much more convenient for me than a face to face
Personally, I think that's the problem when it comes to online dating these days, ....too convenient
Wayward...do a Google search on the "Unhooked Generation" i'ts also a book at Amazon, it refers how "distancing" technologies had made things more impersonal.
What I'm saying is....doing all that before meeting pretty much spoils things. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:48:26 AM | [What I'm saying is....doing all that before meeting pretty much spoils things.]
You CHOOSE to let it spoil it or enhance it! For me ...works just right...as I said.
To take an all or nothing approach to the way someone prefers things
speaks volumes about how the relationship is likely to go.
A week my way, then in person (your way) indefinitely, perhaps permanently.
Small price to pay.
Too large for many, but not all! | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:10:29 AM |
You CHOOSE to let it spoil it or enhance it! For me ...works just right...as I said.
To take an all or nothing approach to the way someone prefers things
speaks volumes about how the relationship is likely to go.
Okay, say for example.....I meet a woman online.....this one woman, I met....we emailed back and forth at the beginning of the week (say monday) and, what was really funny was that she lived pretty much across the main drag in another neighborhood a couple miles from me.
We emailed back and forth pretty much daily, and as the approaching weekend came about, I asked if she'd like to talk on the phone (note, I didn't ask her out actually...so I was taking it slow obviously)
She said she wasn't ready just yet.....I said, fine...so I continued with another week of correspondence.....she even added me (proactively) to her friends list...so i figured I was doing something right. lol.
So, come to the end of the NEXT week, I just went ahead and asked her to lunch. Guess what she still "wasn't ready"
That' swhen I told her, "hey, I don't think this will work, I believe we're just wasting each other's time here...I wish you luck in your search."
And I ended it at that...personally, I think she was being unreasonable....how bout you? Unreasonable? | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:27:28 AM | well I have to say the tag and mind games are all nice and well , but you dont get to know the person unless you meet them face to face .
Im not saying meet the dude at 10 pm in a dark alley, but durin the day or early evening at a public place sure ....
this is just to see whats out there realy ....
lets say you go out to a bar .... you meet this cute dude ,,,, you start talking ... whats different with that ... he is still a stranger... but you already met him face to face right there ...... so... here you have the upper hand, Im not saying play mind games ... if you interested ... meet for coffee something short and sweet ... go from there .. public place..keep it nice and safe ...
if you not interested then be woman enough to tell the guy that ... if you dont wonna give out your phone number thats fine ... meet for lunch some where . i understand why you concerned.... but you realy have to think about what you here for ... and as long as you keep some safty rules in mind .. its all cool
good luck fishing
you know I done that 1x ... I was totaly into this guy ,( online ) he was sweet,gentleman anything a woman could want . that carried on for 3 month , then we finaly met ....hahahahahahahahaha. now I am a person that lets everybody live, but he was nothing like the pictures .... he showed up totaly goth , tatoo on his head . ( where the heck did his beautyfull hair go ) he was at least 40 pounds lighter ( darnit i like meat on the bones )
so there I had it , see if I do that again , nope ty . if there is interest i meet you for lunch or coffee we go from there | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:43:35 AM |
Any other ladies get these sorts of messages? Part of me thinks that they just want to get in bed with me, but the other part of me thinks that they could be really sweet guys who are afraid of losing their email in my inbox with the amount of mail I receive - it's so hard to tell who belongs to what category!
To Calichick25,
I think you are "thinking too much". You'll never fully be happy until you let your guard down and allow yourself to meet as many men as possible. nobody controls your body BUT YOU. nobody can change that. If anything, might you succumb to the temptation of lust???
The answer is simple. If a man is putting in his fair share of work, the odds are (most of the time) he's being sincere and really wants to meet you with no "hidden agendas". | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:45:33 AM | A) I never go out to bars or talk to strangers(I haven't been introduced to by someone I trust)
haven't for 20+ years so that's a bad example,for me.
B) The situation gentleman has described is the classic one that is not what I have described nor condone
ITs all or nothing again! I decribe a situation unlike the common one mentioned
and no one addresses that but just repeats the stories about lengthy online contact which didnt work out.
I want some, limited, online contact even if the guy lived on my block!
But, NEVER for more than a week!
That is all! That has not been addressed.
It's too easy to come back with an example which clearly makes ONLY your point
and is the only one used on this thread as an argument.
Once you agree to a reasonable time limit and stick to it ( I DO!)
I have a point and as I said other than the resistance of males
who repeat the scenario Gentleman did to me to refuse
it works for me. SO, it could work for others who operate with clear boundaries.
A man with clear boundaries who sticks to them and respects mine is who I want anyway. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:33:04 AM | | ya know i emailed a man from pof and he responded and we met same day after only few wrods cuase he lives very close to me. turns out he is a wonderful man. treats me like a queen. he is not orignally from usa but he treats me way better than any usa man ever has. very respectful, freindly, considerate of me and others, jsut a beautiful personality. I am still dating him and i have no idea what is to become of us but we both enjoy all of our time togehter. nevr thought i would meet someone so amazing on pof. howevr we met in preson only a few hrs after we spoke. so sometimes things do work out. I think my case is rare but it does happen. He tells me he wnats to be with me always. who knows maybe we will even marry lol. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:07:55 PM |
I believe messaging and talking to people on the phone is a waste of time because, your whole perception of them in person is going to be totally different.
Agreed! One of the very first girls I met up with from this site, I had talked to for about a week on msn. She finally got enough courage to give me her number. After my first phone call, I had already noticed that she was acting different. When we met up, I didn't know who I was with, because the girl online was chatty, flirty and out going. To say the least, I was disappointed with that experience. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:12:14 PM |
I'd prefer to meet someone fairly quickly or at least take it off the site as soon as possible. And I'm not looking to get in anyone's pants by just meeting them... I've wasted a lot of time talking to people and thinking maybe there'd be something only to never even meet them or get any interest in meeting from them.
Post #2 summed it up perfectly - there are times I can be chatting with someone for a month, just to have it die off becuase the internet can basically kill interest after awhile, for either side. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:16:40 PM | | I have had similar experiences, phone numbers on first e- mails or second tell me, they like the picture and just want to try the body.I have had bad experiences with phone calls, one going into my voice mail , with a code. This has put me off giving my number and I need a lot of trust to do this.I have guys go ballistic when I insist I am interested after asking me to be honest.Because of this, I have forums and friends on my profile now, but its ignored all the time.I have met some fabulous men on here too, but due to the bad scarey ones I am reluctant to meet them.The freaky guys ruin it for the good guys no doubt. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:20:01 PM | well rita , thank god we all have our own point of views , but it makes me wonder .... ok maby the bar thing was a bad example . lets take a department store ..... sombody talked to you or ask you a question........ you dont talk because youhave not been introduced, by someone you trust ?????or the grocery store . sombody asks you about an idem , ( it happens) you dont talk ????
or maby you just dont meet anybody .....
if you open your eyes you meet all kinds of people... planed or not , unless of course you choose not to ..
yes maby the bar was a bad example but never the less it was just an example .......
but yes it happened to me . I went to a bar somebody talked to me ... so , yes i answered back . lol
that does not mean I go to bars to pick up guys . it means someone out there . likes to be arround people, nothing worng with that ....
if you dont talk how in the world are you going to find mister/misses right ????
hmmmmm of course there is that thing called online dating .............to each its own i rather talk to real people then my pc lol
but then again thats just me
and if all else fails I made some friends along the lines !!!!!!! | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:27:07 PM | I make friends and I talk to people.
Just only those I have met through someone I trust.
That amounts to plenty for my taste ... for friends!
Some people have different lives (like myself) and other than a polite
acknowlegement/answer I don't get into conversations with people
I meet in stores or public places.
I certainly don't go out with them just because they have talked to me there. | |
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