| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 12:10:24 PM | You're not kidding it's not fair, JLWTV. But what is?
I can write a sincere introductory email to a new POF contact and get nothing in return. Silence. Inbox nada. Frustrating.
I can do the same verbally with an IJL date and get an immediate response.
There's some immediate gratification, at least. Some common decency.
A little politeness. Two hours later it could be all over, never to see
each other again. Is this fair? What is?
At least we shared pleasantries and got to know each other slightly.
This happens more (for me) through IJL than it does POF. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:21:31 PM |
I was thinking of starting a dating agency called: "It's just F'd up". I'd charge $20 a member to meet their lunch date at a street side burrito stand. They'd each get a burrito and a Coke. They could rant for 30 minutes about all their other dates then go back to work.
I like it! | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:36:25 PM | Face it. The reality is that many POFers arn't lonely, or desperate!
They're just signed up so that maybe, that one that just knocks their
socks off, shows up some day! Makes perfect sense to me!
And yes. Beware the Professional Dater! "Likes fine dining and wine"!
I say, take those to the Skillet Restaurant in Zellers for the advertised
special! 
They should be so lucky! | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:48:39 PM |
Anyway, after they called me repeatedly, I finally agreed to meet with a consultant. It was a quick desicion for me NOT to sign up after I found out the price! What was it... something like $1400 for 12 dates?!!! Or $1600? Good god! On top of being expected to pay for meals, and not have any sort of guarantee.
Great Expectations does the same thing to you. Evil and pushy.
drnanjo (nancy) | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:39:32 PM | Yes, in St Louis. The year of monthly lunches was a gift from a friend to help me get out again. It was a good way to get over the 'rejection syndrome'. After the first few, I learned to relax and just learn to make small talk and try to sell myself without a lot of pressure. (like practicing for a job interview)But when you go to lunch expecting it to be 'just lunch' , there weren't any good matches either. I basically just learned not to make any expectations when I met someone. I think somehow that takes the spark out of meeting someone special. I moved before using my last lunch, any takers?
As for the free lunch, I always offered to pay for my own. One date was so bad I paid for his too just to get out of there! (He reminded me of my ex mother-in-law!) | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:06:52 PM | | Anyway, I'm sure it was expensive, but I DID feel safe and MOST of the men were educated, clean and polite. It was a good experience for me and helped me get over my shyness and fear of rejection. Now I know I am just as much of a treasure as anyone else. (Even if I get 200 POF lookers and no messages!) | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:49:21 AM | You know op,
I think the problem is that it's just about meeting someone over lunch. (Which I've done for work, so it feels too much like work...same with coffee dates).
The best get together (even though it wasn't a dating situation) was when a group of like minded people got together (in this case, poets, artists, musicians) and were encouraged to share 1 piece with the group. Then mingled and got to know each other.
You left with a sense of fun and peace. It was the most memorable experience I've ever had.
But during a meat market. It's check out and be checked out and oh! Got to get back to work...busy, busy, busy! NEXT!
I've also been to a singles dance/xmas event. No intelligent conversation, no bonding, it was see and be seen.
Same with speed dating, I'm sure. I haven't tried speed dating but have tried speed business networking. Not for me.
Personally, I don't like these experiences. We have to get past the superficial and get into common interests.
And as for spending $1400 for lunch dates. You can do the same for no cost by getting local POFs or Craigs list community in your town and organize a" singles who love dogs" picnic at the local park, Single artists at the local museum, Singles who love chinese food at your local china town restaurant...
Then you have 3 things happening. Something in common right off the bat to share...potential local friends with something in common who may know someone for you to meet, and potential dates.
Good Luck
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:29:33 PM | | Dating is not easy and at least on POF you can join in the meet and greets that they have in your area. You only pay for yourself at these functions so you can have fun and possibly meet someone. You never know when you might find someone who is a match. Another thing at least it wont break the bank going to them, $1000 or more for 12 dates is way too much money. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:35:23 PM |
Whatever happened to the idea of a relationship
developing over time?
Haha i've gone out with guys just once, and then usually never again, but it's more on their end then mine. I like things developing over time, but guys I meet usually don't have time to spend to get to know me, it's like NOW OR NEVER, or something. I'm a slow moving gal, and one guy actually said I was a "turtle" like wtf. I don't move from guy to guy to guy to guy lol I like to meet one, and get to know him, and be with that 1 person. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:48:28 PM | Hey - OP, I am the other side of your lunch dates.
All I get offered is coffee and they moan about all the women they have taken to lunch (I did once fall asleep while he moaned on and on about his previous date) then I wonder off.
To every Ying there is a Yang 
EDIT: The problem with meeting for lunch - it is taken as "you are not nice enough to take out for the evening - but I will give you a look at me over lunch" sort of thing! lunch is not a date, its a MEET.
Coffee Meets are the same, not good enough to be taken anywhere nice, any old cafe will do, lets the woman know what the man thinks of her from the get go, Coffee Meets = not serious. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:06:33 PM | | it is supposed to be pretty good but i think you have to a few up front and then a mothly fee and why don't you put in the WORDS OF SPEED DATING AND IT TELL YOU WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO BE. THINK YOU SIT DOWN AND TALK TO PEOPLE FOR 8 MINUTES. SO TRY THIS OUT AND I THINK JUST LUNCH IS A GREAT SERVICE | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:10:28 PM | hi there coaster  xx yes lol i do a great lunch date ??? you pay and i will eat it  or go dutch ??? prefer spanish  lol chris X MWAH X xxx   XXX  | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:11:00 PM |
Sounds like we could indeed use a little healthy competition in this biz. They could take their motto from an old Eno song: "We can make you weep more cheaply"...
I agree! I think that their fee is ridiculously high because there's no competition. Hehehehe, I haven't wept ... yet. But, I'll keep ya all posted.
The problem with meeting for lunch - it is taken as "you are not nice enough to take out for the evening - but I will give you a look at me over lunch" sort of thing! lunch is not a date, its a MEET.
Actually, most of the dates I've had with IJL were dinner dates. And, every one of the men eagerly offered to pay the entire bill, despite the IJL policy of splitting the tab. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:26:27 PM | Mizzi,
I didn't count, but, yeah, I've probably met 20-30 people off the internet in about a year and a half.  Stopped for a while when I met a guy a sort of liked then that never turned into anything but friends, so, back on the internet and a dozen guys later I found another nice one.
"Dating" is pretty much BS, but just talking to people you wouldn't otherwise ever meet is interesting in its own right, isn't it? Even when I know in 2 seconds they're not "the one," why not sit and commiserate, or shoot the breeze, hear how they dropped out of the English PhD program to be financial advisors and don't like it and so forth, or which neighborhood has the most space for the cheapest rent. I found out alot about my city that way, unintentionally.
(But yeah, a true lady always pays her own way when she goes to the dating misery show, it's worth the price of admission). | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:29:47 PM | | Everytime I think I am worldly I brick slaps me in the face! When I was a 21 year old single mom and I answered a newspaper ad that turned out to be a massage parlor. Happy endings make more money. When I started internet dating and I admit to visiting Adult Friend Finders and Sugar Daddies. Those were the days. Have I missed something profitable while I am wasting my time "dating?" | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 2:16:42 PM | I had a friend that worked for that outfit. According to her , there was gross misrepresentation about thier members.
She was told to set a date with two people the Supervisor picked. She didn't think they were a match, and didn't want to make the calls.
Well, long story short, they didn't tell the girl that the guy had no arms. They said it was the same as having a heart condition, you wouldn't tell a date about that would you? Sigh. Uh, I think there is a difference.
The guy may have been a great guy, but I think the girl had a right to know this before arriving. I think IJL has fewer members than they claim and just try to fix you up with SOMEONE to fulfill the contract. Just my opinion though.. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:33:59 PM |
... a true lady always pays her own way ...
Oh, no!!! I've been called out on my unladylike ways. I s'pose I should've dropped each of the guys to the floor and wrestled their credit cards from their clenched fists. THAT would have shown 'em my graceful, ladylike side. All I was saying was that each man I had the pleasure of meeting with via IJL offered to pay for the drinks/appetizers/dinner (whichever we had), despite my sincere offer to do so. I try not to overanalyze these dating rituals, so I can only surmise that it was because they wanted to.
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:22:23 PM | And yet here I am scratching my head wondering why another honest and sincere online POF inquiry into a woman living in my town gets the "you best be on your way" treatment. Genuine men just don't translate online. It's as if all the men before me were hitting on her and then I come along and ask about her professional life then get accused of "feigning interest."
I bet if she and I met through IJL the conversation would be quite different. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:04:32 PM | Odd.
I always felt that I wasn't as cool online as I am in person. Now, I don't feel so bad.
Springboard, maybe it's just your age bracket. Women my age are still naive. I'll take advantage of that while I can:D
Women are like dogs...only they smell confidence instead of fear, and it really doesn't sound like you have any. I maybe way off base, but keep it simple...unless you have something funny.
I could by a whole bunch of booze and a blowup doll for $1400...women aren't THAT important to ME | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:26:18 PM | I personally have never tried IJL or any other of those paid dating services but I have several friends that have tried them and they are very dissatified.
One friend is almost at the end of his 12 months with IJL and he said most of the dates they set up for him don't even show up or if they do, he never hears from them again. He also said that besides the intial fee involved it is pricey because they choose the place you meet and it is usually a pricey resturant. Although the deal is that both parties are suppose to split the bill he usually pays because he doesn't feel it is right for his date to pay.
I have a female friend that is signed up with another service (can't remember the name) and she pays quite a large monthly fee but rarely gets matches for dates. And when she does they don't meet any of the criteria she put on her paperwork as far as matches go. Her latest experience being matched with someone almost 20 years older then her.
So for those that say the women that go on these dates just for the meals... seriously... to be involved they also are paying for the service as well and I would hate to think they are that dense to put up 1400 up front just to go out for a few meals.
Truthfully you can get the above results for free or a lessor fee on any online dating site. So why pay $1400 a year? Seriously.
If you are really serious about finding someone then just get involved in other activites. Do an online search for singles groups in your area or even just groups that meet regarding interests you may have. Wine tasting, book clubs ect. Just get out and maybe you will meet someone "by accident" that finds you just as interesting as you find them. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/25/2008 11:24:29 PM | No-- absolutely NOT. When they told me how much it cost I told them to get lost! lol
I did try Together Dating Service in Harrisburg, but I NEVER got any good matches at all... | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:35:20 AM | | i have known a few people to use them, run, and run fast, they are just high priced used car sales people, they take your money and give you a used pinto with no rocker panels..someone should sue their butts off | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:56:27 AM | I know a woman who dates guys just for free meals and moves on to the next guy. She has no intention of getting to know someone.
yeah and i know a lot of men who date just to have sex with a woman or at least try to on the first date, then move on to the next woman. | |
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| Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:58:23 AM | My self-confidence is in tact, NitroJunkie.
My confidence with online dating is not.
I just can't grasp the idea of determing chemistry via email.
How we describe ourselves in writing is not the same in person.
I read her profile. It says "Don't send winks. Write me."
So I do. Then I get "Viewed" in return. No email.
Online dating is a woman's market. She determines the next step. | |
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