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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:53:13 AM | | If I like thier pictures and profile...I don't even really want to have a discussion online. There are people that I talk to on here because we live so far away and there isn't much chance of meeting, but it is always strictly plutonic and friendly, and it's never an everyday thing. I don't want ot waste time and heartstrings getting to know someone only to find out there is no chemistry between us. If you are smart and always meet in a public place, have an unlisted, untraceable phone number, and let a friend or someone know where your going, your safe enough...just be smart! If you met them at Starbuck's let's say, just going about your day, than you'd be face to face anyway right???? This to me, is just like a list of people who are advertising that they are single, and I like it because it takes out that initial guesswork...when your out in public, you don't know who is single yet. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:44:33 AM | I want to find out a bit about a lady to figure out if we have common interests, but after a certain point, what is there left to write about? A lot of people on internet dating sites are only there for the fantasy. I don't need dozens of women, just one, and I would prefer to spend time with her than with my computer. If a woman can't find time to meet me after a couple of weeks of email, chat, phone, then either she doesn't have time for me in her life, or she's just playing games. You can't know if you're attracted to someone until you see them in person.
As to the "I saw your picture and I'm in love", or some variation thereof, including the vulgar ones, that's what the delete function is for. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:01:39 AM | It's funny to see the differences in gender on this issue.
The men cannot possibly know what it feels like to be a woman in the first meet scenario.
We walk around all day, every day, knowing there are predators who will try and hurt us, take from us what they have no right to even think about-it is part of our makeup as we are constantly bombarded with warnings, news stories about attacks etc...Im not saying women are paranoid...but if they were raised like myself, they were warned thier entire lives about meeting strangers, being careful of strangers.
Then she joins POF and is expected to toss all that training right out the window!
I agree that meeting sooner over later is better. I too have wasted time emailing/IMing folks, only to meet and see nothing about that person that makes me want to come back for more...but it is scary not knowing who I am meeting!
I meet in a public place, have my cell fully charged in case I need it...I do take precautions. But it is still a bit scary. The heart thumps like crazy!
I know men who have had scary encounters too-but for the most part, a man can handle the physical threat of a woman easier than women can against a man. (in most cases)
I understand when men want to meet right away, want to eliminate the ladies who are only here for kicks...but please do understand, we cannot possibly run out and meet every man who asks us to here. We would have to stop working to find the time! So, we begin the filtering process, and sorry to say, the filter here is email. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:03:17 AM | I think many guys like myself are just keen to progress things either way. I wouldn't be as premature as to ask a woman for meeting as early as the second or third email, but all going well I would ask a woman if she'd like to meet after about 2 or 3 weeks of exchanging messages for sure, I don't consider that unreasonable.
I don't think it's guys wanting to get in your pants, if a guy wanted to do that then he could just go to nightclub and meet somebody for a one-night stand.
You can gauge someone's personality better when you meet them face to face, you can pick up things that messages and phone calls can't tell you about a person. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:18:40 AM | At the end of the day, it doesn't matter where you meet a bloke, online or in a club etc 80% will just be looking for one thing (no big prize for guesing)! However, the online thing does put up a big barier, I mean you can get along brilliantly with someone online but when you met there's nothing there - life is hort so there really is no point in wasting time, hence wanting to chat / meet after a few emails is a way of seeeing if there is a spark in the real world or not.
Don't be put off by it, get to know a nice bar thats not too close to where you live, get to know the staff there etc and then take the lead, when a guy asks to meet you, say you'll meet him at that bar, give him a time and stick to it. Chat, see how you get along but then at the end of the evening say good bye and that you just need to catch up with a friend. Your date will leave and you can chat to the people you've gotten to know at the bar.
Remember, you have the power not the other way round, you make the decission if you want to sleep with someone - also it is worth remembering that a lot of men work on the rule of threes which is listed on many mens websites; I'll not go into detail but, if you make a guy wait for sex and he sticks around for three months, then he's interested in a relationship. After all, if you are looking for something meaninful then whats the rush? It's a great way to get rid of the ones looking for an easy lay. In the meantime, if you have certain sexual needs, get a vibe or even better, a friend 'with benefits' so you can take you time looking for someone extra special. Good luck  | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:22:06 AM | | I feel it is a waste of time to email and phone. I want to meet ASAP. It's not about getting into your pants. It's about REALLY getting to know someone. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:26:14 AM | | I find that with this site you e-mail for a while then it stops. That is why I think it is fairly important to meet quickly. It isnt the sex thing it is getting lost in time and mountain of e-mail | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:37:21 AM | I was on another site, awhile ago, and to me when they want to meet immediately, it's like assembly line dating. Meet, click, or not, and move on to the next.
Nope, need to talk awhile first, to get a feel. And I hated being put on the spot right away, asking me what I thought about that person for a second date.
People seem really desperate to find THE ONE. it's sad, I wish the guys would just slow down.
Bren1954 | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:37:58 AM |
Millions of young girls disappear after meeting a guy on the Internet
Wow...millions..really??????? A slight exaggeration there Eddie!
I met my partner 18 months ago on another site. We met up within one week of the initial mail but that was more my doing. I was his first and last internet date.
When I was dating, I saw nothing wrong in meeting up after a couple of e-mails and a conversation if I felt we clicked. HOWEVER, if someone included their phone number in their first e-mail with nothing more than a "call me" or similar...they would just get deleted straight away.
I never had many bad dates but I did develop an incredible bullsh1t detector so weeded out all the weirdos before ever going on a date with them. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:38:13 AM | id much rather meet sooner rather than later..after all thats what im on here for..to meet new people and get out enjoying myself...if i meet creeps i dont see them again.... take steps to keep safe...get out and have some fun. jill   | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:53:22 AM |
I understand what you mean , I have had guys send em an email with a phone number wanting to meet right away and to me without even so much as a small conversation , I think its crazy . I tend to ignore those type of guys it comes off as desperate and weird to me .
Normally I will send my phone number with my first message. Why not? If I see someone out in public that I am attracted too I have to either give my number or get their's in order to get to know them, so what's the difference? But to each their own, but I wont spend more than a few days exchanging messages if they are afraid to speak on the phone. By then they should know if I interest them or not, so why waste time chatting?
Someone trying to set an actual date on the first message would be a little weird though. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:16:44 AM | I wouldn't do that; I've had women do that with me though. It's really strange.
However, I don't like texting and calling and IM'ing for long periods of time. I lose interest in women if that's all we do for weeks on end. There has to be a date within a few weeks me thinks. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:24:39 AM | The answer is this;men do not play games nearly as much as women.If they want to meet,then they want to meet.Is that a crime or something hard to understand?
As far as wanting to sleep with you,(big secret here for all women,take note!)OF COURSE they want to sleep with you,I looked at your pics!This would not preclude them from being sweet guys,it would mean that they are normal healthy males.Perhaps many of you women out there should specify that you are looking to meet eunuchs only!Why would you post pics of yourself with your breasts half exposed if you did not want that type of attention.Ahh,...women?!??!?
Peace. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:42:22 AM | | why does every lady think that a guy just wants to sack her?? i have heard from many ladys that because the guy didnt call her back after a date they where just looking to sleep with her and she didnt let them, thats why they didnt call back. thats not so !!! i have been on many dates that i didnt find interest in and didnt call back, thats not because i didnt sleep with them. i send my # out because i have i hard time finding or showing personality without talking to the person, not everyone is good on a keybord. like me. i just saw your profile this morning and found it funny that i saw this post about #s and there you are. mike | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:45:43 AM | | I would assume that every woman gets those sort of messages. I've even gotten those sorts of messages, one even tried setting up a date on the first email she sent. I think it was You, me, starbucks in town, 5 pm? | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:49:17 AM | If it's a guy I actually have enough interest in online to be curious what he's about offline - I'll meet fairly quickly.
Most are not however and I have no time schedule with them because it doesn't matter...
Yes, there's something about a phone number or invite in an initial e-mail that smells a bit of desperation...I understand not wanting to talk for months, but once or twice is sort of necessary to gauge wasting your time and gas. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:51:16 AM | Agreed mrd777. If a guy finds a woman attractive, obviously in the back of their mind, there is that thought that would involve sex. That, however, is normal and takes place whenever you meet someone you could possibly be interested in as more than just a friend.
On the other side of the coin, I had a friend try this site and she told me all the disgusting emails she received from guys just looking for sex. In my opinion, anyone giving their number away on email one is a fairly obvious sign that something isn't right. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:55:13 AM | mrd777: So a man who wants to sleep with a girl right away may still be a sweet and normal guy, but a girl showing cleavage is asking for the wrong kind of attention?
Sorry, but a sweet guy is going to treat the gal with respect whether she is showing cleavage to her chin or not.
OP, these emails make me feel a bit uncomfortable. I received one this morning from a guy who lives three hours away. He started out by saying he had messaged me previously. I did not remember ever speaking to him before, so I checked the history and sure enough, this morning's email was the first one he had sent.
His next note was asking me to meet him for a drink. Of course I told him I would not meet up with a stranger who I had gotten to know here, never mind drive three hours to do it. This guy was persistent and said he would come to me instead...sorry, you're still a stranger to me, so the answer is no! I would not meet up with somebody I don't know if he lived in the same city!
Next note: He gives his email addy and says, "if you want to get to know me, ask me anything!"
Good grief! I hadn't even had my morning coffee yet....and one of my peeves on here is when they make the first contact, then tell you to ask them anything! By that point, I was annoyed to heck. Now if he had sent an email saying he liked my profile, had similar interests, or liked one of my forums posts, I would have thought he was making a a bit of an effort to get to know me, there may have been at least a chance for further dialogue...and then meeting. But, the way things transpired this morning, I would not lose any sleep over him not contacting me again!! | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:56:29 AM | I find many have become self-absorbed. you can't attract anyone if they can't find you, you've got to pry yourself away from those "Friends zones" reruns and get out into the world. sometimes it seems much easier to stay in your protected little bubble, but the reward you stand to gain, is definitely worth taking the risk.
the question is... how much time have you got to make that effort? take an hour or so out of your busy schedule to meet someone, otherwise you might be passing up that someone special. they maybe not suited for you but at least you know right? you wont know unless you give it a chance otherwise. without taking the risk...your not living life to the fullest. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:04:04 AM | | I have exchanged emails with a lady and she seemed to enjoy conversing with me. When I did give her my number, all of a sudden she disappeared. Why is that? I don't understand why people are so hesitant to meet. In a 30 minute meeting for coffee you can learn so much more than a months worth of emails. So why not have the coffee and save yourself the time and trouble? | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:08:28 AM |
Any other ladies get these sorts of messages? Part of me thinks that they just want to get in bed with me, but the other part of me thinks that they could be really sweet guys who are afraid of losing their email in my inbox with the amount of mail I receive - it's so hard to tell who belongs to what category
OP, you are an attractive women but do seem to be into yourself. Guys being afraid of losing there email in your inbox. Please. You seem to give off the vibe that you say these guys are producing. Take your restrictions off. I'll email you without being desperate about it. | |
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| Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/13/2008 8:18:45 AM | It depends on what we call immediately. I'm not into the talking for a long time via email, IM or phone. It's a waste of my time. I want to know quickly if there is or isn't a connection so I can move on to the next guy.
After a couple of emails, I spent about an hour on IM and then 6 1/2 hours on the phone (all in one day) and then met up with the guy I just started dating. | |
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