| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:06:51 PM | If I see the same men...for over year on my screen...with plenty favorites...I think they here for chatting only and they have other private life...
Maybe being on dating site is only their addiction? | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:37:17 PM |
It might be OK for a bunch of biddies to feel a connection with each other cause it's something to talk about and they can't figure out anything else to do but come up with cutsie name calling.
And, calling posters a "bunch of biddies" is not name calling? The pot calling the kettle black? Or, are you just trying to start a flame war? | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:41:13 PM | In the time I’ve been on this site (quite a while, now), I’ve met (talked to) maybe a hundred or so people, made a couple dozen good friends (some, very close), and dated 5 (I think). And of the 95 or so that I met and didn’t date, only one went ballistic because I didn’t ask her out. Most of the others (I would assume), realized just like I do, that thousands of people pass through this site every day, interacting in many different ways, some linking up, some not, and they were not asked on a date by a particular person because that particular person didn’t want to ask them on a date – for whatever their reason. I think I’d be a bit of a mess if I took it all personally, and a bit full of myself if I thought that because someone didn’t want to date me, it meant that they didn’t want to date anyone.
Just my opinion ...
cdn guy | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:49:21 PM |
Did this boy complain in mssges 6 and 13???.
I took a while to think about whether to include these as complaints and even though I found them humorous, I still labeled it as bit of complaining. Now post 13 really had me laughing cause of who it was complaining about. Maybe I should have specified complaining about others without attempting humor.
And, calling posters a "bunch of biddies" is not name calling? The pot calling the kettle black? Or, are you just trying to start a flame war?
I didn't call anyone a biddy and it wouldn't be name calling to use a term that means "a woman, usually an elderly one regarded as annoying or interfering." Now why would I think anyone that's annoying or interfering would have trouble getting a date?
I happen to find someone that complains a lot, annoying.
I also notice those that complain the most, have the most difficulty getting dates. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:31:11 PM |
I didn't call anyone a biddy and it wouldn't be name calling to use a term that means "a woman, usually an elderly one regarded as annoying or interfering." Now why would I think anyone that's annoying or interfering would have trouble getting a date?
I happen to find someone that complains a lot, annoying.
I also notice those that complain the most, have the most difficulty getting dates.
I would agree that some people do seem bitter about life and complain alot.. And generally these kinds of people do have trouble getting dates. I suppose the three big factors in why some fail in the dating feild is... Being bitter, being to picky and looking to date a big bank account instead of a big heart.
However I do suppose also that on a public forum, people post different topics. I wouldn't really call that complaining.. just opening a discussion. And I think we all know that dating sites can be very frustrating. Everyone's looking for love, but no body emails back...lol.. {are these the new rules for catching the big fish?}.. LOL
I say, just take your time, be nice, be real, take chances... let what comes come.. And eventually somewhere along the line, someone decent is bound to come alone.. Oh goodness.. i'm rambling...LOL... sorry folks  | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:41:03 PM |
A LOT--and I mean a LOT--of the men who contact me [or did when I was looking] are really just into chatting, getting a little "frisky" online, and then fading away. I think the whole persona of online people is too cautious, the reason I am here is as a tool toward ACTUALLY meeting a human, not VIRTUALLY meeting a human.
Me too! | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:04:07 PM | Well to be honest, I am beginning to feel a bit disillusioned with the site for various reasons and it has gotten to the point where I am just not willing to put forth the effort anymore. I try, I really do... but I think its kinda futile anyway. Maybe I've been here too long and its time to take a break. I'm sure others have reached this same point as well. Whats one to do?
...maeflowers | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:03:27 AM |
Well to be honest, I am beginning to feel a bit disillusioned with the site for various reasons and it has gotten to the point where I am just not willing to put forth the effort anymore. I try, I really do... but I think its kinda futile anyway. Maybe I've been here too long and its time to take a break. I'm sure others have reached this same point as well. Whats one to do?
got to agree with you miss flowers.. sigh ..
Maybe we need to go to "PlentyOfFrogs" .. at least even if they don't turn into princes .. we get to kiss someone!!! lol ..
A.S.is
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:52:58 AM | Anyone that believes that internet dating is "easier" than real life dating is probably bound for disappointment. While it is true that you can meet a whole crowd that you would not normally meet, its also true that you will meet a lot of people who are just not convenient nor compatible with you own social circle, life style and a host of other less subtle dimensions to your life.
Lots of really interesting contact live continents away or even just hundreds of miles away. Almost all of them already have stable life patterns that you are not part of, as they are not part of your life pattern. Its as likely that they will abandon all as it is that you will abandon all. Then there is the day to day fit of knowledge, expectations, assumptions and everything else that will not be congruent.
Traditional methods like hooking up through friends, relative, church, social clubs, other people's wedding and local activities may not throw up the variety of the internet, but you will at least be finding people who talk the same, eat the same, go to the same places and do the same things as you do, so it will be easier to adapt to a mutual life style. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:10:37 AM | I really feel sorry for the women on this site.. Beacause I have heard such horror stories about the men. It really seems like there's a a bunch of A-holes floating around out there. Alot of the women are kind of screwy too.. But the men seem to steal the award for first rate morons. But not all are I like that.. at least I hope not.. It has always been my practice to always email women back if they emailed me.. I always told the truth about myself.. always showed up for my dates..Always met A.S.A.P. and didn't drag things out forever... And never put anyone down based in superficial things like weight or income... Hell, I'm not perfect or rich either!!!! And you know, I evetually met someone really nice. That's not to say that i didn't have some bad dates with people who had fake pics, lied about intentions.. And even one or two that didn't show up...
BUT... as said, the men seem to steal the show.. I feel for the ladies. But it's just not POF.. It's everywhere.. all these dating sites seem to attract the same kind of lunk heads. And they give all men a bad name.. But we're not all like that.. Not all men are players and pigs.. Just the same way not all women are... well, you know..lol...
So sorry ladies... Sorry that you have had and are having so many lousy experiences with men. It's really uncalled for and there's no excuse for it. Alot of men need to grow up and stop being so mean and insulting towards women.. And they need to stop playing games and looking at the opposite sex just as a piece of meat on the market. Alot of men wonder why so many women are cold, indifferent and b*thcy.. Well, it's because of the crap men have put them through..
Guys.. you need to cut the crap.. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:03:11 AM |
If I see the same men...for over year on my screen...with plenty favorites...I think they here for chatting only and they have other private life.[quote/] Just like to point out this does work both ways. There are several women i see online every time i login, attractive women to i might add. Just begs the question what are some singles doing here. If no one is willing to just go out, meet for coffee. So it may turn out you are not a match. At least you made the move instead of messaging back & forth for weeks or month. Nothing gets accomplished that way except wasteing time & growing older. Just forget about the " what if " & take a chance.  | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:05:36 AM |
BUT... as said, the men seem to steal the show.. I feel for the ladies. But it's just not POF.. It's everywhere.. all these dating sites seem to attract the same kind of lunk heads. And they give all men a bad name.. But we're not all like that.. Not all men are players and pigs.. Just the same way not all women are... well, you know..lol...
Sorry but I think it's women that 'steal the show' with their stories of wierd men. Just because there's more women than men complaining about men does not mean there's any difference in how the sexes respect each other.
Comiserating with a bunch of complainers will help to endear you with them for a moment but it won't help them stop complaining, in fact Pavlovian theory will show that it will just encourage them to complain for attention.
Guys.. you need to cut the crap.
What good will admonishing men do for you? | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:10:15 AM | LOL MacKevinized...seems to me your post (#2) could have been taken as complaining or whining. As a mom of four sons, I know these things ...old biddie that I am
Don't give up on POF...I've found a great guy on here and am just starting into a new relationship with him, took a little time to find that jewel but well worth wading thru the mud And btw..we found each other in the forums while posting, not doing a search Don't give up...you just may get lucky! | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:15:44 AM | ...better yet, tell me how you can go on a first date without marriage coming up in the conversation...
The gentlemen around these parts are anxious in wanting to meet.
HnH  | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:15:54 AM | LOL MacKevinized...seems to me your post (#2) could have been taken as complaining or whining. As a mom of four sons, I know these things ...old biddie that I am
"When in Rome, do as the Romans"
If you want to be considered a biddy, you should have eliminated the terms "seems to me" and "could have been" or said some condescending remark about how I have no right to post.
Around here, I often couch what I'm saying as a complaint. It draws out the absurd and the more intelligent. The absurd is adults acting out like irritated teenagers and the intelligent say stuff like "seems to me" and "could have been".
As far as finding a partner, I think most that do seem to take 2-5 months. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:53:37 AM | | One reason a person won't met you face to face is that their profile is a great work of fiction. They realize it, they want to be the person in the profile but the pictures are old, they lied about their age or their job etc. There is something there that they realize you won't like, so rather than met and give you the option to reject them, they simply take that out of the equation. They have invented this persona to get attention from people, any attention even negative is better than none..ie the forum whores who comment on every post in a negative fashion about how they are finished with dating but they are still posting on a dating forum lol. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 11:39:12 AM | What good will admonishing men do for you?
It's this; At one time it was believed that a woman's place was in the home. Men were the big bread winners and power centers of life in general. Now granted, there have always been nasty women in the world. But it was the men who pulled the power plays on women, earned the money to spend on prostitutes.. went to bars and by and large done the cheating. Again, not in all cases, but I would say most. Then with the advent of equal rights and the independent woman.. Women began to adopt the habits of the men. Women become tired of being barefoot and pregnant.. and being talked down to and mistreated. So the women began to play the same games as men. Where's the proof.. just look around you.. Women cures like men, some dress like men, they drink like men, sit around getting drunk watching sporting events like men, thinking they are superior to men.. just the way men used to think they were God's compared to the foolish little women. Many of these things were unheard of in days gone by.. And modern man complains about it.. Yet he keeps playing the same foolish games over and over and over again... And the women follow suite.. Sort of, what's good for the goose is good for the gander..
But do two wrong make a right? Certainly not!!!! But I think if men get down off the high horse and just act like human beings.. The women will come back down to earth as well.. Somebody somewhere has to make the first move... Then Mac, maybe there won't be so much complaining.. and people will begin to heal from the wounds we have inflicted on each other.. | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:15:54 PM | Studies indicate that 40% of married men are unfaithful. The same studies indicate that 60% of married women are unfaithful.
Women portray themselves as the victims, but its just not that way. But, who cares what the facts are.... | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:29:09 PM | Studies indicate that 40% of married men are unfaithful. The same studies indicate that 60% of married women are unfaithful.
Women portray themselves as the victims, but its just not that way. But, who cares what the facts are....
Well, I actually wasn't aware of the studies.. But that is bad that the women out number the men. And I in no way shape or form am saying that all women in the modern day are angels. Some have taken things to the extreme.. And I myself have encountered some very sneaky, lying, rotten females on my treks.
But you know what? To me it all boils down to this: The moral decline of people is at an all time high. We have all, (men and women) become so self absorbed and deluded in our thinking. We hurt each other but we also hurt ourelves by becoming part of the problem instead of part of a solution. With each and every person out there who chooses to do the wrong thing.. They become another drop in the ocean that tips the scales in the wrong direction.. This might not be the time or place to mention it.. But I think we best all get back to some spiritual values.. I didn't say religion... religion is not the answer to anything.. But getting back to a more spiritual perspective and doing unto others as we would have them do unto us, is not such a bad thing. We need to cleanse our thoughts of all this selfish junk.. And start to evolve in a more positive direction.. And as stated above, someone has to make the first move. Everyone seems so unhappy.. the liar is unhappy, the cheater is unhappy, the person cheated on is unhappy.. The players and the users are unhappy.. The sincere people are unhappy.. How long can we continue on this path???? Are we so blind that we can't see that the way in which we are living is not working??? Are we to stupid or just to stuborn to change things??? When will we all learn.. And when will we realize that all this junk we pull on each other is just contributing to everyone's unhappiness??? Change starts with each and every individual.. To change from within.. We all need to get real and knock of the BS... | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:25:47 PM | You write with an impassioned and rather broad brush, Mind Freak – and I admire your attempt to try to make people realize that change is necessary. But when you describe the fictitious Mr. and Mrs. Generality with such a dismal and gloomy portrait, you give increased attention to those aspects of humanity and, basically, become part of the problem yourself. Perhaps if you gave your head a shake and tomorrow, when you ventured out into the world, you made a point to look for the good aspects of people, the things that are working ‘as they should’, the things that have improved to being better today than they were yesterday – these things do exist and last time I counted, they still outnumbered the ‘not so good’ things – you might see that writing statements like: “We all need to get real and knock of the BS ...” – which although good in intent, are also very generalized, incorrect in that generalization, and really don’t help to accomplish what you appear to be trying to accomplish.
With respect to this particular topic, there are thousands and thousands of successful dating stories and experiences, from even this site alone – I know of dozens of them, personally. And with very few exceptions, these people are all gone – left the site. They came to POF, initiated the dating ‘routine’ (in their own ways), did it successfully, found what they came to find, and left. Those people and their stories are not part of the forum environment because they are no longer here. And a Mr. and Mrs. Generality that doesn’t include this rather large group of people is inherently, incorrect.
Just my opinion, Mind Freak ... which is quite different than yours. I mean no personal offense.
cdn guy | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:55:15 PM | If it weren't for a few -minor- details....{..and if the chemistry was there...}..
I'd not only Date 'Bianca' . .
I've got a size 7 ring for her, Too...!!
..but..then again. . the - few, minor details - have gotten in the way of _Thousands_ of
Perfect Matches, before....and still Will..!!
Most of the real *Diamonds*, here ...use the 'Distance Dodge' much too often..!! | |
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:23:15 PM | Talking about dating is more fun. Doing it requires showering, dressing nicely, driving somewhere, and getting out of the car. Slow down! Rome wasn't built in a day!
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| TALKING ABOUT DATING vs. ACTUALLY DATING
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:59:38 PM |
Studies indicate that 40% of married men are unfaithful. The same studies indicate that 60% of married women are unfaithful.
I haven't seen that study either, but my personal observations tend to support this idea. | |
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