| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:01:04 AM | People who belive in what's written in Women's magazines... or what they see in porn movies etc.... Are the same damn people who are gullible enough to believe in genuine 'Replica' watches or 'enhancement' creams being sold on the Internet.
I had a couple of FMF experiences years ago. You know what????
They never touched, kissed or did anything with each other.... So even with the opportunity and the booze (and believe me, there was a LOT of booze involved) there was no contact, no touchy-feely....
So not all women are bi-curious or lesbians or whatever....
Granted some are, but not all! | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:12:38 AM | Everything I want to do after three drinks is the same thing I wanted to do before I had three drinks. So no.
However....... I love all my girlfriends SO much, that if I were a man, I'd be a polygamist. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:25:47 AM | I don't think it's true of all women.
Everyone in life wears a "mask". It's our presentation to the world about how we want it to perceive us when we are not behind closed doors.
Alcohol is one of the few factors that causes some people to lose their mask. Unfortunately everyone reacts to alcohol differently. Some people get drunk and reveal their true selves and maybe they are gay. Some people just put on another mask on top of the existing one and maybe they just like the attention.
Maybe the fair answer is most people, men and women alike, have probably taken a moment to wonder what it would be like to be homosexual. I know I have given it some brief thought from time to time. You would think same sex partnerships would be more prone for success since you no longer have the male/female dynamic which is so confusing.
But it's not true. I've found that gay men, most of them cheat like crazy. Most are also very dramatic and high maintenance. And I've found that gay women have the same problems as all women - we can barely get along with one another most of the time.
There is no "mystique" about being a lesbian. Dealing with most women is a pain in the ass. You won't have to travel far to find women out there who only want male friends ( and that's rarely possible, talk about a lonely life....) so they can finally get some peace and quiet. I guess this is something most women will rarely admit to in public.
More drama and headaches so I can double my wardrobe?
Yeah, no thanks. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:00:54 AM | Maybe in Cali lesbians look like the gals on the" L Word", in my area they're flannel wearing stand in's for Aileen Wournos.....nah, think I'll pass on that.......
Since I'm not even attracted to men in that range...... | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:06:48 AM | I think girls are pretty. I can find most of them beautiful in some way. I know who I'd be attracted to if I was into girls.
But that's where it ends. Once I hit puberty, I never kissed or touched another woman in a sexual way. I simply don't have the desire to touch anyone else's breasts, let alone other body parts. I can't guarantee that I'll never ever ever kiss a girl again, but if I did, it would just be to treat a boyfriend or something. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:09:07 AM |
in my area they're flannel wearing stand in's for Aileen Wournos
Actually, you make a good point. A lot of these guys think that if their woman is Bi in any way that she will be bringing home hotties. In fact, there's probably a bigger chance that the woman she's with, may look like a truck driver... I've met lesbians that were more macho than a lot of my buddies... | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 11:58:52 AM | | I might have a different experience but myself, most of my girlfriends and a lot of women I happened to have discussed the subject with either had lesbian experiences or were fantasizing about it. Im not saying ALL but I most girls I know admitt they are sometimes attracted to women, although it does not necessarily mean that they'll do anything sexual with another woman; but the thought is there... Might be because I mainly know people in their 20s who are living in big cities that I come across more women interested in other women. I dont know but in my experience, its very common. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:10:07 PM |
Few of us sit down with a group of our female friends and sit quietly doing shots, biding our time until we can all grab each other's boobies.
HAHAHAHAHA Too f'n funny!! And very true... i'd say making out and fondling with each other is the last thing on my girls and my mind when were having some drinks together.
I'm as bored with this question as I am with girls who make out with their friends 'cause they're bored and a boy might be looking.
BINGO!!!! Many of these girlies aren't doing it because they want to experience sexual things with the same sex... it's because they want the attention from the guys.
I'm sure it's crossed many women's mind what it would be like to have a sexual experience with another woman but for many to act on it, is a different story.
I think those who aren't doing for the attention of guys, more than likely would be doing it in private. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:48:24 PM | Ladies, Ladies... the OP is talking about the lesbian MYSTIQUE, not the butch reality. He doesn't want to envision a Lillith Fair, complete with plaid flannel and berkenstalks.
Don't burst this male fantacy bubble.
Yes, OP! Why do you think we go to the ladies room in pairs or *gasp* groups?
It's going on right under your nose, every night. And just so you know, there is no such thing as Tupperware, Avon or (and this is the best cover ever) candle parties - they are a front. We frolic in nighties and have pillow fights while flinging back our hair, fetchingly. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:55:48 PM | Any woman that tells you she was only with another woman due to drunkenness is a bald-faced liar.
No amount of booze can make you attracted to a GENDER you aren't normally attracted to or curious about. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:25:56 PM | | Then there are the Trendsbians who do it just for attention , poster children for the low self esteem crowd | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:26:30 PM | Actually, hausfrau, there was a good discussion there until you had to throw in the sarcasm. Obviously, there is a male fascination with it, supported by the porn industry, that has slipped into popular culture - which might have something to do with the fact that most of the people making the executive decisions are male. But, it does give an impression of it being extensive. Fact or fad? I think we have our answers here.
Actually, I've known a few gay people both male and female so don't have any "mystique" impressions of them. Regular people with their own lives, challenges , relationships and triumphs. I think, however, the point about the Internet generation is well taken. It's too bad young women are being made to feel they have to compromise their dignity for male attention, in this way. But who's to blame for that?
As for the "flannel wearing lesbian reality" comment, hmm, sounds a little like a generalization to me. Known of a few in real life who were, from a male perspective, heart-breakingly gorgeous. Such is the tapestry of life.
Seems a little deeper question than a simply salacious male fantasy, don't you think? | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 4:36:35 PM |
It's too bad young women are being made to feel they have to compromise their dignity for male attention, in this way.
It is too bad they feel the need to do compromise their dignity in ANY way.
I don't have any "mystique" impressions of them.
You titled this post, not me.
Seems a little deeper question than a simply salacious male fantasy, don't you think?
Really? My bad.
What was your question? | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:05:02 PM | "It is too bad they feel the need to do compromise their dignity in ANY way."
You're right, of course.
"You titled this post, not me."
Agreed. In hindsight, a bad choice of words on my part. Caught up in my own polysyllabism.
"What was your question? "
Simple. What's going on? I mean, hey, it seems to be all over the place. Guys all over are thinking this is true - although not necessarily me. I'm simply asking about something observed in popular culture. Hence the quote I quoted from the guy (radio guy) about margueritas. Hence the whole porn industry thing. And citing the women's magazine example. A woman's magazine, I might point out - the very sort of publication that should be fighting such stereotypes instead of contributing, don't you think? So why is it so bloody prevalent. Is this simply a "guy thing" or is there something else going on? | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:52:51 PM |
What's going on? I mean, hey, it seems to be all over the place...I'm simply asking about something observed in popular culture.
Okay, let's pretend this is an answerable question. I'm going to give it a try.
Short answer: Lesbians don't gross anyone out...as long as they're hot; even if they're ugly, it's non-threatening because women are more affectionate amongst themselves than men are. Gay men gross out straight men (and some lesbians). Lesbians = sexy to more people. Sexy to more people = easier to accept.
Long answer: Lesbian action seems much more prevalent now, because the boundaries that restrict our media are looser than they once were. Similarly, in (obvious) direct relation to the slackened control of the media, society at large has come to use the keyword "tolerant" to describe itself; several years ago that keyword had to toe a much stricter line to its boss--"family values." People believe they are "allowed" to do/try something once it has entered the domain of mainstream media; our media are permitted to portray things as they become more widely practiced. The cycle continues, with each encouraging the other. This is directly applicable to "the lesbian issue"...
...But it ignores the fact that this isn't anything new. Lesbianism--in its most palatable, non bull-dyke form, which is what we're talking about--has been kinda okay (at least compared with male homosexuality) in more recent times. Marlene Dietrich was manning it up in a tuxedo in the 1930's in mainstream studio films; Gertrude Stein was living as an "out" lesbian in the 1920's (albeit in France); Sappho was never considered as filthy as her boy-loving contemporaries by most modern Conservative standards. As long as women weren't appearing to see men as unnecessary, it was okay. On that score, nothing has changed.
As it stands now, we (as a big, wide society) have decided to accept gays into our mainstream consciousness in two distinct roles: Lesbians as sexy, modern-thinking women, and gay men as flamboyant comic figures. Ugly "Aileen Wuornos" types and serious-minded gay men are rarely seen because they are threats. Mannish lesbians could replace men! "Serious" gay men could be working in the cubicle next to you, and you wouldn't even know it! We're still pretty limited as a big, collective group.
Because lesbianism has been pigeonholed as something that is desirable (as long as the lesbos are good-looking) some straight women imitate it because they see it as a way to showcase their desirability. Because women "imitate lesbianism" to make themselves appear desirable to men, men accept lesbian action as something desirable. Finally, because "imitated lesbianism" has become popular, and nearly all women are more affectionate towards each other than men are, men choose to see this affection as a desire to engage in lesbian activities. There. It's a big mess of perception, manipulation of perception, and tangled up desires, and that's my explanation. | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:14:12 PM |
Is there a question here? No, more of an observation that invites discussion. Help me out here. After all, it does seem that recently, a lot more women (mostly in their late teens and early 20s) are willing to put on a show for attention.
Think real hard about this...Men LOVE to be tantilized and teased, and for what ever reason some of the most homophobic men LOVE seeing women getting it on with each other...
Now flip the script and think about how many women you know and have chatted with that would say they wanted to see men going at it on each other...
It is all about the money, and for the others about the attention... The NEW COOL is being BI, so these gals are just struting there stuff and getting paid, or getting the pay off of young men eating it up...
Is it the porn industry fault... NOOOOOO it is the men (and a handful of women) who get into that stuff in a big way, sooooo they make what they can sell... | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:23:23 AM | | Ok, Op...I went out of my way tonight to set down my Cranberry and Vodka to pose this all important topic to my girlfriend. Unequivocally, they all disagreed with your original statement.... | |
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| The lesbian myth
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:54:32 PM | Well ladies, thank you. I now consider myself better educated and furthered in my evolution as a man. Next time I hear something as ridiculous as that margeurita comment, I'll know to be able to turn to that person and say "yeah, and are you three beers away from fellating your friends?"
Again, however, I would point out its all over the place, this myth, and obviously too many young girls are willing to sacrifice their dignity in order to get that attention. What do we do about that? | |
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| The lesbian myth
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:24:46 PM | Absolutely nothing. Sacrificing dignity is much healthier than them being bilemics or anorexic.
Edit : My point...there are a lot worse things, young 'girls' (women, ladies, etc etc) could be doing to get attention, than getting their freak on with other young 'girls' | |
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| The lesbian mystique
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:47:13 PM | Stargazer
Cause...it makes money. You mention the porn industry...I don't know the stats but I'm sure most porn caters to men. And I'll be damned if a lot of men are all like "oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh....2 girls are HOT." And those 20-something girls who're doing that? They know what gets to men as well. Ever been to a bar, and 2 very hot, scantily young girls are on the dance floor, touching, rubbing, etc. Notice that every man's eyes are on that and that alone?? Then when the song ends, the girls laugh, giggle or whatever, then go back to their friends and have a private laugh at YOUR expense? Many of them could care a less that you think they're lesbians. They are doing it cause it attracts attention. Male attention. Some men are silly enough to believe that if they see that on the dance floor, maybe with enough drinks...hence the 3 margaritas or whatever it is away from being a lesbian.
And the guy who made that statement? Pfftt....whatever. If a woman can switch teams just cause of some alcohol, she was switch hitting anyway... | |
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| The lesbian myth
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:50:37 PM |
Absolutely nothing. Sacrificing dignity is much healthier than them being bilemics or anorexic.
Edit : My point...there are a lot worse things, young 'girls' (women, ladies, etc etc) could be doing to get attention, than getting their freak on with other young 'girls'
Nocatchy...thank you. They really don't have any "dignity" that they're sacrificing. They're out drinking and having fun. They don't wake up the next morning, all lesbian love jonesed out or something...lol.
It's attention grabbing...it has yours enough to create a thread...they did their job then didn't they?! | |
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| The lesbian myth
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:11:43 PM | Well ladies, thank you. I now consider myself better educated and furthered in my evolution as a man. Next time I hear something as ridiculous as that margeurita comment, I'll know to be able to turn to that person and say "yeah, and are you three beers away from fellating your friends?"
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OP you made a great point here - it is as ridiculous to think that women are a few drinks away from being a lesbian as men are a few drinks away from being gay themselves!!! As someone else put it, it doesn't matter how many drinks - I am not a lesbian and nothing will change that - are you gay? If not how many drinks before you turn gay? None? That's what I thought. So why would it be any different for straight women?
It's been pointed out (rightly so) that it is largely the porn industry along with film/media attention working with the knowledge that this is a huge fantasy of most mens' so they play on it for profit - and men fall for it. No mystery there.
Sadly there are girls who will act this stuff out for attention or whatever reason that has NOTHING to do with her own fantasies. Hope you got your answer op. | |
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