| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:08:22 AM | | First you need you need to take a good look at why you are talking to her at all. Do you actually crave torture? She did it once, pal AND she will do it again. Don't try to figure out her reasons... look into your own to find out why you are letting this broad play mind games with your feelings AGAIN. As difficult as it sounds.........move on and move fast. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:38:33 AM | She probably only wants to get back with you because the guy who knocked her up took off and now shes desperate for someone to be her baby dad | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:48:52 AM | my friend at 49 I have been where you are !
take a piece of paper right down the reasons to talk to her on one side the reasons not to
on the other side and then take the piece of paper and throw it in the bin and don't talk to her believe me you will be doing yourself a favor get a nice girl who will respect you
and not mess with your feelings. (walk away its a train wreck -run) | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:18:05 PM | "Riding down the highway...... "
Would you rather the OP went back to a woman that cheated on him?
Would you rather that he spent his hard earned money on a woman that dumped him,
got herself pregnant by someone else, lost her job, her apartment and now only wants him
back to support her?
Would you rather he sell himself short?
See, I don't agree with the input by those that side with the girl, because SHE CHEATED ON HIM!!
Once a cheater, always a cheater, in my book. MY book. You don't have to like my opinion,
but careful about calling me out on it.... | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:44:42 PM | You know, I've read your dilemma and several posts which all point to the "girl" that's the manipulator.. and she might be. However, it does take 2 to tango. I'm reading a lot about "HER", so my question is "what's your part in this"? You're answering the phone, You're ALLOWING yourself to get all involved in her life's problems, You're allowing your heart to be torn between 2 different girls. WHY? What are you getting from it?
Yes, you loved her and might have love in your heart for what USED TO BE or more importantly WHAT YOU WANTED IT TO BE. That will probably remain there for the rest of your life. We take something away from every relationship we're in. What you think, feel, dwell on; the actions your make & how you treat other people in your life (namely the new girl)--- THOSE ARE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
Dysfunction cannot function without a partner.. you have allowed yourself to partner with her dysfunction.. why?
So, look deeper inside yourself. You know what has happened. Either you want to be in her dysfunction and accept her for who she is.. cheating and all (or) get out. Tell her your done and be done. Don't answer the phone. period. Yes, you might greive for a time but you'll be healthier inside at the end.
I'm not negating your pain. I am however going to challenge what you do with it AND your life. We all have choices and must take responsibility and be accountable for the choices, good & bad, that we make without blaming it on someone else.
Good Luck and be gentle with your soul  | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:53:14 PM | Leopard doesn't change it's spots, nor Tiger it's stripes. At least not spontaneously.
Ask any of the women here - who married a man who cheated on his (former) wife:
 "Has he also cheated on you?"
Don't be surprised at the very high percentage who say YES.
Leopard doesn't change it's spots, nor Tiger it's stripes. At least not spontaneously.
On the other hand... maybe you find that sort of behavior attractive? | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:22:39 AM | | That is exactly what she is-- and it's time you tell her that she played herself. You aren't attracted to charity cases and it's too bad she had to become one to recognize what you are. | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:20:09 AM | It's sounds to me as if with all the hormones kicking in, no home, no job and a baby about to drop, she is needing someone, ANYONE who will come to her rescue.
The truth is, none of this is your doing, and she needs to find another avenue, hopefully a productive legal one. She has many options and many charities that will help her.
You on the other hand, have just met a new lady, who you seem to be getting on with rather nicely, don't mess up a chance at a wonderfull new life , not for this girl.
Leopards don't change their spots, they just hide in the shadows and wait to strike again.
Take care and good luck Mary
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:51:15 AM | OP... this is exactly why I will not date anyone who has just broken up with someone. My last boyfriend had only broken up with a woman he loved a couple months before me. He SWORE to me he would never take her back, that she had her chance, and that he deserved better. So, I eventually opened my heart to him and let him in fully. Then, she called, wanted him back and guess what? He went on and on about how he made a mistake, should have waited for her, blah, blah, blah. It's been a few months, and they have since broken up. He made the wrong choice.
He broke my heart... and why? Because he didn't give himself enough time to get over her before he brought me into his life. It was unfair to me.
I've noticed that a lot of people truly believe getting "back on the horse" is the best way. From the perspective I'm looking at now... that is the worst thing to do.
The new woman in your life trusts you. She has opened her heart to you. And for a lying, cheating, uncaring woman, you would be willing to break her heart? You'd be making a huge mistake to go back to someone so untrustworthy when right in your own backyard you have someone who genuinely cares about you.
Sharzi | |
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| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:53:21 AM | You...
(regaining composure)
you deserve better than her. You can be weak and take her back and accept the chance that she'll cheat on you again or leave you again. You also take the chance that there will be no drama at all from the alternate guy she put in YOUR life by virtue of your choice to stay with her. And to get this potential misery what did you do? Love !??! Not a fair deal, Love for Misery.
like i said:
You deserve better than her. Bite your lips, deal with the heart ache, cut her off and continue with the new girl knowing she brings none of the drama of this drama queen. I say this from experience of having fallen for a girl that cheated on me, it only ended after I told her to f-ing leave me alone and cut her off. You have to be able to say that otherwise she'll use her power (your Love) over you to sidle her self into your situation.
Does new girl know about this drama with old girl? You either need to tell new girl what is going on NOW or cut old girl off NOW if you are to maintain a level of integrity in this situation as far as I can see.
Much success on your choice. | |
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