| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:00:45 PM | I generally wouldn't go on record saying this, because my personal experiences and philosophy on sexual satisfaction are not 100% in line with what I'm reading-- but I can appreciate where the OP is coming from.
I've heard stories of the multitude of 'starfish' out there who just lay around thinking that a man having the fortune of getting them in the bed entitles them to just lay there and look pretty. I've encountered a few, and I don't bed girls like that anymore. I think there's a mentality that supports the unwillingness to put in the work, and if you can spot it then you can avoid it. My attitude on sex is that I should want to go all out -- if she and I are close enough to be having sex anyway she'd be on the same page and we'd be trying to outdo the other one. Gratification of my partner is a good part of what turns me on, as I generally care about the people I sleep with. Otherwise I'd be a selfish guy looking to drop his load and any girl with a hole and a heartbeat would do. Someone posted that the one who's on the top is doing all or most of the work -- untrue! Get creative (or go find a book!) | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:43:00 PM | /\/\/\
I'm still going to stick to my theory that even during the most mutually co-operative and engaged sexual experience, the man primarily works "harder," in the cardio/continuous movement way.
As a woman, I know I expend significant energy during my non-sexual moments to achieve certain flexibility and position-stamina - but ... during the act of sex, all of my lovers have "worked" much harder. Sort of an equivilant of an hour on the eliptical at top level for him, whereas my cardio effort for the same (or usually better/more fruitful, to be honest) result, would equate to an hour of mid-level jogging on the treadmill.
That's just me, though. Other women might be pushing and pumping like my men are with me, with men who don't move nearly as much. It's hard for me to picture, but you never know.
Re: the "work" required for oral sex. No matter how long the session is for either men or women, and I assume the stress on the mouth/jaw is about equal, I've got to believe that the positioning aspect is less tiresome for a woman than for a man. A woman's head, mostly, is still at a comfortable angle, whereas for a man, mostly, it's tilted back at the neck. That's got to hurt, after a while. In my opinion. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:31:58 AM | | ^^^Amen, not to mention you have to get RIGHT down on your belly or arch your back, and try and support your body while your hands and arms are holding parts or doing other things. Now while you are thinking about this pain go ahead and stick your tongue out as though you are tied to a pole and the keys are hanging on a hook a foot in front of you. Or try and lick the farther point on your nose or chin. Now imagine doing that for 10 or 20 or heaven forbid 30+ minutes. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:43:15 AM | I worked the hardest with most of the girlfriends I've had. Typically they just lay there. They may get on top for awhile or raise their legs in the air but overall I'm the one doing all the hot and heavy pounding.
Ed | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:04:37 PM | I think sex is just like anything else in life, the more you put into it the more you get out of it.
It does seem that some females blame the male partner for a unsatisfying time when the female really didn’t
put in the effort needed. A man can put in everything including the kitchen sink and still not satisfy his woman if she is not into it (Physically and mentally).
I would not agree with who is on top is being more active or at least not all the time. If the man is strong and the female is not very heavy the man can hold her up while moving under her. I am not discounting that she would be using some muscles to stabilize her self. As far as oral i would say that it would be nice for a bisexual female to answer that question.
I will say that the angle is a problem and that i normally put my hands under her and hold her hips up off the, bed ground, and or what ever we are on at the time. It still takes some muscle activity to hold her up the hole time and if you can put a pillow under her problem solved, plus now you have your hands free to help your tongue out. I can’t really say how much activity it takes from a females point of view and i have not really been a receiver of much oral. I have not been in many LTR, but the two i have been in where unable to give much oral do to jaw problems. When a woman moves and pivots her body as needed they are doing a lot of activity, but i believe that it makes the sex better for both of parties involved. I think that as long as both partners are out to really please the other they them selves will be pleased. I think some females have a hard time letting go and letting them selves just sweat a little or letting the freak out. The old saying give and you shall receive. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:13:44 PM | | As a bisexual woman then, I will tell you that my experience is, it is more physical "work" performing oral on a man than it is a woman. That's been my experiene. Your mileage may vary as they say. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:26:13 PM |
I have a problem calling it "work" sex should be PLAY.. like a kid in a candy shop or running around a toy store.
as long as both parties are creative and and enthusiastic about pleasing the other person.... I don't really keep tabs on energy expenditure... But I'll tell you what... next time my GF and I have sex we will wear our heart rate monitors.... and let you know
DK | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:12:26 PM | Once again, I'm not say that there aren't any women out there workig, laboring in love, playing, and being more activein bed then the man their with, I'm those who do are in the minority of women. This is my view, it doesn't matter if your having sex with a one night stand, your bf or gf, or a significant other, if you're there why not go all out, the worst than can happen is one will be left wanting and as for the best that can happen, well use your imaginations.
Sex is not about the moment it's about who you're with at that particular point and time. I'm sure there are plenty of men who just lay there and pump, no wonder their women are left wanting. I'm not talking about stamina, it's has nothing to do with the topic, I'm talking about both parties involved getting it on like wild fire. You can take it slow and easy but as long as both are being active and not just there passing the time.
I'm 42 and again, most of the women in that age group I've dated have the flexibility and participation level of, let's say someone twice their age. NOT ALL women in that age are like this. I am speaking from my expereince, sure I've had one or two women who are just as active as I am but they seem to be few and far in between.
As for the women who have responded to this post, I'm sure that not all of you who say you're more active then your man when it comes to sex really are. If you really think objectively about it and don't get offended you'll find that some of you are and some of you aren't even though you say you are
So once again I say, come on ladies get more active in the sack , honestly, you won't regret it. I also realize there a some who are couch potatoes, yes even in bed and that's ok if they are happy, me I'm happy with an energetic active "co-worker." | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:18:15 PM | | Many of you are thinking that my idea of being more active in bed is who's sweating the the most of breathing heavier, it's not at all. For example, if we're going at a slow pace, she's on bottom and I'm doing my thing slow and easy I expect her to grind and thrust back not just lay there while I do all the "playing." That's what I mean when it comes to being more active during sex. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:49:35 PM | | When you are in a serious relationship and the sex is great, hopefully both of you are sweating^& out of breath at least some of the time and for the rest at least acting as if you are breathing. Seriously, it should roll with the flow, with each giving as good as they get. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:00:57 PM | in my experience men work a lot harder in bed but then i dont sleep with women do i so u shouldnt be asking that question really! men have to ffs or else whats the point humanity will just die a death ewww i gotta go think my friday shags here lol gotta get my leotard and tights on ewww what we do for a bit of a blood rush  but i am a cracker i worked harder than any of them bstards ever did! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:07:21 PM | "Men do! I'm too busy concentrating"
Ok, now that makes sense of the whole thing. Wanna get together and do a bit of concentrating? | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:36:35 PM | | I think that if a woman complains after letting the man do all the work deserves what she gets in bed. My personal opinion is that sex should be two people working together and getting to know what works best for them. If she ain't helping that out why should she get it any better than the man. The best sex I also ever had was when working together to please each other. And to not soften it up any; it takes all parties how ever there maybe to "work" for the same goal. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:14:03 AM | | women who are comfortable with their bodies and comfortable with sex do as much work as the men. Women who aren't simply lie there and do jack. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:43:20 AM |
Women who aren't simply lie there and do jack.
So how much work is Jack putting in?
Asking who works harder in bed kinda makes it sound as if sex is a competition between the two people. Bit of a divisive attitude I would have thought. But hey, if the opposite sex aren't carrying their weight, ditch 'em and go gay. That'll teach 'em. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:06:42 AM | | As a *generality* men work harder in bed as they are supposed to be the dominant sex in that respect. Sex is something that gets 'done' to woman or something they 'give up' so with that kind of thinking many woman just think they have to show up and lay there. | |
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laxi3
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Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 72 | |
| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:14:33 AM | | sweety u r so right i will like to organize a chat with u sometime most women wait on the man to take control u r so right but does anyone agree with me and my future wife-dame whimsical | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:33:35 AM | | I agree with the idea that whoever is on top generally does more work (or how about "effort"?) and that more often than not it's the man. To those women who seem a bit offended by this since you say you put in so much effort (aspiring_angel being a notable example), rather than take offence that women are being slandered in such a horrible way, you should take pride in being the exceptions to the rule. The "average" women doesn't stand on her head or do anything like that, typically they wiggle their hips around and use their arms some. Honestly though, most of the time I don't mind putting in more effort as long as they seem to be getting off on it, though every now and then I do like to get to just relax and "enjoy the ride" so to speak. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:09:40 AM | | It depends on the individual. I knew some men who were rather lazy and dull in bed. I also knew some men who were the exact opposite. I don't think that you can generalize an entire gender. | |
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