| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:23:22 PM | ^^^
Guilty? I doubt that. She was banging the guy for 6 weeks before the breakup.
OP: You're angry and you wanna hurt something.
I recommend a punching bag at your local gym. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:33:37 PM | | just let it go , as they say if she did it to you she will do it to him as well. just be glad you were not married. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:33:37 PM | Problem Is they are liers and decievers to start, or cheating wouldnt of happened to begin with. So dont expect the truth In anything basically.
And In more cases then not - they want you there as their backup If the better thing doesnt work. So they can do It to you again, and not need to stand alone whilst they seek better - so you wont get the truth sadly.
Best to keep walking and not look back | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:43:43 PM | | Sometimes it takes our hearts a little time to catch up with our minds. You cannot just turn feelings off. Keep having little chats with yourself, do things you really like, and one of these days you won't have to stop yourself from thinking about her. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:52:12 PM | | Yeah what is the point of finding out because she's with him anyways? It just going to hurt you more because the answer might not be the one your looking for. Just forget about her and live your life. Akuna Matata my friend. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:01:46 PM | Try and forget about her - she's a liar and a cheat, nothing special
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:06:29 PM | no. if she cheats, she lies. What's the point now? It happened and asking her won't undo it - besides, you will get into an argument with her if she admits it and then you will get even angrier, taking it to a more intense level.
Consider yourself sadder but wiser. You're very cute, btw. You'll replace her soon enough. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:59:46 PM | If it will make you feel better; however this is just how I am about certain things. Not everyone agrees with this but I am of the thought what you "don't know" wont hurt you. I found out my ex was with another guy too a while back...personally I'd rather not of known at the time. As it turned out the guy dumped her b/c she came graveling back but this time I wasn't falling for it.
Dating in general has been frustrating as hell so we tried reconciling a while back...in her case that was the final chance. She had a history of jumping from guy to guy.
As far as your situation....I know your probably bummed out either way and its a moot point but she will probably cheat on him too. I dont have tell you its a lot easier for girls to get guys then guys to get girls; however its equally hard for both to find something or someone that is real and long lasting....thats what I am ultimately after.
There's just so many flaky people out there who don't whether they're coming or going, end up picking the losers then complaining about it.
I'm a very determined person and know I will find what I am looking for sooner or later.
Good luck to you. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:36:53 AM | | well it is easier to tell you to leave all that behind you, than it is to do just that. At least she is not torturing you with her devious ways, I almost typed womanly instead of devious. To play with you / torture you for her enjoyment . Sorry ladies as I know not too blame a whole gender as there are more unlike her that are like her. Walk away with your head held high knowing that she has done wrong. Thank the good lord she showed her true colors sooner rather than later. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:54:58 AM | | The only thing that is going to set you free is the decision to move on with your life and cease with the victim mentality. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:10:10 PM | Email her? Hmmmmm. What if she just lies to you? I mean she could lie and say 'yes' or she could lie and say 'no', your emotions would still be stuck on the roller coaster destination: Hell, with her at the switch. I'm pretty sure that isn't what you want.....
Go on a date. I mean just go, right now. Find somebody online or a friend, or a coworker, person at the gym whatever and go see Narnia. You can get in for $8 each if you go before 6pm. That's what you should do.
And don't talk about your ex AT ALL ----> important.
I'll meet you both for drinks right after the show *wink* | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:30:59 PM | | well the upside is: One it just makes you feel good to do something; two when you know for sure what you already know sometime or most of the time it sets in stone and helps you just move on. We all have that what if and mayb....... and it is all in the hopes that they will come back | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:35:25 PM | You want someone to take the blame for something failing. There does not need to be a winner or loser to everything.
If you know that her new guy was cheating with her 2 1/2 years ago, ( I read your post as saying you have been divorced for 2 1/2 years) you can not do anything about it. She doesn't care if you know or not.
It will not serve any purpose in finding out the answer, even if the person actually tells the truth. You are looking for someone to blame.
Resolve your own personal issues, realise that it is over and move on... | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:55:23 PM | What do you want , reparations?
If this LONG , LONG past relationship - and its possible twist - consumes you NOW , you're in desperate need of involvement in hobbies. Build a house. Or a car. Or a battleship.
No , the full scale variety. Sixteen inch guns an' all. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:10:04 PM |
knowing will not set you free...
Setting yourself free is the only thing that will set you free...
And love her anyway...
She was just lookin' for love like the rest of us....
How much longer will we crucify each other for that? | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:15:47 PM | | Hi Bob. . .I have found that the sooner you can forgive her (not forget what she did) the sooner you will be able to heal and move on to some joy in your life...you don't have to tell her you forgive her..just try saying the words a few times. . .at first they might sound foreign in your mouth. . . .this will help you let go and move on. . . .don't let her hold on to your heart this way. . . .she already broke it. . . . .there is much happiness ahead of you. . .don't look back. . . . | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:17:11 PM | You are looking for some "type of closure " as we women call it.. an answer ..but i have been thru this myself and suffering thru almost the same dilema...it is terrible and i would not wish this type of pain on my worst enemy.. but from past experience...you have to hold your head up and walk away..and i have found that the closure does come...these cheater types repeat and repeat the same behaviour patterns...and some day she will want to talk to you and repent her sins and explain.. but it is always a little too late .. all we can do is be thankful to God we were not married to them and do not have to sort thru the legal nightmare stuff ...
Hopefully, it makes us wiser .. yet more cautious....but i have to believe right now at this very moment there is some wonderful loving person out there that would be happy to find a good person..until than i continue my soul searching, reading, walking with my "best Friend" and working on my garden pond...!!!
Happiness always comes back around ...keep smiling~~someone might just fall in love with your smile..
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:22:28 PM | | Let it go...This will only pain you even more...Walk away...Better left things unsaid...Move on... | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:43:55 PM | | Let it go. What do you hope to get out of it? You get to be the good guy? move on it's pointless and will only hurt you. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:47:25 PM | | What would I do - simple - go on the Maury show. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:48:08 PM | | Thanks for the help. It's really motivational and I'm starting to agree with the "let it go" crowd. Each passing day gets a little easier. To clarify (since there seems to be some confusion) I dated this gril for 2 1/2 years. We only broke up 3 weeks ago. I only started to put the pieces together concerning her infedelity a couple of days ago. There was a post on here about which cheating is worse... emotional or physical? Well I can tell you, as so many others can, they both hurt but knowing that the person is actually planning on cheating you and laying the groundwork for their next partner... well it's a pain unlike any I've ever had. | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:48:46 PM | | let it go home boy... you're just asking for salt to put on your injury... | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:49:12 PM | Look.....She knows what she did...and as for her saying she didnt want to hurt you..THATS WHY...... So she cheated and she lied. Revenge? Do you really think she cares that you now know. She's moved on....Now its time for you to do the same.
The hurt and anger you feel is normal to a point. The revenge is immature and will only make you feel worse than you do now.
You have control over no ones feelings but your own. TAKE CONTROL.........
She is SO past you. Don t you think the best thing for you to feel good is to .....FEEL GOOD? Do that by focusing on the future not the past. There is NOTHING about the past you can change. It serves no purpose to stay there.
Just know that you are well rid of her and you deserve better.
Good Luck | |
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| What would you do?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:23:36 PM | msg24
<div class="quote"> If I know all this, why am I finding it so hard?
Probably because you think she hurt you and you want to get back at her.
msg25
<div class="quote"> Because she hurt you.
She couldn't have hurt him if he didn't let her.
Why is it we always want to blame others for our own misery? | |
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