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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:33:19 PM | Discipline does not have to mean 'beating.' My child is very well-behaved and I haven't spanked or swatted him since he was two -- and I had to, I'd said if he didn't stop, he'd get spanked. And he didn't. So to have any credibility as a parent, I did.
Yes,this is EXACTLY typical. People today can not differenciate the difference between "beating/abuse" and "discipline". They are NOT synonomous,contrary to common belief. You immediately jumped from discipline to abuse,just as the vast majority of the others. Discipline, is done out of love, and wanting that which is best for the child. Having the childs best interest at heart.
Abuse, is done out of anger/frustration, and does NOT have the best interest of the child at heart.
Your response, is why it is very unlikely I am not compatable with a woman that already has children.
Do you realize that you essentualy called me a child beater by saying I should change my setting to "does not want children"?
It is not the first time, and no doubt will not be the last.
If we want to discuss this farther, we will need to open another thread. I do not want to go any farther on this here.
Best wishes
Jerry | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 3:58:53 PM | Alright, OFCB... whether I agree with your personal philosophies or not, you have given a lot of people a lot of help here on this forum and so you deserve the same.
do you recommend correcting? Or staying with "cozy"?
I completely see what Yev is saying, but I disagree. MHO is that you convey 'cozy' or 'charming' or 'quaint' with the words themselves, not with the grammar and punctuation. To me, failing to do these things properly conveys 'lazy' or 'sloppy' or 'stupid' -- none of which are words I would use to describe what I have seen of you. Even a charming country house should have level floors and nails driven in straight... it just has a different style than a penthouse.
If you want, I am willing to help you with the 'polish' part offline. Message me if you'd like - I can't message you due to your mail restrictions.
Pics: I actually know some people who are never -- NEVER -- seen in public without a gimme-cap on their head. If you are one of those people, then I think that your pic is honest, and your About Me explains this just fine. More pics needed, but you and you alone get to ignore the 'take the hat off' comments. :)
Interests: working with stone -- e.g. to make arrowheads -- is 'knapping', not 'napping'. You'll still need to explain what it is because it won't generate any hotlinks, but at least it will be spelt correctly.
About Me:
"loafers, at least I think that's what they're called, sneakers, and work boots." - yes, they're called loafers. Now tht you know that, take out the italicized part because it is aw-shucks mumbling and dirt-kicking. You are who you are; be firm in it.
I noticed the underwear thing too. Yuck. If this is a joke, you're too sincere elsewhere to pull it off; if it's not, then IMHO it's not something to be trumpeting too loudly.
"I attended church for the first thirty years of my life,but have not in the last ten years or so. The church simply became too liberal for my liking." - Based on this sentence and what you have said here, it would seem to me that you are a Fundamentalist (and I use this as a descriptive, not a pejorative term). You may not want to use this term because it does definitely raise a lot of red flags to people, but (if I have read correctly) you will be honestly describing who you are and not drawing anybody on false pretenses. Alternately, you could town it down a little just by saying that you believe strongly in Biblical fundamentals.
First date: it rocks. Nicely done.
I hope this helps. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 4:00:53 PM | Okay, as for the headline, how about something like..."Nature nut, care to hunt some rattlesnakes" (from interests). It's just that some women may see "shrooms", and since the obvious first connection made by most people will be to the "shroom" that makes you hallucinate and whose depiction graces "psychedelic" paraphernalia everywhere, they are likely not to look further. You have a great profile, and even if you do mean hallucinogenics, you are better off saying it in your profile, not the headline. Just my opinion though.
You have a great and very unique interests section, there are some really good and different interests in there (sp: marshmallows).
The punctuation needs an edit, mainly just the spaces between the punctuation, and there are just a few typos and spelling. I also just suggest balancing out the paragraphs and spacing so that you do not have one large paragraph of who you are looking for and several small ones of your about me, just for the appearance of the text and formatting.
Your first date section is great, but just make sure that it's clear it's just an idea and could be good for the second date or later, as they may not want to meet in a remote area, suggesting a more populated place as well would be beneficial. And I would suggest not mentioning any blindfolds being involved in said remote area. Just a thought hehe. And I do really like this section, it's written very well and is very original.
Edit: Okay, now I see "rattlesnakes" has already been done on here. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:32:52 PM | You said:
When asked the question "how do you know when the child has had enough" they are literally "unable" to give ANY answer, or they say, well,three swats. Neither of those are passing answers in my book.
More than three swats constitutes beating, in my book, but not sufficint, to you. How else am I to interpret what you consider is "enough" time striking a child? What is enough to you? When you draw blood? When the child is screaming? When you have to take the kid to the ER? | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:37:01 PM |
More than three swats constitutes beating, in my book, but not sufficint, to you. How else am I to interpret what you consider is "enough" time striking a child? What is enough to you? When you draw blood? When the child is screaming? When you have to take the kid to the ER?
You know when the child has had enough when two things occure. The first is during the disciplinary action. The second is one hour,six hours, and days down the road.
It is enough when the child shows remorse and acceptance of there wrong doing. There is a difference between "yelling/screaming, and "crying" in a way to indicate that the lesson has been learned. Yelling and screaming is nothing more than defiance,being played out vocally. When the kicking and screaming stops, and the crying starts, the child has made the transition from defiance, to acceptance. In todays society, this may not be true in many cases, because many children are not taught to say " I am sorry". But when I grew up, an "I'm sorry" is what ended the spanking. Then,the next indicators are how long does the lesson last. It only stands as a logical conclusion, that if the child is disciplined. And the same behavior is repeated an hour later, the punishment was not effective.
"More than three swats constitutes beating," Ok, let's look at this statement. I am sure you will agree that EVERY child is different. Some are timid and meek, and can be corrected with a "look", in many instances. Then there are varying degrees of strong willed children. You are doing the exact same thing almost all of the other woman I have talked to have done. Apply a specific "number" to the swats. If each child is unique, how can you possibly think the punishment can be a number? That allows no variation for the temperment of the individual child. If you subscribe to the number of three,(only example,not saying you always do three) you MAY be swatting a certain child one more time than was actually needed. THAT in my opinion would classify as ABUSE.
I will always remember my mothers words that she spoke BEFORE she would spank me. First, she would make certain that I understood exactly what I had done wrong. Then she would say I NEED TO BREAK YOUR WILL TO MISBEHAVE.
I thank God for the parents that he gave me, because they cared enough to "straIghten me out" when I needed it. THEY, are what made me the man I am today. I happen to think I am a overall, a good man. Therefore, it would be foolish of me to fail to follow my parents example that they so lovingly gave me.
If you want to comment on this, please open another post, and I will address your question there.
Sincerely
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:49:32 PM | If you want to comment on this, please open another post, and I will address your question there.
Agreed. Whether one agrees or disagrees with OFCB's position, wants to defend him or wants to rip him a new one... it is not appropriate to do so in his profile review thread.
It is as inappropriate to debate the merits or drawbacks of corporal punishment in this thread as it would be to debate the merits of homosexuality in an M4M profile review thread, or to call a woman a slut in her profile review thread if she said that she was looking for an Intimate Encounter.
I know I'm 'new' here... but that seems like a pretty basic rule, no? | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:09:53 PM |
I completely see what Yev is saying, but I disagree. MHO is that you convey 'cozy' or 'charming' or 'quaint' with the words themselves, not with the grammar and punctuation. To me, failing to do these things properly conveys 'lazy' or 'sloppy' or 'stupid' -- none of which are words I would use to describe what I have seen of you. Even a charming country house should have level floors and nails driven in straight... it just has a different style than a penthouse.
Point well made, and taken.
If you want, I am willing to help you with the 'polish' part offline. Message me if you'd like - I can't message you due to your mail restrictions.
Thank you very much!
Pics: I actually know some people who are never -- NEVER -- seen in public without a gimme-cap on their head. If you are one of those people, then I think that your pic is honest, and your About Me explains this just fine. More pics needed, but you and you alone get to ignore the 'take the hat off' comments. :)
For all practical purposes I am that man. lol
Interests: working with stone -- e.g. to make arrowheads -- is 'knapping', not 'napping'. You'll still need to explain what it is because it won't generate any hotlinks, but at least it will be spelt correctly.
Good catch! Thank you for a very thorough review!
About Me:
"loafers, at least I think that's what they're called, sneakers, and work boots." - yes, they're called loafers. Now tht you know that, take out the italicized part because it is aw-shucks mumbling and dirt-kicking. You are who you are; be firm in it.
Hmmmmmmmmm, when you say "italicized part" you mean the part in parenthasis? If you do, I really think that points to my "nature" that I really do not know what they are actually called. That is what I am trying to do, is give them a picture of who I am.
Counter point?
I noticed the underwear thing too. Yuck. If this is a joke, you're too sincere elsewhere to pull it off; if it's not, then IMHO it's not something to be trumpeting too loudly.
LMAO Well, this is going to be a tough call, if I remember correctly, only one other person commented on this. Deuce loved it! LMAO I could be wrong, I need to look to be sure, but I don't think ANY of the ladies commented on that item.
"I attended church for the first thirty years of my life,but have not in the last ten years or so. The church simply became too liberal for my liking." - Based on this sentence and what you have said here, it would seem to me that you are a Fundamentalist (and I use this as a descriptive, not a pejorative term). You may not want to use this term because it does definitely raise a lot of red flags to people, but (if I have read correctly) you will be honestly describing who you are and not drawing anybody on false pretenses. Alternately, you could town it down a little just by saying that you believe strongly in Biblical fundamentals.
Hmmmmmmmmm, I am certainly no bible thumper, although I do by and large base my beliefs on what is written in the Bible. I just added this tonight, after removing the paragraph about marriage. Maybe I can think of a way to change or modify.
First date: it rocks. Nicely done.
I hope this helps.
Thank you very much!
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:11:09 PM | If someone includes in his profile an attitude that is truly going to affect the results he will get on an online dating site, I believe it would be irresponsible not to point out to him the hazards and issues inherent to such a problem.
For instance, if an insanely pompous pseudointellectual revealed himself to be so in his profile, wouldn't you address that? Or would you say, "Oh, yes, very nice profile, you should do well!"
The OP has some serious impediments to dating 99% of all women, according to his own figures. That's a pretty big pink elephant sitting on the rug.
I don't ignore big pink elephants sitting on the rug, but *you* are free to do so, if that's what you consider "giving your honest opinion." | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:21:11 PM |
The punctuation needs an edit, mainly just the spaces between the punctuation, and there are just a few typos and spelling. I also just suggest balancing out the paragraphs and spacing so that you do not have one large paragraph of who you are looking for and several small ones of your about me, just for the appearance of the text and formatting.
I really struggled with getting any spacing in this. It would still be a "block" if a kind soul had not rendered assistance. I am not sure how I can make them more "equal" without mixing "subjects". Am I misunderstanding something here?
Your first date section is great, but just make sure that it's clear it's just an idea and could be good for the second date or later, as they may not want to meet in a remote area, suggesting a more populated place as well would be beneficial. And I would suggest not mentioning any blindfolds being involved in said remote area. Just a thought hehe. And I do really like this section, it's written very well and is very original.
Point well made, and taken, consider it done.
Edit:
Okay, now I see "rattlesnakes" has already been done on here.
LMAO That's two!
Thank you for your input!
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:29:26 PM | ^^^Didn't we do this last night and look where that got us?! So we've established that he shouldn't include his views on corporal punishment or his demanding restrictions in his profile. This shouldn't be argued any further in here, especially because he's not wanting to argue it here. if he does then we do it here, as it was a part of his profile. I don't think Jerry's going to find many people who subscribe to his philosophy on discipline, and no offense Jerry but once children are involved it's a TOTALLY new ball game. And besides, consistency of ANY disciplinary method is the only thing that'll break a child's will to behave. You could whip your child with a strap or talk softly but sternly and hold your resolve firm and you'd get the same results with the same children with both methods. I've never spanked my kids and they are well behaved. Well, aside from my son pestering his little sister, who he knows will freak out when he picks on her.
And for the record OFCB, I was against the underwear bit remember?! I was the one who pointed it out! LOL I was in favour of the hat part. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:52:58 PM | ^^^
<div class="quote">Didn't we do this last night and look where that got us?! So we've established that he shouldn't include his views on corporal punishment or his demanding restrictions in his profile. This shouldn't be argued any further in here, especially because he's not wanting to argue it here. if he does then we do it here, as it was a part of his profile. I don't think Jerry's going to find many people who subscribe to his philosophy on discipline, and no offense Jerry but once children are involved it's a TOTALLY new ball game. And besides, consistency of ANY disciplinary method is the only thing that'll break a child's will to behave. You could whip your child with a strap or talk softly but sternly and hold your resolve firm and you'd get the same results with the same children with both methods. I've never spanked my kids and they are well behaved. Well, aside from my son pestering his little sister, who he knows will freak out when he picks on her.
No offense taken Deuce, everyone is entitled to there opinion. I know how I was raised,and do not think I turned out poorly. Therefore, I will honor my parents by defending the way inwhich they brought us up. As I have stated before, not ALL children will need to be spanked. Heck, as bullheaded as I am, I don't think I was spanked more than eight or ten times growing up. But the times I was, I needed it! lmao
<div class='quote'>And for the record OFCB, I was against the underwear bit remember?! I was the one who pointed it out! LOL I was in favour of the hat part.
YUP! I stand corrected, my short term memory stinks! That has been removed. lol
Thanks Duece!
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:09:50 PM | OFCB,
Saw many of the things Ms. Silver had mentioned (Typos: forget - forgot). Beyond that I thought what you currently have to be very good. The flow of your "about me" is smooth and I always enjoy your writing style. Your dry, wity humor works. I don't see it as juvenile. But I'm an old crusty sergeant so I'm probably not the one to come to for "adult" humor advice.
Others had mentioned your "restrictions" on what you were looking for in a woman. My personal opinion, you should say exactly what you want. Just do it in a positive manner. Which I feel you have.
Your "first date" section is unique and reflects what you looking for in a mate.
Just my 2 cents. Take care and good luck.
Havoc | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:10:47 PM | I never said spanking leads to poorly raised children. But I think the same results can be attained without spanking or other forms of forceful punishment. I'm not one of those passive parents that doesn't scold or talk sternly to their kids. I'm a Nazi most days! But my kids respect me for it and we are a close knit trio. We have a great time together.
Did someone call your humour juvenile? I must have missed that. Havoc, he has removed the "restrictions" that we were all talking about. I agree he shouldn't hide them but displaying them in his profile will not get a single girl to respond if she actually reads the profile in it's entirety and isn't a mouth-breather. Believe me, he did himself a favour by deleting it. But we suggested he find out what the lady is like in terms of parenting philosophies in the first couple correspondences and then he can filter from there, or as further questions. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:20:34 PM |
Didn't we do this last night and look where that got us?! So we've established that he shouldn't include his views on corporal punishment or his demanding restrictions in his profile. This shouldn't be argued any further in here, especially because he's not wanting to argue it here.
Apparently all the righteous pronouncements about what is and is not "appropriate" to discuss on a profile review thread only apply to the few, not the many.
It's good to see the blatant hypocrisy in people when push comes to shove. Looks like I have some re-evaulating to do.
OP, good luck with...whatever. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:30:52 PM | | Ack. Shirley, you want to push the issue with Jerry, take it to email or start a thread and ask him and the rest of the lot of us to join in. But you know as well as the rest of us that if we have a conversatoin about it here and the OP doesn't engage in the conversation we're all likely to get suspended for being off topic. If he wants to talk about it, it's on topic. If not, fooket. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:33:08 PM |
I never said spanking leads to poorly raised children. But I think the same results can be attained without spanking or other forms of forceful punishment. I'm not one of those passive parents that doesn't scold or talk sternly to their kids. I'm a Nazi most days! But my kids respect me for it and we are a close knit trio. We have a great time together.
No, I did not mean to indicate that you did, I had absolutely no problem with you your responses in any way.
Did someone call your humour juvenile?
lol No, that was how I worded my request.
Thanks Deuce! I always respected your advice, and you have shown your character through this "discipline" thingy.
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:59:10 PM |
Ack. Shirley, you want to push the issue with Jerry, take it to email or start a thread and ask him and the rest of the lot of us to join in. But you know as well as the rest of us that if we have a conversatoin about it here and the OP doesn't engage in the conversation we're all likely to get suspended for being off topic. If he wants to talk about it, it's on topic. If not, fooket.
Ok, maybe I need to clarify something here. It is not neccessarily that I am opposed to talking about this on this post.(if not against the rules) The problem is, I want to get my profile reviewed, and I do not have time to deal with both topics at the same time. As far as I am concerned, there is no better way to let the ladies know WHO I AM than to give them a window to my soul with a debate about "discipline". I have been through this countless times, on the same issue, in the last three years. I know how it is going to go, there will be people coming out of the woodwork to call me anything from a wife beater to a child molester. (past experience) If I am going to debate that issue, it needs to wait untill my profile is finished. Deal?
Sincerely
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:06:12 PM | Saw many of the things Ms. Silver had mentioned (Typos: forget - forgot). Beyond that I thought what you currently have to be very good. The flow of your "about me" is smooth and I always enjoy your writing style. Your dry, wity humor works. I don't see it as juvenile. But I'm an old crusty sergeant so I'm probably not the one to come to for "adult" humor advice.
Others had mentioned your "restrictions" on what you were looking for in a woman. My personal opinion, you should say exactly what you want. Just do it in a positive manner. Which I feel you have.
Your "first date" section is unique and reflects what you looking for in a mate.
Just my 2 cents. Take care and good luck.
Havoc
Thanks havoc! Appreciate the input! You were too late for the "juvenile" stuff.
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:21:56 PM | Thanks ALL for your input! I really appreciated your candid and honest reviews. I am headed out for the weekend, so will be unable to reply to any additional comments untill late Sunday night.
Have a great weekend everyone!
OFCB Over and out.
ps I was kept too busy replying to your suggestions to get them all finished. Just beause you do not see your recommended changes made, doesn't mean they will not be made at a later time. | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:15:30 AM |
If someone includes in his profile an attitude that is truly going to affect the results he will get on an online dating site, I believe it would be irresponsible not to point out to him the hazards and issues inherent to such a problem.
First of all, I have NO problem with you pointing it out. If I gave that impression in some way, I am sorry. I also think that you know I totally agree with you about "pink elephants". Have you not seen me do exactly what you have done for me, for others on quite a few occassions?
For instance, if an insanely pompous pseudointellectual revealed himself to be so in his profile, wouldn't you address that? Or would you say, "Oh, yes, very nice profile, you should do well!"
You know very well that I would address it.
The OP has some serious impediments to dating 99% of all women, according to his own figures. That's a pretty big pink elephant sitting on the rug.
NOBODY knows this better than OP does. I can NOT change who I am, or what I believe, simply to "find a wife".
I don't ignore big pink elephants sitting on the rug, but *you* are free to do so, if that's what you consider "giving your honest opinion."
I do not think I have ever asked you to ignore it. The only thing I have said is, it is not something that I am able/willing to change.
Thank you for your input.
OFCB | |
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| Humorous or juvenile?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:41:38 PM | | Unless I have inadvertantly missed something, all of the suggested changes have been made, with the possible exception of spelling/grammar.Along with a few additions. Time for round two. Let me have it all you review freaks. | |
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