| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:17:42 PM | | Lost faith in men? No- I haven't even lost faith in this site. I found who I thought was the love of my life on here two and a half years ago, but, saddly, I am back on here again. Some people just never loose faith because that's who they are- the optimists of the world! We wouldn't be here looking if we didn't still believe that someone perfect for us was out there somewhere! | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:21:37 PM |
I have lost faith in people in general, if you want to know the truth. Ditto on that. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:12:49 AM | | i have been on many dates and have found that men rarely if ever are true to their word, i had a date with someone who said he was fun and outgoing, turns out he wasnt but wanted to be. He said he had no friends and alarm bells should have rang immediately but he seemed so sweet and genuine. After a day he was making plans for what we should do and how my friends should come to his place for a party etc. we had a great date but when i told him i didnt want a party for my upcoming birthday he went nuts and called me the vilest names imaginable, said he was going to slash his wrists and generally overreacted. you might know him, he is on here!! | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:38:24 AM | Absolutely not, as to lose faith in something implies you've closed yourself off and turned you're back. We've all come across people who seem genuine and sincere and to allow a person the chance to get to know who you are and what you have to offer the world is not losing a piece of yourself but rather gaining, experience in life and love...better to have loved (or lusted ) and lost than not at all. If that person turns out to be something other than what you expected or believed, or in general a person whom you feel is not worthy of any more of your time, attention or effort, chalk it up as another experience and move on. To allow that to make you bitter or fearful is having lost a lot more! One door closes and another opens as a very wise man once told me....cheers dad!!  | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 57 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:12:38 AM | Love is action. It isnt' intentions, or thoughts, or vibes; its action. We all should look at the actions of the person, and make sure that they are for us.
^^^ Thats pretty much it...beautifully said infact.
Sadly...alot of men are so afraid of failing and scared in general...that they either become passive aggressive...or self sabotage situations so that they dont have to "fail"
Partially its true that its due to women's expectations as well but if you communicate and work together instead of retreating ie. show action towards achieving.
...then you still manage to keep a womans respect unless she's completely self absorbed and has unrealistic expectations.
I love and respect a man because he tries...not whether he manages to grab that brass ring.
Women should convey that more too ^^^ show appreciation to a man who tries rather than verbally beat him out for failing cos most people (men) are far harder on themselves than anyone else could be.
Have you lost faith in men?
No. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:13:11 AM | Only men online
We're not all the same.
I do think that people, especially women, are so fearful of being hurt that they competely shut themselves off to letting others in though. I see so many beautiful women on here and I think to myself that either they are just picky as hell or they've been hurt in the past. Either way, if they continue to follow the same path that they are on now, men might as well give up now because they don't stand a chance.
Seems to me that a lot of women have already made up their minds when it comes to men and are actually content with it. It's a shame because there are some really good one's out there. Sure there are assholes too but that shouldn't prevent anyone from continuing their search. Just chalk those people up as duds and be happy that they showed themselves for who they really are. And that's a good thing.
No one said this dating thing is easy. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:21:30 AM | | i agree with you. I'm sure that many guys do this. I know for a fact that women do to. with the way i've been treated by women i've lost a lot of faith in them and beginning to lose faith in God. How can he create such people? I know its their choice but wouldnt he have made as many people who arent that way? Where they at? | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:22:10 AM | | Have not lost faith. I judge each perosn for who they are. some are good and some are bad. you got to weed through the bad to get to the good. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 61 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:28:30 AM | I do think that people, especially women, are so fearful of being hurt that they competely shut themselves off to letting others in though.
I can only speak for myself here ...but I dont let alot of people in (men) simply because...well frankly...most men will have sex with a woman whether they give a damn about her or not.
I only allow someone into my bed because I have genuine feelings for them, but not everyone's like that and I dont hold people who dont *do* that in high esteem.
Its their choice I know...but my choice is not to be involved with people like that cos whether or not they'd assume *I* have issues...on my scale...theirs faaaaar exceed anything I could possibly dream up.
To perpetually indulge in outside influences/people rather than becoming introspective to not have to face reality doesnt fix anything. Dont care who says different or how anyone wants to rationalise it to themselves.
Im no fool...Ive been married, Ive been single, Ive not had children, Ive had them, Ive suffered grief and loss, Ive been happy, Ive lived wildly and free...and accepted my responsibilites...Ive a fairly well rounded life and life experiences.
they are just picky as hell or they've been hurt in the past.
Picky to the degree I wanna sift through the broken men ...and as far as being hurt, well everyone has.
Its more about a balance and finding a man in atleast somewhat of the same place as me.
I *do* wanna give myself/share of myself to a man...not just any man...and I wanna know he'll atleast do his best to understand what Im giving him is worth caring about.
And thats what I offer in return. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:34:58 AM | I can only speak for myself here ...but I dont let alot of people in (men) simply because...well frankly...most men will have sex with a woman whether they give a damn about her or not.
True. But take it slow. If a man wants to rush you into sex, I'm pretty sure you know what's up. And if he truly likes you for you, then he will wait and still be around afterwards.
Picky to the degree I wanna sift through the broken men ...and as far as being hurt, well everyone has.
Its more about a balance and finding a man in atleast somewhat of the same place as me.
Yes I understand that as well because men want the same. It's just some people out there will never be satisfied with anyone and will use any fault as an excuse to not even get to know them much less get involved. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 63 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:39:54 AM |
True. But take it slow. If a man wants to rush you into sex, I'm pretty sure you know what's up. And if he truly likes you for you, then he will wait and still be around afterwards
Oh...Im pretty well versed in who is/isnt a quality man
And no...that doesnt mean Id make a guy *wait* just for the hell of it...sex is a natural, beautiful and fun part of a relationship. hehe...
Ive always chosen wonderful men...and dont have any horror stories in my closet.
Yes I understand that as well because men want the same. It's just some people out there will never be satisfied with anyone and will use any fault as an excuse to not get involved.
I'll just quote myself here...VVV
Sadly...alot of men are so afraid of failing and scared in general...that they either become passive aggressive...or self sabotage situations so that they dont have to "fail"
Partially its true that its due to women's expectations as well but if you communicate and work together instead of retreating ie. show action towards achieving.
...then you still manage to keep a womans respect unless she's completely self absorbed and has unrealistic expectations.
I love and respect a man because he tries...not whether he manages to grab that brass ring
And this again...
Love is action. It isnt' intentions, or thoughts, or vibes; its action. We all should look at the actions of the person, and make sure that they are for us. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:46:54 AM | Sadly...alot of men are so afraid of failing and scared in general...that they either become passive aggressive...or self sabotage situations so that they dont have to "fail"
Partially its true that its due to women's expectations as well but if you communicate and work together instead of retreating ie. show action towards achieving.
...then you still manage to keep a womans respect unless she's completely self absorbed and has unrealistic expectations.
I love and respect a man because he tries...not whether he manages to grab that brass ring
Failure is to be expected and actually welcomed. It's how you learn. But if a man has to constantly keep trying because the woman feels she shouldn't have to, is that fair?
And you're right, love is action and actions do speak louder than words. But if one's words are seen as meaningless dribble, then any of their actions will be in vain. Actions and words do go hand in hand to an extent. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 65 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:57:27 AM |
Failure is to be expected and actually welcomed. It's how you learn. But if a man has to constantly keep trying because the woman feels she shouldn't have to, is that fair?
Not at all.
And let me quote myself again...
I love and respect a man because he tries...not whether he manages to grab that brass ring.
Women should convey that more too ^^^ show appreciation to a man who tries rather than verbally beat him out for failing cos most people (men) are far harder on themselves than anyone else could be.
Just a little word of wisdom to men.
The woman that loves you the most is not the one that makes it easiest...nor the one that makes you jump through ridiculous hoops...its the one that'll meet you halfway.
Learn to recognise her instead of perpetually jumping from one to another.
Which is another reason to not be flippant in your relations with people or get involved with people who are flippant...cos they're sooooo busy looking looking looking...they dont even know what they're looking for or lost until they've already lost it.
(Works for women too) | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:01:14 AM | I'm jumping into this one kind of late, but I had to say something that has probably already been said.
Not getting a response to your email doesn't mean that the person who wrote you is a jaded, bitter wretch who has been hurt deeply and isn't seeing your greatness because of how horribly hurt she has been. It could mean that, but about 98% of the time it just means that she isn't attracted to your pictures or didn't like your profile. It's simple, really.
And I thought the men-folks were the ones who were supposed to look at things simply.
But to answer the question, no, I haven't lost faith in anyone. There are a lot of horrible **stards out there, but my horrible **stard radar works pretty well. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:10:03 AM | Does mean I still have to mow the lawn?
Any man who mows the lawn gets a point on my scorecard.
What can I say?...I like watching a man do manstuff. *woohoo*
And I thought the men-folks were the ones who were supposed to look at things simply.
Men are...by faaaaar... more complex than any woman Ive ever met. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:33:42 AM | Men are...by faaaaar... more complex than any woman Ive ever met.
Oh really now? You mean we're not just a bunch of sex crazed guys looking for a piece of action? That some of us actually want more? And that we can be hurt?
How dare you think that way. You're actually making me realize that there's hope for women afterall. 
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 70 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:46:57 AM |
Oh really now? You mean we're not just a bunch of sex crazed guys looking for a piece of action? That some of us actually want more? And that we can be hurt?
SHHH...geez...dont tell ALL women that!
*whacks him* 
Its hard enough for me to find a man that wont run away from me as it is.
Last thing I need to do is give other women a heads up. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 72 | |
| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:59:36 AM | Maybe you should come mow my lawn?
pffft...*aint ever gonna happen*
Hope that doesnt...umm...lets see...hurt your feelings?
Have you lost faith in men?
Nah...I just put em in their place
Besides...some dummy will fall for my feminine wiles at some point.
*hopes...prays...*
*thinks bout puttin up another boobie pic* LOL! | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:05:29 AM |
Oh really now? You mean we're not just a bunch of sex crazed guys looking for a piece of action? That some of us actually want more? And that we can be hurt?
Whoever's trying to sell this propaganda, cut it out! | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:11:15 AM |
Hope that doesnt...umm...lets see...hurt your feelings?
No, I'm used to it.
But go ahead with the pic anyway. | |
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| Have you lost faith in men?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:33:06 AM | The "favorites" thing is so ridiculous. Why can't you guys see that there are so many silly women on here who are just "collecting" favorites? By adding you, they are betting you'll add them back. And for a bunch of them, it probably works. These women (the ones who use POF as a popularity contest) aren't interested in you personally, they just want to be on your favorites list.
I read in the forums all the time about people who email someone who added them to their favorites, and got either a read/delete or an unread/delete. "Why did she add me to her favorites if she isn't interested in me??" Because she's trying to increase her own numbers, that's why! There are men who do this too.
I had an old account on here, but I deleted it. Then I made one that was just for the forums, with a screen name that made that clear. Now I've got this one. All three of those accounts had this one guy who lives a long way away from here add them to his favorites list. He's one of those "top 500" people and all he's doing is collecting favorites and votes on his picture ratings. I am pretty sure that if I emailed this guy, I'd get either a "read/delete" or even an "unread/delete." On my first profile, I removed myself from his faves, and he added me right back about a week later. He's not even paying attention to who he's already added, he's just adding people at random.
I wish everyone would stop taking the "favorites" thing so seriously, because just like everything else, one certain group of idiots has turned it into something that it's not intended for. That's the drawback of being able to see how many favorites lists someone is on, there are people who use that for some kind of juvenile contest, like "look at me, see how popular I am? don't you wish YOU could have me?"
There are actually people like me who forget to even look at my favorites list for weeks on end. If someone adds me I don't even know about it for a while because I don't get the email notificaitons. Not everyone is obsessed with the favorites...it would serve everyone better not to take them seriously at all, because they are meaningless. | |
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