|
|
|
|
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:51:21 PM | Really strange subject title for the thread, couldn't understand it exactly. Reading the thread and the actual post it seems clear. I can say that it seems that a bunch of us, myself included, actually aren't like the subject heading. I didn't date anyone from my ethnicity (1/2 Irish, 1/4 Danish, 1/4 mixed all the hell up) until my late twenties. I consistently dated outside my ethnicity and race (and I agree w/some posters that race, as a scientific reality is basically b.s. beyond some ethnically specific diseases like Taysachs (spelling?) etc) essentially for the same reason nearly everyone I dated was as a rule, smarter than me. By and large I wanted to get to know people w/fresh perspectives from different cultures, I wanted to get to know people that had different experiences and outlooks. You can accomplish this by dating from your own ethnicity as well, but at the time I think it was basically a product of being attracted to anything that seemed different, or could hopefully allow me to see something new, learn something new, grow a little, get a little bit less stupid, as the Stupidia talk implies. I found all of that exxceedingly attractive, and it hasn't been until recently that I've dated people who share a WASP background, or even my own particular background.
In the end, as others have implied, all of it is really nonsense, it simply comes down to being open to people who you can love, share, and grow with. Whether they are white and European, or Southeast Asian, or East Indian, or of African heritage, it really doesn't matter, a lovely soul, in the end is a lovely soul and that's what has come to matter most, although I'd be lying if I said that I completely outgrew my attraction to people outside my ethnicity, I just think that today I'm far more inclusive w/my own ethnicity cultural/faux-racial background as well. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:59:54 PM | This seems to be another topic of men are not allowed to have any preferences in women. That a man should accept any woman that is wants him.
This goes along with that a woman should be able to reject any man on any arbitrary standard she wishes because women can have preferences.
It's a tired and old topic. It really has nothing to do with race at all.
A good portion of it comes down to how men and women choose dates, especially in the online world. Women tend to have all sorts of arbitrary conditions and standards (especially in online dating) designed to filter down their choices down from a large number to a small one. Thusly, when men are rejecting a woman, she may think some arbitrary standard like race, height, bra size, or something is in play that doesn't allow her a chance. The feelings are pretty much the same as a guy gets when being filtered out. Thing is, men aren't really in the 'narrowing the field' business, at least not in the same way (online) as they aren't trying to find a few out of a hundred to concentrate on. It's not a summary dismissal for being outside a height range or something... It's just a net decision of 'yes' or 'no'.
The scope of looks within a 'race' or a 'nationality' is huge. There are large degrees of overlap. Physical attraction of a single person will trend towards certain traits but also have radical departures from that trend now and then. There are also physical attractions to women who have only a couple of the traits but have other features that make up for it. Then throw in personality, background, etc and it gets really complicated.
Most men will be deciding if they are interested in each woman the way women judge the handful of 'finalists' that for whatever reason get past the filtering.
Let me put it this way... in the online world women start with 100 and filter down to 6. Men start with 6. | |
|
| |
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/19/2008 2:06:08 PM | ain't no one taking notice me thinks
 someone new today and make this world a little friendlier.
oh sorry back to the post
,
I met my beautiful, wonderful, caring, loving, wonderful (did I say that already) babe not here but on interracial cupid dot com. but the forums here are far more entertaining so thats why I'm still around 
also, everytime I went on IRC it crashed my computer
.
I do wish people would a. stop taking generalised comments personally
and b. people would stop making sweeping statements about entire groups of people.
I'd also suggest that even if it is racist or fattist or disablist or anything else ist, if someone don't wanna date you because of your weight, size, colour or whatever than move on. whats the point of arguing about it, who in their right mind wants to date let alone marry someone who doesn't unconditionally accept them as they are. After all, before finding my princess, I had to accept that 85% of the women I expressed an interest in didn't like me and my hairy back, face and legs. Did I gripe about their hairism? no. Did I accuse any of them of racism because they weren't interested in me, a white guy? no. ( I wasn't looking exclusively for non caucasian women - I was a member of BBW cupid as well ) I kept on looking. People make judgements about others all the time. Even caucasians who exclusively date other caucasians will deselect at least 50% of people contacting them because of their occupation or dress sense or drinking habits or family situation or teeth or something. Just get over it.
.
so everyone turn to the person nearest you; whether male or female, straight or gay, black or white, short or tall and hug them.
| |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/19/2008 2:30:02 PM |
This is why I believe a black man will never be prez as long as 50.1% of americans are racist.
Don't you mean 50.1% of non-black people? I don't see black people being racist against their own kind. And they make up a large portion of this country's population. The problem is that many of them do not vote. Particularly the black youth. If more of them would actually register and go out and vote, I believe we would have had a black president a long time ago. | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:18:11 PM | So I'm wondering who makes up that 50.1%? As a whole according to the last cencus minorities make up a third of the population. And assuming that only white people are part of that 50.1% that means only 16% are non racist. And I'm guessing some readers think all of them reside on the coasts. And all of us middle americans are just dumb hicks that hate everyone thats not like us. Well in my state we frankly could care less what race you are. We've had a mexican governor, a black governor, and currently a mexican senator. The secretary of state is a black woman. Thats the person that repersents us globally to other heads of state. A black man is about to get the democratic nomination, in my state btw.
I think this country has came considerably further then some would like to think. Now while we haven't had a black president think about this. We haven't had a jewish, latin or asian president either. And this is the first time someone that wasn't of a christian faith had a serious shot at being the president, can you say Mitt Romney the Mormon Governor of Mass. The U.S. is still a young country. We have had less then 50 presidents. I have every confidence that we will have someone of all of these backgrounds in my lifetime. | |
|
| |
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:18:11 AM | Anyone who is disguisedly or undisguidedly bypassing a person purely on dark skin, is bigoted... no matter how prettily this is represented. FACT.
Over the years, these colour melts will slowly one hopes erode so that actually it is no longer an obvious standard and that such surface shallowness is impossible, if we look with the heart of a child, and not the media brainwashing, that light and thin is the kitemark.
Of course when we are all shades of bark... walnut, beech, jabuto, mahogany, ebony, bamboo.... Then of course we will find the specific shade-bigots slide in, with their designer Pantone ® color formulae charts.
Anyone, only interested in thin people is also missing out probably on a best friend or even possibly soulmate.
I thank God for great parenting and an internal gift of the Gods - that I have never based my own love or attraction to others based on purely surface considerations. Thankfully, it has meant that my life is enriched by my best friend Robin who is ebony, and simply I hero - worship him, and like Soloman his beauty is immeasurable, and other individuals that are every size imaginable and who I find are with loving partners that are like me, not limiting my own choices by some internal selection process that leaves it only possible for me to be surrounded by 2-dimensional people.
This is a fantastic posting because we are quickly discovering what people won't put on their profiles exhibited here....
Note to God: please let's hope none of them are firemen, because they might bypass the 'fat-black', 'chubby-chinese', 'rolly-polly-Indian'... and just pick up the skinny blonde... hell with the rest of us! Note to myself: to attract the shallow, do not get overweight, and stay out of the sun! | |
|
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:59:24 AM | Posted By: rock_hunter
Yawn. I suppose you can find some nobody-should-have-standards-except-by-me, men-should-love-fat-ugly-women, men-should-do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do girl anywhere.
However, I've never seen one of them dating a short, bald, paunchy old man who is in the dole. I suppose "shallow" means "not attracted to me" in their little world.
HEY!
Good point!
I've still got my hair... and I'm not fat...
Why aren't they lining up outside my door?
 | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:02:22 PM | After I read this sentence, I found myself looking at a chip book just out of curiosity to see what color I would most closely match. Not that I would ever hope that I could fall into the bigot category, but the possibly of matching Pantone chips to skin color fascinated me:
Of course when we are all shades of bark... walnut, beech, jabuto, mahogany, ebony, bamboo.... Then of course we will find the specific shade-bigots slide in, with their designer Pantone ® color formulae charts.
Thanks, Sphinx! You gave me something fun to do at work earlier today. Just didn't remember to post it until now. I'd say I'm close to an 80% screen of PMS162C. That's before I burn for the first time this summer. As long as I don't turn into a 485, I think I'll be alright. Heehee.
Back to the original topic... OP, It's a complete Catch-22 when it comes to posting preferences. If you do post them, people might call you picky or shallow. I admit I'd like to know someone's preferences before I message them as well, but sometimes it's all about just taking a chance anyway.
*** ducks back out of Ask A Guy. *** | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:39:01 PM | personally, I like the female species and they are my cup of tea. LOL But you have to have something interesting enough, for me to find you worth talking to and meeting.
I do not know why both men and women have preferences when it comes to ethnic background. I have seen women on here have things like
" It is my preference, but i only like white and asian guys. Not my fault!! "
and at the end of their profiles, and sometimes in the beginning, they have how open minded they are.
LOL
it is a a laugh, and I enjoy reading these kinds of profiles. | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:00:30 PM | I'm as indiscriminate as an atom bomb. When I'm single, anyways. If you've got 2X chromosomes and lack any Y chromosomes, line up. Short, Fat, Tall, Thin, White, Black, Red, Yellow, Pink, Blue and Green... I'll take you all on. 
Looking at TV shows, what first pops into my head is Grey's Anatomy... from that show I'd date Dr. Torres and Dr. Bailey (Sara Ramirez (Latina) and Chandra Wilson (black)). Because they're attractive in form and attitude. The rest of the women on cast (including the much-lusted-after Katherine Heigl) are generally too scrawny, whiny, insecure or b!tchy for my tastes.
But honestly... attraction is the one area I think racism is acceptable and even normal. Whether it's "I'd love to date (race) but my parents would disown me," or even a straight up, honest "(race) people aren't attractive to me." Speaking out against this isn't going to change things. If someone feels that anyone of any race can have the same skills and attributes important for a profession (eg, Police, Doctor, Mechanic, whatever) and isn't going to judge... I really don't care what they are personally attracted to. | |
|
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:32:07 AM |
Not a fan of dark meat.
1. Hey that's NO loss. I don't find you at all attractive either. I also don't care for your sexist way of expressing yourself.
2. At least you're honest about it and not spouting platitudes about being open.
The bottom line is that while, it's not a very progressive way of approaching the world, people have a right to their racial prejudices as long as they don't display them in a way that breaks the law. Lying and saying you're open when you're not or trying to pass it off as "personal preference" is just plain dishonest. People who do this are just trying to escape the consequences of their prejudices and quite frankly it's cowardly. | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:41:14 AM |
The bottom line is that while, it's not a very progressive way of approaching the world, people have a right to their racial prejudices as long as they don't display them in a way that breaks the law. Lying and saying you're open when you're not or trying to pass it off as "personal preference" is just plain dishonest. People who do this are just trying to escape the consequences of their prejudices and quite frankly it's cowardly.
Ok. So, it's ok to have racial preferences. It's ok display them in a way that doesn't break the law. But displaying them in a way that doesn't break the law is cowardly. Because they should display them in a way that breaks the law, so they can be punished by their prejudices.
So, they're cowards because they're not breaking the law.
How do these weasels dare to think that they shouldn't go to jail by not liking you? | |
|
| |
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:00:16 AM | | There is a difference between not being attracted to a certain race and not dating a certain race due to false stereotypes and generalizations based on limited experiences. Regardless of what you look like, there are always going to be some people who aren't attracted to you. I'm generally not attracted to Asian women although there are some exceptions to that. That doesn't make me racist. | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:21:24 PM |
Yawn. I suppose you can find some nobody-should-have-standards-except-by-me, men-should-love-fat-ugly-women, men-should-do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do girl anywhere.
However, I've never seen one of them dating a short, bald, paunchy old man who is in the dole. I suppose "shallow" means "not attracted to me" in their little world.
Weird, weird.
Don't you love double standards?
Great post, man. | |
|
| why do most white guy, there open 2 race,but if your not white or latina then there not interested??
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:16:27 PM |
There is a difference between not being attracted to a certain race and not dating a certain race due to false stereotypes and generalizations based on limited experiences.
No there isn't.
Regardless of what you look like, there are always going to be some people who aren't attracted to you.
Correct......there will always be people who won't be attracted to certain INDIVIDUALS WHO THEY HAVE MET! This is not the same thing as automatically ruling out a whole group of before you have even MET individuals.
I'm generally not attracted to Asian women although there are some exceptions to that. That doesn't make me racist.
Yes it does. Why are you afraid to admit it? | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
Yeah 
