| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:55:29 PM | Ignore your ex's phone calls, emails. All of it - there's no reason for you to be in touch with her. You're not her friend. Give yourself a break for at least a few months from ALL CONTACT, and if you still want to talk to her afterwards, then you can at least make the decision rationally.
It's also dishonest to be in a relationship while you are talking to an ex like that. It's emotional cheating. It's not fair to your current girlfriend, and you're holding yourself back from being with her. So if you keep talking to your ex, then you need to end the current relationship. Hell you might already have cause irreparable harm, but only time will tell that.
Put it this way, I'd rather have my girl throw a mindless blowjob to a guy in a bar than be the emotional girlfriend to her ex.
I had an ex who was like that - as soon as things turned south she re-inserted herself into my life, but luckily I had gone without her for long enough that I could objectively say it was better to be alone than in a bad relationship. It can only help you're actually with a girl you like too! | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:17:38 PM | | I would just say that now that she has the kid on the way, the actual father (if she even know who it is) probably wants nothing to do with her and she wants you to support her. I wouldn't do it man. Once she has you straddled with the kid because "You love her like your own" then she'll be out there back at it. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:29:50 PM | | She doesn't deserve you. I know logically it makes sense and emotionally it doesn't, but time helps. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:36:27 PM | OP,
You must truly feel honored that now that she's farked her life up it's you she'll lovingly drag down into the morass to be with her. You must be so relieved she settled on (and for) you. And what were the results of that paternity test?(we'll save the maternity test for @25 years from now...) | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:38:50 PM | "First time shame on you, second time shame on me". If you allow her in your life, all the turmoil that is going to happen is ALL on you. You know what she is about; she's using you. There is no reason to communicate with her.
You have to stop tearing yourself up by even communicating with her. You are very young and people your age cheat a lot; She's talking to you more frequently because she needs you. She will love you and be with you until someone else comes along that is cuter and funnier and then say,"I love you but I'm not in love with you" or some other crap. This girl also was cheating while probably having unprotected sex possibly exposing you to others.
She knows you worship her; she is going to you for help. You need to drop her like yesterdays news. It's hard but have no contact with her. I mean NONE; its not a law that says you have to talk to her. Block her email, and dont answer text or calls. She's playing you like a fiddle. This girl is a present and future train wreck and you are allowing her to control you. Are you willing to raise another mans child at 20 knowing she cheated on you to do it? Wow. Its hard but you have to man up.
She is on a train wreck and she's asking you to come along for the ride. She doesn't love you she needs you. AGain, don't believe her; move on; she chose to cheat and leave, not you. You have to man up and get a big backbone and make her respect you or you will have turmoil for a long time. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:25:22 PM | | If she cheated once, she may just cheat again.. Its better for you to move on.. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:30:55 PM | | Stop talking with her and concentrate on good things for you. Take care of you and your new gf...have fun.. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:41:18 PM | I've been in your shoes, but the opposite way. My ex contacted me saying his new girl is pregnant, it broke my heart because I still had feelings for him. I think about him now and think what a jerk. I never understood why he felt the need to tell me that and then ask me to come up to his bar where he worked so I'd buy drinks all so he could get money. I don't talk to him anymore because I believe ex's are that way for a reason and friendship never works out.
You don't need her, just concentrate on your new girl and tell the ex to buzz off. Too much drama anyways. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:46:40 PM | | tell your ex to hit the road and don't come back. Deal with the current woman that's in your life right now. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 3:52:18 PM | this girl that I loved at the time had been cheating on me
Point #1
I .... slowly started seeing someone else.
Point #2
my ex (got) kicked out of her apartment, quit her job, and ... is pregnant.
Point #3
She goes into detail how she wants me to be with her and that she loves me and that i am the only one for her.
Point #587
OK, sorry.... but do you see what's happening here? You let her back into your life, after
you've already started seeing another girl.... and now this little "moral dilemma" wants an
easy meal ticket.... No job, no place to stay and preggers..... puleez dude.... HELLO?!?!
And you say you're tired of it all? Well honey, you've got no one to blame but yourself!
She cheated on you..... which means she'll cheat again. The only moral dilemma here is how
she's gonna live with herself. But that doesn't really involve you now, does it?
Or maybe it does.... because you seem to like to involve yourself with drama.
At 20 you really have to learn some lessons in self respect.... and fast.... before some
chick like that wipes you out. Step back.... take a good hard look at what you think you
love in her... and then take a harder look at yourself... and ask yourself why you're so
willing to sell yourself short.
Good luck OP. You're gonna need it if you don't wake up soon. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:09:22 PM | Heartbroke, Wigglesticks got it right:
You need to close one chapter of your life BEFORE you start another, and it sound like your ex is still very much an active chapter of your life.
It appears from your post that you are currently dating a new girl. Yet you're feeling conflicted.
I mean I am with a girl that I just started trusting and then my heart wants me to be with my ex.
Could you please tell your current girlfriend that you feel this way? Perhaps she shouldn't be so trusting of you. At the very least, I hope you'll spare her emotional angst by not being the guy who can't get over an ex, can't move on, can't focus on the NOW and the FUTURE. Life is not all about you, dude. Think of your current girl's feelings, please. Whatever you decide to do, please be honest and forthright with her, so that she can make her own decisions about whether you're worth her time and attention right now, when you're still so clearly obsessed with your ex.
Finally, how could I say it any better than Mark ^^^. Why in hell are you still in contact with your ex? Whatever you bring into your life, or back into it, at this point, is ON YOU. She's a known quantity. And to rid yourself of her, you'll need to clean house, emotionally and logistically. STOP talking with her and listening to her. She's not your friend. In case you need to hear that again, said another way, here it is:
If you allow her in your life, all the turmoil that is going to happen is ALL on you. You know what she is about; she's using you. There is no reason to communicate with her.
You're young. This too shall pass... [don't you hate it when people say that!] Just remember, if you let the ex back into your life and begin to raise a child she conceived with another guy soon after being with you, you'll certainly age quickly. You'll be old and wise beyond your years in a matter of months, possibly a year. Please don't do that. They say youth is wasted on the young, but it doesn't have to be. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:16:07 PM | Yes indeedy dudee she is a mind****, but to be extremely unpopular amongst all the logicals, this is why you love or loved her.
Being Australian, my uncle went to serve in the Secondworld War, when he arrived back his wife had just had a baby, to an American Serviceman. Ok so who cares about the history of my "First cousin".
Anyway contrary to family pressure and in those days very old fashioned values, he loved and stayed with her had another 7 children and they both died not that long ago, after 50 or so years of marriage. The way they looked at each other, oh yes he loved her. Turns out after their deaths there was another American serviceman's child she had but we are not going to go there now as that makes my aunt look even worse, and downplays the POINT, of my family love story.
So you make your own mind up dude, love her, leave her, support her, or try to get on with your life with your new girlfriend and forget about her. No-one can tell you what you should do as only your heart knows. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:39:31 PM | heartbrokekid......
u gota use your head here.....turn and run as fast as you can!!!! | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 4:45:21 PM | | First and foremost you should cut off all the ties, the texting the phone calls, you will NEVER get past this if you do not make some closeure for yourself. Good Luck! But you need to actually move on if you really want to get over this women. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:02:10 PM | | The point missed is that he wanted to spend his life with her and was about to propose. To quote my new friend from pof, eternal sphinx, nothing in life, but unconditional love comes for free. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:35:44 PM | Get rid of the new gf. Your not being fair to her as you still have unresolved issues. I did the same myself. I came out of a 3 year relationship and all I wanted was my ex and I continued to date and it wasnt nice for them guys. They were second best and I was pretty much decieving them all. I had to stop and get over it in my own time. It took me months on my own to get rid of my feelings for my ex and move on properly, now I could see him in street and he means nothing at all to me.
As for the ex Im sorry Im about to say this. She is about to become a single parent. Shes got not alot goin for her really and your there. Thats what its about. Her settling for you. If you can live with that and know you got her by default then fine go for it. You may get a few years out of it while you help support her and her child till she moves on but maybe you can live with that till it happens again, and it will.
She cheated and she lied. If she pulls it all off I grudginly admire her really. As someone said she was at the top of her game, pulling all the strings, flying high and didnt give a shit now shes low, shes a victim and alone what a transformation and her choices did all this to her life.
She needs to learn her consequences and for you to go in there and sort out the mess she created is silly, this is not your life its hers. Get strong. Meet someone worthy of you. Shes a screw up and fundermentally always will be. Its not a life and its not what you deserve.
You can plainly see how this could play out. You get together you pay and look after hr child. She'll train it to call you daddy and then bang one day she'll toss you out all over again. Do it with your eyes open because you may feel hurt now but imagine in a couple of years when youve watched her child grow and loved it and you have no claim at all to to it. She can just get rid of you. Please be careful x | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:47:31 PM | OP: You have no dilemma. Luckily, she f*cked up and now she is the one with the dilemma.
My advice to you NEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:54:03 PM | What's the question? Slut dumped you, got knocked up by a sperm donor, bailed out of her job/responsibilities and wants you to rescue her?
Try this- "Just Say NO." | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:58:54 PM | 1. She's your EX for a reason. Why have you allowed her to provide you with updates on her life? STOP IT! She broke your heart, she betrayed your trust, she cheated on you, you deserve a helluva lot better.
2. Of COURSE she's sucking up to you now...............she's HOMELESS and KNOCKED UP and is looking for someone to take her in and support her. Do not be a chump. Again - break off ALL contact with her. You've seen her true colors. She is a skank and a user. She made her proverbial bed, now she has to lie in it. I'm sure you still do have some feelings for her but if you get back with her you will be setting yourself up for a WORLD OF HURT. Plus, what happens if the baby's father comes back into the picture - then where does that leave you?
3. In case I didn't make it clear; STOP ALL CONTACT. Do not allow her to manipulate you because that is ALL she's doing, plain and simple.
Sorry you had to experience this. | |
|
| |
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:12:35 AM |
The point missed is that he wanted to spend his life with her and was about to propose. To quote my new friend from pof, eternal sphinx, nothing in life, but unconditional love comes for free.
You must have missed the most important point..... SHE CHEATED ON HIM!!
The only other point missing is that love, unconditional love isn't free if it comes with
that kind of payback. You can have that kind of love if that's how you define it. It's
certainly not my definition......
 | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:17:33 AM | If it'll help you any, think
- Child support + spousal for 20 years.
Can you afford 1500.00 per month?
If you could look into her brain, you'd see something like:
"I only have to put up with him for two little years. Then I'm home free." | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:21:33 PM | Hello Jon,
The trip to maturity includes a developed ability to pay attention to what is up ahead rather than what is in the past. Your past events seem to dominate your attention.
You cannot unburn bridges; you cannot put the spilled milk back into the broken jar.
You live your life ahead as needed as you atone for any sins, if any, in the past. Your Ex has done the same. In the process, she has started events that will accompany her into her future. DO NOT MAKE HER FUTURE YOURS; otherwise, you will share her fate.
Good Luck on the rest of your life. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:15:42 PM | well let me give a complete update on the situation and fill in some details that i may have left out.
I have told the girl that i am dating in the past when we started dating that i have problems with my ex. I have also told her that my ex has currently been talking to me which really offended her but honesty is the best policy for me to get over all this. I did not start dating the girl i am with until months after i was cheated on and prior to officially dating we knew each other fairly well and has helped me in the past.
Now with my ex. She is not a homeless junkie or anything of the sort. She simply was kicked out cause she could not pay rent and lives with her mom. Also the father of the child supports her fully but apparently it was not the way that she needed, hence her contacting me. I have also ceased all ties with her and i clearly stated that i do not need her saying things that she probably does not mean at all.
Thank you everybody that replied. I think this kick in the rear really helped me. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:53:18 PM | SMART YOUNG MAN! You did the right thing even though it may have hurt you to make a decision to cease all contact...you will at least start to feel the relief of not being part of the drama. This is a new chapter of your life and I wish you many blessings and I hope your heart finds a happiness you can't get enough of! You are young..breathe in life fully and know you have your whole world at your feet...waiting to be awakened. Good Luck to you and thank you for the update. | |
|
Home
login 
