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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:24:31 AM | | my cousin tells his dad when he won't give him something.. OK but remember i get to pick out the nursing home you go to | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:44:54 AM | There is a saying... "Be nice to your children, they pick your nursing home". I feel that saying is valuable for the neglectful, abusive type parents. In fact, when I see elderly in the nursing home that have been abandoned by family, I dont automatically hold judgement against the adult children. That elder person just may have deserved what they are getting! I know of a few aging elders that have NOBODY to blame but themselves. (Karma)
However... for an adult child to hold that as a threat over their aging parent... that is Bullsh1t and easily resolved. Adult children make the mistaken assumption they will have that authority over their parents. NOPE... Aging parents can declare a neighbor as their POA (Power of Attorney) if they want to.
If you see an elderly person being blackmailed by their adult children... have a talk with that elder person... remind them they CAN change their POA to somebody else. And offer to help them get to the lawyer appt, so-forth, to make those changes possible.
What your cousin is doing, is a form of emotional abuse and someone needs to help put a stop to it. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:25:05 AM | I thank goodenss every day that my 93 year old grandmother is still in relatively good health and can still live on her own. I go over regularly to make sure she's ok and to do her house work, groceries and whatnot. If worse came to be, I'd have her move in with me or I'd move in with her becaause I really don't like the idea of possible abuse and neglect that is so common in nursing homes. Furthermore, she's been living in her paternal house where her parents and sibblings lived and died, and she wants the same for herself. If I can grant her this, I'll do everything in my power to make it so. She deserves the best and she deserves to die in dignity.
I have an aunt who was placed in a nursing home due to mental health issues and her not taking her pills properly. Just last week she had to be sent to the Douglas hospital because the nurse at the home was not giving my aunt the proper dose of medication. We found out that she was almost comatose because of the overdosage. GGEEEEEZZZZEEE! That's scary.
Nope, no nursing homes for Grandma and I pray to die before I ever get sent to one too. Indeed, suicide or euthansia sounds like much better alternatives. I wonder when this will actually be a possibility for us in Canada, as I have read euthanasia
is possible in Australia. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:49:10 PM | | I find them sad. All the people there feel stuck there and left out from society and can't wait to get out if they can. I have a grandmother who's only been at one for a month cuz of a broken ankle and she hates it, but luckily she'll be out soon. As for the others that are thrown in there by relatives I feel bad for them because the neglect in those places is the worst. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:32:30 PM | This is so sad to see how many negative responses there are here. I provide Physiotherapy services in Long term care and Retirement homes here in Southwestern Ontario and have seen many different facilities.
There have been many changes in geriatric health care in the last few years , and hopefully many more to come. Government legislation has provided many programs of life enrichment, with lots and lots of activities, outings, events and classes on a daily basis. There is an actual number of hours of activities that must be provided per day ( it escapes me at the moment )
Many of the homes I go into are excellent, and the residents are very happy. I consider it extremely unfair of some family members who think keeping some-one in their own home alone 90 % of the time is more caring than placing them in a retirement or nursing home where they recieve good nutrition, supervised activities and good company of other residents and staff.
Take your time when looking for a placement, and pick the one best suited for your loved-one's needs , not yours. You might not be happy in a LTC facility, but they very well might be. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 11:37:37 AM | My great aunt was taken care of by my mother (who is a registered ((retired)) nurse) until my mother couldn't do it any longer due to my aunt's physical care needs. She was then placed into a nursing home for a short period of time until she passed away. I know my mother did everything within her power to keep my aunt at home but she just required so much more than that.
On the other hand, my grandmother was able to maintain in her home with 24/7 round the clock nursing care until she passed last November. She had the ability to financially do that. My mother spent every weekend for years staying with her and helping them out.
It's not an easy choice however, there are wonderful nursing homes that really do take wonderful care of their clients. That being said, I think the important part is that there's also family that engages in the nursing home environment and makes it a priority to be there for their family member, for the duration.
My siblings and I are just starting to have the conversations about what we will do if our mother needs a higher level of care down the road. Our intent will be to have her stay with us and not go into a nursing home unless her needs surpass our ability to take care of possible serious medical issues. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:47:02 PM | I would go visit my Grandmother and saw her once forced to wear a party hat because it was someones birthday. She looked silly. One woman said she just wanted to go to her room but they wouldnt let her. They are treated like little kids. I feel for them and hope I never end up in one.
My mom has died but if she was alive and unable to live alone, either I or my sister would have taken her. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:25:10 PM | After my long stay in the hospital, I had to go for rehab in what use to be called a "nursing home", (here in VA, for continued govt. funding, they've had to change that name and agree to take in a percentage of people needing short term physical rehab).
I was there 2 weeks.
Horrible place.
They hated having me there. Why? Because I was there 24 hours a day and saw all that was really going on AND was "of sound mind".
They couldn't get away with anything as far as how they wanted to 'do' my care!
Nor did I let them get away with treating my room mate as horribly as they were before I got there. Poor old dear.
They so much more would have rather have all "out of it" patients.. who couldn't understand what was really going on around them.
I wrote a very long report against them once I was home... with dates and times of infractions I saw. I mailed it to the big-wigs.
They took action and much of the staff is long gone now. Hopefully they are staying on top of things a bit more ... but I really wonder if they are.
As many have said here, there are some well run and some poorly run. And then there are some that are almost the pits of hell. It's incredibly sad and horrific. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:52:36 PM | "I get to pick out your nursing home"...lol...no...you don't. And, you are cut out of the will, and no longer have power of attounrney...now get out.
We can all have horror stories.
But there are a lot of people who really go out of their way to make things nice and comfortable for the unwanted aged. Why did I choose the word unwanted? Because nobody in the family wants to care for them in their home. Either they feel they can't afford it, don't have the time, don't have room. What happened years ago when an elderly parent could no longer care for themselves? The family did it. Usually one would take them in, the others would help out as much as possible...like coming in for a weekend, or donating a bit of cash, or paying for healthcare. Something. Not in todays society. We warehouse our elderly until they die off.
Smaller families have something to do with that. Inability to pay for the extra person, not having close contact with each other...all kinds of things. One of the most common reasons, yet least talked about, is simple selfishness. The "I want it all, I want it now" generation is being left to care for the old ones. Well, what do they get out of it? Not a lot...so, they don't want to bother. It interfers with carreers, vacations, childrearing, their "lifestyle". Why bother putting yourself out at all when you can simply ship them into a home?
I do know that many just can't handle an aging parent. Perhaps for awhile...but not indefinitely. It is difficult. In todays societyoften it just can't be done, unless you are super rich and want to do it. Not many like that right now.
With a larger growing pool of people over 65 and better health care allowing them to live longer, we , as a society, are not ready to look after all these people. Taxes alone will increase, while pensions will shrink. Places for the elderly are already in high demand...with waiting lists of two years or more. People recovering from operations, etc...can't be left in a hospital ay longer. They need to be moved out to a facility that can help them until such time as they are ready to go home.
With more operations, etc, more people are going to need these short term care facilities.
Investment programs need to be addressed now in order for all these things to be paid for. Nobody is going to be doing this for minimum wage...it costs quite a bit. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:06:54 PM | lot lizard raises a valid point in her post. I volunteered in a seniors' home for several years, and saw both ends of the spectrum. Those residents whose family members phoned and/or called on a regular basis seemed to have a happier disposition, more content and less worried, than those who rarely, if at all, saw their children or siblings.
My only negative comment in regard to the one I volunteered in was that there was only one nurse on duty each shift, responsible for nearly 100 residents, while there used to be two on duty every day. Also, where there were once as many as six resident aide/housekeepers on duty per shift, there were now only three or four...responsible for bathing and dressing those residents who couldn't do it themselves, along with cleaning the rooms.
The majority of the nursing homes I have visited in recent years are a far cry from the depressing, dark, and boring ones that existed before regulations were put in place by the local and federal governments. I can remember my first full time summer job in a local nursing home, one where people simply sat around, literally waiting to die. Some of them were brought down to the TV room, and only went to their rooms to sleep, while others were tied into easy chairs next to their beds. These people rarely went out for outings with family, other than to go for medical appointments.
I am a caregiver who goes into private homes to help seniors with their housekeeping and ADLs (activities of daily living). Organizations such as the one I work for exist so that seniors do not have to go to a seniors' residence or nursing home until either their physical or mental state deems it necessary. So nursing homes can be the last ressort. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:21:54 PM | I think they are essential for some people who need chronic care and assistance with everyday living. In Ontario there are some pretty good retirement homes and nursing homesand many retirement communities. There are many options for aged people that need assistance. Some have gardens, field trips, social gatherings,and other activities.
I think its important for people to seek the best options for their loved ones rather than just shutting them away in some home. | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:36:27 AM | Isn't there an office or organization that keeps track of complaints against nursing homes? Some kind of ombudsman or something like that? There must be some way to research a home or their owners...
Yes, where i work there is somthing called corprate compliance, where anyone cn call and make a complaint, or a compliment. I do work in a nursing home, as a houskeeper. But what somebody had said earlier, i would much rather die in a nursing home, where i have the staff who knows me well, than in a hospital where i am just a typical old person. I never thought i would work in a nursing home, they used to scare me, but i love my patients, or we call them residents. when i see somone go home i miss them alot, but i am glad they are going home to their real family. we have somthing in place called eden. it basically goes with residents rights, but it also lets the residents bend the rules. Edeen trys to make it less like a institutuion, and more like a home. Any one reading this with family in a nursing home or who works in one should talk to your administrator in getting this. We bring in animals, we have two home cats, which the nursing home purchased, and two resident cats which the residents brought in, we also have birds(in a cage) and fish. Which makes it so kids love to visit. People bring in dogs, and we have the saginaw zoo in at leats once every year. The "Eden Tools'', are plants, (which we have many of them around the building, and our residents help take care of them)Animals, and Children. We have seen resident suicide thoughts go down since we put these Tools in our home. It does get overwhelming when we aree understaffed, but We put our residents first. and anyone who wants to know more about eden or how to start it you can email me via POF. And the food is good, we have a chef and a wonderful kitchen staff. And we always have activities for the residents every day. We take them on outings, like baseball games, and we take them to the Fair every year, and we do fundraisers with them so they are involved. We are a big family, and i have adopted some new grandparents there. I call them grandma, or uncle, aunt what ever they want. And for the most part they are happy. Being somwhere you dont have ur true family, its hard to be happy. We actually had a family member last year purchase gifts for every resident in the home, and we buy christmas gifts to. So its not all nursing homes are the same, And i hope granholm goes into a Edenized nursing home, because she will love it!! | |
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| What do you feel about nursing homes?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:24:36 PM | My Mom was in a nursing home 8 months before she died...very sad to see the neglect that happened there. I spent alot of time with her and had several run ins with the staff .Many times she would ring the bell to go to the washroom and it would be 20 minutes before anyone came , I found her in wet diapers several times , one time they told me she wasnt getting anymore because she used to many that day..needless to say..I lost it .
When she was near death and admitted to the hospital , the doctors were shocked to see the condition of her butt...skin between the cheeks were severly blistard and raw from not being washed and cleaned properly. I would NEVER want to endure what many of those old souls had to live with everyday....we ended up calling the board of health on this place..but they are still open and in business in Hamilton Ont on upper Gage...
its like the song goes...." hope I die before I get old" | |
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