| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:48:35 PM | I wear my shirts based on what I feel like wearing that day. I don't schedule my shirts at all. I have 6 'new' shirts and about 6 more that I have that I wear regularly and cycle through. Just whatever I feel like wearing at the time. I could easily end up wearing the same shirt like that (I would try not to, though), but depending on the person, it's easy.
I don't schedule my shirts at all, other people probably don't either. So it could happen. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:59:15 AM |
Women like to change men and improve them for the better. We're making this easy for you.
Not all women like to change guys. Some of them like staying in relationships
I'm me, I'm who I am, I don't change. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:02:25 AM |
I don't schedule my shirts at all, other people probably don't either. So it could happen.
I don't know any guys who do. I put on what I feel like wearing that day. PERIOD. I admit though, I ran into one friend that happens to be an ex about 3 times in a row while I was wearing the same shirt lol. 100% coincidence | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:14:49 AM | | If you want a classy looking date, arrange a date that demands classy looks. I usually let my dates know what the attire will be first. If it's "casual", anything goes. If it's classy, we are going all out - dinner, opera/ballet, drinks afterwards but no freakin sex, I am not a classy dude and I will not soil my sex that way. Now, either way, I always prompt my dates to wear something "that will make my jaw drop". Chicks don't date me for my clothes, they date me for who I am but very few are priveledged to get that far. Therein lies the little secret... | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:44:42 AM | | If a man is neat ( no ripped, dirty clothing etc ), then I could care less how he dresses. First dates are usually at places where people don't need to dress up. Also I would rather have man be himself instead of wearing clothes that he doesn't like just to impress a woman. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:10:03 AM | For me it's who I am.... true to character. I appreciate the same in a woman too.
Ive let a woman do what she wants with my looks a couple times and she was like, WTF? you're totally hot,lol.......... but I looked at myself and thought wtf is this? My buddys would probably slap me upside the head to see if my brain was still funtioning properly if they seen me like that | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:43:38 AM | For me, I dress appropriately for the place. If it is a casual restuarant, i am not going to wear my Armani Suit, but perhaps some slacks etc. A fine dining place, yes very classy. A bar, some jeans. I have fasion sense and it depends on the setting and that is me, and I do expect the man to be himself as well, not put on heirs so to speak.
But, come on, first impressions mean alot. yes, we all must be ourselves, but at least look decent etc. If the 2 of you end up in a relationship, and he looks that way after time, lounging on a sunday afternoon at home, that's fine.
But, don't we all want to see at least a little class about someone no matter what they do for a living.
I had one guy, since I am in a professional position at work, he asked me to be all dolled up, suit, heels etc to a hole in the wall bar. I'm like um NO!!
That's not me, my suits are for work and I wear them on dates at nice places, not a hole in the wall bar!! | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:37:50 PM | The secret is great shoes.
But I'd never show up casual unless it was pre-aggranged to be casual. I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy, but I can certain dress to impress. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:14:56 PM | maybe hes just that kind of guy. are you looking for a suit + tie type of a person ? and you ended up getting a surfer or skater ?
why dont you just ask him ? or if it is such a critical issue for you, just move on. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:21:21 PM | I have several nice, middle-range-expensive suits. In general, however, anyplace I would have to wear them is a place I wouldn't be comfortable in anyway (funerals and weddings, stuffy business meetings). I don't go on dates to be uncomfortable, and I don't need my date to knock herself out trying to impress me with her ability to shop for expensive stuff, or apply a lot of makeup.
When I can't weasel out of an uncomfortable, formal event, it is nice to have an attractive, stylish woman as my companion, but that happens to me less than annually.
Same t-shirt on successive dates? Not likely. I buy colored, "heavy" t-shirts by the half-dozen, I try to get a variety of colors but sometimes they're identical. I've probably got 20 or so "newer" (worn less than 6 months) t-shirts; I never wear a t-shirt twice before laundering, sometimes I change shirts during the day, sometimes twice or more (depends what I'm doing); I tend to favor grey or "heather" color t-shirts around the house most of the time.
Shoes? I like my wingtip brogues, but the crosstrainers are a lot more comfortable. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:54:08 PM | I could easily end up wearing the same shirt like that (I would try not to, though)
You would try not to being the key point. That's what I'm saying (or was trying to say). I go out to the same place every weekend for a couple drinks. I could wear the same shirt two weeks in a row, and it has happened by accident, but I try not to because I have many shirts to choose from. If I'm going out on dates I try to cycle through my shirts on the dates, and would try not to wear the same shirt on 2 dates in a row, let alone 3.
On the other hand, I wouldn't wear the same shirt I wore to work on a date, so I do have my work clothes and my 'out' clothes which gives me a lot more options for when I'm going out as they get cycled through less often.
I suppose also she didn't say how close the dates were together. I mean it would be much more likely to happen if they were 3 dates over 6 weeks, than if they were 3 dates in 2 weeks.
Either that or maybe I just have too many options (at least 15 shirts, plus t-shirts bumping it up to about 20-25 options anytime of year - altho I do have my favorites, and some are for more formal events - plus a few that are only seasonal, only hot nights, or cold nights...plus all my work shirts and shirts I wouldn't wear out - comfy clothes....yea I have a lot of shirts and not one tie lol) | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:09:07 PM | OP,
I am the exact opposite of what you describe. I'll torture myself over how I look before going out on a date, the reason is I rarely ever have "casual" dates. I've done most of my dating from online and I usually know the person much better than most people do going on dates in the real world. If it gets to a point that I want to actually meet them, I usually also want to impress them because we have been sharing mutual interest prior to the meeting. I think some of the guys that just show up as is, do it because ultimately that is who they are, once the courting phase is over that is how they will be so why put up a facade when meeting someone who you have little vested interest in. I always saw this as wasteful as I don't have time to meet people just to find out we aren't truly compatible, my dating life has always been quality of quantity and that modifies how I've sought to meet the people I've started getting to know. I think you should maybe try and get to know more about these guys before you meet them, to see if that additional familiarity will get them to preen up for your meeting, it could tell you a good deal about their true intentions and interest but it costs a bit more time.
Much success, | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:43:55 PM | I'm not by any means a serial dater, but I can say that it depends on where this date is at. But at the same time if that lady is someone I liked enough to invite out, I'd at least make an effort to look better than usual! lol.
Dates to me aren't really dates. It's time that's been put out to spend getting to know that other person. I don't really walk into the date expecting anything. No kiss no nothing. I guess this for me makes the date more relaxing and layed back.
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:02:43 PM |
I went out last evening, with a nice guy , had alot in common, had great converstion, but he shows up for drinks in an old t-shirt and shorts.... ok so , ill give it a second chance , he shows up for lunch , in the same attire, older t shirt, didnt shave.......
Guys, why not put your best foot forward ?
I take very good care of myself and always dress nice, very classy, is it too much to exspect the same ? whats wrong with that?  | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:12:36 PM |
I take very good care of myself and always dress nice, very classy, is it too much to exspect the same ?
yes and no. I would put in your profile that you like sharp dressers.
I also would ask you if he's such a great guy and you have a lot in common are you going to be shallow and kick him to the curb for not dressing to your standards? | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:38:16 PM | I went out last evening, with a nice guy , had alot in common, had great converstion, but he shows up for drinks in an old t-shirt and shorts.... ok so , ill give it a second chance , he shows up for lunch , in the same attire, older t shirt, didnt shave.......
Guys, why not put your best foot forward ?
I take very good care of myself and always dress nice, very classy, is it too much to exspect the same ?
Not a guy, but I'm gonna post anyway . . .
Nice guy
alot in common
great conversation
and the problem is what?
He was being himself and not being phony and now that's a problem???
Be happy he was a nice guy who you had a lot in common with and had a great conversation with!
Who cares if he showed up in shorts and t-shirt?
*shesh* no wonder guys think women are so hard to please.
~tb~ | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:13:08 PM |
I wouldn't call it a "take me as I am" thing, but that being all concerned about fashion is for women, nancy-boys... and gay men.
Yes, we (true men) really could care less about it.
I really can't stand that tired old generalization about "true men" not caring about fashion. I know a lot of "true men" who honest do care about how they look and what they wear.
And to the OP, I do think a lot of the guys here are right that it is a take me as I am attitude.
But I think you are completely in the right to expect more from the person you go out with. I would suggest that next time you have a date, check with the person you are going out with and see what they plan on wearing. That way there won't be any missteps. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:36:32 PM | | I get really pissed off when a woman asks me what im going to where when we meet up, because that's the last thing on my mind. i will throw on whatever.......i dont care if some threds wil impress a woman, all she res about are the words coming out of my mouth.....that's what seals the deal. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:13:48 PM |
I get really pissed off when a woman asks me what im going to where when we meet up, because that's the last thing on my mind. i will throw on whatever
So much anger at such a young age...Perhaps they ask you because they want to make sure they does not over or under dress and uses what you are wearing as a gauge. | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:11:44 AM |
I went out last evening, with a nice guy , had alot in common, had great converstion, but he shows up for drinks in an old t-shirt and shorts.... ok so , ill give it a second chance , he shows up for lunch , in the same attire, older t shirt, didnt shave.......
Guys, why not put your best foot forward ?
I take very good care of myself and always dress nice, very classy, is it too much to exspect the same ?
^^^^^^^^^^^ This reminds me of a work colleague who went on a first meet with a guy.. She told him just to wear casual dress as they were going to a local cafe.
He turns up in a yellow summer dress with 3 inch white high heels......she was embarassed and made a hasty exit, she actually ran.....he chased behind in his heels...apologizing profusely by saying ," sorry i didn't realize you were insecure..I can ditch the heels if you want?"
She managed to get away quite easily as he broke a heel and tripped up | |
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| why do you go on 1st date so casual...
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:33:35 PM | It's good to make a good first impression, but it's also not good to go too far out of your norm.
I try to give a girl a good idea of how I generally am without looking too scrubby.
That being said, I did go out on a first date with a girl last fall who showed up way dressed down, and I felt a little put off by it. Particularly as I knew she dressed up when she went out with other guys.
I was like, "WTF? .........biatch!" | |
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