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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:52:11 PM | OK, I feel the need to comment on a few of these posts. As always, the following are strictly my opinion...
Cuter: AMEN!!! You hit the nail on the head...if man/woman is confident and comfortable with their own sexuality they will be able to let go and 'work' just as hard if not harder than their partner.
Neitzschan: If the only women you've been with just 'lie there, like dead fish' then...well one of two things is happening....1) you are selecting the wrong women and should talk to them about what you need/want OR 2) you are not a seasoned enough lover to entice your woman and make her desire you enough to put forth the effort...Only you know which one is right, but food for thought don't ya think?
OP: I agree, its not necessarily the 'sweat factor'. If your woman is not grinding up on you whilst your on top, or your on your knees with her feet over your shoulders then you should just have to kneel there hard as a rock and allow here to grab your head with her feet and grind away until she cums all over your c@ck. MMMM, yummmy. Now, if she is unwilling to do this and you are unsatisified, then well...time to move on.
CraignSammy: Hmmmm, you haven't received much oral because your partners have 'jaw problems'? LOL sounds like a full blown scapegoat to me in that they either don't enjoy giving or there is something about your c@ck that turns them off to provide oral. I personally have full blown TMJ and yes, at times my jaw locks up or gets stiff....but i LOVE to please my man orally. No matter how much 'discomfort' I may feel, it is overridden when my man is satisfied having an 'out of body experience' and the best 'weak in the knees' orgasm of his life. So sorry, I disagree that 'jaw problems' inhibit one from providing oral...unless of course your jaw is wired shut. LOL
OK, I think those are the ones to whom I wanted to comment. As I've said before, it all depends who puts in the most 'effort'...end of the day if you truly care about your partner and are an active participant in the moment it all cums out in the wash. One day maybe you exert more energy, the next your partner does.
Doesn't really matter as long as both are mutually satisified and thoroughly ENJOY the experience. But those of us that consider ourselves to be good lovers all know, the key is to please your partner. And if you share in that belief you will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Also, communication is KEY in being compatible lovers. Both in and outside of the bedroom. If you can't discuss your wants/needs/desires then well your probably not comfortable with your own sexuality and you will not receive what it is you want unless you tell your partner.
As always, just my opinions...
samra | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:37:12 PM | | Who works harder? Come on now, when have you ever heard the term "HE just lays there"? As an added bonus, men always take the blame is the woman doesn't have an orgasm. Duh? I've always believed that you are somewhat responsible for your own Big O. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:12:02 PM | hey Reality Guy: you are right, we are somewhat responsible for our own O. And women that are truly comfortable with themselves and their sexuality will almost always have the big O regardless of their partner.
Also, I have had a man or 2 in my years of experience that did just lay there...no noise, no moaning, no nothing...thought i was riding a sleeping or dead man...
Although very rare and infrequent...it does happen that us chics find a complete and total dud.
as always, just my opinion | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:51:34 AM |
Who works harder in bed
When it starts to feel like work then maybe it's time to find a new hobby...or at least a new partner ;-) | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:01:37 AM | | I usually tend to be the "ice-breaker." I take care of his needs and then hope he will take care of mine. But, I find that most men are looking for sex, while women are looking for romance. That said, if I am the "ice-breaker" and take care of my man first, then I would like some consideration from his as well. The big problem is, most men consider themselves great at sex while 98% of them are not even good. And, that, my friend, is why most men feel that women are unsatisfiable. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:18:16 AM | I suppose, the bedroom department "agenda" should transpire like the saying goes one lights the fire ~ the other fans it. 
There is no hard work involved at all; taking in turns pleasurable with beneficial is on and on ... and on  | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:26:18 PM | Works....lol. Based on what? I agree that to be truly enjoyable there needs to be effort on both sides....lol...work...that is funny!! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:31:53 PM | OK, working harder, laboring in love, and playing in bead have absolutely nothing to with confidence, it's about participation. If two people are going to take the time to screw then why not get into it, weather you're married, dating or it's a one night stand.
There are plenty of people out there doing the hipidy dipidty and are both going all aout, but there are many more people out there geting funky and when it's over some is going to say "wow I did all the work" and still both will be "satisfied."
Again, I have been the most active participant during sex most times, I think instead of a confidence issue it might be a comfort issue.
Most times when I get creative or aggressive I have noticed many women start to feel uncomfortable, it's like they're holding back a bit, who knows maybe it's just me, either way I'd really like as active participant as I am in the sack.
Get with it ladies, don't just say you do, do it!! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:41:01 PM | Alright already, get off the work attitude, you people sound like you'vew never done and fun or enjoyable work, work was just the word I used. Well, in some cases where I did the most participating it did seem like work because, man was I tired afterwards. Work can be fun and enjoyable. I am just wondering why it seems most men do the majority of palying in bed.
I don't want to analyze relationships, styles or preferences in bed. What I do want is for women, if you're not playing hard in bed, get off the playground. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:00:06 PM | OP, the thing that turns me on is to pleasure my partner and to hear her responses to what I am doing to her. I would say, I definatly work harder initially. That being said, when she is trashing around and gets to a level of desperation that I know very well, I know I'm about to be gettin my arse tore up!!! In short, with the right partner and technique, it all balances out my brother.
Kevin | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:17:44 PM |
1samrap: How can ther mutaul satisfaction if one is more active then the other. For example, say my girlfriend rides like a champ, bam in five minutes I'm done and she still wants to keep going and I don't because, guess what, I'M FINISHED, I'm the only satisfied.
I'm so glad I'm not that young anymore...
umm... if my partner gets off first we usually go for seconds, or thirds or whatever else will satisfy us both. Unless it's the occassional quickie, five minutes (bwahahahahhahaa), or even fifteen ...., that's not worth taking our clothes off for.. good grief, if I got my guy off in five minutes and then he was "finished"..hell - I don't think I'd ever move again!
Finished? I think not. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:29:09 PM | Re the Opost (again):
OK, OK, some women do work hard in bed, now do they have to work harder on average than a man has to? WTH, anyway, even if a man does more work in bed, that is the type of "work" a man should be "judged" as to whether he is a lazy bum or a go getter!!! Not career/work, lawn mowing, plumbing, etc! What good is a millionaire or CEO or VIP a hard worker who is either lazy or out of steam in bed, ladies???? lmao!
Moral of the story: Women should look for the ambitious, goal oriented and hard working in the right "department" man!  Many seem not to have realised the value of this "priority"!!! | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:49:39 PM | When I first broached this topic I didn't mean to sound like I was complaining about not being satisfied. Being more active is far different than being satisfied but sometimes being the more active person in bed can lead to dissatisfaction. I am suprised that so many women have responded trying to defend themselves, I am not putting anyone down here. I am merely speakin from my expereince with women and from those men and women I have talked to.
I know ther are many men and women of all ages out there still rocking, just not enough, especially women. Iam not the best ever in the sack and would never claim to be, but I confidently say that I am not a shy or bashful lazy ass in the sack either. Does that mean that every women I've ever been was as satisified as I wss, of course not but it wasn't for lack of effort. I think the problem is that most people in my age group are not in sexual shape regardless of what they say, most will say they can rock it all night every night when in reality it's more like 3o minutes one night, but hey, we'll get to that satge eventually.
Like I say, I am not the best in the sack but I am confident in saying this, the women close to my age who have responded by saying they do as much playing if not more in bed as their man could n't handle it with me for one night. Again, I don't mean to put anyone down here and by no means am bragging, but it's true, at least in my expereince that most wome my age can't perform as good as they say. I'll be this bold and say that in more cases than not, the majority of people in their 40's or older are only good for five minutes, the majority, not all. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:36:11 PM | | You know what you do lethrneck, is sleep with a man and you can compete to see who works harder. And then afterwards you can have a laugh about how women don't work hard in bed while you cuddle. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:40:01 PM | | the "work" is different. for guys...if done properly, it's definitely a good ab and tongue workout -- better cardio than any gym. for girls it's more about oral skill, muscle control (never underestimate the wonders of kegel excercises), and knowing how to move with your partner -- female talent is more about subtlety and seduction. it's kinda like dancing, the guy generally leads, but if the woman is a ragdoll there's no way it's gonna look (or feel) good. | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:49:11 PM | I like to be on top...so I feel in control I can get as much as I like and as long as I like. So when I'm on top I do most of the love work, and I had a man that only wanted a bj but didn't wanted to give back....now they aren't all the same . So who works harder it depends on individual..... | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:45:21 PM | I have one question for 'THE BOYS', have you ever given a fabulous' blow job' ???? do you have any idea how much effort and work a women puts into THAT? 
I honestly think that if both people want to get off, then they both need to be involved in every aspect........ I know for me, the more active i am, the better the orgasm..... | |
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| Who works harder in bed, men or women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:09:01 AM | funny!!! so "either don't enjoy giving or there is something about your c@ck that turns them off"
I said didn't receive (much) oral. I my self do not want my partner doing anything that they don't enjoy doing. If my partner will have a migraine for the next four hours for 5 minutes of my pleasure i will not be a part of it. I wonder if you went and looked at my profile before responding? The first of my LTR that accounts for most of my adult life was in a really bad car wreck. My profile didn't say that it destroyed her jaw, but that was one of the things it did. She was unable to put two fingers in her mouth and had surgery do to the migraine's. The car that hit her impacted with the drivers side door and the grill of the car hit her face. The second LTR is not as easy to tell why, but she is not much of a giver. She does have jaw problems and i cut sweet corn off for her. She is not able bite fruit and has to cut it up. When we where talking about eating something i asked her how much she could open her jaw and she tried to open it for me, lets just say i don't think it would fit in. As for how i am down below. I am well taken care of and the subject of to shave or not shave for men has already been addressed on this site. It looks as normal as it gets, not bent, smooth, shaved, clean, not huge or small.
Thanks for the response (kthyg) you would know.
I don't think that it is who does the most, but that both want to please each other. I think that we forget how much of it is mental and not physical. It is so hard sometimes to find out what flips the other persons switch and talking about it helps, but sometimes they don't know. Why is it so hard to have good sex and caring relationship at the same time. I do think that if a person is selfish everyday life that they are the same in bed. | |
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