| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:24:29 AM | | Homophobic to me seems to be so uncomfortable with the thought of homosexuality that you react inappropriately to it, such in ways of anger or prejudice, insults etc... | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:35:33 AM | If someone referred to you as a heterosexual, wouldn't it strike you as a bit insulting?
No.
And why would that be insulting, if thats what i am?
Homophobic to me seems to be so uncomfortable with the thought of homosexuality that you react inappropriately to it, such in ways of anger or prejudice, insults etc...
I feel uncomfortable around people who smoke and react badly to it, dont know if there's a phobia for that though.
People take this homophobia thing way out of context, there are nutcases who kill gay people and they are evil-does it mean that everyone who finds themselves uncomfortable around homosexuals the enemy?
Hell no.
I dont have anything against homosexuals or gay or whatever you want to call it, what i do have a problem with is people who bash others for being uncomfortable around them.
We reproduce sexually and its an impulse at the very core of our being-hard coded into our dna and collective instinct to do so and when we are around other people who do not and are not attracted to the opposite sex then we'll feel a little uncomfortable-its natural to.
Want to sharpen your politically correct teeth and have a go at me for writing this? go ahead-i give as good as i get :) | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:56:39 AM | I believe homophobia is an irrational fear of the homosexual. I mean that literally, fear of the homosexual. Not things that can be perceived as something a homosexual would DO or SAY..actually being terrified by the thought/existence of homosexuals.
Now, some people are terrified that people will perceive them as a homosexual. I do not think that is homophobia..I'm sure it's some ridiculous thing ending in "phobia".
My two cents. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:43:58 AM |
I believe homophobia is an irrational fear of the homosexual. I mean that literally, fear of the homosexual. Not things that can be perceived as something a homosexual would DO or SAY..actually being terrified by the thought/existence of homosexuals.
Now, some people are terrified that people will perceive them as a homosexual. I do not think that is homophobia..I'm sure it's some ridiculous thing ending in "phobia".
Actually homophobia was originally coined to describe a person who has an unreasonable fear of being perceived as homosexual that they hyper react to sexuality issues in extremes. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:09:08 AM | If you don't associate with them purely because of there sexuality, I would say that you're prejudice against them... but not that you're necessarily afraid of them.
i dont associate with them because they are gay because i dont think i would have anything in common with them being gay ......i would associate with them on another level disregarding their sexuality
If you automatically *won't* date outside your race, no matter or not if the person fits all of your other criteria; then you are a racist, yes? If you are automatically *repulsed* at the idea of someone of the same sex touching you sensually, are you a homophobe?
i disagree with this on both counts i have friends of all races ...close friends ....and they will tell you i harbor no racism ....but would i date them ? probably not ...why? sexual preference im not attracted to women of another race .....or havent been yet ..... and all my black friends understand this ...i have a black woman friend we are close we go out ...hug /kiss / have slept in the same bed but nothing sexual she knows i dig white chicks and has fixed me up with several but dosent even try to fix me up with black chicks ...there is no problem between us ...she does date white guys and i have helped her with that also
im not repulsed with a person being gay ...just be gay with someone else .... I could be friends with a openly gay person ...but there would have to be a discussion /understanding that i would be repulsed by any sexual interaction /advance toward me
homophobia Me thinks is to broad a term ...it seams to encompass the people that define their sexuality as strictly heterosexual all the way to the gay hating bigots ...i think we need some more descriptive terms ...being as homophobia has become such a derogatory term
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:32:39 AM | Some of the touchy feely political correctness in this thread made me giggle.
By some peoples definitions, because I do not have my penis in some guys mouth right this moment, I must be a lunatic homophobic hate generating freak. I hope that some of the posts are really well done sarcasm. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:52:25 AM | yea the touchy feely way homophobia has been approached is the reason i felt the need to discuss this subject
it just seams of late that you cant state your preference of being strictly heterosexual without being accused of being homophobic ....why are we walking on egg shells to be politically correct on this matter....sure there has been injustices against gay people like any other group ......I as a white person can live my life with no social contact with people of another race ...yet that in its self dont label me a raciest .....but if i dont hang out with gay people im suddenly homophobic ....go figure
now to avoid incidental or professional contact would imply prejudice ....but a person should not be labeled for choosing his social contacts /friends any way his interest dictates | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:07:31 AM | deerdog,
To me, this { insert any polarizing issue you wish } exists on a continuum.
It could be racism, it could be homophobia it could be an aversion to green eggs and ham.
All of my life, I have heard people tell me that they are not racist- usually against blacks, African-Canadian, jews or whatever yet have never had a minority friend in their life, have never had any black people/AC/j/g in their home although they have worked with one or have invited other people of non-minority status into their homes.
So it is a matter of latent whatever it is as opposed to patent.
It is somewhat semi-benign homophobia/racism/whatever by exclusion rather than actively going after them. or pronouncing disgust or whatever at their activities.
It is a mild form of 'whatever' . it's a live and let live approach which makes a lot of sense to everyone when they are the one doing the choosing.
This brings to mind those weirdos who seem to collect 1 gay male friend, 1 gay female friend, 1 black guy, 1 mexican, 1 whatever in order to proudly announce " yeah.. my gay friend Bill " or " yeah , I eat at El burrito loco " as if this somehow absolves them of all their other horrible traits...or that they are a better person because of it.lol..
Not better than someone else: better than they would be if they were to not have the friend.
or maybe better than someone else.. who cares..
I am not talking about people who actually have 1 of each of the above. They are not running around telling anyone anything- they just do their thing.
I am specifically talking about those people who perversely announce this fact and take great pride in it.
For some gay people, or activist groups- these mildly repulsed people are the enemy as well and they wish to point out the error of your ways.
THe activist groups want you to come down from the fence and take a stand as they are being pummelled by the right wing crowd and want you to join in the fight- since you don't seem to care either way.
It's similar to the argument involving the moderate religious people who seem to allow the extremist groups to continue. If the moderates would do something other than adopt the " meh. what can you do? " attitude, these people believe that the scourge of the extremists could be wiped out.
There is no error of your ways. It is a lifestyle not of your choosing and you don't wish to participate or endorse.
In all likelihood, you have associated with homosexuals...errr ....gay people many times throughout your life yet didn't notice them. They were your teacher or your doctor, the fireman, the guy on the bike next to you who rode in the annual "motorcyclists against cancer " ride or whatever else is described in that touchyfeely pamphlet that is sent out on international day against homophobia.
BAsed upon what you have said - out of a scale of 10, your homophobia rating would be about a 3-5 range. maybe...
It is not a linear scale so anyone given a rating of 6 would be much more racist /homophobic than you- maybe by a factor or 2 or whatever.
The end point is the raving lunatics who decide it is their mission from god to destroy all those people having same sex partners.
The other end point include those straight people who wouldn't mind sitting down watching the superbowl while two gay men are doing each other. Watching the superbowl or football in general is a very popular homosexual ..err.. gay activity actually- watching men in tights clutching at balls from between another person's leg-- done while standing behind another man's a$$ no less.
Many gay men watch Mike HOlmes holmes on homes.
If you lived in Canada, you may have watched the film Short Bus - very graphic gay sex scenes and one very astounding, limber and flexible fellow fellating himself.. if not actually blowing himself... let's just say that in the end... he swallows like a trooper!.
If you could sit through that and not get up to leave- then you'd be a 2.
Suk Yen Lee is in it- the sex scenes are real and quite graphic.
If you could watch that entire movie without flinching - You're pretty open minded. It may not be for you but it's ok.
AS someone probably said, It may be one of those things that you have to see over and over until you become desensitized to it. So its an experience issue. Some people don't want to desensitize themselves and don't want to experience anything remotely like that- either watching or participating. That is their choice and their prerogative.
I am much more repulsed when I see any scenes depicting cruelty to animals or the fear in a dog's eyes in that dreadful video from ASia. That was just horrific.
Who licks-sucks-pokes what into where of whom is none of my business, until or unless they make it my business. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:33:02 AM | Think about this logically; fearing somebody else's potential thoughts is goofy. Imagine if many women shunned your company for fear that you might perhaps think them attractive?
Now do you see how silly that is? | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:39:46 AM |
It could be racism, it could be homophobia it could be an aversion to green eggs and ham.
Yeah, but eventually he tried the green eggs and ham from Sam I Am... and liked them... a lot!
Sorry, just couldn't resist.
The PC nature of some people on this thread really just cracks me up. They act if I don't actually have sex with other men, then I would somehow be considered homophobic. I know the truth and I think it's actually THEM who has the problem by trying so hard to live up to some ill-conceived ideas of acceptability thrust on us by those who have ulterior motives.
Then again, I'm just a backward-@ssed Texan who those same people probably think lives in a trailer, rides a horse to work, and wears a cowbot hat and boots everyday. Yee-Haw. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:37:51 AM | I think some straight men are uncomfortable around gay men because the straight man doesn't know what to do about the possibility that the gay man might find him attractive and make a pass at him. Or else they think that because he is a man and the gay likes men, it automatically means he will be always after him for sex. He might be afraid of looking stupid, or of becoming violently angry, by how he feels just thinking about it. Anger in this case comes from fear. The problem is that if you are friendly at all with a gay man, is that leading him on, and does it bring your own straightness into question? Will the feelings of aversion or revulsion always be there when he is around, or maybe worse, is there a chance you might get curious and give it a try at some point? That is a fear provoking idea for many.
All of that comes from speculating about the unknown where feelings are unclear. The cure is to make a point to get to know some gays and educate yourself. Then you have the knowledge and social skills to be with gays, and it is no big deal. It is about being comfortable in the situation and not controlled by your fears of the unknown.
Gay men typically do not lust after straight men. A few have a fetish for straights, or one might occasionally fall for a straight man even knowing it is pointless. For the most part though straights have nothing to worry about because gay men want nothing to do with them. Remember that as a straight man you are pretty much the enemy, not the object of desire. In other words, they don't want you in the first place. But on the off chance you get hit on, do you think you can be a good sport and turn it down without getting angry? Or would you need to get upset, and punish someone for having told you they liked you? It's more about your own emotional maturity and social skills than it is about sex. The difference between gays and straights is in who they find themselves attracted to, and otherwise, people are pretty much the same. If you don't know any gays then it makes it easy to have incorrect ideas about them. When you do know gays it becomes clear pretty quick that it's no big deal.
It's a social progress problem. It takes education and a desire to be able to get along with your neighbors, despite whatever prejudices and misconceptions you might have learned so far. We all belong to one or more groups and there are others who take a dim view of us based on what groups we belong to. The way to learn is to make it a point to get to know people from the group that you have the prejudice about. | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:41:58 AM | While i thank every one for their insight on this issue .... and while it really has not been an issoe for me as i know no openly male gay people ... i guess my issue has been the labeling of people as homophobic ...i have seen some very mild comments on these and other forums labeled as homophobic ...and in the interest of curring any social ills that i might harbor ....it was my intent to examine myself as to my degree of bias toward gay people
and not being gay im sure that my bias toward gay people could never be zero just as my being one race ...my racism towards other races could never be zero....this being said I want to be as close to zero as possible ...but in contemplating this i realized that i did not know what constituted bias toward gay people .....because i find sex between two males repulsive even to think about ...why when i dont care what they do in private ...does that label me homo-whatever
none of the blacks who are my friends...and i use black as im not in association with any other races ....place any degree of racism on the fact that i dont find black women sexually attractive ...and i find many of them beautiful but it just doesnt translate to lust for me ....even a black woman that came on to me found no malice in my turning her down ... after i explained that i was attracted to white chicks ...but would love to be her friend ....but it might have helped that i was introduced to her by another black as their good friend
the other day me and my SO was in a family restaurant there was these two very beautiful young women in there at a booth ...making out with each other ...now im not as repulsed about gay acts amongst women as i am males ...guess thats because im male ......but these women were doing and being allowed to do things in public/family setting that would get a heterosexual asked to leave or thrown in jail .....and i think that is wrong ...i stated that in a forum and instantly i was labeled homophobic....by several posters | |
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| homophobic someone define this for me
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:58:31 AM | the very fact that you are questioning your thoughts, checking on your beliefs and assumptions tells me that you are not malignantly racist/ homophobic/ anti Dr. Seuss or whatever else people on bandwagons want to label the rest of us.
tolerance is as much a product of early experience/exposure as well as your genetic make-up. You seem tolerant enough to me.
The funny thing is that I have known openly homosexual people ( damn it,, i used the word homosexual ! the adjective/noun/pronoun police will soon arrive) that are so blatantly racist that I couldn't stand them. This one fellow must have called every AC man a ni%% 3 r 18 times till Sunday. I couldn't put up with him. He told the joke about how black guys can always run faster when they have a television under their arm. That one took the cake.
He thought that I detested him cause he was gay.
I told him straight up that i disliked him because he is a miserable prick who has a horrible outlook to life.
It's alway pathetically sad yet in a very funny sort of way when one minority group- who complains about being labeled or target of prejudism- is outspokenly bigoted / against another minority group.
I dislike people on an individual basis. it takes a little time but since my momma brought me up right and I don't want to seem rude, it seems only fair to do. AS otherwise , the entire fabric of society would unravel... and then who would stitch it back up? | |
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