| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:55:47 AM | Here is a quote from the Wikipedia
"Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity."
Also ....
"Traditional dating activities include sharing entertainment or a meal. In general, a person may date many different partners during the same time period in order to have the best chance of finding their most suitable available mate."
So there you have it. I think there has to be agreement and understanding between people who are truly dating if they will engage in any form of intimacy or affection and then weather or not they are free to date others. Unlike most guys around this site that just want sex as posted up earlier, I would like to DATE a few ladies and find one I could be intimate with and stay with that one person without dating others.....thus I would be in a RELATIONSHIP and not free to DATE another unless my relationship ended. Oh yes and during the relationship phase I would think it proper not to continue to advertise on a website date site that one is still looking to date.   | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:12:45 AM |
I have recently had an experience of meeting a guy on this site who seemed absolutely wonderful but the word "dating" was constantly used. It only lasted 3 weeks and I think the fact that I really liked him scared him off
This wonderful guy was scared off because you liked him?
Not likely.
It would have been something you did or said that scared him off -- or turned him off -- not something you felt.
As far as dating vs. long term, etc. I would pay attention to what they say in their profile or after you meet. If you have a question, ask and don't try to assume. Obviously, from this thread people have varied answers and none of them matter as much as the person in question. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:49:29 AM | | What a fascinating thread ! As an import to the US, I've been particularly interested to find out exactly what the word "dating" really means in contemporary parliance... Imagine my dismay in reading these posts only to realize it does actually mean all things to all people.... The Wikipedia definition is seems reasonable, but it's only one. I looked it up on www.urbandictionary.com as well, many more funny definitions there ! I think the OP has more to do with what to put on, or how to interperate a POF profile: Check-box answers and pull-down replies never tell the whole story. If you really want to set limits or define expectations prior to meeting someone, then talk about it first ! Otherwise be prepared for any eventuality !..... | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:08:54 AM | Short term dating / Dating, to me would be either one or two things.
First off being for people who just want to date with out expectations and have the what ever happens, happens approach. In short, no long term goals for what ever reason.
Secondly it could be for people who just want that 3 month period of "falling in love" and when that is done so are they. Time to find the next person and do it all over again.
Long Term Dating would be people who just want to date with the expectations of finding some one who has gotten to the point in there life that they are ready to settle down. While they still enjoy the 3 month rush, they want some one they can build loyalty and trust with. (along with other traits)
As far as defining Dating: The time you spend with a person getting to know them. Also before the end of the "3 month period". When the initial emotions and newness burns off, and if you still like being together and choose to be with them. Than your in a relationship. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:10:21 AM | | Dating means that he takes you out to nice places and you keep him entertained. Then if you both 'click' you fall in love, have sex and become boyfriend and girlfriend. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:13:25 AM | Dating means going on dates. That means agreeing to meet for an activity on a certain "date" and time. Hence the name.
If those dates involve a dude inviting a woman out to a nice place, she "entertains" him, that's a subset of dates. Dates can mean meeting for a coffee at the shopping mall. Maybe meeting at the park for an ice cream. Be creative and imaginative.
Dating often leads to relationships; often it doesn't; it's best not to assume exclusivity or that you have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" until you had "the talk". | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:17:17 AM | | I think "dating" for most guys means sex with no strings attached. I think for women, it means dinner and a movie with no sex attached. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:58:42 AM | | I think "dating" for most guys means "let's hang out, see if there's any connection". I think for women, it means "let's hang out, see if there's any connection". | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:35:57 AM | | Wow, its so interesting to read what everyone thinks it is - SomeonesX - you cracked me up with your definition of it! Thanks to everyone who replied, there was a lot of sense in all the answers (bar the Draconian!!). I think communication at the earliest stage is key although I do think the word is a great way to hide from commitment also. Oh well ... some day .... | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:40:48 AM | ^^^ Glad you found it amusing...unfortunately, there is more truth in what I wrote than just humor...
As you said communicate with the person and ask them what their DEFINITION is of what-ever label they indicated and remember you have to talk to a lot of frogs before you get to kiss your prince- | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:04:52 PM | | ^^^ So to para-phrase "all men are simply out to have NSA sex and want no part in an emotional connection": Friends, hang-out, dating, long-term.... it's all the same? Jeez ! More than compassion for anyone who feels so jaded by such dreadful dating experiences, I feel a bit irked at being tarred with the same broad-brush negative generality. Why is it so hard for people to admit the slightest possibility that not 100% of the online male population is looking for a quick leg-over? | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:15:09 PM | Checkinearly^^^^I never said all men...unfortunately the greater majority I've met using this site and others...and yes, it's very sad..if I were truly "jaded"and thought 100% of the men were this way I'd have long ago removed my profile and stopped attempting to meet a man...what I originally posted was really just me being a smart-azz.
I'd love to meet a man that is honestly looking for an emotional connection in addition to some knock your socks off physical connection, know of any man you can send my way??? | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:22:37 PM | Not much sense in this thread. What a shock!
OPie, you ask the wrong question. As you can see in these responses, 'dating' doesn't mean any one thing to everyone. It is certainly more than waving and less than moving in together, but that's a lot of territory. It's just silly to expect the rest of humanity to pick one activity, one intention, and say 'only this is dating.'
Besides, that's not really what you want to know, is it? Don't you really want to know how to make an acquaintance last longer than the one you mention? I mean, you don't really care what you call it, do you? Just so he sticks around longer?
I know there is a chance that you want him to stick around for a very specific length of time - until death, perhaps? I'm just wondering, once you decided you "liked" Gomer, did you begin to feel anxious? Did you begin to imagine settling down with him, and did you begin to worry about when and how that escalation would happen?
Maybe that isn't you at all, but you gave us a big clue that it is. Anyway, what you really ought to do is decide for yourself what you want to do and then do that. If the next guy is into it, great! If he isn't, great! Do what you want, he'll do what he wants, and it'll be a lot easier to recognize the one who agrees with you.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:18:52 PM | | Dating has nothing to do with sex. Dating is when two people spend time together getting to know each other through various activities. When you have sex, you are either in a relationship or just having no strings sex, no longer just dating. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 1:28:11 PM | Considering Pof as a starting point, dating for me would mean to step out in the fresh air and meet the man in question in f l e s h and see all the nuances in real motions.  Whether face to face meeting would end up over a drink or there would be a subsequent follow up ... next day or a few days later ... dating would be still on cards. Would be ~ could be a relationship down the line? All is possible; never say never | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:12:00 PM | IMO dating means dating--enjoying each other's company..having fun ..and to some men or women if both of you clicked will lead into **bleep**..no commitments involved.Most men exactly knows what they want and what they are looking for.When they said they are only looking for "dating " believe what they say.They have no plans for a serious relationship and no, i disagree to one post here that putting in your profile the word" Long Term Relationship" will scared some men away.
For me, LTR that doesnt mean "marriage"I put LTR in my profile because i just dont want a "hang out" or just until dating...then what? wasting my time, makes me wonder where is the relationship goes?I just want "into a relationship" and see where the relationship goes if that would lead into marriage IF not at least I tried my very best it just happened that it didnt work out between me and the man ive been with as a boyfriend.
At our age(mature daters) "just dating" is a polite ways to tell the opposite sex that im not really into you. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:21:09 AM | | i'm still totally baffled by dating damn i think i'm gonna stop dating its too confusing....after 3 wks of whatever dating is i need to know where things are going or else i'm totally confused about the whole thing | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:33:03 AM | I agree with X-rayGirl, "dating means dating--enjoying each other's company..having fun .." simply put "seeing if a connection formed online is still there in person", more you can't read into it.
At our age(mature daters) "just dating" is a polite ways to tell the opposite sex that im not really into you. I guess if "just dating" goes on for months, particularly for people "our" age, I'd hope social niceties would be replaced by a more frank and honest talk about where things were headed... Does anyone here feel the term "dating" implies or requires an exclusivity? | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:47:53 AM |
Does anyone here feel the term "dating" implies or requires an exclusivity?
Well, I used to have a friend whose mobile phone was constantly ringing - inundated with potential dates and yes, she did trot in every open avenue in search for the one. That time I wondered how could she keep her head round meeting so many men in such a short space of time.
This scenario didn't and doesn't appeal to me. Whenever I was dating there was only one man at a time and it took some time to actually find out if there was more to it than just a first visual chemistry.
Hmmm ... to each their own.  | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:01:20 AM | | The terminology on here is used different for each individual. Each person has their own perception on what they think it means. For instance, my profile says friends. In my mind, I have no expectations of this site other than meeting new friends, not saying I wouldn't like more in the long run. I know I want friends first and see where it goes from there. Dating could mean they are putting themselves out there to see what there is or they are just trying to find someone to fill up time they have on their hands till they meet the one they want to spend all their time with. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:22:40 PM | | Yup! Can completely adopt x-rayTechGirls statement as well as Mystic4evers... That's how I understand that too. | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:58:17 AM | Mystic and Dreamer prove my (and Mystic's) point, by representing the bookends, the extremes of different intentions here. In fact, they illustrate a difference in character that is far more useful to understand than any word's definition.
Mystic values dating for its own sake; it's an opportunity to meet people, get out, and have some fun, period. She recognizes that she might make a more profound connection, but she is not dating as a means to that end. She is dating to date. Dreamer, otoh, is on a mission. Dreamer dates strictly to discover whether that profounder bond is in the cards. For Dreamer, dating's value is as a means to the end she seeks. For Mystic, dating is the end in itself.
That difference is great enough that it must be obvious to everyone. There is another difference that Mystic also illumines, a difference in how and why people click different options in their profile. I haven't looked, but I'll bet Dreamer selected LTR as her objective. Mystic selected Friends. But, as Mystic so plainly says, she wants Friends as a starting point, where Dreamer wants an LTR as her final objective. This just goes to show that people don't especially mean what you think they mean when they click on something. You have to actually meet them and talk to them before you will know whether Mystic, for instance, refuses to go past friendship, or whether Dreamer would go for an Intermediate Term Relationship while she looks for long term.
It creeps me all the way out, frankly, that so many people grouse about what others click on. Their complaint is that people don't mean by their click what one assumes they mean. They complain that their disappointed assumptions prove deception. They are wrong. They simply want to skip the part where they meet a variety of people other than those they might click with. Boo fvcking hoo! Meeting people is the only way to know if you click. Remember, even you don't know everything about yourself. Nor can you describe what you do know with perfect clarity. And, even if you knew it all and could say it all, no one would ever know if they cared for you until they meet you.. Would they? Are you really summed up inyour puny profile?
Cranky!
Vulf | |
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| What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:14:29 AM | RR.
heres my experience to one guy about his "dating "term.
we liked each other a lot the connection was strong--we both clicked ---at the beginning he said"lets go with the flow, if it happes it happens" so i said sure...so weve dated for 3 months..we had so much fun together drinking beer and watch hockey(we both crazy about hockey).until one night..he wanted to sleep with me....i liked him too BUT i didnt know where i stand in the relationship--though we liked each other a LOT i havent seen on him that he wanted the relationship into the next level--for 3 months he didnt say anything, he hardly phone me if he did all weve talked about was sex how he wanted me so badly.Anyways to make the story short--i DID NOT sleep with him...he was frustrated the next day he disappeared--i let him disappearred --i didnt contact him after 3 months the mystery of disappearing man was solved.he showed up
We talked about the disappearance and why i didnt sleep with him--i said"well you said we were only dating and lets go with the flow BUT that it doesnt mean a free*bleep*
ive told him im not into a "**bleep buddy** for me that applied only for young people.
So we started to date again--and for the second time--he wanted to bang me again and for the second time--i DID NOT let him...and for the second time--he disappeared again and this time --ive emailed him telling him"lets STOP this".
ive lost my respect on him.
i walked away with my dignity intact--to us women here ---we should know how to play our cards in the dating world.Watch men how they play the game and go from there.
I was hurt but ive learned alot from that dating experienced it made me wiser. | |
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