|
|
|
|
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:42:59 PM | wow!!! OP you dont need an advice on this situation, what do you think you have to do? I would use my brain if I have one lol. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:03:02 PM | OP,
You seem like an amiable person, and people are going to try to take care of your good nature, from time to time. Sorry, it comes with the territory. Remember, respect yourself,respect others, and make sure other people respect you. Good luck, do well. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:24:41 PM | Thanks for the updated Kid...
Sometimes people create beds of sticks and skunk weed, and complain they have to sleep in it, and hope the last person that loved them will come back and let them sleep in their cozy bed...
This gal created her own stinkweed bed, and it is good you are telling her to sleep in it, in a very nice way.
It is also good that you have a communicative relationship with the gal you're with...
Good luck to you | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:35:51 PM | i been cheated on and on top of that got her preg. a guy i was with for alittle over 2 years who claimed to love me.
If someone truely loves you, cares about you, they wouldn't cheat on you or do anything to hurt you, betray you.
Just move on, stick to the new girl your with right now and see where it takes you. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:06:35 PM | I was in a similar situation last winter with a guy I briefly dated, he was still hung up on his ex and tried dating me to "get over" his feelings for her. Needless to say, he wasn't ready to date anyone let alone me, so I got hurt in the process.
You haven't mentioned your current gf in this equation at all, the only things you have mentioned are your ex, her current dilemma and much it hurts, confuses and conflicts your emotions.
She had you once, took you for granted, went out and got knocked up by some random guy and now she realizes what she had with you and she regrets her actions. Now is NOT the time for her to be remorseful, she should never have taken you for granted and used you while you all were together.
I don't know if she necessarily wants to be with you genuinely or if she is just trying to lure you back to her because of her current predicament. A woman who is faced with raising a child alone is frightened and the prospect of being alone is very depressing for her, so naturally she knows you care for her and maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down inside she thinks that getting back together with you is going to "fix" her life.
You really should stop talking to her for the mere fact that you can't "save" her. All this unburdening and pouring out her problems on you isn't fair to you or the woman you are currently dating. She's doing this because you are letting her, you need to put your foot down and firmly tell her that because you all aren't a couple anymore (not to mention out of respect for your current gf), that she can't call on you when her life falls apart and goes to shit.
She is appealing to your pity....why or how could you ever be with someone you pity??? Why would you want to be with someone who treated you like crap??? Are you a glutton for punishment or do you truly enjoy the games and drama???
You have some serious issues to sort through and you need to be completely honest with yourself when you do. You not only have yourself and your happiness to consider, there is also how all of this will effect the woman you are now dating....the one you said you have opened up to, trust and have feelings for. I don't think this is an easy decision and it's far from a no-brainer, but I don't think it's your heart that is pulling you back to your ex........because despite what you may believe things will never ever be the same again and you know deep down inside the trust is gone.
I don't envy your situation and I hope that I've given you something to chew on in this long ramble, but you have to get your head together and don't string along an innocent woman, she hasn't done anything to deserve being treated this way and just like your ex broke your heart, dude, you need to do something and stick with it because this other woman can wind up being hurt in all this too. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:46:56 AM | I understand the torn feelings BUT you have to see this for what it is .... she's tryin to weasel her way back in (not because you'r ea great guy - which I'm sure you are) but because she HAS NO ONE ELSE!
sounds like she's made some bad choices and is paying a heavy price for them but (not to be overly mean) thats not your problem anymore. Perhaps had she not cheated on you etc you would have still been there for her or even still together but those are HUGE what if's , I say , hard as it is , cut off ties and move on to find your own happiness! | |
|
| She is a complete headfuck only because you let her!
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:54:50 AM | Only because you let her!
How long were you dating her?
Iit only took you two months or so to get over her? And you are already seeing other girls. ummmm... chin stroking moment here.
She is only mind ****ing you and giving all information because you let her. Delete her number, delete her email addy, and tell her that you are not interested... you didnt have kids together, so why would you both want to continue communication, there is no need.
You are only torn apart because you are lettering her do this to you.
Be a man, take control of YOUR LIFE... you don't need people like this in your life sucking you dry and making you feel like crap!
Good luck | |
|
| She is a complete headfuck only because you let her!
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:04:46 AM | Thanks for the update! (I love it when people actually follow their own threads and update).
It sounds like your ex has a thing for wreaking havoc and drama on her own life, and taking people down with her. She did it to you by crushing you and destroying her relationship with you. And now she's doing it to her baby's daddy by rejecting his support and running back to you. It looks like she runs from all good things and will never be happy with what she has while she has it.
So - good for you for rejecting a life of chaos. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:09:15 AM | | Run! Hard and fast..sure she needs yah now..*laugh* ..and as soon as u save her butt and put her on her feet she'll do it again. Yup! Might just take her longer this time to get around to doing it...but she will! | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:51:15 AM | One does what one is allowed to do,,,, so ask and you shall receive ! Lets break this down,,, errrr,,, someone you love,, and claimed to have loved you,,, cheats,,,, gets pregnant ? Is that LOVE??? Ahem,, whelp, hell no ! You are 20 she is ??? 18 19 20 ? news flash you guys are young and have alot of things to experience,,, you are just walkin the block,,, im sure you aint been around the block so many times you know whats around the corner. Im not downing your age im just saying with age comes experience. Do you really want to be tied down with a unfaithful woman/girl, who has a child that isnt yours????? Plus she is homeless and jobless,,, how will she care for herself, herself during this pregnancy and then ultimately for herself and a child ? is she not aware a baby is helpless (much like her) ??? Also you should have some goals for your life which include education, and then a good job/carreer. Arre you really ready to jump into dad role and take care of all of this ???/ Oh and what about the possibility of her hookin up with others during you saving her ? It is a bad situation and i feel for all of you. However, if you were on a train that you knew was getting ready to crash and had the opportunity to jump would you ??? Soooooo,, jump ,,, your heart will heal and so will your mind. Another issue, how will the girl you are seeing feel knowing you are all caught up in this drama ? Probally not good,,, All of life's questions can be answered in one question ,,, Would you like it done to you ? Then you know the answers ! Good luck and remember you feel like this now,,, a year from now it wont matter,,,, everything changes so should your life  | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:00:35 AM | tell her you have aids, that's what I would do. If you need a false positive certificate let me know..
You goto play fire with a nuclear weapon...
Who said all isn't fair in love and war?
Tired of these b i t c hes... just tired...
 | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:05:09 AM | You know...I can't say I'm in the same boat, but I definitely understand where you're coming from...and it SUCKS...
Well, here's some things you can do....
1) You go back to your ex...you run the chance of having a great life...or...you run the chance of the exact same thing happening...only this time, instead of your heart being torn up, it's torn out, and you run the risk of cracking up from it...
Or
2) You stay with the women you're with, and you offer your platonic love for your ex and any help she may need...excluding raising her child, Which is not your responsibility.
But whatever you choose you need to choose it for yourself, not for either of them. Good Luck.
EDIT: Just saw the update...You made the right move.
 | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:28:19 AM | | Call block her..when you make a break..(for the reasons u described)..you gotta make a 'clean break'..and never look back.She's definitely trouble and i would move on.Tell her you dont want all the drama in your life, and you're seeing someone else..and its serious.Don't return her phone calls..(it takes 2) and put forth your effort into the new one. Good luck. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:04:04 AM | | Block her emails, change your phone number and have NO further contact with this psycho. Why on earth would you consider going back to her after all she's put you through? Not to mention she's pg with someone else's baby, you would actually consider that scenario? Are you insane like her? Stop all contact with her otherwise you'll end up cheating on new gf w/old skank whore gf & be no better than her. Hell, maybe you two deserve each other if you're actually considering this nonsense. For shame! | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:35:42 AM | Lots of individuals are...I'm one myself...and when you live in a glass house, you should never cast stones... | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:08:22 AM | | First you need you need to take a good look at why you are talking to her at all. Do you actually crave torture? She did it once, pal AND she will do it again. Don't try to figure out her reasons... look into your own to find out why you are letting this broad play mind games with your feelings AGAIN. As difficult as it sounds.........move on and move fast. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:38:33 AM | She probably only wants to get back with you because the guy who knocked her up took off and now shes desperate for someone to be her baby dad | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:48:52 AM | my friend at 49 I have been where you are !
take a piece of paper right down the reasons to talk to her on one side the reasons not to
on the other side and then take the piece of paper and throw it in the bin and don't talk to her believe me you will be doing yourself a favor get a nice girl who will respect you
and not mess with your feelings. (walk away its a train wreck -run) | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:18:05 PM | "Riding down the highway...... "
Would you rather the OP went back to a woman that cheated on him?
Would you rather that he spent his hard earned money on a woman that dumped him,
got herself pregnant by someone else, lost her job, her apartment and now only wants him
back to support her?
Would you rather he sell himself short?
See, I don't agree with the input by those that side with the girl, because SHE CHEATED ON HIM!!
Once a cheater, always a cheater, in my book. MY book. You don't have to like my opinion,
but careful about calling me out on it.... | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:44:42 PM | You know, I've read your dilemma and several posts which all point to the "girl" that's the manipulator.. and she might be. However, it does take 2 to tango. I'm reading a lot about "HER", so my question is "what's your part in this"? You're answering the phone, You're ALLOWING yourself to get all involved in her life's problems, You're allowing your heart to be torn between 2 different girls. WHY? What are you getting from it?
Yes, you loved her and might have love in your heart for what USED TO BE or more importantly WHAT YOU WANTED IT TO BE. That will probably remain there for the rest of your life. We take something away from every relationship we're in. What you think, feel, dwell on; the actions your make & how you treat other people in your life (namely the new girl)--- THOSE ARE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
Dysfunction cannot function without a partner.. you have allowed yourself to partner with her dysfunction.. why?
So, look deeper inside yourself. You know what has happened. Either you want to be in her dysfunction and accept her for who she is.. cheating and all (or) get out. Tell her your done and be done. Don't answer the phone. period. Yes, you might greive for a time but you'll be healthier inside at the end.
I'm not negating your pain. I am however going to challenge what you do with it AND your life. We all have choices and must take responsibility and be accountable for the choices, good & bad, that we make without blaming it on someone else.
Good Luck and be gentle with your soul | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:53:14 PM | Leopard doesn't change it's spots, nor Tiger it's stripes. At least not spontaneously.
Ask any of the women here - who married a man who cheated on his (former) wife:
 "Has he also cheated on you?"
Don't be surprised at the very high percentage who say YES.
Leopard doesn't change it's spots, nor Tiger it's stripes. At least not spontaneously.
On the other hand... maybe you find that sort of behavior attractive? | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:22:39 AM | | That is exactly what she is-- and it's time you tell her that she played herself. You aren't attracted to charity cases and it's too bad she had to become one to recognize what you are. | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:20:09 AM | It's sounds to me as if with all the hormones kicking in, no home, no job and a baby about to drop, she is needing someone, ANYONE who will come to her rescue.
The truth is, none of this is your doing, and she needs to find another avenue, hopefully a productive legal one. She has many options and many charities that will help her.
You on the other hand, have just met a new lady, who you seem to be getting on with rather nicely, don't mess up a chance at a wonderfull new life , not for this girl.
Leopards don't change their spots, they just hide in the shadows and wait to strike again.
Take care and good luck Mary
 | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:51:15 AM | OP... this is exactly why I will not date anyone who has just broken up with someone. My last boyfriend had only broken up with a woman he loved a couple months before me. He SWORE to me he would never take her back, that she had her chance, and that he deserved better. So, I eventually opened my heart to him and let him in fully. Then, she called, wanted him back and guess what? He went on and on about how he made a mistake, should have waited for her, blah, blah, blah. It's been a few months, and they have since broken up. He made the wrong choice.
He broke my heart... and why? Because he didn't give himself enough time to get over her before he brought me into his life. It was unfair to me.
I've noticed that a lot of people truly believe getting "back on the horse" is the best way. From the perspective I'm looking at now... that is the worst thing to do.
The new woman in your life trusts you. She has opened her heart to you. And for a lying, cheating, uncaring woman, you would be willing to break her heart? You'd be making a huge mistake to go back to someone so untrustworthy when right in your own backyard you have someone who genuinely cares about you.
Sharzi | |
|
| She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:53:21 AM | You...
(regaining composure)
you deserve better than her. You can be weak and take her back and accept the chance that she'll cheat on you again or leave you again. You also take the chance that there will be no drama at all from the alternate guy she put in YOUR life by virtue of your choice to stay with her. And to get this potential misery what did you do? Love !??! Not a fair deal, Love for Misery.
like i said:
You deserve better than her. Bite your lips, deal with the heart ache, cut her off and continue with the new girl knowing she brings none of the drama of this drama queen. I say this from experience of having fallen for a girl that cheated on me, it only ended after I told her to f-ing leave me alone and cut her off. You have to be able to say that otherwise she'll use her power (your Love) over you to sidle her self into your situation.
Does new girl know about this drama with old girl? You either need to tell new girl what is going on NOW or cut old girl off NOW if you are to maintain a level of integrity in this situation as far as I can see.
Much success on your choice. | |
|
|
| Page 6 of 5
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
|
Home
login 
