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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:13:10 PM | Aspiring Angel: Wow a 15 minute bj and headstanding, you truely are a rare woman, because I guarantee 95% of women don't do it and not because they don't want to, well I'm sure some don't, but because they can't. I'm not asking to put yourself in the other person's shoes or position, just voicing my opinion. I'm sure your man really does appreciate that you go through extra great lenghts to satisfy him, at least he should. I appreciate your view. Maybe not so much a labor of love as it is a labor of lust, now, that would depend upon the individual.
Best wishes to you as well. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:03:39 PM | | I think that guys and girls both work hard in the bed, and it just depends on the person and relationship on who does more. Is working harder considered by the length of time or touch more/ romance? If your not enjoying the way things are in your relationship the best thing can suggest is talk with your partner about ways to improve the sex. I do believe in my relationship I start out doing most of the work then he finishes up because after I've gotten off a few times I'm ready to relax. So he does more time length, I get off real quick on top. But as far as romance I think I do more of the work for that. Females have to go through all the trouble w/ lingeries, garters, thigh highs, etc. Pick out right soft music, and candles, even cook nice Italian meals. The mood for sex should be started way before the bedroom. If you count the 30 minutes to dress/ fix hair. 4 hrs for lasagna and 15 min for candle music think do more. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:16:56 PM | | It's supposed to be play, not work. The enjoyment should be mutual, the give-and-take should be natural and easy. It's true that a lot of men end up leaving women unsatisfied in bed. They're too focussed on their own satisfaction and don't appreciate the enjoyment that comes from giving their partner pleasure. It's short-sighted. If a woman is left unsatisfied after a sexual encounter too many times, she's going to lose interest in sex. Think about it. Seems like the younger the guy, the more of a problem this is. Men over 50 seem to enjoy giving pleasure to a woman at least as much as they do receiving it. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:25:23 PM | | The topic at hand, lol, is who works harder IN BED, not in the kitchen or the office, or the rel, neither, obviously, is one referring to "3 or 5 minute men", duh! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:12:29 PM | aspiring angel,
Ask any guy who enjoys going down on a woman and he'll tell you he puts in 4 times the effort and time when it comes to oral sex. The majority of men can't handle a 20 minute blow job, but very few women will come inside of 20 minutes with most men performing cunnilingus. Just something to think about. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:49:48 AM | Deuce, Did they do it standing on their heads? It's either that or hanging my head off the bed while he straddles me, so, I really don't think you could compare the two.
Anyway, I know there are men and women who "work" hard at pleasing their lover. The point I was trying to make is that no man is ever going to understand what we go through and vise versa. (well, unless they're bi, but i digress).
My man is hard to please orally. He's the first lover I've ever had like that. He isn't your normal size either (girth) and oral can feel like a broken jaw if it takes too long. I doubt a guy would understand what that feels like.
God forgive me, but sometimes, I don't even feel like having sex after a 20 minute bj.
When one of you guys gets asked for anal, then we'll really talk. Until your gf takes out a strap on and tries to ride you (anally, or otherwise) really, there's nothing for us to discuss here. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:21:00 AM | You know there's nothing saying you have to do anal either, right?! Most guys would say no because of homophobic tendencies or because they think it's gross or unnatural or it might hurt. But the point is they say no because they can. You can too. I've had women say no to a few things in the past, and I'm not vanilla in the sack but I wouldn't exactly say I'm dark chocolate either! LOL
I'd have no idea what it's like sticking something that large in my mouth but I can tell you what it's like to force your tongue out of your mouth for 20 minutes straight. Sucking is much less an activity than licking... that muscle group gets fookin' tired in short order and then it cramps. I'm not saying either is more work here... I'm just saying we men cannot be discounted. Well, the ones that put in that work at least! LOL | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:13:40 PM | I think if either party has to talk about the fact that they worked 'harder'
than you are not with the right person.
I take forever to orgasm. Sucks to be me, and now after reading this, I guess it sucks to be my partner too! Too much work? LOLOL
In all honesty, I have never been with a man who could not cum in 5 minutes, so I can say I have not had to work hard. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:24:58 PM | | Eh. I would work harder in bed if she actually let me do anything. Won't let me eat her out, can't get near her ass, and if I kiss her she asks too many questions. Like, why are you kissing me? How many times are you going to undress me? Are we just going to have sex all night? "Because I love you." "Because I want you." "Yes. And if you have a problem with that, stop being hot." Always the same, it's hard to stand it. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:37:46 PM | I certainly surely hope a guy is working "hard" in bed! 
I'm not going to say who usually seems to make more of an effort in bed. What I will comment on is this:
Often whoever is the one doing the complaining about sex effort, whether it be a man or the woman, the complainer is the one with the problem, not the complainee.
Woman complaining about 20 minute blow jobs. Maybe she ain't doing it right? That's why it takes 20 minutes.
Guy complaining about how long it takes for his woman to orgasm? Maybe he ain't got the right motion in his ocean. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 12:59:02 PM | See? This is why I initially restricted my answer -
I am not complaining, I'm strictly saying that NO MAN knows what I go through as a woman. Period. It's not a gripe, it's an observation.
As for the asinine idea that I've no idea what I'm doing (so it takes 20 minutes) you people are apparently reading impaired. This is the ONLY lover who I've ever had this problem with and he's had it with every lover he has had. The problem (if you can call it that) is that he has a hard time climaxing from oral.
Deep throat? Check (though harder with him because of thickness)
Upside down, on top, underneath? Check check check
Doing it for as long as it takes? Check
Him loving every second? YOU BET
The thing some people are missing is that I love pleasing my man. Does it hurt? Yes sir sometimes it really does. Is he worth it? Yes, or I'd have moved on. I'm staying right here.
~ I wrote a bunch of stuff here about non-vanilla, that I took out ~
Sucking takes less effort than licking? I wouldn't know since I'm simultaneously doing both, sometimes with my tongue sideways (because he likes it that way). Yeah, my tongue gets tired too. And bless you for being able to do it for long periods of time. I rarely got off from oral with my ex (of 15 years) and don't even bother trying with my current bf. It's more frustration than it's worth for me.
Period, that's it, no drama, end of story.
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:00:16 PM | OP if you've not met women in your age group that are flexible then you simply are dating the wrong women!
Sex is not work and who gives a crap about who exerts how much effort. Some days it may be in the lead role with most of the work, other days my partner. End of the day its about pleasing each other and ensuring there is MUTUAL satisfaction.
as always, just my opinion | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:20:08 PM | It seems like asking who does more work the pitcher or catcher? The pitcher has to train their arm, learn new throws, and how to hit the target appropriately for the intended goal.
The pitcher looks like they are just squatting there having a grand time but they also have to learn to throw signals, observe the bases (grand scheme), coordinate the glove to catch the incoming throw, and worry a lot more about protection. So I think the pitcher does more actual physical labor, whereas the catcher has to focus more on communication and self preservation. One is more dynamically active whereas one is more subtle in their activity. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 1:52:53 PM | 1. I don't believe that whether you can go again should be the litmus test of whether you're working at it or not. Frankly, some people just have more endurance than others, and that's not gender specific.
2. I hate being on top, yet if you ask men, that's the only good position there is. That, my friend, is lazy.
3. Women tend to be able to go again more often, because we don't have to wait for something to get hard. We're just...there and rarin'.
Dead lays exist, I believe you, but it's not a gender issue. That's an individual issue. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:03:37 PM | I personally don't consider having sex work, nor do I keep a tally of who does more for whom. It's always different. Some days I give more, sometimes he does. Sometimes it's equal. It really depends on the mood.
However, that being said, I do agree that there are lame people in the bedroom, irregardless of whether they are male or female. Some men do the same thing over and over, some women just lie there. I guess it's just a fact of life, either you accept it or you teach them how to do it better. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:31:49 PM | 1samrap: How can ther mutaul satisfaction if one is more active then the other. For example, say my girlfriend rides like a champ, bam in five minutes I'm done and she still wants to keep going and I don't because, guess what, I'M FINISHED, I'm the only satisfied.
You can call it labor of love, active, work whatever you call it, most men are doing more of it then women, that is what I am saying. And yes, I know many of you disagree with that. If my girls keeps on doing all the work in bed sooner or later she's either going ask me tp be a more active participant or stop riding me, it a fact of life.
I have been around may countries and states and most women my age have so many meical and pshical problems I doubt they could do more then just lay there and give an ocassional hip thrust or two. Now, I said most not all. I agree I have dated some wrong women when it comes to sexual activity but you never til you try. Simply put, I'd like to find a women who is as active as I am in bed, I'm tired of doing most of the work, labor of love and activities and so are most men, I'm sure. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:24:11 PM | i think its the person, not just if its a man or woman- my ex was great in bed, have been with men who you always knew exactly what they would do and not get into it much-same ole way, every time-nothing exciting-, have had men who were 'pleasers, men who were not,some who were into foreplay-men who just wanted to get in there! ha-
i hope to find a man who tries harder,because i do, that would be FUN-but i'm not into
one night stands, meaningless sex-but i was in love and in a relationship- i'd act like i was behind doors! whooooooooo hooooooooo a prude i am- but not with the right man---------------behind those doors! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:35:24 PM | | It all depends on the person you're with. Some men truly enjoy satisfying a woman over and over and over.....others don't. I like to think it evens itself out. I enjoy giving my partner as much pleasure as he gives me, but hey, if he insists on giving me more, I'm not going to argue! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:12:16 PM | Gnuru: Nice analogy!! And...spot on! 
OP: Well if you're woman rides like a champ and you are going to finish so rapidly then you should make sure she till gets off. Nothing to say she can't move from riding your c@ck to riding your face so she can get off as well. Or if your not into that, there's always finger and/or toy play to make sure she's satisfied as well while you're 'recharging'. Yet, your example proves my point exactly...there will always be one partner exerting more physical energy than the other...the key is balancing it and make sure that the same partner isn't 'burdened' with all the exertion all the time.
Sounds to me like you've just been utterly disappointed with your sexual 'exploits' and you've yet to be with a real woman that knows how to be a great lover as well. If my 'assumption' is incorrect I apologize, but if it is not...then why the post?
Good luck and hope you find a flexible and active woman near you soon!!
as always, just my opinion... | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:31:23 PM | Don’t just call the Union Steward and log a complaint, go on strike !
Op, are you unhappy with what you are asking about ?
Do you feel slighted ? Cheated ? Under appreciated ?
Whether you call it “work” or another term, there is nothing
in sex that is not a hell of a lot of fun, so who cares who
does more ____ ?
I have never set a clock and timed a partner to make sure she was
doing her fair share, and i hope none of them have been tempted to
do the same. Somehow my mind is focused somewhere other than
a Stat Sheet during sex. Go figure. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:48:05 PM | | Definitely the men. There are a few women out there who will give tiny hints that they are still alive during sex, but not many. In fact, to be totally honest, I would have to say that the liveliest and most passionately wanton girl I was ever in bed with was a buxom and worldly sixteen-yr old when I was fifteen. She wriggled under me like a seal and bucked and twisted her hips in a very effective way. She was the first girl who ever huskily whispered my name as she covered my face and neck with passionate kisses while moving skillfully to meet my thrusts. I wonder where she is now. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:19:37 PM | To figure out how much work a person does, the force exerted and the distance traveled (Work = Force x Distance) needs to be measured. A person must do work to overcome gravity. The work done is equal to weight, multiplied by the combined distance traveled, (Total Thrust Parameter) which is - penis length x number of thrusts needed to reach orgasm.
For example, the work done by a person weighing 500 Newtons (N) with an average total thrust parameter of 20 meters is:
Work = Force x Distance
= person's weight x total thrust parameters
= 500 Newtons x 20 meters
= 1000 joules
Joules (j) is the unit used to measure work (how much an object is moved). Using the force of one Newton to push an object one meter results in one joule of work.
Does a person do more work if they thrust fast or slow? No; the formula for work does not take into account the time to accomplish total thrust parameters. Yet the two situations are different. When a person thrusts quickly, they do the same amount of work in less time than when they thrust slowly. But they get there more quickly. Further, for the purposes of accurate calculations, it does matter who is on top.
My question is:
Do men get any extra points for generally having to work harder to get a woman into bed? | |
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