| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:40:51 PM |
I don't think women are able to cheat just physically.
Au contraire! My ex wife was cheating on me, and I didn't find out until after she came home and told me she wanted a divorce. My first question was, "Is there someone else?" and I was told no. But it didn't ring true and I did some investigating. Now if she had found someone else and fallen in love, it would have hurt tremendously, but eventually I would have been able to let her go and wish her well. Turns out the truth was much more painful and harder to accept. She was meeting guys (yes, plural) online, and then hooking up with them in person while I was at work, and I was completely clueless. Should I have been happier that she was just out being a slut instead of in love with someone else? Cheating sucks no matter how you break it down. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 2:50:20 PM | They are both equally as bad. A there is no difference in my book. Emotional or sexual its not Coke or Pepsi. Its all the same cheating. If someone cheated on me emotionally I wouldn't say they emotionally cheated I would say they CHEATED. If it was sexual I would say that they cheated on me with just sex and there wasn't no "feelings." I would just say they CHEATED on me.
Sorry no real difference in my eyes I would be just as upset either way because like I just explained its all cheating to me.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:02:56 PM | | Cheating is cheating. Both are unexcusable. If yon need to be with someone else in any way you should be adult about it and tell your SO prior to anything happening. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:21:04 PM |
Emotional cheating involves a connection, and is something that has to go on for a while before it gets to the point where it is actually cheating. Its the ultimate form of betrayal, giving your heart to someone only to have them giving their's to more than just you.
Both types are very painful to the person being cheated on. But agree with the emotional cheating to be the worse. My first husband cheated sexually, and it was horrible, very painful, and ended our marriage. The second cheated emotionally, and of course sexually, which he denies, which I don't believe, that was sooo much more painful, hurt me more than I've ever been hurt before, and ended our marriage. Messed with me in a very negative way mentally. But with counciling, I overcame all the negative things it made me feel, and to realize he did this on his own, and didn't really have anything to do with me.
But there's not too much lower in my eyes than a cheater, of any kind! | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:12:12 PM | Hmmm, that's a tough call there. I can't give you a one or the other answer. Both are seen in my mind as ultimate betrayal.
One is with heart and soul the other with body there can be no separation, to me between the two. Equally as damaging. IMHO. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:24:05 PM | Either form of cheating is wrong in my opinion. Emotions can be a very powerful aphrodisiac, so I certainly don't place less value on emotional cheating. If a person physically cheats, I think it would be very difficult to be intimate with him/her again and not think of what he/she was doing with the person they cheated with.
I've experienced physical cheating; as you see, I am no longer with that person. I tried, but I couldn't trust him again, so without trust, what's the point in continuing a relationship. Some people can rebuild trust; I could not. I don't cheat; I expect the same from my partner. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:48:15 PM | Both are bad, sometimes it can be worse to be cheated on emotionally than physically. It is like getting stabbed in the back, except it feels like it happens 50 times, with each time going deeper and deeper.
As one peep said, once a cheater, always a cheater. They will always justify their actions and chances are, they WILL cheat again. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:57:53 PM | I believe if you trust someone and they are telling you that you are the only one and there is supposed to be any type of commitment, any form of cheating is not acceptable. It still hurts like hell to know the person you love and care about is giving part of their heart or sharing their body with someone else.
Sharzi | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:25:58 AM | cheating is cheating. doesnt matter if its sexual or emotional.
Both, once a cheater, always a cheater.
thats not true... i was a cheater, now im not a cheater!! | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:40:58 AM | OK, I have to call BS on this one.
The OP wrote:
i think that emtional cheating is worst because that means you are making a connection
This idea is supported by many (mainly female) PoFers.
How many threads have we seen in these very forums that basically say, "Oh why can't a man that you get along with just be friends? Why is it always about sex?"
But now being friends, making a non-sexual connection to a member of the opposite sex, is now a sin to be avoided. Who are these men that women want to be pals with? Are they in relationships too? How do their GFs feel about the friendship that you feel is so innocent?
You decry men for wanting sex, but apparently that's more innocent than just watching the game together.
This seems like a nuanced version of "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to want you either." | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:19:14 AM |
How many threads have we seen in these very forums that basically say....
The same thing over and over?
Another one of them is "Why can't people accept me for who I am?"
I may be a forked tongued prevaricator, but underneath I'm just a regular guy... | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:24:01 AM | Either way I would end the relationship, so the point is kind of moot. I don't think that I would rationalize it as, "Well, they only had sex.... she LOVES me."
I would say that emotional cheating is harder to find out about.... but I say they're equal in terms of being horrendously bad things to do to someone. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:27:22 AM | Wow.
These results surprise me.
I disagree with almost all of y'all.
Love it, lol!
Ya, any cheating is bad, but the OP accepts that and asks which is worse.
I reassert my original risk assessment:
If a woman cheats on me emotionally I might get a broken heart. I can get over a broken heart.
If she cheats on me physically, I might get an incurable virus. I don't think I could get over an incurable virus. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:26:56 AM | i think i may have worded my question wrong. i did say that both are bad but what i meant to say was which one is easier to get over or work out. meaning if your partner cheated on you in either way and you were going to give them another chance which one would be harder to work out. i know both are horrible but i just think when you give your heart to someone else and sharing things with them that you should be sharing with you partner is just awful.  | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:14:03 AM |
i think i may have worded my question wrong. i did say that both are bad but what i meant to say was which one is easier to get over or work out. meaning if your partner cheated on you in either way and you were going to give them another chance which one would be harder to work out. i know both are horrible but i just think when you give your heart to someone else and sharing things with them that you should be sharing with you partner is just awful.
Well since you put it this way. If I was going to give someone a second chance when they cheated on me. I'd have to say sexual. When it was just sex no emotional connections. But the problem is with me now (not younger) I see sex as a bond between two partners. I would not have sex just for sex. Yes I know that's not "general" for a guy, but I'm not like most guys.
But if they did it to me a second time no 3rd chances. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:04:26 PM | Forgive me for sounding out of the loop, but aren't they the same??
i found out that my ex had been having an affair with my best friend (some friend), he woke me up one Sunday morning with the news that he wanted a divorce and they were going to get together.... so that is where my question lays... aren't they the same thing ?
needless to say, we split up...... and she dumped his ass....
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:54:16 PM |
i think i may have worded my question wrong. i did say that both are bad but what i meant to say was which one is easier to get over or work out. meaning if your partner cheated on you in either way and you were going to give them another chance which one would be harder to work out. i know both are horrible but i just think when you give your heart to someone else and sharing things with them that you should be sharing with you partner is just awful.
My first husband cheated sexually, gave him another chance, he done it again. Very painful. But the worst one for me was the emotional one, exactly for the reason you stated. Took me a lot longer to get over that one. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:03:36 PM |
How many threads have we seen in these very forums that basically say, "Oh why can't a man that you get along with just be friends? Why is it always about sex?"
But now being friends, making a non-sexual connection to a member of the opposite sex, is now a sin to be avoided. Who are these men that women want to be pals with? Are they in relationships too? How do their GFs feel about the friendship that you feel is so innocent?
Trailsman: I don't think you are talking about the same thing as emotional cheating. My ex had female friends, which was not a big deal. I work with lots of men, and consider them to be friends. An emotional affair is a different thing altogether. My ex travelled for work pretty often, and at the ten year point of our marriage, he confessed that he had had a one night stand with a woman when he was out of province. It happened when we had been together about 8 yrs, and honestly, I own some responsibility for it too, because it was a very rough patch in our lives, and I was not very nice to be around (No, I am not excusing him....just saying, I could see how it could happen) . Anyway, I considered the circumstances, and the fact that he swore to me that it was only that one time, and that he truly seemed to feel remorse, and I got over it. In the big picture, that hookup had nothing at all to do with what eventually broke us up, almost ten years later. I can tell you, though, that if I thought for one second that he LOVED someone else, sex or no sex, I would be crushed, and not very likely to forgive or forget. The idea that he might tell someone that he loved her, or that he might sing to her, or call her in the middle of the day to tell her he was thinking of her, buy special gifts for her, and generally do the loving things with her that he did with me....would drive me stark, raving, mad...no hope after that kind of betrayal. | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:11:14 PM | | hmmm. He gets caught hiring a hooker Vs he gets caught with your best friend of 20 years, which sucks more? They printed his name in the paper for being a "John". He's also a Senator and you know you'll have to stand next to him in front of the press while he tells the world he didn't know she had a penis and you're working your problems out. | |
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Deonyx
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Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 48 | |
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| Which is the worst form of cheating?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:47:09 AM |
Trailsman: I don't think you are talking about the same thing as emotional cheating.
I appreciate the nuance of your argument. However, many women see an emotional affair where only friendship exists. Or perhaps they accurately see their man develop feelings for a female in their life, but don't give him the credit that he can exercise some moral self discipline. Reality is perception. | |
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